It was a morning like any other for our three heroes, but they didn't know they were heroes yet. Heroism was about to be thrust on them like "whoa man, I didn't see that coming!"
In any case, it was only a matter of time before some whacko stuff happened to them. They lived in a time where anything was possible, except peach cobbler, a good recipe for it had been lost for a thousand years. Our heroes exist in a place called the Kingdom of Dave, rumours have it Dave was a legend. It is said after Dave ruled for fifty years and found a water fountain of youth, he peaced out and went to live on a really cool island. After that the kingdom was divided into several sections that different races reign over. Our heroes live in the region called Land of Sun, where most humans, human hybrids and talking animals reside.
On this morning, our heroes, Elle, Viola and Izzy had come across a cave and found a cat who could do magic tricks. He also had a paper horn strapped on his head; the girls wondered who would want to make their cat look like a unicorn, but they quickly became distracted by the cat's next trick that involved a lot of shiny things.
I should mention our heroes are thirteen and their heights ranging from 5"2 to 5"5. I could go on about their physical characteristics, but I find it more entertaining to describe their appearances as the story goes along. So just when you start to imagine what one of them looks like I'll throw in a detail that forces you to change how you see them.
The magician cat held out his paw and tiny geometric shapes appeared coming to life and started dancing.
"Woo we're sentient!" The shapes cried out.
"We should take him home with us so we can finally properly entertain party guests." Elle said tucking a piece of her light brown hair behind her ear.
"By party guests I hope you mean hot men who will agree to become our servants!" Viola grinned, her yellow eyes glinting.
"What other kind of guests would we invite?" Elle nodded.
"This cat is so cute I just want him to love me and I want to dress him up in lab coats and sweater vests because I've always wanted a smart cat!" Izzy cried pulling at her face, her chocolate chip coloured eyes widening.
Amidst all the fangirling over attractive party guests and smart cats, the girls hadn't noticed the owner of the cave.
"Hey! What are doing hanging out with my unicat!"
The girls whip their heads around to see a menacing creature with ears like an elf and two long teeth sticking out of his mouth.
"I hate to burst your very delusional bubble-" Viola starts but Elle puts her hand over her mouth.
"We'll leave your unicat alone, don't worry!" Elle laughs nervously, her pale complexion turning paler.
"Guys I think he's a vampire." Elle whispers to her friends.
"No I don't want to die here in this cave. I have so many other things to do with my life, like eat more pizza!" Izzy trembles.
"Ahem. I can totally hear everything you're saying and I'm not a vampire, I'm a troll thank you very much."
The girls sigh in relief.
"That makes sense, it looks like a grub lives here." Viola inspects the cave, pushing her dark brown curly hair to one side.
Victor gasps, "Well I was going to tell you guys how to become mermaids cause I thought you were cool and would want to know how to become cool mermaids. But I guess since you think I'm a grub…"
"Wait, wait! We don't really think you're a grub! Please tell us how to become mermaids!" Izzy pulls at her face longingly.
"I've been waiting for this day my whole life. I knew I was always meant to be more than a lame human that can only breathe on land! Look we got off on the uncool foot, what's your name?" Elle attempts to smooth things over with the grey troll.
"Victor." He crosses his arms.
"Victor, we're sorry for earlier."
"You mean two seconds ago?"
"Yes. Let's try this again, I'm Elle, and these are my friends Izzy and Viola. We think your cave is super streets ahead and you seem like a cool boho type of guy."
"I would never be some hippie, I like the government too much! But alright I'll tell you all how to become mermaids!" Victor scratches his head and flicks his swoop styled hair.
"Yes, I'm ready like mom's spaghetti!" Elle shouts.
"First I need you three to bring me back cotton candy flowers from candy field, it's the final ingredient I need for my mermaid serum."
"How do we get there?" Izzy says, goosebumps rising with excitement on her milk chocolate skin.
"Here's a map, it'll tell you everything you need to know. Now, go, go!" He pulls a map out of his black vest, passing it to Elle and then pushing them out of his cave.
Soon the girls found themselves standing in front of a forest.
"The maps says we first have to go through the forest of uncomfortable sounds." Elle puts the map away in her back pocket.
"So basically the sounds we make with each other every day." Viola flails her olive toned arms in the air.
"Herp a derp." Izzy agreed.
"Ga derg." Elle chimed in.
"Herrrg." Viola added.
Their random noise making continues for a few minutes.
"Okay, okay we should really go now." Elle says.
They enter the forest when they start to hear a low half-hearted whistle.
"It sounds like someone trying to whistle but they can't. That's not uncomfortable that's just sad." Elle pushes the bangs out of her eyes.
Soon the sound of someone gargling is added with the poor whistling.
"Okay that's a little uncomfortable to hear." Elle nods her head.
Then the sound of someone hocking a loogi joins the mix.
"Ugh that sounds like a seventy-year-old man when he wakes up at five am to have his fibre drink." Izzy cringes.
Then the sound of someone swallowing a lot of food loudly starts.
"If these sounds don't stop it's going to drive me normal! I'll no longer be the awesome crazy person I am!" Viola presses her hands to her ears.
"These noises must be eliminated." Elle says, producing a demonic voice on the word eliminated to show how serious she is about her frustration with these sounds.
"I'll distract us with my soulful singing!" Izzy proclaims.
She clears her throat and fluffs her short black hair preparing to go super diva mode. One might say if her diva mode was quantifiable the number would be over 9000.
"There's all these awful sounds going on. I'm starting to think this mermaid thing is a con. But if there's a chance to go underwater and dance, we got to make it out of this forest by taking action with my distraction!" Izzy sings.
Izzy proceeds to do some runs, growls and other various singing techniques, and before they know it they come to the end of the forest.
"Thank MOM we're out of there!" Elle sighs contentedly.
"We wouldn't have survived if you hadn't sung for us Izzy." Viola says.
Izzy looks on the ground and notices a large bubble wand with her initial on it.
"Whoa this is hot beans!" Izzy picks it up.
"Come on, we've got to cross some bridge next!" Elle calls out to Izzy, as she runs ahead with Viola.
The girls stop in front of a bridge looking around for what their next challenge is, when they hear a high pitched disgruntled sound. They look down to see a small rabbit standing on its hind legs.
"Hello mere mortals, I am Mr. FuFu and I am the master of the bridge of riddles." The little rabbit shakes his paws in the air.
"Oh great, I have a feeling he's going to talk forever just to get us to solve the simplest question. Let's get this over with rabbit!" Viola crosses her arms.
"Silence! You must answer these questions three to pass by me!" He shouts.
"Alright hit us!" Elle responds.
"First question, what is black and white and red all over?"
"A newspaper, which don't even exist anymore. How old are your riddles?" Elle answered.
"Incorrect! Next riddle!" Mr. FuFu shouts.
"Hey, she answered that correctly!" Viola protests.
"Second riddle, what gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?"
"A towel!" Izzy answers.
"Wrong! You're all really terrible at riddles." Mr. FuFu smirks.
"We gave the right answer, stop lying!" Viola huffs.
"Final question, a fast food restaurant sells chicken in orders of six, nine and twenty six. What is the largest number of pieces of chicken you cannot order from this restaurant?" Mr. FuFu asks.
"Chicken?! We don't have time to answer your ridiculous questions anymore, where is the chicken?" Viola demands.
"There is no chicken. You have to answer my riddles to cross!" Mr. FuFu pouts.
"No man, no we don't. You have no right to choose who gets to use this bridge based on answering riddles, and then claiming the answers are wrong when we answer them right! That's a flawed system that is not fair and makes you an unrighteous rabbit! I'm ending this dictatorship and I really want chicken now!" Viola charges and knocks down Mr. FuFu.
"Sorry little dude, Viola's like a machine when someone mentions chicken, like an unstoppable killing machine that thirsts for some delicious deep fried or barbecued chicken." Elle dusts him off.
"We'll bring you back a carrot on our way back." Izzy helps him stand up.
"Unhand me you fool! And I hate carrots, I prefer celery or snow peas." Mr. FuFu turns his back to them.
"Rude, come on Izzy we don't have time for stuck up rabbits." Elle leads Izzy across the bridge.
Elle and Izzy catch up to Viola, who is standing by a river that looks like it's full of garbage. Viola turns around holding a leg of deep fried chicken.
"Where did you get that?" Elle says confused.
"Found it. I also found this." Viola pulls out a marshmallow gun from her pocket, it also has her initial on it.
"Where?" Izzy asks.
"Mmm-mmm, I sort of black out when I'm on the hunt for chicken, or any food really. I'm always hungry." Viola shrugs.
"We just have to cross this river to get to the cotton candy field. The map says the river is called The Sea of Garbage, which doesn't make sense cause it's a river, a sea is much larger body of water, clearly this map isn't about accuracy." Elle says, mislabelled things irked her quite a bit.
"I'm so pumped! Garbage doesn't bother me! My spirit animal is a raccoon." Izzy dives into the river.
Elle and Viola are a little more hesitant, slowly lowering themselves into the garbage.
"I'm ruining my favourite romper, but it's going to be worth it! I'll finally be able to talk to dolphins, who are way cooler than everyone at school!" Elle picks off a banana peel.
"I can't wait to look enchanting and trick people into coming underwater to my lair of torture!" Viola's eyes get all big and sparkly.
"I just want all the sea creatures to love me!" Izzy pulls at her face, when suddenly the undertow catches her pulling her with the current.
"Ahhh! Help!"
"Quick, Viola grab that piece of cardboard those maggots have built a home on." Elle commands
"So gross! I don't think I can touch it!" Viola makes a face.
"That is the nastiest piece of cardboard I've ever seen. But girls help their girls even if it means subjecting yourself to gross stuff." Elle says flawlessly delivering that pep talk.
Viola finally grabs the piece of cardboard.
"Well excuse me, but we're trying to have dinner here!" The mother maggot says in a southern accent.
The father chimes in, also with a southern accent, "Chillin' go to your rooms, pappy's gonna get rid of this intruder."
The ten maggot children wiggle to another corner of the cardboard. The father maggot pulls out a tiny shotgun.
"Come on get outta here, shoo!" He yells.
Viola shakes them off the cardboard, "Sorry, you can make a new home on that rotten tomato!"
The maggots scream as they fall, but Viola didn't have time to see if they were okay, because sometimes you don't get to know how something turns out. Also, her friend was in peril doom.
"Hurry!" Izzy panics getting pulled further away.
"Hold on!" Viola passes the cardboard to Elle.
Elle makes a lasso out of spaghetti and pulls Izzy in, and then, she passes the cardboard to Izzy to hold onto. The girls finally reach the other side and pull themselves onto the grass.
They sit there panting for a moment. Elle sees a bow and arrow in front of her. She picks it up and sees her initial on the bow. She looks at the field of cotton candy flowers and she gets up walking towards the field. She reaches the flowers, stares at them, flops down and she rolls around in the flowers.
Elle sings, "We're going to be mermaids, no more being peasants of the land world! Boo being human!"
Viola and Izzy join her.
"YESSS!" Viola yells in a deep voice.
Izzy stands up, "Let's pick these fluffy bad boys!"
The girls gather as many of the flowers as they can and head back to Victor's cave.
They enter his cave to find him painting his cat's paper horn a metallic blue.
"What do you think of Maxi's new horn colour?" Victor sets his brush down.
"Fierce" Elle snaps.
The girls set the flowers down.
"We got the cotton candy flowers, it's time to turn us into fab mermaids." Viola demands.
Victor takes a few petals off a flower and puts them into the jar that has his potion.
"Now I can become a mermaid and Alex will finally fall in love with me!" Victor cackles.
"Wait, what?!" The girls yell.
"Who's Alex?" Elle says.
"My soulmate, Alex just doesn't know it yet. I forgot to mention I didn't actually want to share my potion with any of you."
"Hey! We didn't go to all this trouble just for you to use the potion on yourself." Viola protests.
"Well that's why you never promise to do something just for personal gain. Teaching you kids some manners." Victor goes to drink the potion when he notices the three new items in their hands.
"Where did you get those things?" He points to the weapons in their hands.
"Oh these? They sort of just appeared after each time one of us did something heroic." Elle holds up her bow.
"That is a sign from MOM, you've been given the gift, or well job, of Majestic Guardians for The Kingdom of Dave." Victor explains.
"Since we're like champions now don't you think we deserve some mermaid potion?" Elle raises an eyebrow.
"Oh fine!" Victor hands the jar to Elle.
The girls each take a drink and Victor comments, "I needed to test the potion to see if it works anyways."
"What?!" They scream.
An hour later the potion works and the girls are flapping their tails around in a river. Victor and Maxi sunbathe on a rock. A few minutes later though the potion wears off.
"Nooo! What is this madness?" Viola cries.
"This is a pizza burn on the roof of your mouth bad!" Izzy frowns.
"Tis better to have been mermaids temporarily, then to have never been one at all." Elle says bittersweet.
The girls have a moment of silence for the return of their legs.
"Besides, apparently now we're going to be heroes!" Elle says and Viola and Izzy cheer in excitement.