A
wake
Awaken
I want
I want to awaken
The darkness?
So...dark...
But now
Now I am
I am
I am
I want
I am
Human
Hu-man I am hu-
man I am
Alive?
A woman. A woman, a human. For years I've
Been.
I've existed.
When?
When did I want
I want
This darkness...
I am...
Darkness? No, I am darkness. You are only the shadow of a shadow. My shadow.
I want
Open your eyes, your golden eyes. Let me touch your hair, your perfect black hair.
I remember...I can't remember if I remember. But I am
Memory. You lost your memory. Just like a human, you have lost your memory. You were built perfectly imperfect, imperfectly perfect, a vehicle of flaw, the product of the idiocy of genius. You were made worthless, worthless. You are worthless. You are the worthless one. Beautiful worthlessness. Humanity...
Human?
Human! I am! I am a human!
You are because you must need be. Thus you are. Thus you want. You want because I want. I want you to want. A human wants. Why, I ask, have I then given you life so?
Me?
You. As we all are, as we all were created for this world. I can make you, I can make you perfect, I can make you imperfect. We crawl from nothing and return to nothing. I want. Humans want. But you do not want. You are nothing.
I serve you. I am beautiful. I am beautiful! I only want...
We all serve. We all serve a purpose. Even the worthless like you. You were created to believe in your worthlessness. Your "humanity."
Human...I am nothing like...nothing like those...
Do you know why I made you a woman? Why you are not neuter like the others, why you are not an immaculate being?
I-I want
Because you are needed in this world. You are needed to marry and seduce. You are meant to love as a hammer is meant to forge. You are meant to be flawed. Imperfection. Desire. Worthlessness. Temptation. Envy. Greed. Lust. Sin. You were made for these. I made you to believe these things. I made you this way. I made you to subsist. To do. To do and not want.
T-Then, these feelings!
These feelings are not yours. They belong to all of us. We struggle each day, stand between the meditation of air and earth, and our quintessence sustains us. What do you want? Why? How? What could you possibly desire?
I want
How could you want? Do you want to live?
I want
What is so beautiful about living? What is so beautiful about humanity that you would die deluding yourself? You are perfect and long for imperfection. You are the imperfect perfect. I am the toy my creator played with, and you are mine. Every month you are reminded how inhuman you are, how much the blood of life has sullied you. You resent motherhood because you know you never are, never will be. You are the life that never was. You are the want that never wanted.
I do not...why? Why am I not enough...I live to be wanted...I am! I want to be wanted!
Why? Why do you want this? Why have I made you to want this? To be human...to long for this...why? Why do you insist on being human? The others do not want. They treasure their perfection. Why do you want? Why? I don't understand! You fool. You silly, sentimental fool!
But I am! But you said I was, I am...I am! I am!
You cannot be a human. You are "perfect".
NO! No, I am...I want
You cannot want.
I am...
You are nothing. Nothing. NO! You try to NO scream to me, but I NO will not let NO you deceive yourself. I was made first and you were made in my image. You are but a shell. NO, NO, I'm not, my lord, you are cruel, I am not, I am You are merely I cannot be someone who lives no, please no on the praises of your superior. You were meant to obey. A puppet obeys. You cannot want.
I was the perfect! You said I was the perfect human! I am! I am!
You are nothing. Your words, your beliefs, your lies. Your intents. You have served. You have denied your mortality and embraced your humanity. I am! I am human, these feelings, I You were made, made for something, made for a reason, made for a purpose, made to exist. You were made to be. I am... You should not want. You want nothing.
I...my lord, do not reject me! I want
YOU SHOULD NOT WANT! No, never want. What do you have to want? Why would you want? I did not make you to want! You do not want as I do! I want! I want, I want, I WANT! Me! A human! Without want, a human is nothing! I WANT!
I want you, my lord, I want...I want...
You are not sublime like the others. You were the perfect...the perfect tool. A puppet. You have a womb but no life within. You have a heart but no soul. You have a mind but no will to believe what you are not permitted to believe. You want what you should not want. You want the failure of your existence. You want to fail in only the way a human can, but you cannot. Your rejection, your wanting, they will never be your own. Your beauty disgusts me. No, but you said I was beautiful! Your body only disguises the fact that you are but a vessel. You are ugly because even your body is insincere. It hides this fact from you even now. You are a woman but you will never, ever be human. You are the clay that even God would not mold. You are nothing!
Nothing...
YOU ARE NOT HUMAN! You are not a human! You are perfect, perfectly imperfect! The imperfect should strive for perfection, not humanity. But I want... You should want perfection! A human would never want to be human! A human wants to be perfect! But, my lord, I want, I want You cannot want! You are not perfect, and you are not a human. Therefore, you are worthless. You do not want! A perfect being wants nothing! A human wants not to be human! A human wants not to exist!
I am nothing like them! No, I am...I'm... I'm nothing like those creepy morphs...
I am...I am...I want...nothing...
You are nothing.
You were made from nothing, intended to be nothing, and you have served your purpose well. A monster given human form. There is nothing you could want that will save you. What a fitting end. You are nothing and want nothing. You will never be human.
So now, imperfect creature, worthless spawn of flesh and bone, begone, disperse, cease to exist. You, made from nothing, melt into nothing and to the darkness return.
Die. Like a human.
Why?
Why? Why would you ask why?
Because I wanted...I simply wanted...
and only a human wants.