Sheriff Jody Mills had been afraid before, sometimes very afraid, but nothing compared to the fear that spiked through her at the sight of Dean's face, when she opened her front door to the tentative knock.
Her eyes moved to Sam, standing behind his brother's shoulder, but what she saw there was not much comfort either.

"What is it? Is she ok?"
The words rushed out of Jody, almost stumbling over each other.
Dean answered in a low voice:
"She's stable, not much has changed since I called you. The doctor said that he expected her to be transferred to your local hospital tomorrow, where she'll probably have to stay for some days before she can go home. I'm sorry."

Jody finally exhaled fully.
It felt like she had held her breath since Dean called her the first time, telling her that Claire was in the ICU three hours away.
Stable but unconscious from blood-loss. With a broken leg, and some assorted bumps and bruises.
He'd been reluctant to tell her more on the phone, just saying that the hunt hadn't gone as planned and that they'd come by and tell her the whole story in person once they were sure that Claire was in good hands.

Jody stepped back from the door to let the Winchester brothers in, but neither of them moved. She frowned.
"Well, come on? Did you plan on camping on my doorstep while you explain what's been going on?"

"You'll let us in?"
Dean lifted his head slowly with a strange, almost fearful, look in his green eyes.
"Of course? Why wouldn't I? Get in here."

The tall men moved carefully into her home.
She almost had to herd them to get them into the sitting room, where they stopped and stood awkwardly side by side.
Jody frowned again.
"What on Earth is the matter with you two? You promised me the whole story once you got here, so come on, spill the beans"

Sam dropped onto the couch, sitting very quietly in the middle seat, shoulders hunched as if he was trying to take up as little space as humanly possible.
Jody's eyes lingered on him for a moment. It was quite amazing how a man that big could make himself look so small – as he was sitting there, he looked for all the world like a scared 6 year old, waiting for a scolding.

Dean took a deep breath before he started to say something, stopped, then tried again.
"Eh… well… I'm sorry…"
He ran to a halt again. The expression on his face clearly suggested that he was about to own up to something that he just knew was going to earn him a smack.

Getting exasperated by all the stalling, and weirded out by the strange vibes coming of the two men, she normally knew as accomplished and confident hunters, Jody resorted to the one trick she knew would work – she clenched her teeth before she spoke, putting that special timbre in her voice:

"Dean Winchester, you better start talking, right now, you hear me, young man?"

It wasn't playing fair, and Jody knew it.

Dean might have been only four when he lost his mother and Sam too young to remember, but it wouldn't matter – the Mom Voice doesn't care about such things, just like it doesn't care about insignificant matters such as age or biological relations.
No, it just bypasses all of that, heading straight into some deep place in the brain and clicks into place.
Both men winced.
Sam's shoulders crept up around his ears, but Dean squared his stance and said:
"Yes, ma'am"

Then it finally came. The whole sordid tale. The vampires. The unsuccessful hunt, the desperation as the body-count rose but they were unable to find the nest.

"And we… we… " Dean's voice faltered a bit, then the words came out in a flood: "We used Claire as bait."

He flinched as he said the last word, eyes squinting and head turning just a little bit to the side as if he was excepting a slap or a punch.

Jody was silent. Looking from one brother to the other, she said slowly:
"And how did she get hurt?"
It was Sam, who answered:
"We were too slow. We thought we had everything planned out, but we got there too late, she was already fighting them when we burst in."
"Did you get them all?"
"Yes, Ma'am, but she went down, and at first we couldn't get to her, couldn't…"
"She got bitten?" It wasn't a question, not really.
"Yes, Ma'am." Dean again.
"You gave her the cure?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
"It worked?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
"So she'll be fine?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
Jody closed her eyes for a moment as a wave of relief crashed through her. Then annoyance flooded through her and she growled:
"Then why the heck are you two so freaked out?"

There was an astounded silence, then Dean answered with a curious uncertainty in his voice that made the mother in Jody sit up and really pay attention.

"It was our fault she got hurt. I'm…we're …so, so sorry. I... we… it was our plan… and I... we should have never used her for bait… and we should have made sure we…"

"Oh, Dean…"
Jody shook her head. So that was what was eating the boys. She knew the hunting world. She didn't particularly like Claire joining it, but at the same time was rather proud of her for it. But it was dangerous, and things could so easily go bad.

Jody reached out a hand towards Dean's head, and he flinched again, his face scrunching up. When Jody's hand didn't draw stinging pain across his cheek, but just landed gently at the back of his neck, his eyes flew open with a wide-eyed look of bewilderment and he staggered slightly on his feet.

"Oh, Dean."
The warmth in her voice gave him the courage to meet her eyes.
To his great astonishment, he found the same warmth there, instead of the expected condemnation.

"I know Claire, and I know about hunting. She was safer with you, than going in alone, which she would have done, 100% sure of that."

Dean drew away from the comfort.
"No, Jody. Don't let me off the hook. We should have taken better care of her."

Jody moved with him, moved to the couch, getting both boys, her boys, into arms reach.
She put one hand around Sam's neck, feeling him go still as a statue under her palm, and she put her other hand, slowly this time, onto Dean's cheek, gently as if she was touching a wounded fawn in the woods, begging it silently to stay, not bolt away.

Getting the Mom Voice back in place, desperate to get through, she said hoarsely:
"Listen to me, the both of you. You. Are. Not. To. Blame."
As an afterthought, she added: "And even if you were, I forgive you, I always will, no matter what. You hear me?"

She drew back a little, trying to see if the words had sunk in.
But the brothers just exchanged glances and then Dean half turned his back, bend his head and she heard him whisper something.

A second later there was a whoosh and Jody stumbled backwards when Cas suddenly appeared right in front of her.

He nodded solemnly at her and apologized for startling her, before he, preoccupied, turned to look from Dean to Sam, then back again.
He sighed deeply and put his hand on Dean's shoulder.
"Oh, Dean. Sam. Really?"
Dean nodded wordlessly.

"Ok, then."
With a polite "May I?" at Jody, Cas steered Dean by the shoulder, going past her and into her office taking her confused nod as permission granted.

She heard him say: "Tell me everything" as he closed the door behind them.

Sinking into a chair she was still searching for something to say, when she heard the unmistakable sound of leather hitting bare skin. She jumped to her feet, but Sam stopped her before she had managed to take a step.

"It's ok, Jody."
"Sam? How can you say that? Why is Castiel… Why is…" Sorrow filled her voice. "He didn't believe me, did he? That I'd forgiven you? That forgiveness doesn't have to come at a price… He asked Cas to come here… to….?"

Sam shrugged.
"He believed you, probably, or would in time," he sent her a sweet, sad smile that almost broke her heart," but he didn't just need your forgiveness, he needs to forgive himself, and that, well, that does have a price."

Jody listened to the sounds from her office for a while before she asked:
"Do you believe me?"
"Yes, I do. And thank you, Jody."

"So you are not…" She nodded towards the office from where the rhythmic smacks still reverberated, now interspersed with small smothered sounds of distress as each slap echoed through her soul.

Sam sent her the same sweet smile, tinged with the same sadness.
"When the door opens and Dean comes out, I'll be going in there too. I'm sorry. I'm sorry this is causing you distress. I really am."
And that was yet another thing he would try to atone for, she realized.

They sat in silence until the door opened. Sam deep in his own thoughts and Jody at a complete and utter loss for words.

Then Dean stepped out and leaned his hip on the door-frame.
His hair was sticking out , making it look like a confused hedgehog had nestled on his head. His eyes were red-rimmed, and he looked utterly exhausted.
Sam got up and walked over. For a moment the two brothers just looked at each other, then Sam put his hand on Dean's shoulder and squeezed once, before he walked in, and closed the door behind himself.

Dean stared at the floor for a moment. He reluctantly lifted his head to look cautiously at Jody.
Jody looked at the big, dejected, tired man in front of her and simply lifted her arms up wide and out to the sides.
The next instant she was almost bowled over as Dean landed in her arms, pressing his face into her neck. She wrapped her arms around him, one hand running circles over his back, the other smoothing his hair in gentle strokes.

On the other side of the door, Sam had given Cas the same short resume of events as the angel had just heard from the older brother. And just like Dean, Sam apologized sincerely for "making you do this, again."
Cas had replied, again, that he would rather he didn't have to, but that he was here for them, for whatever help they needed. Then Sam had pushed his threadbare jeans and old boxers to his knees and had bend down to place his hands and forearms on Jody's neatly kept desk to receive the consequences of his decisions.

After that it was just two men - or one angel, one man, to be precise, and a belt, the sound of leather on skin and the building misery.

Warmth at first, quickly turning into a burning fire, then to unrelenting, unbearable pain, which Sam bore as he had born so much pain before.
But as the pain rose up, his barriers fell, and the relief of tears was finally granted.
The release of emotion, the pain pushing him over the edge to where he could finally let go for a little while and just be carried away from his mind to a pure uncomplicated place where there were no thinking, only feeling.

Then Cas put a hand around his arm, pulling him up and into a hug. And said the words that Sam needed to let go of the guilt.

He took a little time to get himself back to, well, to himself, before he went out of the office.

Jody was sitting on the couch. Dean was nowhere in sight.
Jody just got up, as Sam limped in, walked right up to him, and wrapped him into her arms. He let himself relax luxuriously for a few moments before he asked simply:
"Dean?"
"In the kitchen, peeling potatoes."
"Potatoes?"
"Yes, I'm making roast chicken with mashed potatoes and peas for dinner. Apple-pie for dessert, so you can join him, go peel some apples."

Sam was smiling for the first time in days as he walked into the kitchen to help prepare what looked to be a memorable dinner.