I don't own Hetalia or the characters used in this story.
Life is difficult when people don't know you would push, shove and walk their way right through me, as if I was invisible. Thats why I enjoy floating in the school's old pool. The water reminds me that I DO exist and am not invisible, it has to go around me and conform to me not the other way around. You're probably wondering why I have these self- deprecating thoughts.
My name is Matthew Williams, and ever since I could remember I was soft-spoken and ignored. My older twin, Alfred Jones, always is more noticed than me. He's brash,loud, and annoying; but he's also a kind person, a great athlete, and completely unlike me. I don't hate my brother, really i don't. I just wish at least one person noticed me besides my brother.
It was around six o'clock when I left my personal heaven. I changed back into my overly large faded red sweatshirt and baggy torn jeans. I tried in vain to tame my curled blonde locks and covered my violet eyes in rounded, crooked glasses. All the while not noticing a pair of blood red eyes staring at me from the corner in the locker room.
When i finally opened the door to my house it was completely quiet. This never happens, usually the house is filled with the yells of Alfred's friends or the sounds of some new video game. Al's car is in the drive so he has to be homme. Walking the path to my brother's room, I think of reasons why there is no noise. Maybe he's asleep,or he's working on homework. HA, like that'd ever happen. Oh god, what if he's watching porn. Before I realize, I'm standing at his door. Through the door I can hear two people talking quietly, can't hear what they're saying though. As I open the door I can hear a muffled moan. OH fuck he's got some girl in there. Too late I realize what I'm about to walk into- "A-Al you o-okay."
The door fully opens and I freeze . My brother's on his bed, shirt on the floor and in the process of taking off someone else's shirt. That doesn't make me freeze, no what makes me freeze is that the person under him is a guy. I can feel a blush overtake my face and travel down my neck. Al separates with the mystery man and i can see it's Arthur Kirkland, the school president. What the fuck.
"H-Hey Mattie, I didn't think you'd be home so early." Alfred's face is painted red with embarrassment, he scratches the back of his head, a nervous tick he picked up from our father.
"Al, it's 6:30." I'm still reeling about his newfound sexuality. "Oh damn is it really, shit Artie you need to be home at 7." My brother and Arthur gather their stuff and rush downstairs."Mattie we'll talk later." My brother throws over his shoulder as he's leaving the house.
About 30 minutes later I sit patiently on my bed waiting for my brother. "hey mattie, you still there?". Well you know what happens when you speak of the devil . "Yeah Al. You ready to talk?". The door opens revealing my bro's sheepish smile.
Can you say awkward. Me and Al are sitting on my bed looking everywhere but each other. Well, someone's got to start this talk and doubt it will be Al. "So, Arthur kirkland. I thought you didn't like him." Al's blue eyes locked with mine.
"I didn't. I mean we fought all the time over everything and anything. Then Mrs. Edelstein made us work together on a project. As we spent more time together i noticed how cute he was when he blushed and how much fun he can be when he's not being so damn stubborn. On the last day of the project we were fighting over some stupid thing , and I remember thinking how much i wanted to kiss him. So I did." At this point his head was in his hands and he was wringing his honey blonde hair through his fingers. "God Mattie I thought i blew it. He took one look at me and then just left. He didn't talk to me for three days, he avoided me art school. I thought it was over. On the 4th day he came up to me in the library and kissed me. And we've been dating for 6 months." He finished his tale with his head held high and a spark in his eye.
"Okay, but why don't I see you two together at school?" Aw, I just killed that sparkle. "Arthur's a very private person and doesn't like public displays. And he feels like he won't be able to talk to people around me; he says that he'll be too embarrassed." Al didn't look too happy about that though. "Are you okay with that Alfie?"
"Well what else can I do. I don't want to pressure him, I can't lose him, I love him too much. Wait you don't seem to care too much about the fact that I'm gay, Are you gay?" Am I gay. That's a tough question, I've never really thought about it.
"I don't really know, probably. I just don't know, and I'll never know because no one know's I exist." I could feel the insecurities creeping in on me. Alfred starts frowning, he hates it when I belittle myself. "Mattie you know how much i hate i when you say those things. People just haven't found out how incredible you are." He came in front and kneeled down to my face, he pushed my hair behind my ears. Isn't he just such a nice brother sometimes, I almost forget how annoying he can get. Suddenly a sly smirk grew across his face. Oh no this can not be good.
"What about that kid our math class. The one who sits in the back , yanno the one you can't keep your eyes off of." I could feel the blush overtake my face. "You mean G-G-G-Gilbert," a nod "Well I-I-I- he's hot b-b-but why would he look at me. H-He's awesome and I-I'm a nobody. Hey Al, I'm kinda tired."
"Alright, Mattie you win this time. Just try and talk to him, he may like you back." Fat chance, who would want to be with a nobody.
Throughout school the next day i didn't follow Al's advice, I was too scared to have my one fantasy ripped from me. I did notice that Gilbert seemed to be looking at me through the day. Probably just wishful thinking.
Gilbert Beilschmidt; snow white hair, death pale skin, and blood red eyes due to the mutation of albinism. He and his younger brother Ludwig, moved her 5 years ago from Germany when their father got a job as the school's Vice Principal. Gilbert's a year above me, but his brother's in my year, he's just under 6ft. WEll muscled and athletic, he is so far out of my reach I don't know why i even think about it.
When the school day came to a close , I slunk to my heaven. As I lay afloat in the middle of the pool in my maple leaf trunks, I contemplated life, love, and things around me. So deep in my contemplation I didn't hear the pool doors opening and a person walking and sitting on the bleachers.
What felt like no time at all, when in actuality it was 5 hours, my body said it was time to get out of the pool. I could literally feel the prunes on my fingers and toes. With one final dive to the bottom of the pool, I approached the ladder at the end of the pool.
"Do you Alvays spend zo much time in here?" a voice said loudly in front of me. I was so shocked I lost my grip on the ladder and fell into the pool. When I surfaces I heard laughter coming from the person in the darkness. "Keseseses, are you alvays zo much of a budder finger?"
without my glasses all I could see was a black and white blob. I hurried out of the water and shoved my glasses on. Oh god, it's Gilbert. What the hell is he doing here, talking to me! "G-Giblert!" A huge blush spread my whole body as i remembered my state of undress. The polar bear towel I brought with me made its way over my body. "Ja, that's ze awzome me. You didn't ansver my question Birdie, Do you alvays spend time in here?"
"U-Um, U-U-Usually I-I stay l-londer." my hands were busy tearing the towel to bits. Gilbert had thoughtful look on his face as he peered out into the pool. "Vy are you in ze pool in the first place?" I can't answer that, if I do you will think I'm weird. "I-I u-u-um-u-uh I-I need to go." In my hurry to leave the area I slipped on a puddle and started falling into the pool. I felt an arm wrap itself around my waist, my eyes snapped open and locked onto the red orbs above me. Then all I saw was water.
When I broke the surface Gilbert was staring right at me. I stares at him, he stared at me, and then I lost it. I don't think I've laughed that hard since I was a child. When we caught our breaths, he took my face into his hands and got really close.
"Birdie, vill you go out vit me?"
"Hey vhat are you thinkin' zo hard about?" a voice to my left snapped me out of my thinking. "Just thinking about the first time you asked me out." A light dust of pink spread across pale cheeks. "Still can't believe you said no the first time." During our conversation a pale, slightly marred and wrinkled hand met mine over the gear stick of the car. yeah it's been a great 32 years with Gil, after the second time he asked me out I said yes and haven't been able to get rid of him yet. Gil and I eloped in Canada after graduating High school, Al and Arthur followed a year later, and we've been married ever since. It hasn't been an easy 30 plus years but it has been fun. Right now we are headed out to Al and Arthur's house for a reunion with their kids and our friends. AL and Artie decided to have 3 kids and ended up with 6 grandkids and counting.
We decided against having kids, but that doesn't make our life any less boring. We decided to run a horse ranch for troubled teens. Kinda cliche but Gil figures with his history he can help them reach the inner peace he has found with me, sappy I know but thats what he says.
"Hey birdie, you never did answer my question." We had pulled the truck into Al's drive and Gil turned it off. "What question Gil?" I racked my brain but couldn't think of any unanswered question. "Vy vere you alvays in the pool at high school?" oh that one, I might as well tell him.
"I stayed in the pool because I felt important. People would push and go right through me like I wasn't there. So I went and floated in the pool when I had doubts that I existed. The water couldn't go through me it had to go around me and I realized I was there and did exist." After my confession he gave me a sad smile and softly kissed my lips.
"C'mon lets go face everyone's demon children and catch up with friends." I slapped him on the arm but couldn't help but smile.
Yeah life is hard when people don't think you exist, but when one person does and they stick with you. It doesn't matter that others can't see you because that person does and that's all that matters.