A/N: If you like nice, happy endings, TURN AROUND and stop reading this story at chapter 27. While this is the "lite" version ending, it's still got some angst to it.
Thank you all for reading and if you like my writing, you may wish to look up the SVULadies group on Yahoo or check out where most of my work, but not all is located.
BTW, the title comes from a line of "Hurt" as sung by Johnny Cash: And you can have it all, my empire of dirt…."
Olivia bundled Gillery up and walked beside the wheel chair carrying Alex. They had been alerted that a small crew of news photographers was camped outside the hospital waiting for the first pictures of their daughter.
Mason had arrived to help them get home and to navigate the press that awaited them. He smiled down at Alex as they waited to be wheeled out to the loading area of the hospital. As they exited the hospital and stopped to give everyone a chance to photograph the new family, Mason moved behind Olivia to open the card door.
Olivia, who was still holding Gillery heard the noise first and just as she turned to see where it was coming from, blood from the back of Mason's head, as well as shards of glass, covered her own face. Her first thought was to protect Alex and their child. As she tried to shield both the baby and Alex, she felt a stinging sensation in her shoulder, followed by a sucking sound coming from her chest.
Alex was now covered in both Olivia and Mason's blood. She was trying to get out of the wheelchair when her security detail converged upon her and pushed everyone to the ground. In the frenzy that followed all she could hear was someone yelling, "Shots fired! Shots fired!"
She was screaming for Olivia and their daughter and continued to scream as strong hands pulled her away from her wife and child. She was forcibly moved into the hospital and an ER room to be examined.
"Where's Olivia? Where's my wife and child?"
"They're being worked on Governor."
Alex pushed the hands that were trying to hold her down away and tried to get out of the gurney she'd been placed on. Her press secretary suddenly appeared inside the curtain and she suddenly realized that the one person missing was Mason.
"Stephanie? Where's Mason?" Her voice lilted at the end as her mind tried to fill in the missing pieces of the proceeding few minutes. When the younger woman didn't answer her, she asked again, "Where the fuck is Mason?"
"They're working on him Governor." She looked hopeless.
"Olivia and Gillery?"
"Them too. I'll go see what I can find out."
"Please call Pierre. She'll want to be here."
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24 Hours Later
Alex split her time between Olivia's bed and the Neonatal ICU, getting more time with Olivia than their daughter. The shot that hit Olivia had been a through and through that had grazed Gillery's forehead, fracturing her young, still developing skull. The baby had to be placed into a drug-induced coma while they waited for the swelling to go down.
She was currently sitting next to Olivia's bed, waiting for her wife to regain consciousness. She was simply resting her head on the bed when she felt the familiar hand running through her hair.
"Liv?" When she saw two brown eyes starring back at her, she smiled and took her wife's hand.
"Gillery?" Was all Olivia could croak out.
"She's alive Liv." The tears started to fall as she continued the next part. "The doctor's have given her a 75% chance of surviving. Her little skull is fractured. They've got her in a coma until she heals some."
Tears leaked out of Olivia's eyes. "Mason?"
Now Alex's face crumpled and all she could do was shake her head. "He died instantly according to the doctor. Pierre's a mess."
"I'm sorry." She licked her lips. "Water?"
Alex nodded and filled a cup with the clear liquid, placing the straw to Olivia's lips. The brunette eagerly drank, letting the water flow down her parched throat.
"Can you help me adjust the bed?" After she was sitting in an upright position, she allowed Alex to buzz the nurse. "When can we see Gillery?"
Alex glanced at her watch. "In about an hour. She looks bad Liv. Her little head is bruised and she's very pale and still." Alex clasped the brunette's hand. "And I'm so scared for her."
Olivia pulled the hand to her mouth and kissed it. "We'll be ok Alex." The nurse came into the room and checked her bandages. After she'd left Olivia took Alex's hand again. "Do they know who did this?"
Alex shook her head. "I don't know Liv. I've been focused on you and Gillery. I know that Hammond and Elliot have both been here, but I don't know anything beyond that."
"Ok. Do I have any clothing besides this hospital gown?"
Alex smiled at her wife and then pulled a pair of sweats out of the duffle bag. She helped Olivia get into them and then helped her comb her hair before going in search of a wheelchair.
She wheeled her wife down to the NICU where they had a short wait before being allowed inside. She wheeled Olivia as close to the incubator as she could get and they held hands as Olivia surveyed the damage done to their daughter.
"Gov. Cabot?"
Both women turned toward the voice and found the face of a middle aged doctor.
"Dr. Young, this is my wife, Olivia Benson. How's Gillery?"
He shook her hand and then examined the baby. "She's a tough little girl. The swelling in her brain has gone down considerably, which is good. If she continues to improve I will begin bringing her out of the coma in the next 24 hours." He looked between both women. "I don't think there will be any brain damage, but more than likely she'll suffer from seizure for the foreseeable future."
"Brain damage and seizures?' Both women looked stricken. "What does that mean for her? Can she ever lead a normal life?"
The doctor shrugged. "Only time will tell, but she will have special needs throughout childhood. She will require lots of care, especially for the next year."
Olivia looked up at Alex. "We can handle that."
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3 Days later
Gillery, Olivia and Alex were all settled into a private room in the hospital that Alex had requested now that Gillery was out of her coma. The little girl had already had three seizures, which had mortified Alex. Olivia, even in her weakened condition due to the gaping and slowly healing hole in her chest, had handled them with aplomb.
They were just trying to feed the little girl when Agent Hammond appeared at their door.
"Governor, Capt. Benson. May I have a moment?" He averted his eyes when he saw the mottled bruises on the young baby's head.
They buzzed the private nurse Alex had hired who came into the room to take care of their daughter, while they followed Hammond out into the hall.
"What is it?" Olivia had taken Alex's hand.
"Capt. Benson, do you recall when you got that flat tire right before you and the governor were…married?" Olivia nodded. He turned to Alex. "And the attacks on Morgan and her girlfriend that led to their deaths, as well as the second attempt on your life that started this entire thing?"
"Yes?"
Olivia shook her head. "No, no way they are all connected. Please, tell me they aren't connected?"
Alex looked surprised. "Wait, Velez's son tried to kill me and he was dead by the time Morgan was…killed."
Hammond nodded. "Yes, but we never figured out who tipped him off."
"And now you know?" Olivia looked uneasy.
Hammond took a picture out of the folder he was holding and passed it to Olivia who passed it to Alex.
"Oh my God! That's Tim Conyers, my chief of security." She grimaced. "He hung himself?"
Hammond nodded. "He left behind a pile of evidence at the hospital. He knew it was only a matter of time before we linked it back to him. It seems he was adopted as a teenager by his foster family. His birth name was Tim Bryant, brother to John Bryant, doing time in Attica for multiple rapes. You prosecuted him, which Conyers apparently held against you all these years. He had some pretty out there radical ideals, and exhibited sociopathic tendencies. We found a letter of confession, in graphic detail, about his attack on Morgan and her companion, his hatred of Mason and how he 'kept' your secrets, and how he wanted you to suffer like his brother had suffered." Hammond sniffed. "And apparently he hated gays with a passion rivaled only by Fred Phelps."
Alex collapsed and Olivia and the nurse rushed to her side. Hammond left them alone, telling Olivia they could talk later in the week.
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6 Months later
Olivia found Alex in their bedroom starring out the window. She slipped up behind her and wrapped her in her arms.
"What are you thinking?"
"How this is all my fault. Six months ago we were so happy. We were getting ready to leave the hospital with our baby, Mason was happy and then it all went to hell. Now a little boy will never know his father, our daughter is going to have issues the rest of her life, Morgan and her girlfriend are dead, and it's all because of me! I brought all of this on Olivia. I killed my baby because I wasn't strong enough to handle this and now? Now I still have a child who will require massive amounts of time and attention, only three people and countless lives are ruined because of me and my choices."
Olivia turned Alex to face her. "This is not your fault. None of this is your fault. God is not vengeful Alex and you or God, can't control somebody else's hatred. Ok?" Alex just stared at her. "I need you Alex." The blonde tried to turn away but Olivia held onto her. "It's been a long time Alex."
Alex sighed, gave up and allowed Olivia to undress her. She tried to be present in their love making, but her mind was all over the place, and the best she could offer her wife was a half-hearted faked orgasm. She quickly rolled Olivia beneath her and roughly brought her wife to completion before bursting into tears.
Olivia eased out of bed and went into the nursery to get their daughter. She brought the little girl back to their bed and settled Alex and their child between her legs. Alex always held their daughter as if she were the most fragile thing in the world, and now was no different.
Alex smiled as the little girl found her breast and began to nurse. It seemed to be the only time the blonde smiled these days.
"You look so beautiful when you nurse her."
"Really?"
"Yes, really." She kissed the blonde's temple and ran her hand over the baby's head. "We'll get through this Alex. I promise."
"I miss Mason Olivia. Pierre must hate me."
"No, she doesn't Alex."
Alex didn't acknowledge what Olivia said, opting to change the subject instead.
"I'd like to start seeing Elizabeth again."
"That's a great idea Alex."
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1 Year Post Shooting
Alex stood at Mason's grave holding Pierre's hand.
"He loved you Alex and he wouldn't want you to feel so guilty for what happened. He made his choices and I always respected them."
All Alex could do was nod. Both women smiled as they watched their children running around the cemetery, chasing each other. Gillery had coordination issues, but young Alex was very gentle with her, even as a toddler.
Alex pointed as the little boy was helping her daughter up.
"And the tradition continues."
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Alex Cabot left public office in 2016 to devote time to her young daughter and wife. Through the years she was approached first for a seat on the Supreme Court and then for a cabinet position in Hillary Clinton's second term as president. She declined both, having gotten her fill of politics as governor, opting for pro bono work when the need to do something arose.
She and Olivia had nearly 25 years together before a massive stroke claimed Olivia's life at the age of 78. She passed away one month after the wedding of their daughter Gillery to Mason's son Alex.
Alexandra Cabot lived 3 years after the death of her partner and passed away quietly in her sleep just after the right to marry was granted nationwide to same sex couples. Something Alex had devoted the last three years of her life to in memory of Olivia.