Author's Note-

[{{{Okay, so first off, this is meant to be really bad. Practically a parody lol. I am a fan of Naruto, and hope not to offend anyone. Like I said, I did this for laughs. Now that you know, enjoy, and laugh it you find this funny.}}}]

Naruto is sleeping in the garbage, wondering why Sasuke would never eat ice cream. Sasuke would always eat mushrooms, but not ice cream? Even though after Sasuke ate his special mushrooms, he'd suck his cock, and swallow; but would never eat ice cream.

After his deep thoughts about Sasuke, he gets up and eats his twinkie. The creamy center, gave him an erection. Then Lora Princess Rose, the most beautiful girl in the leaf village, with the eighty tail dragon inside her, teleported to where he was randomly.

Lora was so beautiful, she kinda looked like Kelli Fincher, but with way bigger tits. The kind of tits that I wish Kelli Fincher would have.

Lora look down at the bulge in his paints, and then they FUCKED!?

They fucked for hours, in fact they fucked till the next day, the same time they started the last day. As they finished Naruto looked over to Lora, with her big, green, Kelli Fincher eyes, and said "Lorra, the most beautiful girl in the village, and maybe the world. Will you tell your long lost brother Sasuke, that my dick is big, and is wait in for him?"

Then Lora nodded yes, because she can not talk because she had the voice like Kelli Fincher, and Kelli Fincher is a bitch because she said no, when I asked her out. Then she left on her blue phoenix, named Greg, and flew off, to a mission in the Sound village. Where she's also the most beautiful girl there. Did I mention she's beautiful?

Naruto got hungry. After the long, wonderful sex, his chakra was off balanced. So he did what every hungry ninja did, when they we're hungry...Go to the bowling ally.

The village bowling ally was the greatest place in the village. They had a strip club, bowling, cheetos, non-dub anime, and a non-stop screening of Spider-Man 3.

Naruto's favorite movie was Spider-man 3, because Mary Jane, and Gwen Stacie was hot in thoughts movie. Naruto walks in and sees Hinata. See was giving some old man a lap dance, wearing nothing but a navy blue thong, and top.

She turned to Naruto, and waved. Naruto only talked to her, because she let him into her brown eye. Her boyfriend/pimp, Jiraiya, also seen Naruto came in. Jiraiya was like a second father to Naruto, manly because Naruto's father is dead, and they both love da bitches. They both nodded at each other, and then he whispered into Hinata's ear "Go makes mez some mo' money! And fuck my budda!"

Hinata walks over to Naruto, and hugs him. Naruto quickly gets another boner. She walks him back to the backroom. Once they get back there, she pushes him to the couch, ripping off her panties, straddles him, and then they FUCK!?

During the intense sex, Kamkuro was hiding, and filming them with a super 8 camera. Kamkuro was Gaara's older, creepy, virgin, brother. The main reason people thought was wrong with him, was that he REALLY liked puppets.

After Naruto came, he throw her off, throw three bucks at her, and told just one thing..."You can get two-for-one glazed donuts, at...7-11." and left.

After Naruto came back form a far, and gave Jiraiya a thumbs up. That was a sign to Jiraiya, that he came, and only paid three dollars. Jiraiya smiled, and jumped with glee. Then Naruto saw Rock Lee, Shikamaru, and Choji, in one of the bowling ally.

Naruto walks over. "Hey, guys. What's up?"

Choji had a cupcake in his mouth so he couldn't repand, and Rock Lee was in the zone, bowling, but Shikamaru answered. "Not much." He said while watching Lee bowl. "Just another boring day."

"Still have that restraining order, on Ino?" Naruto ask, as he sat next to Choji, as he scarfed down some more cupcakes. "Yea..." Shikamaru said, with a creeped out shiver "but she keeps sending me naked pics of her with a little doll, made from my hair..."

"Hey, guys?" Lee said, throwing bowling balls everywhere "I'm inlove!"

"Who?" Shikamaru asked.

"Lora Princess Gothic Luna Black Rose!" Lee screamed, as he dropped to his knees, tossing one more bowling ball, that it Jiraiya's balls.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...Ahhh...Ahh...Ah." Choji said, as he ran out of cupcakes "You mean the most beautiful girl in existence, that looks like Kelli Fincher, but with way bigger tits.."

"Yea, we know who she is, you fat fuck!" Naruto replied itching his balls.

Then suddenly Sakura busted in the bowling ally...FUCKING PREGNET!?

"OH shit!" Naruto said "Lets sneak out to the back door."

Sakura was screaming for Naruto. Yelling for Naruto's head, and saying things like "You ruined me, for Sasuke." Her voice was the only nose in the whole building other then Spider-Man 3 on loop, and Jiraiya moaning in pain, gripping his in pain testicles. As they left, the last thing they saw was Sakura, stomping Jiraiya to death.

Once they got out, Shikamaru asked Naruto "What was that all about?"

Then Naruto told them about the time, him and Sakura got drunk, and fucked like two little teddy bears, looking for magic in the gun of Vash the Stampede's gun. That and he didn't wear a condom, and may have gotten Sakura pregnet.

Then out of no where, Kakashi drove up in the Mach 5, running over Choji's foot, because no one likes him.

"Yo, Kakashi" Naruto said, itching his balls.

"Yo, my homies." Kakashi blurt out "It'sz Sasuke. He kidnapped, Lora Sexxxy Batman Princess Dark Rose, yo diggity dog."

Lee dropped to his knees crying! "Hey, hey, hey, it'll be okay!" Choji said, trying to comfort Lee, but failing, and making Lee punch him in the nuts.

Eveyone started laughing, but Choji, but no one liked Choji so it was okay. Until Shikamaru got a text message, from Ino. It was a picture of her vagina, with the hair doll hanging out of it. He started crying, and everyone started laughing at him.

Naruto thought, finding Lora was a good way to hide from Sakura, and her prego ass.

Naruto then busted out "Let's go find Lora Smexy Princess Vampire Mystic Rose, the most beautiful girl we've ever seen, like Kelli Fincher, but with wayyyy bigger tits."

Then they all got into the Mach 5 and drove out of the Village to find the Uciha, Sasuke Uciha, and save Lora. The girl that looks like Kelli Fincher, but with way bigger tits...