Cameron sat on the swing, idly rocking back and forth in a monotonous trance, lost in thought.
She watched the little girl next door. A sweet one, with rosy pink cheeks and fluffy blonde hair, always scooped into two little ponytails. Always carrying with her a little teddy bear, aged, with moth holes and tears. Always smiling. Always laughing. Always feeling.
Cameron has never felt. Never laughed. Never felt joy, or anger, or heartbreak. Only the feel of metal and spark that allowed her to function. She has always wished she could feel.
Sarah had felt anger and panic when John had snuck onto the truck. John himself felt fear when he saw the android break it's recruit's neck. He had felt anger towards her when she wouldn't allow him to stop that girl from jumping.
Cameron had felt nothing at all.
That was not true.
She could feel emotion, throwing itself against her mechanics, trying to break through and scream that they were there, that Cameron could have them for herself. She wanted to feel.
She could pretend to feel, to act human. She could mimic any language, any act, from flirtatious when she had first met John, in school, to frightened, when Cromartie, as a substitute teacher, rampaged through the classroom.
She knew she was more human that Terminators before her. She could control herself, her desire to kill. She could eat. It was virtually tasteless, but it went down either way. She had actual skin, with blood pumping through her. She could produce tears when need be, she could feel earth-shattering pain when hit in the right place.
If she could do these things, if she was so much more human than her predecessors, then why couldn't she feel?
She felt jealous at the little girl with the blonde hair and teddy bear. She felt a faint, barely noticeable, anger towards the many who chased John and Sara Connor, the closest she has had to a family. She even felt annoyance at the three men who stopped for her, when she went over to the side of the road, naked, before she tackled and took their clothes.
She supposed that was something.
"Cameron!" A voice called for her. It was John, beckoning her to come inside the house. Sarah had to tell them something.
This made her somewhat frustrated, to be snapped out of her thoughts. Another emotion to add to the small list of genuine feelings.
For now, it was enough.
A\N-Not sure why I wrote this. Boredom, I guess.