A/N: This is my first try at a Faberry fic. I had an idea pop into my head and thought I'd give it a try. Hope you all like it, and I'd love to know what you think.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of its characters.
Your One and Only
Part 1
You know you're blatantly staring at her, but you can't help it, and don't even bother to tear your eyes off of her. Your current staring session is safe for now, since she's singing in the center of the room and everyone has their attention on her. She has that star 'look at me' quality about her as she pours her heart and soul into whatever Mr. Schue's assignment was this week. Every little twirl she makes, the way she moves her hips to the beat of the music, it's entrancing and you are definitely caught up in her trance. You're vaguely aware of the clapping around you and realize that she's done singing and you had been in such a daze by watching her, your brain hasn't even registered yet that the song has come to an end. Your stomach flips and you swear she's staring right at you with a beaming smile and sly wink, but you chalk it up to the fact that you foolishly ate lunch in the cafeteria earlier today. A slight blush rises up your cheeks as you swear for a second time that she is definitely winking at you, until a voice in your head tells you to turn around. You try not to be too obvious as you turn your body slightly in your seat to see that Finn is sitting directly behind you, of course he is. You're such an idiot Quinn, you chastise yourself. Of fucking course she was winking at Finn, he's her boyfriend. Your days goes from bad to worse as she walks right by you, sits in his lap, and kisses him on the cheek. You can't help but wish that it was your lap that she was sitting in.
"Get a room," you mutter to them as you turn back towards the front of the classroom. Glancing at your watch you sigh in relief to see that there is only five minutes until the end of school, and the beginning of winter vacation. You can't wait to spend two lovely weeks holed up alone in your room, and more importantly, alone with your thoughts. It's been getting harder to hide how you feel, and you hope some time away from school and glee will help get her out of your mind.
"Have a good Christmas, Quinn."
Her voice jolts you out of your deep thoughts, and you look up to be met with sparkling brown eyes and a big smile that is so contagious, you can't help but smile yourself. "Thanks," you say, hoping that your rapidly beating heart isn't about to burst out from under your cardigan. You want to say more, anything to keep her in front of you and talking, but nothing comes to mind. You feel as though you've suddenly gone mute.
"Come on, Rach, let's go."
You see Finn calling her from the doorway and wish he would just disappear.
She looks from him, to you, and then back to him again before grabbing her bag and heading in his direction. "See you after vacation," she says, looking at you once last time over her shoulder before leaving with him.
"Earth to Q, are you leaving, or spending Christmas right here?"
"You're so funny, Santana." You know she's being sarcastic, but her tone annoys you.
"You're losing your touch. I saw you actually being nice to Berry just now."
You freeze, and only hope that a look of panic isn't etched on your face. She couldn't have figured you out, could she? You try to think of a witty come back, something to divert the attention from her, but nothing comes to mind.
"San, we have to get going. We have our last Cheerios practice before break. You know Coach will kill us if we're late. It's not too late to join us, Quinn."
You breathe a sigh of relief as Brittany saves you from Santana's questioning stare. "I know, Britt, but I've made up my mind for sure, I don't want to cheer anymore."
"Britts, right we gotta go. Let's do something over break, ok?"
You nod. "Sure, call me." You know she won't, now that she and Brittany are finally official, they are practically joined at the hip. You take the long way home and are ashamed to admit you drive by her house, but her car's not there. Finally, you go home, let yourself into the house, kick off your shoes in the hallway and make your way up the stairs to your room. Flopping on the bed, you let all your thoughts flood your mind. There are too many thoughts, you have no idea where to begin and your head starts to pound.
First, you're not really looking forward to the holidays, they haven't been the same since your mom left your dad. You feel partly to blame, getting pregnant at sixteen certainly wasn't on anyone's list of things to do or expect. You're pretty sure the stress drove your dad to cheat on your mom, which in turn led to the divorce. Not only did you disappoint your mom when you got pregnant, but you also disappointed her when you gave Beth up for adoption. The room she got ready as a nursery still has everything in it, neither of you had the heart to take it down. You know you did the right thing for Beth, but it still hurts everyday, knowing that she's out there somewhere with Shelby, and once again you let your mom down.
Now, you're planning on dropping one more big bomb, that will most likely kill the shaky relationship you have with her. You want so badly to tell your mom that you're gay, you always have been, and the boys were just a facade to make everyone happy, to make the impression that you really did have the perfect life and family. All you needed was the right time, and then Santana came out and now if you do it too, people will just assume you're doing it because it's the new fad and being gay is cool.
You try to think of anything but the thoughts filling your head, and a vision of her floods your mind. You smile, thinking about her perfect she is, but your smile quickly disappears when you remember the big hurdle that keeps you and her from being together. One Finn Hudson. Well, him and the fact that she isn't gay. You feel tears begin to roll down your cheeks before you can stop them. You wish you had someone to confide all these feelings to, but there is no one, so you cry into your pillow until you have no more tears to cry, and fall into a restless sleep.
/
You have somehow managed to make it two whole days of being in your room, and you're surprised your mom hasn't checked to make sure you were still alive. You're even more surprised when your phone rings and Santana's pictures comes across your iphone screen. You really didn't think she'd call. "Hey."
"Hey Q. Britts and I are going ice skating and you should really come with us."
Doing anything fun and holiday like is against your goal of staying in your room being miserable, but a part of you misses hanging out with your two best friends.
"Please say yes!" you hear Brittany yell in the background.
"Fine, ok I'll come. Give me a few minutes to get ready."
"Awesome, I'll be at your house in ten."
You drag yourself off the bed and look at yourself in your full length mirror. You look like crap. You quickly pull on some warm clothes, take a brush through your short hair, and apply some makeup, all by the time Santana is downstairs, beckoning you with her car horn. You scribble a quick note telling your mom not to wait for you for dinner and you're out the door.
"You look like crap," Santana says to you bluntly as you get into her car.
"Aw thanks, you look great too."
"No seriously Q. I'm worried about you. There's something going on that you're not telling us. You know you can tell Britts and I anything."
"Yeah, totally Quinn, we're here for you," Brittany adds, turning from her spot in the passenger seat to look back at you. "We're super glad you're coming with us. I've missed the Unholy Trinity going out and about."
You smile an actual smile at the mention of the nickname you gave yourselves years ago. "I'm glad I came too."
Santana glances back at you using the rearview mirror. "She what is going on with you?"
You can tell Santana is actually being sincere for once. You used to be the best of friends, and it's not secret that you're not as close as you have been, but it's nice to know she's still there when you need her.
"I just have a lot on my mind." you say truthfully.
"Like one Miss Rachel Berry," she says with a wink.
You don't even know how to respond because you don't know whether to deny it or finally get it out in the open.
"You were right San, you were so right," Brittany says, getting excited. "Aw, you two would be so cute together!"
You're sure your face is as red as your scarf and you wish you could shrink into the backseat and disappear. You take a deep breath collecting your thoughts before you say something you don't want them to know yet. "How did you know?"
"Please, Q, you really have to be more careful with your leering. Anyone with two eyes can see that you've had the hots for Berry for a long time."
"Please don't tell anyone, please." You feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders as you realize this is the first time you've acknowledged your crush on Rachel out loud.
"I'd never do that to anyone, believe me."
You know exactly what she's talking about and you immediately feel better, knowing your secret was safe. "I like her a lot," you admit, happy to finally be able to talk to someone about it.
"Well then go get her," Santana says as if it's as easy as buying an article of clothing.
"You are forgetting two very big things. One, she's not single, and two, she's not gay."
Santana waves her hand as if she's waving a fly away from her. "All technicalities Quinn. Finn is the worst boyfriend ever. She would be lucky to be with you."
You suddenly feel the need to take the conversation away off of you. "I thought we were going skating. We're not in Lima anymore."
"San decided the Lima skating rink was too boring, we're going to the bigger one in the next town."
You shake your head with a smile, leave it to Santana to even make ice skating interesting. Lucky for you, they are pulling into the parking lot of the rink before either of your friends can question you any further. You have a slight spring in your step as you follow them to the skate rental desk. If you knew admitting your feelings would feel this good, you would have done it months ago.
Santana and Brittany take right to the ice, skating circles around the other people enjoying the rare warm winter day.
You hang back a minute, not as good on the ice as they are when someone catches your attention out of the corner of your eye. You do a double take as you see Finn skating with a girl, only, the girl isn't Rachel. You are pretty sure your mouth is hanging open in shock, and hope there is an explanation for what is going on right in front of your disbelieving eyes. You clumsily skate towards Santana and Brittany to get their take on it, before you jump to conclusions. "Hey guys, did you see who I just saw?"
Santana follows your line of vision and notices the tall boy right away. "Holy shit, what is he doing with that girl? That's not Berry!"
"You guys, Finn wouldn't cheat on Rachel, he loves her," Brittany says, trying to be the voice of reason.
"I wouldn't trust him. Besides, he did cheat on Q with Rachel that one time, and then Finn and Q cheated when she was with Sam, and I'm sure there was more."
"Ok, enough Santana. Let's not rehash old topics, let's just figure out what's going on now. If he hurts Rachel, I'll kill him myself." You all watch as Finn skates with the pretty blonde girl, and gives her a kiss on the cheek.
"Maybe I was wrong," Brittany admits.
"This is bad," you hear yourself mumble. You know have to decide what to do with this newly obtained information. Right away you want to tell Rachel, but what if she doesn't believe you. You go to grab for your phone to get evidence but when you look around, Finn and the mystery girl are no where to be found. "Shoot! Where did they go? I need to get it on my phone so she'll believe me."
"I don't think us telling her is a good idea."
You look to Brittany, torn about what to do.
Santana interjects before you can respond. "How about we just enjoy the rest of the day and worry about Finn and the midget later."
/
It takes you two whole days to get up the courage to go over to Rachel's house and tell her what you saw the other day. It takes you another ten minutes to convince yourself to actually get out of the car. You take a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves as beads of sweat begin to form on the palms of your hands.
"Quinn?"
You jump at the sound of her voice and drop your keys from your already shaking hands. You slowly turn your head to look out the window and almost gasp out loud by just how beautiful she really is. How is it possible for someone to look this good after just coming back from a run? You decide right then that her hair up in a messy bun and little tiny running shorts are now your most favorite outfit of hers.
"Are you going to get out of the car?" she asks, pulling her ear buds from her ears.
Finally pushing your fears aside, you get out of the car and follow her to the front door.
"What do I owe the honor of Miss Quinn Fabray gracing me with her presence?"
You can't tell if she's being serious or mocking you. You know you don't deserve her to be nice, after the way you've treated her the past few years. "I need to talk to you, and this was something that couldn't be done over the phone."
"Oh, well, come in then, please."
There's no turning back now, you tell yourself.
"Have a seat, make yourself comfortable," she says as she points to a spot on the couch.
You wring your hands nervously before wiping the sweat off onto your jeans. You're just about to open your mouth to speak when her phone goes off. You know by the way her face lights up, it's Finn.
"Hi Finn," she says with a big smile.
You watch as her face goes from happy, to sad, to back to happy again, trying to hide her obvious disappointment.
"You had to work late the other night too, Finn. I was really looking forward to our date tonight. Fine, I love you too," she says softly as she hangs up the phone. "I'm sorry, what did you want to tell me?"
"Are you ok?"
"I'm fine," she says, but her face tells otherwise. "Would you excuse me for a minute, I'll be right back."
You watch as she hurries out of the room and it takes all you have not to run out of the room after her.
"Rachel, Honey, are you home?"
You look up to see a very handsome black man walk into the living room and recognize him as one of Rachel's fathers.
"Why, hello. I'm sorry, I didn't know we had company."
"It's ok, I'm just here visiting Rachel."
"You'll have to forgive me, I'm terrible with names. You look familiar from the glee club."
"I'm Quinn," you say, as you stand up and shake his hand.
A smile comes over his dark face. "Oh, so you're the Quinn Rachel is constantly talking about. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Can I get you anything? I see that Rachel has forgotten her manners."
"I'm fine thank you." You sit back down as he leaves the room and can't help but be surprised that Rachel has mentioned you. You can only hope it's good things and not the awful things you've done to her.
"I'm sorry to leave you like that Quinn. What did you want to tell me?"
You can tell she's been crying and the last thing you want to do is make the situation worse. "I was out the other day," you start slowly and softly. "I saw something that you really need to know about, Rachel."
"What is it Quinn? You're worrying me."
"I saw Finn, he was out skating a few days ago."
"That's impossible," she exclaims, jumping up from her spot on the couch. "Finn has been working extra hours at Burt's shop lately."
"That's what he wants you to think, Rachel. He's actually been with some other girl. I'm really sorry."
"No! You're lying! You're just jealous that Finn chose me over you."
"I wish I was lying, but I'm trying to help. Santana and Brittany saw it too, if you don't believe me."
"I don't believe you, why should I? Just when I thought maybe we were close to becoming friends. Get out!"
"Please, listen to me. You're too good for him, you deserve better.'
"I'm done listening to this!" she yells as she storms off to the front door, and holds it open for you.
You hold back tears as you run to your car, not letting them fall into you're safely inside. Your plan completely backfired, now Rachel hates you. You can't believe you actually had visions of her thanking you and falling into your arms.
/
"Hey, are you ok?"
You look up from your spot on your bed to see your sister standing in the doorway. "I'm fine," you mutter more into the pillow than to her. You feel the bed dip down a little and know she has invited herself in and is now sitting on the bed beside you.
"Mom's worried about you."
You sit up to face her, crossing your legs underneath you. "You can tell Mom I'm just fine."
"We used to be so close, Quinn. What happened?"
You sigh in frustration, you really don't want to get into feelings and being all mushy, it goes against your plan to be completely miserable all vacation. "I got pregnant, ruined our family's reputation, Dad cheated, Mom kicked him out, I gave Beth up for adoption, should I keep going?"
"I just get this sense it'd deeper than that? I know I haven't been the best sister around, but it's Christmas, almost a new year. Can we have a new start?"
You feel unexpected tears come to your eyes and thought you had no more tears to cry. Part of you wants to tell her so much, just get it all out in the open, but it's stuck deep down. You hug her, knowing it says more than words can.
"Will you come downstairs now? It is Christmas, after all."
You smile despite the tears, happy to have your sister back on your side.
/
You pace in front of your full length mirror, debating if you should change again. You can't believe you let Santana talk you into going to her parents huge New Year's Eve party. Nothing you put on seems to look good, though you don't know why it matters, who are you trying to impress? You glance over to your alarm clock and see that you better get going or Santana will never let you live down being late. Bundling up against the cold you decide to walk at the last minute, hoping to clear your head as you make your way to the party. You still haven't heard from Rachel since you told her about Finn, and you haven't had the guts to call her and see how she's doing.
"Thank god you're here," Santana says as soon as you step in the door. "There's only so much Britts and I can handle before we drink all the alcohol."
You scan the large foyer and can't believe how many people are in the large Lopez house. "Your parents sure know how to throw a party."
"Yeah well my dad is now chief of surgery now or something, I guess it's a big deal. Anyway, let's get you a drink."
You follow behind but something causes you to stop dead in your tracks. You swear that girl looks an awful lot like Rachel, but it couldn't be her, could it?
"Quinn?" She follows your line of vision and smiles knowingly. "Oh, did I forget to mention one of Berry's dads works with mine now. She's actually not so bad looking when she's not raiding a kindergartener's closet.
Not that bad looking? She looks absolutely beautiful and you can't help but stare and hope you're not drooling. "How could you not tell me she was going to be here?" you hiss at Santana.
"You'll thank me later, I'm sure of it."
You hesitantly take a cup from Santana, knowing she has a tendency to make her drinks strong, but you will probably need it to make it through the night. The alcohol burns all the way down your throat and hits your stomach with a satisfying feeling. You turn to thank Santana for the excess alcohol but she is no where to be found, and you can only assume you don't want to know what Brittany and Santana are up to at the moment. You settle yourself against a wall, which just happens to have a perfect view of Rachel dancing with some people you don't know. You can't help but be jealous of the countless amounts of guys who have been hitting on her, and dancing up on her. It takes all of your willpower not to knock them out and dance with her yourself, but you're not that drunk…yet anyway. You remove yourself from your permanent spot on the wall to get another drink and try to distance yourself from the beautiful girl. Grabbing your coat, you go outside to get some air and try to think about anything other than the fact that Rachel was closely dancing with random guys. You'd kill for a cigarette right now and curse silently when your hand comes out of your pocket empty.
"You were right you know," a small voice says from behind you.
You don't have to turn around to know who it is and to say you're surprised is an understatement. She is even more beautiful up close, if that's possible. Her low cut, skin tight black dress really leaves nothing to the imagination. "I was right about what?" you ask, finally finding your voice.
"Finn. He was cheating, with a girl from Vocal Adrenaline." She rubs her bare arms to fight off the cold.
You can't tell if her face is red from the cold or if she's crying. "I'm really sorry, I didn't want to be right." Before you know what you're doing, you open your coat to her, inviting her in from the cold.
She hesitates for a moment, before joining you in your coat, arms tight around your waist. "I'm sorry I lashed out at you."
You rest your chin lightly on top of her head, eyes closed slightly, breathing in the scent of her shampoo, and never want this moment to end. You wrap your arms around her, closing your coat around the both of you. "It's ok, really, don't apologize. He's an idiot if he can't see what an amazing person you are."
"Really?" she says, not bothering to hide her tears.
"Really," you confirm. You have no idea how long the two of you stay like that, caught up in the moment, but you hear people start to shout out a count down inside the house. "Guess it's almost midnight," you say, finally breaking the silence. "You can go inside, I'm sure there are plenty of guys waiting to kiss you as the clock strikes twelve."
She steps back so she can look you in the eyes, her already beautiful brown eyes are only accentuated by her tears. "I'm pretty content right where I am," she says shyly.
Your face begins to burn and you don't know if it's from the cold, alcohol, or the way she's making you feel at the moment. "Me too," you admit, and can't believe you just said it.
"Three, two, one," she says softly. "Happy New Year, Quinn."
You look down at her, "Happy New Year Rachel." You can feel your heart rate begin to increase as she steps on her tip toes and leans in towards you. You are completely taken by surprise as her lips meet yours, completely expecting a kiss on the cheek. You push your lips softly against hers, savoring the taste of her berry lip gloss. You hate to be cliché but it's exactly how you had imagined it and more. You feel her pull away and wish it could have lasted a lot longer. Just like that, she turns and runs back into the house, leaving you more confused than ever.
A/N: Ok, so this is getting a lot longer than I had envisoned. I'm thinking now I will write it into two parts. Maybe the next part will be from Rachel's POV. What do you guys think? Thank you so much for reading!