Chapter 1 – A Realization

Squall walked through a meadow and released a sigh of reminiscence. In a way, this was where he first met Rinoa. Though only a dream, it had still managed to convey her sparkling eyes and sweet, innocent smile with the utmost detail.

He gazed around him at the friends he had made on his journey. This was the last time they would be together before they went their separate ways. Zell was flipping around and showing off while Quistis smiled and clapped. On a nearby hill, Selphie took Irvine's hat and tried it on. She giggled as the brim fell over her eyes, then removed the hat as she laid her head onto his lap and stared into his eyes. He smiled at her as a butterfly landed on his knee.

There was a rustling, and Squall whipped around, not knowing what to expect. He smiled as he saw a blue-clad, raven-haired beauty running toward him.

"Are you done?" he queried.

"Yes," Rinoa said, nodding. "I've paid my respects."

Their ordeal was over, although it was a bittersweet victory. They managed to find Ellone after Rinoa went into her coma. However, when she realized that she was the reason for Ultimecia's tyranny, Ellone went back to her room, a morbid look of guilt dominating her countenance. Not long after, Rinoa woke up, and in the middle of all the rejoicing, it was a day before anyone noticed that Ellone had taken her life. In doing so, she had cut the sorceress off from the present as neatly as she had her own wrist. It was decided that "Sis" would be buried at Edea's orphanage.

"Squall," Rinoa began, staring at a patch of grass, "...I'm ...sorry." Her hands folded and unfolded behind her back as she dug at the ground with her boot. Ever since Ellone's death, she had been racked with guilt. She blamed herself for the death. Squall looked to the sky and sighed, then lowered himself to the ground and fell back. He wanted to tell her that it was okay, that it wasn't her fault, but he wasn't sure of this himself. The only thing he was sure about was that, no matter how much Ellone had meant to him as a child, Rinoa was all that mattered now.

"It's alright," he quietly stated. "I guess...I just won't be waiting for Sis anymore..." He trailed off, and a near-invisible tear ran down his cheek. His response was as bland as he had expected it to be. He silently wished that he could comfort her. Rinoa laid next to him and wrapped her arms around him, hoping she would never have to let go. She could not stand her time away from him. Though often cold and callous, there was something in him that she was inexplicably attracted to. She found it almost cute, the way he always insisted to do everything himself, though she would never tell him. Seeing him like this, however, hit her in a place she did not know could be touched- it hit her straight in the heart.

"I'm scared," Rinoa whispered, barely audible over the sound of air being parted by Zell's fists. "I don't ... I don't ever want to be without you." She hugged him tighter, cherishing the feel of the warm body hidden underneath a layer of leather not half as thick as the skin it covered. "I want to stay like this forever!" Her eyes grew moist as she remembered her experiences while comatose. She could hear him by her side, crying and begging for her to open her eyes, but she could do nothing to comfort him. Squall closed his eyes, hoping the emptiness would bring him the courage to do what he was about to. For the first time in his life, he was scared.

"Rinoa," he tentatively began, carefully choosing his words. Emotion was not his strong point. "There's ... something I've been trying to tell you." He paused, and Rinoa's face turned towards his, an unseen glimmer of hope being reflected by tears that were still anchored in their docks. The emptiness refused to help him, and instead left him drifting in a sea of "what-ifs". He sighed and began again.

"When you ... wouldn't wake up ... it drove me crazy." The tears were slowly beginning to roll down his cheek, tracing the outline of his scar. Though still uncertain, he knew there was no longer any turning back. Rinoa reached up and wiped away the salty masses, then smiled and ran her hands through his hair. She had never seen him so emotional. She found it to be an unusual, yet nonetheless pleasing change from his tendency to give no allusion as to his feelings.

"I wanted nothing more than to hear your voice, or see your smile! I wanted to hear you tell me that ... everything would be fine ..." He swallowed and continued. "But you would just ... lie there .. and I realized something!" He opened his eyes, tears flowing fully now, creating rivers and lakes in the beautiful lines of his face. "I realized ... that even though I refuse to rely on others ... there are times when I can't do everything. I can't live without you ..."

Rinoa waited with bated breath. Would he say the words she thought he would? The entire meadow grew silent; wind ceased to blow, birds brought their songs to an end, even Zell ended his raucous yelling and acrobatics. All waited in anticipation of Squall's words

"Rinoa, I…I…"

It didn't matter anymore- he had to say it. He no longer had anything to lose- he was a SeeD, he had no more epic battles to fight. His entire life would be no more than an amateur stage show, a simple pantomime of a real life. All he could do was lifelessly drag himself from one mission to the next, over and over and over, a sick repetition of the same exact events. At this point, all he had to live for was his one, his only, his Rinoa! He knew it was finally time to let her know what he had kept bottled up inside, his only true secret.

"...I love you."

The tears ran freely from the eyes of the couple as they embraced there, caressed by the warm earth beneath them. A crescendo of emotions, love, hate, joy, sorrow, relief, disbelief, everything jumbled up into a few quick seconds where agony met ecstasy, where they met, embraced, came together as one, then parted, leaving only a wan memory of the meeting that had occurred. She pounded his chest with lightly drawn fists, crying and screaming at him, "Why did you drag me along for so long? I thought I was a client to you, nothing more! I had no way to know! I thought I was alone! I thought I was alone!"

Her anger trailed off, giving way to a torrent of tears, tears, tears and the repeated phrase, "I thought I was alone…"

Squall lifted Rinoa's head oh-so gently from his chest, and looked deep into her eyes, his own vision swimming through her tears. "Whatever," he said with a grin. She smiled at him, a pure, unfiltered smile that had not been tainted by the evils of a world that stretched before them like a sunrise. Everything was new and beautiful now.

She laid back down on his chest and murmured, "I was so scared…Scared that you didn't care for me…Scared that you did care for me…Scared that we wouldn't make it…Scared that…that…" She trailed of as she realized that, for the first time, Squall was smiling at her. Not just grinning, but really smiling!

"Rinoa," he said, slowly retracting the sides of his mouth, to Rinoa's disappointment. "That's…exactly how I felt." She noticed another first- he was blushing! "You'll never have to be scared again. Wherever you go, I'll be there." His face took a serious turn as he finally realized the meaning of the vision he had. "But if we ever part ways, I'll be waiting here, for you. So…If you come here, you'll find me. I promise." As in his vision, a pure, white feather drifted down on phantom currents, landing perfectly in Rinoa's palm. She closed her hand on the memento and looked up at him. She smiled again and said, simply, "I love you."

They laid together on the grass for what seemed like years, bathing in the simple pleasure of being next to each other. Selphie looked at Irvine with a questioning look. He nodded, and she returned the gesture. They stood and walked to the blissful couple, Zell and Quistis not far behind.

Selphie looked down at Squall and lightly nudged him with her foot. "Um…Squallie? Me 'n Irvine are gonna take off now." Squall looked up at her with a wistful look in his eyes, then smiled and repeated his catchphrase.

"Whatever."

The gang shared a final hearty laugh, remembering their journey- both the good times and the bad. Then Selphie smiled again and said, "Anyway, we're gonna head out now. If you need us, we'll be in Trabia- we're gonna go live with the Shumi Tribe!" Irvine began a shrug, but was pulled away by Selphie just as his arms rose. The pair ran down the road, and Squall chuckled as he heard her raving about how cute the Moombas were. As if in line, Zell walked up to Squall.

"Hey man, me- I mean, Quistis and I," he said, shooting her a glance as he rubbed a long, thin welt on his lower arm, "Are gonna take off, too." He sighed and shook his head, then looked at Squall with a comically disappointed look on his face. "You shoulda opened up to me more, though- we coulda been best friends!" He looked at Quistis, then walked away at her nod. The only remaining person- besides Rinoa, of course- turned and smiled at Squall.

"So…" Quistis began, still smiling. "What plans are in store for the two lovebirds?" Squall looked away and said, "It's none of your-"

"Business!" Quistis finished his sentence, positively beaming. She sighed and said, "Well, I'm glad I got to know my student so well!" She turned and began to walk away, then stopped in mid-step and turned around. "Oh!" she exclaimed, "Zell and I will be in Balamb with his mother! You should visit sometime!" And with that, she was gone.

The couple, finally alone, rose from the grass and looked at one another with satisfaction and glee. "Squall-" she began, but was never able to finish, for it was then that Squall leaned in, and kissed her.