A/N
Uh, I obviously like Blake. And I obviously like to get Blake into angsty situations. I'm not actually a sadist in real life, I promise. I just kind of like it when the extremely confident ones have to rely on others for a change, because that's what life is all about. Give and take. Story contains some spoilers for season 9.
This is my version of her little water-incident in episode 19.
She pulls herself out of the water and collapses on the ground, soaked through, gasping desperately for air. Air that seems to deliberately evade her frantic attempts to catch it. While she knows, in the far back of her cold, analytical mind, that of course there is air, there is plenty of it, she is in a state of panic - a state Alex Blake has rarely been in - and her body insists that there is no oxygen at all.
"C-can't breathe… I can't breathe…" she wheezes repeatedly, and the world seems to be spinning around her in drawn-out, greyish shapes. She is about to lose consciousness.
"Yes, you can," JJ's voice assures her from somewhere outside the mists of her howling, clawing panic. Blake tries to take deep breaths but her lungs won't obey the command; she keeps sucking at the air, swallowing it in unsatisfying sips that only makes her even more thirsty for it.
"Can't breathe," she pants and her eyes are filled with fear. She tries in vain to sit up, but she's too weak to do it by herself, and the younger woman ends up having to steady her.
"Alex, you're having a panic attack," JJ says. "It's gonna be okay. Just take deep breaths, okay? Hey, look at me. I'm right here."
But Alex Blake is too far gone into her own mind's trap and does not respond to verbal communication. JJ has time to think of the irony, the linguist who cannot communicate with words, before she springs into action. She knows Blake is extremely private and does not like it when people touch her, but there is nothing else she can think of right now. She positions herself behind the older woman and puts her arms around her. Blake is dripping with dirty water and shivering from either shock or cold, and for a moment she tries to pull loose, but JJ holds on.
"Easy," she whispers. "I'm here. I've got you. Breathe with me, Alex. Let me breathe for you." She takes deep, calm breaths, forcing Blake's body to adapt to her own rhythm.
Inhale… pause… exhale… pause… inhale… pause… exhale…
Little by little, the other woman relaxes in her arms. At first JJ isn't sure if it is because she has calmed down, or if she simply passed out, but then Blake speaks. It's a small, shaky voice completely unrelated to her usual confident one.
"I'm okay. I'm fine."
JJ smiles a little to herself. At least the choice of words sounds more like Blake. "I'm okay." "I'm fine." "I'm alright". Even with a bullet in her arm some time ago she insisted she was alright and didn't need medical attention. Garcia once called her Superwoman and Blake certainly seems to believe she is. Or at least that others expect her to be.
"You can, um, let go now."
"Oh. Right," JJ responds and lets her go, but slowly, ready to catch her again if necessary. Blake looks away and picks nervously at her wet clothes, and it takes JJ a moment to realise why. Blake is embarrassed to be seen in this condition. Mortified, in fact.
"It's okay," JJ tries to stem the flow of embarrassment that threatens to overflow the woman before her.
"No, it's not. I panicked. I don't panic. I never panic."
She feels betrayed by her own body, and even worse, her own mind, but she doesn't know how to tell JJ this. She looks up briefly and her dark brown eyes - so dark they're almost black - meet JJ's blue, and she sees something amazing. JJ already knows. Blake falls back into a slumped heap, but this time she's not choking. Nor does she feel as humiliated anymore.
JJ touches her shoulder.
"Come on. You need a shower and a change of clothes before you catch…"
Your death is what she almost continues with, but she manages to steer in a different direction at the last moment;
"… catch a cold."
Blake actually chuckles a little at this.
"I hardly think a cold is the worst thing that could happen", she says, and makes a grimace. "But ugh, that water… I smell awful."
"I never thought I'd say this, but yeah, you do."
This time they both laugh, and Blake feels the remnants of her deathly fear seep out of her. She wipes her hair out of her face and sighs. The feeling of air rushing through her lungs unhindered is almost intoxicating.
"I'm sorry I freaked out like that."
"No need to be. I would have, too."
Blake isn't so sure about that, but she lets it slide. She glances over her shoulder at the male agents that all stand by the riverside.
"Don't tell them."
JJ smiles.
"Tell them what?"
Blake returns the smile. What little makeup she wore has been smeared, but the smile lights up her eyes and makes her more beautiful than any makeup could manage.
"Thank you."
She gets to her feet with some assistance, and allows JJ to put an arm around her waist to steady her. It feels good. Human touch feels good.
"Thank you," she says again, this time thanking JJ for offering that human touch. She feels like she has been crushed to pieces and then put together as if she's a jigsaw puzzle, and she still doesn't have her words back, her linguistic skills. But to her astonishment she doesn't need them at the moment. Simple words sometimes say more than complicated sentences.
And sometimes, human touch says it all.