CAPTAIN ANSEM!
Note: I don't own any of the characters/shows/games/whatever in this farce.
Also, I make no excuses or apologies for what will inevitably be a poor-quality piece of writing. Or use of profanity. And yes, I am aware that the total creative energy expended on this piece is close to zero. I don't want to hear about how I'm copying Robot Chicken or anything. I already know!
(Deep within the Old Mansion in Twilight Town…)
MICKEY: Organization XIII is plunging the worlds into darkness!
DiZ: That burns my arse!
Riku: Forget it, DiZ. There's nothing you can do.
DiZ: Maybe I can't, but Captain Ansem can!
(Mickey and Riku look at each other, Riku making the "cuckoo" gesture)
(Meanwhile, in the men's room [don't ask me why there's separate men's and women's restrooms…])
DiZ: Captain…Ansem!
(Sora walks in, takes a look at DiZ, then quickly exits)
(DiZ comes running out of the bathroom)
DiZ: CAPTAIN ANSEM!!!!
(runs into the street)
CAPTAIN ANSEM!!!!!
(He passes someone holding a heart, deciding between two bins, "light" and "darkness." He shrugs, then throws the heart into the darkness. DiZ comes back and kicks him in the head)
DiZ: Captain Ansem!
(Cut to The Castle that Never Was. Xemnas and Saïx are talking in a conference room)
Saïx: What world should we plunge into darkness next?
Xemnas: Well, the Land of Dragons could hold a lot of darkness.
Saïx: Ooh, it sure could!
Xemnas: Yeah, let's plunge the hell out of the Land of Dragons!
Saïx: Nice!
(Sees DiZ outside the window)
Hey, is that DiZ?
Xemnas: I think it is! What the hell's he doing?
Saïx: I don't know. He's on one of those ziplines.
Xemnas: Oh, is that what those are called, zipli--
(DiZ crashes through the window, knocking out Saïx and hitting Xemnas)
DiZ: CAPTAIN ANSEM!!!
Xemnas: Ow! You got glass in my eye!
DiZ: And my foot in your balls! (kicks Xemnas in the dingleberries) CAPTAIN ANSEM!!!
(DiZ grabs Xemnas and holds him out the broken window)
Xemnas: What do you want, DiZ?!
DiZ: Just sign this pledge not to plunge any more worlds into darkness and I'll let you go!
Xemnas: Okay! Okay! (pulls out a pen and signs the pledge)
DiZ: Hmm, this appears to be in order…(drops Xemnas) CAPTAIN ANSEM!!!
(Xemnas screams as he falls, until he is impaled through his gut by one of the castle spires)
(Cut to floating head of DiZ/Captain Ansem)
DiZ: Protect the hearts of the worlds, or I'll fucking kill you! CAPTAIN ANSEM!!!!
END
(I will not respond to anything about the many incongruities present. You should have more important things to worry about than some guy's crappy fanfiction on the interwebs.)