AN: This was originally written for the Writer Nexus on deviantart. Theme: Festive Delight.
Somebody asked if I could post it there too, and thus I do. Whether it's too late or too early for Christmas stories is entirely up to you.
2012 turtles. I don't own them.
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Mikey's Recipe for Sewer Christmas Cake
Wait for Splinter to go scavenging.
Get Leo's attention by putting a Space Heroes episode on TV. If he's too engrossed in his meditation to notice, steal his katana.
Get Raph's attention by trapping his hammock and/or filling his punching-ball with water. If he's too engrossed in complaining to Spike to notice, steal Spike.
Get Donnie's attention by sneaking inside his lab and tinkering with his stuff. If he's too engrossed in his experiment to notice, make good use of his rolling chair and steal Donnie.
Flee to the kitchen, possibly with katana, Spike and Donnie.
Wait for remaining brothers to storm inside.
Barricade the door.
Smile to melt possibly mad brothers, so they recall how cute you are. If needed, use Donnie's chair as a shield. As a last resort, use the Puppy-Dog Eyes.
Show them the Picture of the Perfect Christmas Cake that you drew with Love and Care an hour before.
Ignore Donnie's sarcastic remark about the true recipe for a Christmas cake.
Ignore Raph's snarky remark about algae and worms tasting like algae and worms, no matter what shape you give them.
Ignore Leo's teasing remark about the exaggerated amount of algae and worms you gathered for the cake.
Prepare the algae and worms cake while brothers model algae and worms figures to decorate it.
Praise Donnie's representation of a botanically accurate Christmas tree.
Encourage Leo's efforts to model Captain Ryan even if he's off topic.
Ask Raph why he would want to model a garbage can.
Listen as Raph yells it's Santa Claus.
Participate in the giant algae and worms fight started by Raph.
After an appropriate amount of time, mention Splinter's name.
Let Leo panic about kitchen's state.
Finish the algae and worms cake while brothers clean up.
Suggest to Donnie to put his rolling chair back in his lab. The kitchen isn't its right place.
Avoid Donnie's mop.
Hug Donnie.
Point out to Leo that there was just the right amount of algae and worms in the end.
Avoid Leo's rag.
Hug Leo.
Resist temptation to steal Spike a second time.
Try to hug Raph.
Avoid Raph's sponge.
Wait for Splinter to come back.
Present the Perfect Christmas Cake to Splinter, complete with its Christmas tree, Captain Ryan and garbage Santa Claus.
Beam as Splinter says it's a true work of art.
Say it was a joint effort and hug all three brothers.
Ask Splinter if he wants to taste it.
Beam as he says yes.
Wonder why brothers are making faces.
Beam as Splinter says it's the most delicious cake he's ever tasted, it's a shame he's not hungry.
Ask brothers who wants to taste the cake next.
Nod as they say they'll save it for Christmas Eve.
Eat cake.
Remake the recipe as many times as necessary.