"...Fasten your seat belts, ladies and gentlemen, because we have take-off! Wheeeeee!"
Once she had crawled all the way to the highest point of the Mystery Shack, the preteen brunette promptly stuck out her arms and starting race up and down the slope of the roof. She hummed loudly in attempted imitation of a plane engine, and clearly didn't care about the precarious height in the slightest.
As she had the time of her life, down below her brother was on the verge of a panic attack. Gasping hard, Dipper sprinted out of the gift shop and out into the dirt parking lot.
"MABEL!" He breathlessly started to wave, shout, and jump around like an absolute lunatic as he struggled to grab her attention. "Mabel! Mabel! Mabel, okay here! MABEL!"
His sister "landed" dangerously close to the edge, leaving mere inches between her and a sizable plummet to the ground below. The close call forced a cold shiver down the length of his spine. While Dipper's entire scrawny body trembled under the force of the unstoppable shudder, she meanwhile slapped on a smile so tremendous that it looked like her mouth was trying to take over her face.
"Hey, Dipper! Dippingsauce! Dippin' Dots! Hey hey, Dipster! Dipmaster Dip! Dipperino! D to the R! Dipper-mite! Dipper-Dipper-Nice-and-Chipper! The Dipper Man! Dip-Diparoo!" Mabel was never still for even a split-second. Up and down she furiously bounced as the river of nicknames gushed so fast off her lips that her twin could barely understand her. "Hey, hey, hey! Look! And listen! Look and listen! Listen and look! Dipper, listen to me and look at what I'm doing! I'm an airplane! I'm an airplane! See? See my wings? Now boarding the 11:50 flight to Awesome-City! Population: this girl right here! ZOOOOOOM!"
"Th-that's great!" He lied. "Uh, hey, how about you take a nice big step back from-"
A sharp creak interrupted them. Mabel's started casting her gaze about in every direction possible as she sought the source of the sound. "What's that? Hey, Dipper, did you hear that too? Huh? Did ya? The noise? The noise right now? Did you hear it? What was that? A bird? Squirrel? Ooooooh, a squirrel? Is some fuzzy lil' guy out there looking for a pat on the head?"
"NO!" Dipper involuntarily yelled, nearly blowing the whole diversion. "Ackpth! I mean...hey, while you're up there, how about you...um...why don't you...uh...sing me a song? Yeah! How about a song?"
He didn't even have to give her a reason. She tossed back her head and obligingly broke out into improvised singsong. "Ohhhhhh she's Maaaabelllll! A girl who doesn't need a laaaabelllll! She can do so much more than a taaaabllllle! She's always ready and aaaabllllle! If she was a horse her name would be Neigh-belllll…..."
The distraction couldn't have worked any better. The girl caterwauled so loudly for her anxious audience of one that she couldn't hear Wendy sneaking up over from the other side of the roof. After using every bit of stealth she could muster up to get within range, the teenager lunged forward and snagged her by the back of her bright magenta sweater. "Gotcha!"
Mabel turned around, took one look with her heavily dilated eyes and then launched her entire body with inhuman strength. Wendy fell hard with a pained grunt as the wooden shingles dug deep into her back. It felt like she had just taken a cannonball to the stomach.
"WENDYWENDYWENDYYYYYY!" The young girl yelled in one breath, and the stream of rapid chatter started up afresh. "Hey there, girl! You up here for a roof party? A roofarty? Hahahahaha! Farty! Get it? Like from a butt!"
The dangerously hyperactive girl laughed her head off as Wendy staggered back up to her feet and dragged her all the way back towards the small rooftop door. By the time she began to awkwardly descend into the gift shop, Dipper had already been waiting for at least a full minute, along with their portly friend.
"You dudes okay?" Soos stood with arms stretched at the ready just in case either of the girls fell.
"We're good." The teen panted reassuringly. She slowly went down the ladder one rung at a time. "I think we're-"
"Heya Soos! What's up? How's it hangin'? DIPPER! How've you been?" Mabel rattled their ears with a shrill squeal of delight, acting as if it had already been ages since she had last laid eyes on her brother. Without a moment's delay she flew out of the redhead's grasp and towards her twin.
Two things immediately happened, neither of which were particularly pleasant. Dipper now found himself bearing her full weight as she jumped right into his skinny arms. This uncomfortable burden however was nothing compared to what Wendy abruptly had to endure. It suddenly felt like someone had just forced a red-hot crown on top of her head. A shriek of pain ripped from her throat.
"Oh man, you okay?" Soos hurriedly helped her the rest of the way down.
"What? What?" Dipper gasped as Mabel hugged his neck tightly. "What happened?"
"Stop! Stopmovingstopmoving! DIPPER, STOP!" His secret crush hollered at the top of her lungs. Dipper immediately locked his quaking legs in place. While he trembled beneath the load of his identical twin, he quickly spotted the cause of the newfound trouble. The ends of Wendy's long copper hair had been braided tightly into a certain someone's chocolate locks.
"Mabel?" Dipper croaked in astonishment. "Did you do all that while-"
"Uh-huh! You bet your butt I did!" Mabel proudly took credit for her incredible styling feat. "Now Mabel has a brother AND a sister! A hair-sister! Hair sisters for life, ridin' the braid train together! Whoo whoo! All aboard! Whoo whoooooo!"
She started to tug furiously on an imaginary whistle. The others passed one another befuddled looks.
"... I don't know about you, but that's actually pretty awesome-" Soos honestly remarked.
"SOOS!" The others barked back ill-temperedly.
"Well it is crazy impressive handiwork. Just sayin'." He muttered ruefully. Dipper rolled his eyes and hastily worked his nimble mind. They needed a way out of this, and fast.
"All right," He had already begun to go a little flush under the strain of his load. "I have an idea. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to put her down-"
"Don't." Wendy reflexively begged. Her scalp still ached like mad.
"We'll try and be quick." He hurriedly explained. "It should only take me a few seconds. Wendy, you take Mabel. Soos, you go grab a pair of scissors, okay?"
Soos nodded and flashed a stern thumbs-up. Wendy did have to admit, she was desperately short on good options at the moment. She took a hard swallow and nodded trustingly. "Make it quick."
Dipper gently handed off his abnormally hyperactive sister. He gestured to Soos, and the two hurriedly booked it out of the room. With a happy cry, Mabel slipped out of her teenage friend's grasp like water. Wendy yelped and tried to nab her back, but she bounced about as if she had springs for feet. Even though they were attached at the head, the little brunette was surprisingly hard to catch.
"Mabel, c'mon!" Wendy snapped. "Stay still!"
"This is great! We should do this all the time!" Mabel suggested. "Y'know, girl time! No stupid dumb boys or anything like that grossing everything up! Just whatever we want! We can watch movies, do each other's hair, truth or dare, or…or even just run around! Yeah, we can have our own races! Girl time races! Like this!"
"No!" Not surprisingly, Wendy's protests were fruitless. Her hyperactive friend was off like a shot, giving her no choice but to run back and forth across the gift shop or risk getting her hair tugged out by the roots. The others were only gone for less than a minute, but by the time the boys breathlessly returned, the girls were already on their fifteenth lap.
"I'm winning!" Mabel cheered as she kept ahead of the gasping teen, fueled by seemingly endless energy reserves. "Winner! Winner right here! Winner winner, chicken dinner!"
"Dude, you gotta pick up the pace if you want a shot!" Soos tried to be supportive of his friend.
"NOT HELPING!" The teen yelled angrily. He quickly remembered his mission, and hurriedly handed off a pair of scissors. Dipper meanwhile bravely stepped in the way.
"STOP!" He cried.
Mabel ground to a halt. While waiting for a reply she jumped incessantly from foot to foot. The pint-sized preteen wasn't even winded in the slightest. "What? What is it now? Hey, do you want to race too? Huh? Do you? C'mon, let's do it! Let's do it, brother! You and me, one on one, mano-a-womano! Race race race! Clash of the siblings! This time around the whoooole downstairs! No, all around the Shack! No, all around the town! No wait, all around-"
"Or!" Dipper hurriedly cut her off. "Or could try a different game It'll be...uh, a contest!"
Wendy took full advantage of the respite and snipped away furiously at her long locks as the boy explained. "I bet that I can count all the vowels in the phonebook faster than you can-"
"Ha! In your dreams, Dipper!" Mabel excitedly ripped the hefty book out of his hands. "It just so happens that I'm awesome at counting! I'm a champ at counting! I'm the Countess of Counting! The Countess of Counting who counters...uh...dumb braggy stinkity stinkfaces like you! Yeah!"
Wendy had just freed herself from her braided bond when her former captor tucked her legs and dropped to the floor. Mabel's finger started to race down the first page of the directory as she intently counted away. The girl was absolutely determined win the made-up competition. Now that she was sufficiently distracted, the chaos finally came to a sorely needed end.
"You all right?" Dipper wasted little time before he began to fuss over his crush. Wendy shrugged as she examined the frayed tips of her hair, and glanced over to the shredded copper strands still bound up in Mabel's chocolate locks.
"Yeah...I think. J-just...just gimme a..." She practically collapsed against the counter in an exhausted heap. Dipper tore over to the cooler and fished out an ice pop. The teen nodded thankfully and pressed it up against her burning brow with a sigh of relief. "Thanks."
"No problem." Dipper automatically went a little flush.
It was high time for a grossly overdue apology. Soos was guilt personified as he shuffled his feet and worked up the courage. "Dudes I…I don't even know where to begin. I'm like, crazy sorry. I had no idea that she'd go crazy bonkers like this. All she asked for was a taste. I had no idea things would get so nuts. Dudes, I'm sorry!"
"Well...we didn't know." Dipper decided to let him off gently. It was hard to stay angry at the teddy bear of a man, especially since he was practically dripping with remorse. Panting hard, Wendy nodded forgivingly, even though she couldn't tell if she was being honest or if she was simply too exhausted to be upset.
Now that he had been exonerated, a wan grin crept to Soos's face. He then hurriedly set about doing his best to right his accidental wrong. Moving fast, he grabbed a travel mug from the counter, doubled-timed it towards the window and unceremoniously dumped out every last drop of its dark brown contents.
"So...no more coffee for her, right?" He double-checked. Dipper never felt so sure of anything in his entire life as he watched his caffeine-stricken twin furiously count away.
"I think it's pretty safe to say yes on this..."