Hi people, everyone's favorite FriendlyMushroom here, so let's explain a little about the why and what will you see here. The Simpsons, not the best section to write about I admit, being honest is was hard to think about a plot and about following the canon, ya know how Simpsons work, they start the episode with something and that something then has nothing to do with the rest of the story, well, sadly I couldn't do that but I think somehow I managed to place the characters in place, only that before reading this, you need to be warned:
It is a story about the future, so don't mention the years please, I tried to make it look as possible as I could with the many time switches between seasons, also, the story may be offensive but does not reflect my feelings about people, those are mine alone I guess, there will be many… how to say it…? Attacks toward gay people, sexist comments, excess use of alcohol, maybe some swearing and the mention of sexual interactions… so yeah, I think that's pretty much what we see in about any Simpsons episodes… the story is and will stay T plus since I'm not planning on going too far with the insulting and comments, maybe about alcohol yes, but nothing else for now.
At any rate, if this story offends someone, then I apologize but you were warned before reading this, so it isn't entirely my fault if you ignore the summary, I'm not racist, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm not sexist, yes, I dislike gay people, but respect them, only the story may say different but it's only to keep that spicy effect the Simpsons have on us, having said all this, please enjoy and please, whatever you read here is only for humor and background.
Lisa Against the Future.
"Aaaaah! Mother of Einstein, Darwin and Steve Hawkins! Bart! This is your entire fault!" Year 2012, date, new year's eve, 15 years old Lisa Simpson ran around the streets close to Springfield's elementary school with her accursed brother running after her while the 17 years old teen tried to run faster while carrying the young 7 years old Maggie Simpson since the young girl, now the living image of her elder sister when Lisa was her age only wearing blue instead of red, wasn't fast enough to escape from their pursuer. "What in the world were you thinking? Oh wait, don't tell me! You thought that stupid Mayan prophecy about the end of the world was real! So then you asked Nelson to lend you a few dollars you thought you would never have to pay! Then you as usual wasted it all in comic books!"
"Don't blame me! They said it was the end of the world on the brain-o-vision! If you can't trust television who can you trust?" Bart spoke in self defense, he then felt how Maggie pulled his ponytail and was about to speak when Bart interrupted the girl. "Don't pull the ponytail!" He yelled in annoyance, Maggie rolled her eyes and pointed at their pursuer, Nelson Muntz. "Waaaaah! Maggie! Normally no one can shut you up! Why didn't you said so earlier?" The young girl rolled her eyes in annoyance and was about to speak when Bart took the pacifier the girl always carries around her neck and pressed it against her mouth. "Ow, Brother! Will you ever shut up lil sis?"
"Simpson!" Everyone flinched, Nelson was slowly catching up. "You owe me money you little bastard!" Nelson tried to grab Bart by the ponytail, only Lisa grabbed Bart's hand and changed their running direction, forcing them to run down of a hill and to fall down of it and roll around the mixture of snow and grass product of the global warning in Springfield until finally hitting the grey walls of a long abandoned house. "Come back here Simpson!" Nelson yelled from the top of the hill, he then moved his thumb around his neck in signal of a death sentence, Bart gulped at the view. "If you owe the bank 100 dollars that's your problem Simpson, if you owe the Nelson Bank 100 dollars then that's my problem!" Nelson said while cracking his knuckles, Bart just gulped.
"You owe 100 dollars to Nelson?" Bart just smiled oddly and pointed at Maggie. "Don't tell me it was your entire plan Maggie? Who did you want to get rid of this time?" The girl opened her mouth to speak but Lisa placed her pacifier at her mouth just as Bart did not long ago. "You know, just forget it! I don't wanna know, you two are always placing me in the middle of troubles! Why was I cursed with such a moronically brain washed group of nitwits as a family?" She yelled in annoyance. "I will handle this, you two leave before…" But before finishing her speech she noticed both Bart and Maggie were already running for their lives. "Do'h!" Lisa yelled as her father, she then noticed the shadow of Nelson surrounding her and the girl began shaking with fear. "Ah… Hi, Nelson! Long time no see… please allow me to try and calm you down by saying in the immortal words of Spike Milligan, money can't buy you happiness." She then smiled oddly.
"Nice try, but I also looked for money quotes at the Wikipedia; I use them for my daily bully duties! Spike Milligan did say money can't buy you happiness, but he also said that it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." Lisa quickly took her laptop out and began doing a research; she then rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"Thanks a lot Wikipedia, you didn't just make my life miserable at elementary school but now haunt me outside of it." She added sarcastically, she then bit her lips once seeing how Nelson got his knuckles ready. "Maybe a different subject of speech, you wouldn't hurt a girl, right, Nelson? Especially not the one you shared your first kiss with." She added trying to sound playfully; Nelson smiled at that last, Lisa then cleaned the sweat away from her face. "Good… I thought I was a goner."
"Who said you are not?" He said while grabbing Lisa by the collar. "Nice try babe, but you lost your opportunity long time ago, and now here goes a quote you can remember, Ha-ha!" He added proudly and then launched a punch, only Lisa managed to evade it and Nelson's hand ended buried inside of the walls of the abandoned house, the wall crumbled in a section and both then fell to the insides of the house's basement, a cloud of dirt was then launched up by the impact of the two bodies hitting the floor, both then lazily rested at the dirty place while coughing because of the dust.
"Fine, I will pay." Lisa added in defeat, she then searched around her purse for money and waved it in mid air for Nelson, now standing next to her, and so he took it rudely; he counted the money and then placed his hand for Lisa to pay even more. "Let me guess… you want me to pay interests…" Nelson nodded, Lisa took more money from her purse and gave it to Nelson."
"A pleasure doing business with you." Nelson added and then helped Lisa up, he then cleaned her clothes out of all dust, something Lisa took as a nice gesture, but it only lasted a second before Nelson grabbed her by the collar again and stared at her with bully intentions. "Now, I want the money of your lunch!"
"Fine, it's yours!" She yelled scared and gave her purse to Nelson, the boy took all the money out and let Lisa go with a push, she fell and hurt her butt by the fall and began rubbing it. "Seriously… our relationship didn't end that bad, one would tell you would at least be kind to me." She said while standing up and cleaning her skirt. "You are just the living proof of Charles Darwin's theory of the evolution of all species, you could even be the missing link in the human evolution chain you Neanderthal!" Nelson just ignored her while searching for a way out, Lisa did the same and soon noticed the place they were both at, a place she visited once about 7 years ago. "This is Professor Frink's lab! The professor disappeared about 5 years ago after the clone wars! Remember the clone wars? Everyone had a clone and they went out of control and tried to take over Springfield? Only way to know you weren't a clone was clones had no navel?"
"Boooooring! Smell ya later." Nelson said while walking away and trying to climb the wooden stairs and toward the first floor, only the wooden stairs broke and forced him down and toward the floor, once again allowing a cloud of dirt and dust to cover the place. "…Ha… ha…" He said while standing up dizzily and pointing at himself proudly, he then collapsed at the broken pieces of wood.
"Thank you, karma." Lisa said while taking her phone out. "Sadly, Karma also trapped me with that last, so now I have no choice but call Millhouse, which is depressive because the less I wanted to do was spend the New Year with him." She waited at the other side of the line and tapped her foot impatiently at the floor; once the ringing stopped she happily spoke to the phone. "Hi sweety! It's me, Lisa! Listen, I know I said I wasn't going to spend the New Year's Eve with you because of a stop the global warming in Springfield meeting but I…"
"Hi, this is Millhouse, right now I'm doing some incredible warming up exercises to impress my girlfriend Lisa, if you are not Lisa, then tell her his handsome boyfriend is working very hard for her, if you are Lisa, then kiss the phone so the sound can be recorded at the recording machine, grrr…" Lisa then turned the phone off after rolling her eyes in annoyance.
"Ha-ha! Your gay boyfriend can't save you this time!" Nelson pointed at Lisa proudly while making fun of her, Lisa then tried to dial a different number and had similar luck, everyone was getting ready for the celebration and wouldn't answer the phone. "Ha-ha!"
"Ow! Of all people I could end up trapped with why in the world did it have to be you?" She said while searching for some boxes around the place to try to climb her way out to the hole both made at the wall when falling inside, upon finding a couple she climbed them and tried to reach the window and then heard Nelson's usual making fun quote. "What?"
"Just trying to make you fall, I wanna try something, your butt so big you may bounce back up." Lisa then covered her butt and lose equilibrium, she fell down and hit the zone once again. "Ha-ha!" Nelson laughed as usual, Lisa just stood up angrily and stared at him with hatred. "Whatever, I'm bored, I'm gonna watch some television."
"Oh really? How? If you hadn't noticed you broke our only way out of this basement!" She yelled, Nelson ignored her, he walked around the lab until reaching a giant screen, he searched all over the place for the remote control and luckily found one. "Nelson! These are artifacts of complex machinery, created by Professor John I.Q. Nerdelbaum Frink, Jr. A man with a coefficient intellect of 199, there is no way a person like you with an inferior complex can…" But her words were interrupted when Nelson kicked the machine and turned it on; he then punched some tools away from the table and sat there while staring at the screen. "…How did you…?"
"It's just a stupid television, now shuddup and get a beer for me." He ordered, Lisa crossed her arms in annoyance, Nelson then pointed at a fridge at one of the corners of the place, Lisa closed her hands into a fist and then walked to the fridge, took a beer out, and walked back to give it to Nelson. "Thanks babe!"
"Well, at least this time you had the decency of thanking me, but calling me a babe is sexist and orthodox, I kindly demand you to speak to me properly!" Nelson pressed some buttons at the remote control and trying to ignore Lisa. "Are you even listening to me? I respect you, so I think it's only human proper behavior to respect me back." She said while snatching the remote control, something that active the tool and displayed a video in the screen.
"Hey! You are on the TV." Lisa stared at the huge monitor screen at the wall of the lab, there, she saw herself, about 7 years in the future and at England, by her side was a person she had never seen in her life but knew him well. "Most be the Nerd Planet, I hate that channel, switch to FOX! I heard it's turning into a porno channel!"
"Nelson! This is not a television!" Lisa said while playing with the buttons and trying to turn the thing off. "It's one of Professor Frink's machines to predict the future, believe me when I tell you, knowing the future isn't nice, and how can I turn off this thing?" She pressed a button and the screen froze in a section where she was around 40 years old and marrying to Millhouse. "Do'h!" She said once again mimicking her father. "Why Millhouse? I'm dating him because I pity him! I mean, even I know he is gay!"
"Ha-ha!" Nelson said and snatched the control from Lisa, he then pressed the buttons and tried to look at his own future, what he found forced his jaw to drop, about 40 years in the future he was at jail and with 4 younger versions of himself, only they had violet hair and paler skin, he then saw a robot version of Chief Wiggum approaching to him.
"Nelson Muntz, you and your kids escaped us for so long, but we finally catch you! Took us 10 years but we finally did, hahaha, we told you the new law said robbing a Kwik-E-Mart was illegal, we don't like it either, everyone likes to rob the Kwik-E-Mart, but law is law, and now being 90% a robot I can't complain." Chief Wiggum said and then began processing some information at the computer of his chest. "There you go; the sentence for robbing the Kwik-E-Mart is dead! Oh, wait, that can't be right, oh well, the 10% part of my body says I'm too lazy to process the information again."
"What? I just stole a chocolate! I stole even more when I was a kid but you have no proofs to it!" 60 years old Nelson complained, the chief asked his robot friends to take him out of the force field that was his imprisonment and walked him to the electric chair next to the force field, where he was connected while his kids all laughed at him in his usual quoting style.
"Sorry kid, blame the current president of the United States for the law, I think her name is Lisa Simpson, I don't remember, I burned my memory chip a few years ago and forgot where to go to have it fixed." Nelson then stopped the video and stared at the screen with evil intentions; Lisa gulped hard and played with her collar.
"See? That's why I told you knowing your future is bad." She said while winning some distance as Nelson approached to her with his knuckles ready to punish her. "Nelson, wait, don't do anything you will end up regretting, besides, remember it is against the law to hit a girl!"
"I'm gonna die because of stealing a chocolate! What can they do to me now that is worse than that?" He said while grabbing Lisa by the collar and forcing her to stare at his eyes, they reflected hatred and evil intentions.
"Wait! How about I promise never to approve that law when I become the president of the United States?" She blinked twice at that last. "President of the United States? I'm gonna be the president? Bart did mention once I was going to make a career out of politics but I never expected this!" She added with a smile, but soon she remembered her current situation when seeing Nelson. "Wait! Your future is no worse than mine! I'm gonna end up married to Millhouse!"
"Umm… yeah, that's about enough punishment I guess, but I really feel like hitting you right now!" Lisa moved her head in negation several times. "Give me one good reason for me not to hit you right now."
"…Because…" She began trying to think fast. "There is a sweet side of you hiding somewhere that is telling you not to hit me?" Nelson stared at her with an emotionless look. "Fine, I will take the easy exit out of this one, I can help you change your future." Nelson kept his stare. "…And I will pay you 100 dollars for you to let me go."
"Now we are talking business." He said while placing her down, Lisa just searched for some money inside of her socks and only found 20 dollars; she smiled oddly as in an apology. "I accept credit cards." He said while taking a device from out of his clothes, Lisa breathed out in defeat and typed her credit card number and sealed the deal. "Deal, I won't hit you, but you still gotta change my future."
"Well, I don't think that's possible, I have had my future read several times already, and this machine proves what will happen, even when I know about the future events I always somehow end up living them… take me dating Millhouse as an example, he saved me from a fire when I was twelve, a fire I know he is responsible of and aren't supposed to find it out until I'm 16." She said while showing the events at the screen, where there were Millhouse and Lisa about a year in the future, sharing a moment after the graduation day.
"Millhouse, I have to admit it, that despite complaining about our relationship since the very moment we began dating, it had been kinda fun… well… not really but it isn't half bad." The Lisa at the screen confessed while Millhouse smiled oddly at her. "To believe we began dating because of you saving me from a fire at my saxophone recital back at school, some idiot of the pyrotechnic ruined my chance of ever becoming a famous saxophonist!" She added while biting her lips in annoyance. "I'm sure it was Bart's fault!"
"Yeah… Bart, it surely was his fault… it's always his fault, that's the reason of why we are friends no more!" Lisa, the one watching the screen then froze the image, she then stared at Nelson.
"I know it was him, Professor Frink told me… but somehow I don't remember it." Said Lisa while pressing the button of play and resuming the video. "Yeah… but he is my brother, I can't blame him, no matter how much he annoys me! He ruined my life of course but hey, it isn't half bad, I actually need to thank him, since it is because of him that you and I are together."
"So, you are glad for that fire?" Lisa nodded and smiled. "Well, then today is your lucky day Lisa, since you don't have to thanks Bart for the fire, it was me the one starting the fire, so how about sharing your first kiss with me now that you know the truth."
"It was your fault?" Millhouse nodded proudly while moving his eyebrows seductively. "You ruined my life!" She took her pearl collar off and began strangling Millhouse, the Lisa watching it all then pressed the fast forward button, at the screen it showed how Lisa strangled Millhouse at high speed for a long while longer. "Well… it continues like that for about 3 hours… what I'm trying to say is that for some reason, even after I know this is my future, it just happens."
"That's so not Ha-ha like." Nelson admitted. "You mean comic books lied to me all my life?" He then took many comic books from out of his clothes and began breaking them in annoyance. "That also means I have to burn my Back to the Future DVDs, and just when we were so close to that future! 2015!"
"Nelson! That's just a movie! The future will be nothing like the one from the movie!" She yelled in annoyance. "I just wish there was a way to change the future… let's try seeing what will happen in a couple of minutes." She pressed the control and then saw herself staring at the monitor screen and Nelson picking his nose, she rolled her eyes, turned around and noticed Nelson was doing just that despite looking at it at the screen. "See? Future can't be changed."
"Bullshit! You are just doing it all wrong! How about you do something reckless enough as to change the future? I don't know, let's kill someone!" Lisa was freaked out at that last and moved her head in negation. "Well then, forget about studying politics and become a show girl!"
"You are such a pervert Nelson! If you hadn't noticed I do wish to become a president!" She yelled, but she then rubbed her chin with interest. "But there must be something reckless we can do to change the future, but what would be reckless enough?"
"Let's kill Millhouse!" Pointed Nelson out proudly, Lisa just ignored him while rubbing her chin trying to think. "What? If we kill Millhouse you won't marry him in the future, I think that's reckless enough!"
"I guess marrying Millhouse is my biggest fear about the future… everything else I can tolerate I guess." She then stared at Nelson. "What's your biggest fear about the future?"
"Whales!" He yelled quickly, Lisa just stared at him oddly while placing herself in a model's pose unwillingly. "What? I do fear whales! What if in the future they nuke us back?" Lisa kept her stare. "How about being married to those twins to begin with?"
"Pregnant twins with both carrying twins by the way." Nelson's eyes widened. "I don't understand how you will end up married to them if you hate them both so much, and that's a close event to come, during the graduation date both will already be pregnant, so I guess you don't have much time left."
"Fine, then I will buy condoms at the Kwik-E-Mart." Lisa was grossed out when hearing that last. "What? I usually like the natural style." Lisa crossed her arms in annoyance and turned around while giving her back to Nelson.
"Natural style? Such an orthodox way of talking, not to mention disrespectful, I guess it's something that should be expected from someone with a lower than average intellectual coefficient." She then turned around and faced him. "Resuming it in words you can understand better… you are a pervert."
"I declare myself guilty." He admitted and then drank from his beer and burped. "Cool! Old beer is the best! Want me to burp the whole abecedary? I can even burp the new letters!" Lisa moved her head in negation while walking to the fridge and taking a beer out. "You drink?"
"Never in my life, but it's almost New Year and this is perhaps the reckless decision I need… maybe if I become an alcoholic I can change the future I will live in… who knows, a life of drinking at Moe's bar and smoking may be what I need… why being a genius girl when you know your life is doomed." She said while opening her beer can. "Cheers… for the year that is to come and for a future full with idiots and brain neurons destroyed by the alcohol with each passing day, leading my life toward idiocy and brain degeneration."
"Cheers!" Nelson added, Lisa ignored him for a second and then hit her bottle of beer with the one of Nelson, Nelson then drank his bottle empty, Lisa stared at him with disgust and then at the bottle of beer in front of her, she gulped hard and approached the bottle to her lips, she closed her eyes not trying to think about what she was doing. "Give me that!" Nelson yelled and snatched the bottle away from her. "I'm still thirsty! And girls don't know how to drink!"
"Give me that Nelson! The New Year's about to start and I want to start it by joining a society of drunkards with no future!" She tried to snatch the beer from Nelson's hand, only the boy was stronger than her despite Lisa having now a well body built feature that proved she was stronger than the average group of girls, perhaps product of her constant arguing and fighting with Bart. "Give it to me!"
"No way, ruining the future is boy's doing!" Lisa struggled against Nelson; the boy just drank the beer bottle empty while pushing her away with one hand. "Ha-ha!" He added while pointing a Lisa who was now biting her lips with rage and annoyance, the sound of people starting the countdown at the streets as the New Years approached was then heard, she began counting as well but trying to swallow her anger. "It's almost New Year and no beer for you, guess you will have to live another year as a genius girl."
"Think again! I'm gonna drink some beer and I don't care about the means!" She yelled but mostly in annoyance since her brain was no longer giving her the usual way of thinking, she then saw some drops of beer falling from Nelson's lips and so the girl pulled Nelson into a kiss while trying to drink the drops of yellowish and brown colors, the sound of claps was then heard and fireworks were thrown toward the sky, it was finally a New Year, the 2012 ended with a kiss, and year 2013 began with one. "I told you I was gonna drink before the New Year." She added dizzily because of the strong breath she swallowed away from Nelson's mouth. "I think I'm gonna be sick… what year is scripted in the expiration date?"
"Let's see." Nelson added with an emotionless tone of voice despite the kiss. "2000." Lisa felt her face turning green, she then searched all around the place for a trash can and puked there. "Yeah, I remember the day of my first drunk puking, best day ever."
"I hate beer." She added before throwing out once again. "What's wrong with me, I didn't just drink beer… I did it from Nelson's mouth! That's so…" and so she resumed the throwing out. "…Haven't you ever tried fresh mint…?"
"Mint is so gay." Nelson said while sitting on top of the table once again and pressing the controller, he then felt his eyes widening. "Oh yeah! I'm gonna start the New Year with style!" He said with a grin on his face, Lisa then stared at the screen after recovering from her half drunk state and then felt her jaw dropping, at the screen, Nelson and Lisa where making out. "Ha-ha! You will make out with an idiot!"
"How forward in the future is that?" She said while snatching the control from Nelson's hand, at the small screen of the controller it read 15 minutes. "I'm not gonna do it." She said, Nelson crossed his arms annoyed. "But then this means… let's see a little forward."
"Oh yeah!" Nelson said proudly, Lisa ignored him and programmed the controller to show her a year in the future. "Spoil fun! I will just wait for 15 more minutes then!"
"I told you I'm not going to make out with you!" At the screen, a new video began playing; it was from a year in the future, during the graduation day at Springfield's Elementary School and currently also Middle-School, the video was much the same, only that by her side wasn't Millhouse but Nelson, Lisa then paused the video. "…I can't believe it… Nelson's idea worked! A reckless moment in time changed my future… but just how much was it changed? How about 40 years in the future."
"So now what? Will you keep changing the future until there is one you like? Boooooring!" Lisa crossed her arms once again and stared at Nelson; the teen just stood up and got another beer from out of the fridge. "By the way babe, thanks for the kiss, there is still more beer inside the fridge! So, Ha-ha, to you!" Lisa tried to calm down by breathing several times to control her rampaging heart; Nelson just drank another bottle of beer and burped. "Whatever, keep staring at your future, what's so fun about that? I will tell you what's on the future, you trying to change yet another thing you dislike about it."
"I hate to admit it, but that was a smart thought." Nelson nodded and offered a beer can to Lisa. "No thank you." The girl said while pushing it away. "I'm not allowing you to get me drunk so you can make out with me… I have a different idea." She said while playing with her skirt. "So… if the small preview from the new future is accurate… then it means you and I will start a relationship, one that will work I guess, since we are still together at the graduation day… if that event happens, then it means I'm free from Millhouse!" She admitted with happiness. "But I'm stuck with you I guess, but that's not possible, yeah, we had some kind of a moment when we were kids, but it ended when you lied at me, it was supposed to be all over, and I no longer have interest on starting a relationship with you, but since I saw in the future that it works I may have to give it a try and…" Nelson rolled his eyes and approached to her. "Wait!" He stopped. "Mint!" She said while taking it out from her purse.
"What? That's so gay! There is no way in hell you will see Nelson Muntz chewing mint." Lisa then pointed at her hand watch, it read 13 minutes of the New Year. "Aw crud!" He said while taking the mint chewing gun and biting it open, Lisa also took one and began chewing. "This is so gay!"
"Well, it can't be gayer than kissing Millhouse, before we do this, you must promise never to lie to me ever again, that's what forced me to break up with you the first time." Nelson said nothing, he just faced away. "One minute… you don't promise there is no making out." Nelson began sweating; he then opened his mouth to speak. "Honest promise, you break it, no more Lisa for you ever again, you marry the twins and go to jail because of a law I will approve when I'm president of the United States… 30 seconds."
"Fine! I promise! Shut up already and start making out with me!" Lisa nodded and then kissed Nelson, he kissed back and began making out with Lisa just as he saw at the screen not long ago, they continued making out for a while longer, enjoying the sensation of the moment they shared, Nelson for the only propose of making out, Lisa for the propose of changing her annoying future with Millhouse, but slowly, both forgot about the reason, or at least Lisa did since Nelson was enjoying the situation a lot, and Lisa returned the kiss as if she really meant it. "I thought you said no making out." Nelson added while interrupting the kiss for a second.
"Shut up and kiss me! It's an order!" Nelson nodded and continued with the kiss, only their moment was interrupted abruptly by the sound of Lisa's phone ringing, she ignored the annoying sound for a few minutes, but the insistence was enough to drive her nuts, she took the phone and yelled at it. "What?" Nelson tried to reach his beer while Lisa spoke only she slapped his hand preventing him from doing it. "Oh, it's just you Millhouse, Happy New Year to you too." She said while tapping her finger at the table she and Nelson where sharing. "…How to say this in a way I can hurt you the less Millhouse…?"
"Oh! I know how!" Nelson took the phone from Lisa's hand, the girl complained and tried to snatch it back, only she once again was unable to defeat Nelson. "Hey loser! Guess who is making out with your former girlfriend! Stop calling this number you nerd, the girl and I will be busy the whole first day of the year, ya hear me, Nelson gonna play the gynecologist!" Nelson then turned the phone off, Lisa's jaw dropped. "What?"
"First of all! That was just rude! Second, Millhouse is a body builder now! He is going to kill you! And third, how in the world did you know what a gynecologist is?" Nelson was about to speak when Lisa stopped him. "Wait! I don't wanna know, it's much likely FOX's fault." She said, Nelson nodded. "I'm definitively not doing that with you, I'm different from my parents! I have more self control over the sexual impulse teenagers suffer during maturity!"
"Nerd!" Lisa was about to complain when Nelson tackled her down and began forcing her into yet another kiss, the girl tried to fight him back only to find herself giving up to the impulse and kissing him back. "Are we gonna do it or not?"
"Just a second." She said while taking the bottle of beer in her hand and drinking it empty before Nelson could complain. "Ok, I got rid of my common sense and now have an excuse for my behavior… you do anything you want to me now." She said with a smile and then hiccupped. "But be a gentleman, drunk or not my I.Q. is higher than yours, I will surely remember what happened so behave!"
"I wonder if the twins are like this as well." Lisa slapped him; Nelson ignored her, the making out then continued. Several hours later, and once the neighbors found out about the making out couple at the abandoned house, Nelson walked by the streets of Evergreen Terrace, carrying at his back the now drunk Lisa who moaned from time to time about the pain in her head product of her hangover. "Ha-ha!"
"Shuddap… I'm never drinking a beer ever again…" She added weakly while Nelson walked next to the Flanders's place, the windows and walls were broken and many bowling balls were pressed inside of the walls, the Flanders weren't at home, they were celebrating elsewhere, only their place was the victim of the Simpson's celebration. "Aw! I missed the Simpson's New Year's tradition… Bowling with the Flanders."
"Bowling!" Yelled Homer from his room as he and Maggie pulled a flexible red loop and placed a bowling ball on it, both then smiled evilly and launched the bowling ball and broke yet another of Flanders's windows. "Woohoo!" Yelled both Maggie and Homer, the man then rubbed Maggie's head. "You are the girl every father dreams about, smart and a prodigy but destructive and authoritative, not to mention you have a beautiful voice, why couldn't your brother and sister be like you?" Maggie tried to speak but Homer interrupted her while having a random idea. "Now let's launch some paint!" He yelled while placing a bottle of paint at the loop. "Take that Flanders!" He yelled and launched the bottle of paint, only the impact had a different result than the one he was expecting, breaking the wall instead of exploding and dying the walls. "Eeeeeh, that's what I wanted to do." He lied; Maggie moved her head in negation but smiled while hugging her father. "That's my favorite child."
"That's unfair old man! I'm still here!" Yelled Bart from the yard while placing some gasoline inside an empty bottle of beer and laughing evilly.
"Shut up Bart! You were the worst accident ever! And I'm saying it with all the love I have for you…" Homer said with a caring look on his face. "Which isn't much, so blow some stuff and win my love kid!" Bart nodded and launched the bottle; it exploded and blew up the whole Flanders's kitchen. "Ah! Not the kitchen! All that innocent food! Now I can't steal it from Flanders! Why you little…!" Homer then was about to jump out of the window when he had second thoughts. "Maggie! Bart is too far away to strangle him!" The girl rolled her eyes, Homer then began strangling Maggie. "Why you little…! Maggie would have blown Flanders's car! Not the kitchen! Why can't you be more like Maggie?" The girl complained Bart style, Homer then let her go and she gasped for air. "Thanks you sweety." He said and then hugged her. "See that Bart? Even Maggie's throat is softer than yours you inconsiderate child!"
"Homer! How many times do I have to tell you not to use Maggie as Bart's strangling replacement?" Marge said while hugging the still gasping for air Maggie, Homer just rolled his eyes annoyed. "Sometimes I wonder how Maggie can love you so much."
"Marge, you should be proud of me as a father, I teach them by example! Maggie! Whatever you do make sure you never become the kind of father I am now! You do that then you will find happiness, find happiness Maggie! I beg it of you! Find happiness! You can't imagine how sad it is to be me!" Maggie nodded several times. "Now let's place Lisa's underwear at Flanders's kid's beds! Let's give the old man some faint hope on his kids not becoming gay!" Maggie nodded while smiling and waving Lisa's panties in mid air. "That's my girl!"
"Mm-hmm…" Marge grunted in the usual way, she then stared out of the window and at the pair running inside Flanders's home and placing Lisa's panties at Rod's and Todd's beds. "Speaking about Lisa, I wonder where she is. There is no way a global warming meeting can take this long… oh, there she comes, Lisa!" Marge waved her hand to the girl, Bart, who was filling another bottle of beer with gasoline, then yelled out in fear.
"Ah! Nelson killed Lisa!" He yelled and then threw the bottle of beer to Flanders's home and ran away, it exploded and moments later Homer came running out with his pants on fire and began rolling around the snow trying to extinguish the fire, but it wasn't until Maggie came running with a bucket filled with water and splashed her father when Homer was safe.
"Bart! What did I tell you about setting your dad on fire?" Maggie then pulled Homer's clothes and pointed a Nelson. "Ah! It's Nelson! I swear I had your money! Please don't hit me! Hit Bart! He will last longer!" He said while running back inside of Flanders's home by jumping through the window.
"Homer!" Marge yelled while going out her home and grunting at her husband's behavior. "Nelson? You went to the meeting as well?" Nelson said nothing. "Of course not, but why are you carrying Lisa?"
"She refused to carry me." It was Nelson's only reply, to which Marge stared at him oddly. "She got all drunk with only a bottle, now she's your problem, not mine." He said while offering the drunken body of Lisa to the now arriving Homer, who was now wearing Flanders's pajamas. "Smell ya later people."
"Bye, bye sweetheart!" Lisa said while waving her hand to Nelson and moving her head dizzily. "Mom, I got a confession, I can't wear white during my wedding day anymore." She confessed with a disappointed and half drunk tone of voice.
"How about red?" Lisa nodded at Homer's words once the man failed to understand the meaning of her confession. "Don't worry Marge; Lisa is in good hands now, Maggie!" The girl came running to Homer's side. "Take your sister to her room." The youngest Simpson crossed her arms in annoyance but nodded, Homer then dropped Lisa's heavy body toward her.
"Aw, I'm just glad it wasn't Millhouse." Marge admitted while entering the house, Homer nodded and walked inside as well.
"Hehe, yeah, that kid is so gay, did you know he still sleeps with bear underwear with his name carved on it and the current day?" Marge stared at him. "I wasn't robbing his trash can." He admitted, Marge grunted.
At the second floor, Maggie finally managed to place Lisa down and at her bed, the elder sister then pulled Maggie into a strong hug. "It wasn't Millhouse!" She yelled happily while laughing hysterically, Maggie just coughed hard while being strangled once again.
That's it for now, I'm not even sure if I will post more chapters after this, depends on the audience I suppose and about the fact of no one being offended by what I wrote, and before someone asks, yes, I know, Nelson and Lisa did do it, but since I know there are probably some kids reading this, and they shouldn't, I had to hide the interaction so only teens and adults would understand it… I hope… and don't start with the: they are too young thingy because people… you know it isn't true, it's called being realist. Once again I apologize if someone was insulted by this and now I live while saying I just love the character I gave to Maggie, lol.