Skye was curled up against Jemma. The biochemists hands were wrapped around the middle of the taller girls waist and Skye's head was laying on her chest. Jemma always held Skye at night. When they started dating it was different. It was Jemma who wanted the others arms around her. But without Skye in her arms she couldn't sleep well at night, so she figured out. She started worrying. Started thinking that something is wrong or that something bad is going to happen.

Jemma couldn't deal with the anxiety when Skye was on a mission. When Skye was out and she didn't know what happened at this very moment with her she just couldn't work properly. She shattered samples, she forgot things, she wrote the wrong things down on her paper. Fitz often assured her that nothing would happen and that Skye would come back whole, as always, but Jemma wasn't able to get rid of the feeling of losing Skye. She couldn't recall when she got those panic attacks. Probably since Sky'es first near death experience. It wasn't her last. Things went wrong and with that the worries came. Sure, they did all the could to keep their team save, but sometimes it was not enough. The second time she was so very close to losing Skye was when they had tried to drown her in the ocean by tieing rocks to her feet. If the team had found her a second later... Jemma closed her eyes. She was thinking about it again. And she wasn't sure how Skye could sleep so well with all the pain in her past. She admired the hacker for that. In fact, she admired Skye for her whole being. She loved the way Skye lingered in a kiss. She loved how Skye knew exactly where to put her hands to make her brain shut down. Skye broke all Jemma's rules, and she let her. Jemma ran her hands through the girl's hair, and was grateful to have her.

The following morning Skye left for another mission. Simmons held her tightly as they hugged and she struggled to let her go. Everyday it seemed harder to let her go, actually.

„I'll come back in one piece, I promise baby" she smiled and kissed the Brits forehead.

„I really hope so" Jemma replied, looking in the taller woman's eyes before kissing her gently.

Skye never knew why, but somehow she found herself thinking that those goodbye kisses are the most intense they shared. It was another kind of intimate. Her lips said „promise me you'll be okay" and Skye's replied „I promise I promise" over and over until they gasped for air.

As Skye turned around to leave she didn't miss the look on the girls face. It broke her heart to see the sadness here but she did love her job. Knowing, that she would soon have the scientist in her arms again she left.

Skye got kidnapped. In a cold freezing room they tortured her and let her nearly die. She was already passed out as Ward found her and brought her to the bus, where she was now on all kind of tubes, strings attached on her arm. She wasn't close to waking up.

And Jemma couldn't take it anymore. She had known it would happen, and she knew it would happen again if Skye... survived. Not once did the scientist visit the other girl.

Coulson, Ward, Fitz and even May told her she was wanted by the hacker, she should already visit her since she can't do it herself but Jemma didn't show up. Until...

Coulson came in her lab, speaking with the voice that made clear that "no" wasn't an answer he'd take, and said „You are going to visit your girlfriend, now. This is an order."

Jemma showed up. And Skye felt her heart shatter. She wanted to kiss the British girl again, she wanted her, she needed her. But Jemma's eyes said nothing. She looked tired and exhausted.

Jemma took Skye's hand in hers and her thumb gently stroke over the soft, but still bruised skin.

„Jemma ….."

„Skye."

„I missed you so much" she didn't know what else to say. She just stood there and held her hand.

„Yeah" there was no emotion in her words.

She didn't look at Skye as she spoke the following words.

„I can't keep doing this Skye. I tried, and I have no explanation on why this feeling keeps appearing but it's there and it doesn't seem to go away." She looked at their intertwined fingers.

„I love you so much Skye. I do. And I will. But I can't keep living like this. I never know if you'll come back alive, and it makes me crazy. I don't want you to do this..."

„But it's my job." Skye still tried to process all she just heard

„I know. I don't want you to give SHIELD up."

„Then what do you want Jemma? I try my best to be save at missions, but things happen, I'm sorry, that it hurts you. I really am, but look, after all, I'm still here" She tugged on Jemma's arm, tried to pull her closer, she hesitated at first but then she leaned in, her face mere inches from Skye's apart.

„Seems like I have a guardian angel" Skye said, her eyes trailing off to Jemma's lips.

„Maybe"

They both opened their mouths to meet in a heavy kiss. While Jemma's hands came up to Skye's face, one in her hair and the other one on her cheek. Skye's hands found her way to Jemma's back, and then to her cheeks, wanting to pull her closer. They breathed heavily, their tongues met somewhere but lost each other as they went exploring each others mouths once more.

„Maybe you have one" she said tugging on Sykes bottom lip. „But I can't risk it, Skye" She kissed her once more.

„I am so sorry, I'm so sorry"

„What for?" Skye questioned as she opened her eyes. She saw the british girl crying. But instead of answering she kissed her again and again, and then many hours of crying and kissing, they both fell asleep on the small bed. Jemma kept apologizing, and Skye just tried to kiss it better.

As she woke up the next morning, Jemma was gone.

She remembered the following night and got a sick feeling in her stomach.

Her gaze fell to her arm, and she saw that something was written there. Across her left arm, the words in Jemma's handwriting said:

„I love you until we're no longer made of atoms"

Skye searched for Jemma. Everywhere.

Coulson needed her to speak with her. In his office.

„Skye, sit down.." he said

„Why, have I done something wrong?"

„Just sit down please"

She did as said

„Jemma Simmons left SHIELD. She won't come back"

Skye found family in her team. But more important, she found love there. She got the gift of being loved, against all odds. She could write love poems about Jemma. She never told her that sometimes she dreamt about having a family with her and sending Coulson postcards from vacations with their little son. She was left thinking about the things she never told her. She was left with unspoken hopes, fears, love confessions, dreams. It all faded as Coulson said the words.

She won't come back.

Her scientist would never come back. And she didn't know where to find her.

Skye didn't want the writing on her arm to fade, but it did. She was scared the memories with Jemma would fade too, but it didn't seem like it.

10 years later.

They landed in Atlanta and they were supposed to stay there for ten weeks.

Skye was supposed to do paperwork with one of the guys in Atlanta. His name was Jeffrey and he worked in one of the labs. SHIELD and the Atlanta labs worked kind of together for this project they were working on, and Skye was happy about it because she easily got friends with Jeffrey. He got her sarcastic answers and they laughed a lot. Skye just bought a box full of donuts for him and his team. Just because she was in the mood to buy a dozen donuts.

The building where he worked in was really big and Skye didn't quite know which way to go, so she stumbled through different corridors in hope to find the door with a huge glass front. She was so in thought that she crashed into someone, which nearly caused her to let her donuts drop. Luckily she reacted quickly enough to not let them drop, but the woman in a white lab coat dropped all her papers she was carrying with her. Quickly Skye got to her knees and helped collect them.

„Bloody hell, I'm so sorry"

Those words caused her to look up. And even if she'd be blind she'd recognize that voice in a hundred life times. But the other woman didn't even look at her, instead she rushed to get her papers together and stood up. But then their eyes finally met and neither could believe it. Skye saw Jemma's eyes widen and Skye herself could not form a proper sentence

„Skye"

The hackers eyes filled with tears. All the years she wanted to see her again and now she was right in front of her but she couldn't say anything.

Instead they found themselves in a tight hug. And holding on to one another as if their lifes would depend on that one hug.

And somehow they ended up in Jemma's little apartment, eating Chinese noodles, they bought in a restaurant around the corner, on the small kitchen table. Jemma didn't talk much, and Skye neither, but she wanted to, she should be the one mad. She should be shouting at Jemma why she left her, but the truth is she knows. She knows that Jemma wasn't able to deal with the thought of losing her. But together they'd figured this out, Skye was so sure.

Jemma doesn't look much different. Her light blue button down shirt was tugged in her jeans and she wore a black blazer. Casual. Skye couldn't help but think that Jemma's still the most sexiest person she's ever been with. Sure they were boys and girls, who had good features on their bodies. But she hadn't met someone with such an appealing mind. And still, Jemma managed to blow Skye's mind.

They had finished their food and Skye stood up to head home.

"I think I'm going to go now" Skye said standing in the door frame between kitchen and living room.

It hurt her to say this and she hoped indeed that Jemma would hold her back. And she did.

"Skye..."she looked at the floor, almost as if she was uncomfortable with what she was going to say next.

"Don't you want to stay a little longer? There's so much... I want to say to you and... I'm interested in how you've been doing lately. But if not, that's -"

"Of course I want to stay, Jemma"

Their eyes met and instantly there was that sparkle again. After all, their chemistry didn't fade.

Weird, Skye thought. How is it possible to feel the fire after years of rain? And how is it possible to not realize that is has been raining the whole time and all you needed to find was a spark that lights a fire?

Jemma smiled lightly. "Do you want something stronger to drink ?"

They settled on the couch in the small living room. Every wall was hidden from bookshelves, who were all filled. Paper sheets were laying on the shelves between books and you could see many books with post-its sticking out.

Yes, this was definitely Jemma Simmons apartment.

Jemma took a sip of her red wine and Skye did the same with her beer.

The british woman felt a bit of pressure on how to find the right thing to say, because she wanted to have the other woman with her, so she had to say something, but she couldn't think of anything to say, despite she planned this moment for so long. Many nights she'd been awake and thinking about this very moment and now she just couldn't say something.

She cleared her throat. "I've planned this moment a lot actually." She quickly glanced over to Skye

"But now I can't really think of anything to say" she quietly admitted

"Yeah me too" she said and placed her beer on the coffee table

After a moment of silence Skye questioned with a shaky voice "Why did you leave ?"

Even though she knew the answer she wanted to hear it from Jemma, she wanted the scientist to say that she left and with that their future Skye had hoped on having. She remembered thinking of a future with a large house and kids and a job on SHIELD and her wife Jemma. Some nights she had even planned on how to propose though marriage had been far, far away at this point. But it turned out differently. In the team Skye found family. But in Jemma she also found home and shelter. She remembered kissing her and thinking This is were I want to be. This is home.

"I couldn't bear losing you anymore. It was selfish, I know. I often thought about going back. But the kind of attached I was to you, wasn't healthy. I was pathetic. I thought it was the best for us. For my own mental health and for you... I told myself that it didn't work out because we're so different , but I know I was just lying to myself. I have no excuse, nor an explanation for why I left" she looked at the glass of wine in her hands, and the last words sounded like she was about to cry. And when Skye was honest she wanted to, too.

There was another pause of silence and then Jemma asked Skye to tell her something about SHIELD, how it was going, what they've been up to. And so the chatted along, both telling about their work and how they lived their lifes now and they shared laughter and they discovered that the other one still had the same habits as ten years ago. Like the absent look Jemma had on her face when she tried to remember something or the way Skye perked her eyebrows up when she couldn't believe something. And eventually Skye took a look at the watch who was hanging above a bookshelf and noticed that it was nearly midnight.

"Oh crap sorry Jemma I didn't want to bother you this long."

"Oh no, it's fine, no need to apologise"

"Well better I get going" she stood up and walked in the kitchen to grab her jacket

Jemma followed her to the door and just as Skye was about to open the door she turned around to Jemma.

"I actually forgot to do something" she said and gathered all her courage to walk over to Jemma, to close the space between them, to cup Jemma's face and to kiss her.

It was supposed to be a short kiss, afterall Skye didn't know how Jemma would react to it. But neither of them pulled away. They sucked on each others lip, moaned in each others mouths and soon the biochemist was pressed against the wall with Skye's lips on her neck. She wrapped her arms around the taller girls neck, in need for support because her legs weren't working properly anymore. One of Skye's hands slipped under the hem of her button down shirt and caressed the soft , soft skin underneath it.

"Oh god " Jemma said as she felt the other womans hand on her hip. Jemma wanted to turn this game around and placed her hand on her neck and started to gently bite the sensible skin there. A moan escaped the hactivists lips and Jemma smiled against her neck.

Apparently this was a sign for Skye then her hands started to unbutton her shirt as fast as she could. Which was a bit difficult because Jemma didn't stop kissing her. She tossed the shirt to the ground and mumbled in the brits hair "Maybe we should take this to another room"

Since Skye didn't know where exactly her bedroom was she opened random doors, because Jemma was too busy kissing and biting her. She opened another door, but it turned out that this was the bathroom she sighed and said "Maybe we should just do it in the shower, huh ? Like we used to"

"Don't be silly " Jemma giggled and guided her to her bedroom, the only door Skye hadn't opened yet. It was always like this. If you're searching for something the last ting you look at turns out to be what you wanted.

Skye got quickly rid of her T-shirt and tossed it in the corner while guiding Jemma towards the bed.

She let herself fall on her back and then there was the taller girl on top of her. She just wanted to pull her in for a kiss, but Skye stopped in her movements. "Is something wrong?" Jemma questioned suddenly concerned.

"No, actually...you're beautiful Jemma Simmons"

And sooo they made love. Placing kisses in places they've never thought would be touched by the other ever again. Hands who knew very well where they have to be to drive the other one insane and moans so precious that all the best melodies were nothing compared to them. In moments like this you know for whom you're made. That your hand doesn't fit for nothing in the curve of her neck. That you're meant for each other and no one else.

Just as Jemma was nearly about to lose it, they both reached for each others hand. It was more like their old habit than an actual need, though Jemma needed very much something to hold on to .

As they first slept together Jemma had been a little scared and she had asked Skye to hold her hand while she got down on her. And since then Jemma always had laced their hands together. It gave her safety but she also loved the touch and the squeezing of her hand.

Skye woke up as the first rays of sunlight fell through the blinds. The british womans head laid on her chest and she had her arm draped across Skye's stomach. Skye immediately smiled. She drew circles with her thumb on the other womans arm and watched how her eyes fluttered open.

"Morning baby" she said looking deep into Jemma's eyes. Even tough that was their first time after 10 years together it still felt familiar, like it was meant to be. Jemma blushed and buried her face in Skye's neck

"Good Morning" she hummed into her skin. Skye brought a hand to Jemma's back and Jemma moved her kisses to her collar bones .

"Why aren't you in a relationship?" Jemma asked after a while.

"Huh?"

She lifted her head "You are a really attractive woman, I'm sure anyone would be lucky to have you"

Skye moved her hand up and down Jemma's back while she thought about that question

"Well, I did.. have relationships and it was nice but.." she trailed off and looked at the desk in front of her, where papers were stacked and books were laying around.

"...something was missing" and when she really thought about it, something had been missing. She never knew what it was , she always thought it had been her, but she felt it. She felt everything falling in place and Jemma's thumbs stroking her sides made her want to just stay like this forever.

"Yeah"

"What about you, any past lovers I should be jealous of?" she smirked and pecked the biochemist on the head.

"Well, there was someone, it didn't work out though, but I like our memories, it was lovely to be with him. We had a lot in common, actually. "

"Then why didn't it work out?" Skye asked, not sure if she really wanted to hear the answer.

Jemma lifted her head and lowered her head, just enough to let Skye feel her breath on her lips.

"Something was missing, Skye"

Skye felt goosebumps appearing on her body. And she closed the distance between them and pulled Jemma in for another kiss. Hot and sweaty. Jemma's hands moving to cup her face and as the pulled apart the smaller woman rested her head on the other woman's forehead "I don't want you to leave anymore Skye, I was stupid, but I love you. I love you so much, I thought my love for you...would fade but it never did"

"I know Jemma"

They had fallen asleep one more time and as Jemma woke up again there was no one laying next to her and she thought that she may had just dreamed Skye and her bumping together but the she saw something written on her arm that said:

Until my firewall gets shattered

A/N

i needed to write an agents of shield fanfiction because, well if no ones gonna update their fics then i have to write one, also english is not my first language so im sorry = (

and of course nobody will ever be able to shatter skye's firewall so...