(Right so I'm living in Germany now! Whoop! Also, if the times, etc., don't match up in this, seriously, please just go with it, I'm begging you. I tried, but I'm not perfect, and I don't know if I can make it completely right .Anyways, I'm sorry this took forever, and I hope you like it, even if it's a tad short. Much love!)

I missed London.

I missed the city. I missed the noises. I missed the people. Certain people. I missed working at Bart's. I missed being okay. I missed being Rose O'Hara. I missed my tiny flat… I missed those bloody annoying deductions.

Sebastian and I had moved around a lot after leaving London. We'd even debated going to America… But, due to certain pressing matters, that plan was abandoned. And now, we were settled in a very very small town right smack in the middle of France. I didn't know how long we would be able to stay, but I hoped for a while. I didn't like moving around. Besides, we'd finally gotten everything unpacked today. It was definitely a day for celebrating.

Lugging the bag of groceries back up my shoulder, I quickly made it across the street, and to the tall building I now had to call home.

We had a flat, big enough for our needs, but not extravagant. Of course, we could afford far more, but when trying to stay hidden and unbothered, one doesn't buy extravagant things. In fact, where we lived honestly looked like a tiny dump on the outside, with paint peeling and all that. But it was actually cozy, warm, and bigger on the inside…

Like a TARDIS.

John.

I swallowed hard, and let myself into the building, shaking away my thoughts. Now was not the time to think about my past- It was never the time to think of the past. It's strange how silly little things can bring everything crashing back down again. I'm lucky to have Seb with me. He understands. And if one of us can't handle it anymore, we have the other one to save us. Every time. I fear for the moment that one of us is too late.

Trudging into the kitchen, I began putting up the groceries, then put on water for a cuppa. It was then that I saw the note stuck to the fridge, and I smiled, reading it.

'Gone to pick up the Captain. Left you a present in the living room, Madam. Happy Officially Moved In Day! Yours, Seb.'

I laughed a bit, and went into the living room curiously. There on the coffee table was a vase full of red roses. I shook my head, but smiled. He only gave me roses on special occasions, or if I needed a cheer up. Apparently having fully moved in was a special occasion. I was about to go back into the kitchen to fix my tea when a flash of white in the bouquet caught my eye. Frowning, I went over to get a closer look, and my eyes widened when I realized what it was.

There, among the Roses, was a sprig of Hemlock.

I straightened up, and immediately picked up the vase, and carried it over to the high bar in the kitchen, already picking out several choice words to use. What was he THINKING? Hemlock? That doesn't even… Sure, I recognized it was poisonous, and I wouldn't do something as stupid as ingest it, but-

My thoughts were interrupted by cheerful voices coming up the stairs, and I quickly wiped the angry look off of my face, just as I heard the door open.

"… Oh really? And what did Amy do?"

"She said she would be my first mate! I know she's a girl, but it's Amy, so I don't think she counts- MUMMY!"

I beamed at the pair standing in the doorway, and knelt down to hug the little boy running into my arms.

"Kieran! How was school, Love?"

Kieran pulled back to frown at me. "Captain Kieran, Mum."

I nodded solemnly. "Right, yes of course, Captain. Would the Captain like a snack?"

He nodded quickly, his wispy hair falling into his face, and I stood to get him a juice box and crackers. Sebastian smiled at me, and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek.

"Afternoon. How was your day?"

"Good. And yours?"

He shrugged, and I snorted before handing Kieran his snack, yelling for him to keep the mess minimum as he raced up to his room.

I waited to hear the door slam before rounding on Sebastian, who was caught by surprise, halfway through biting into an apple.

"What the hell is that?"

His gaze followed my pointing finger to the bouquet, and he frowned, speaking with his mouth full.

"Wha'dya mean?"

I sighed, and picked the hemlock out of the cluster of flowers gingerly, gesturing to it. He swallowed his bite, and stood, frowning.

"I didn't do that. I wouldn't do that."

I gave him a suspicious look while zipping the plant in a plastic bag, and throwing it away.

"I'm serious Rose. I wouldn't- We have a CHILD running around!"

We held each other's gaze for a few seconds, before I looked away.

"Then who did it, Seb?"

He met my eyes, and leaned against the counter, quiet for a while, tensing.

"I don't know. But they must've gotten inside the house somehow. "

"Who would it be?"

I whimpered out, reaching to clutch at his arm. Sebastian and I could handle ourselves, but it scared me- actually scared me- that someone had gotten into our house. I would never forgive myself if something happened to Kieran. Seb hugged me gently, rubbing my back.

"I don't know, but don't worry. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I promised."

I swallowed hard, breathing in his now comforting, familiar scent, and breathing out slowly.

"I don't care about myself anymore, Seb. I just don't want anyone to hurt him."

My voice was choked up, and I heard him sigh.

"I know, Rose. I know."

############

"I went to the hospital today, Seb."

He looked up at me in surprise before a frown decorated his features.

"You didn't tell me that… I would've gone with you."

"I know."

It was silent between us for a while, almost awkwardly. I didn't know how to explain to him why I'd gone alone… I myself didn't even know. Whenever I'd had it planned, I'd always pictured him coming with me to my appointment. But for some reason, I just went by myself. It was a surprise, just like the baby had been. A surprise I didn't know if I wanted yet. Maybe it was something I hadn't known I'd needed. Maybe the baby was too… My mind was racing, thinking of what to say as I watched Sebastian clean his rifle. His leg was bouncing up and down; itching for a smoke then. He'd taken to not smoking round me when we'd found out I was pregnant.

"It's a boy, Seb."

A smirk crossed his face, and he looked up at me.

"Heaven help you."

I smiled a bit at that, and watched as he sighed, stood, and came over to sit beside me on the couch.

"Heaven help US. The kid needs a father- I figure I need something to do in my spare time. Got any names? Let Sebby review them."

I laughed at him, and snuggled into his side, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Sebastian WOULD be the child's father, or the closest thing to it. And honestly? It was such a comfort knowing Seb would be there, and he would watch out for us all.

A family. We'd actually be a family.

Not a normal one though. And that scared me.

"Kieran."

My voice was soft as I spoke the name. It felt right on my lips. I continued, speaking into the silence.

"It's Gaelic- means 'little dark one'… I thought it fit the time he was… conceived."

Sebastian was quiet, but tightened his arm around me. I sniffled, and closed my eyes, taking a trembling breath. Finally Sebastian spoke.

"I think it's a good name. It's a strong name. And he will be strong, what with the mother he has."

Emotion swelled up in my throat at his words, but I swallowed it back down.

"Let's hope he won't have to be."

Seb suddenly pulled my face up to his, his expression fiery.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you or him, Rose. I promise. I promise on my life, I will take my last breath protecting you two."

My eyes were saucers, staring into his, counting the flecks of gold in his irises. I didn't know what to say. What was there to say to the passion in his voice, the desperation, the love? What was there to say to the knowledge that every time he looked at me, Jim flashed through his mind?

There is nothing you can ever say to that.

So I didn't say anything; I nodded, and he nodded back. And I spoke again.

"Kieran Hamish."

There was a flicker of something on Sebastian's face before he asked the question I knew he'd ask.

"… John's middle name?"

I nodded, not making any move to explain. I didn't want to explain, nor did I think I COULD explain. It didn't need explaining in my mind. John deserved… Recognition. He deserved everything. He deserved so much better than the hell he got.

Sebastian didn't ask for elaboration, and for that I was thankful. Instead he stood, and walked towards the hallway, stretching.

"It's late. And you need your sleep. You're sleeping for two now."

He turned to face me when he reached the other side of the room, and watched me. I uncrossed my legs, but didn't get up, closing my eyes against the memories in my mind.

"Kieran Hamish Holmes."

My eyes opened, and my gaze focused on Seb, judging his reaction. He crossed his arms, and swallowed hard. Right then, explain. Explain the last name.

"Sebastian, it's not… It's not… a problem. My name- HIS name… It's not a problem. It's just… He'll be the only thing I have left of-"

My voice broke, and I shut my mouth, not trusting myself to be able to speak any more. Seb sighed, and opened his arms out to me.

"Come to bed, Rosie."

############

"Mummy, tell me a bedtime story."

I turned to face my son, who was tucked snugly into his blankets. Smiling, I went to sit on the foot of his small bed.

"Hmm, what kind of bedtime story?"

"Pirates!"

He spoke, pale eyes shining, as I brushed his dark curls out of his eyes. A miniature of his father. And just as brilliant too. The boy had the genes of a Moriarty and a Holmes; he was way ahead of the other kids his age.

I hoped his father would be proud.

I opened my mouth to begin a story, but Kieran continued on jabbering away. He did that a lot. Once he'd figured how to talk, he was off, and never shut up. So I listened to him tire himself out, ranting about school, and pirates, and Uncle Seb, and his teachers, and his friends at school, and-

"… Amy's Daddy is really really nice, Mum, he let us have an ice cream while we were waiting for Uncle Seb to pick me up from school. He asked about you again, and I said you were super fab-fabu-faboohlos like you always say."

I laughed, and tucked the covers in under his chin as he yawned.

"Hmm, well I'm glad you had a nice day, Dear."

"Mummy, where's my Daddy?"

I froze, staring down at the little boy clutching my hand. He had my nose, my lips, my same wide shaped eyes, his father's hair, brain, eye color. Here was my personal little piece of a dream, a dream faded and dead. An impossible dream.

But here was this ball of light, of peace.

Peace made in the darkest of times.

"M… Mummy? I'm sowwie, I didn't mean to make you sad."

I pulled myself out of my thoughts, and swallowed hard, putting a smile on my face.

"No, no, Kieran, Sweetheart. You haven't done anything, it's alright… Your Daddy is… well he's gone, Baby. There was a… a very very bad man-"

"Like a super villain?"

"Yes, like a super villain. And the very bad man wanted to hurt people. Hurt friends of your Daddy's. So your Daddy was very very brave, and he went to fight the bad man. And he won. But to win, he realized he had to… to uh… give himself up."

I didn't know how to tell a 3 year old that his father had died. I didn't know how to explain to him what all had happened. But that's when Kieran piped up, his small voice breaking the quiet.

"Like Captain America when he crashed the plane in the ocean?"

Tears filled my eyes, and I managed a smile, scooping my son up in a hug.

"Yes, Love. Like that."

"So Daddy's like a super hero?"

"Yes, Kieran. I suppose he is."

Kieran nodded, his eyebrows knitted in concentration as I tucked him in again, and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Goodnight Kieran. I love you very much."

I made my way to the door after checking to make sure his nightlight was on.

"Night night Mummy. I love you. And I love Daddy."

I leaned against the doorframe, my gaze blurring from the tears filling my eyes.

"He loves you too, Darling. He loves you too."