Dedicated to NarutoRox... Hope you all enjoy!
She was leaving me.
My little bird was growing up, leaving the nest, leaving, flying away.
I didn't want her to.
Claire's POV, The Day Before, Wednesday Morning
I raised my hand up to rap gently on the ornate door, but before I had the chance a voice called from within the concealed office telling me to enter. Cautiously I turned the glass knob and stepped quietly into the room, head down. Amelie could get just as moody as Myrnin sometimes.
"You requested to see me," it wasn't really a question or even a statement, just sound coming from elegant lips.
"Yes ma'am," I said raising my eyes to meet hers, waiting for a sign to continue. She let out a bored little sigh and raised one frosted eyebrow in modest annoyance. She knew that I was only being outrageously polite to mock her. Apparently this was one of the times where she found this amusing and made no move to reprimand me so I continued on. "I was wondering if I could request a leave of Morganville for some time to continue my studies at MIT." I bit my lip nervously and my eyes once again fell to the floor.
"Ah yes, I remember this university that which you so wished to attend," she began, then pausing and tilting her head to the side, "I also distinctly remember asking you if that was truly what you wanted. At the time you had been unable to answer that question. I do hope for your own sake that you have had time to ponder such things and come to a reliable conclusion."
"I have made one. I wish to go to school at MIT. There is nothing I want more," I answered simply and exactly, hoping she would see that as the truth.
"Answer carefully this next question then, if you are so sure of yourself and honestly as I already know the answer to it and I find do honesty most amiable. Why the change of heart?" she articulated, those intense grey eyes boring into mine.
"I didn't want to leave Shane behind, but now that that's... over, I have nothing holding me back," I answered.
"And?" Dang, she really did know everything, though how she could know my personal thoughts that had never been voiced was slightly disturbing. Maybe I just talked in my sleep.
"I fear Myrnin. Not that he'll harm me, but that he's um, starting to um, um... starting to see things differently." Was she going to be happy with that answer? Probably not.
"Seeing what exactly, child. I warned you not to lie."
"I-I-I think that he's gotten confused and mixed up and this confusion has to lead to him creating, um... feelings for me," my voice trembled as I told her what I had been suspecting for some time now. She just nodded her head. She knew.
"Thank you Claire. You will leave this Friday at the start of true dawn at approximately seven. I will have a personal escort of mine convoy you to the Dallas International Airport. Your boarding pass will be waiting for your flight to Boston and upon arrival a car will be available to take you to Cambridge. You may pick up your ticket out of town from my assistant Bizzie when you leave my offices today," she said in a bored, flippant manner as if I didn't matter at all to her or to Morganville. I knew that the disregard was forced.
But still, I couldn't believe my ears! Was she really letting me out just like that? When had this become so easy? I needed to double check; perhaps I had only imagined her saying that. "Excuse me? Am I really leaving? Am I going to MIT?"
Amelie stared at me as if I was the most absolutely daft person she had ever ad the misfortune to come across and made no effort to reassure me that I had indeed heard correctly. I just kept staring at her blankly, in some form of shock until a small smile parted her lips and she nodded a quick, brief nod.
OH MY GOD I WAS GOING TO MIT!
Inside I was absolutely jumping for joy! I was finally leaving, finally being able to spend real time outside of these hellish restrictions. I tried to keep a tight lid on my excitement so that Amelie wouldn't give me one of her famous glares, but miserably failed and almost ran over there to hug her. That might have ended badly...
"Alright then! I'll be ready on Friday at seven!" I said with a huge grin on my face, on the verge of bouncing up and down. I don't think I had been this happy in years! I turned to leave, but Amelie's voice called to me, telling me to wait a moment.
"Claire there is one, condition, of sorts that precedes the normal ones which I know you are quite familiar with." I nodded to show that I understood what she meant; I would be able to keep my memories only as long as not a single word or secret was uttered about this town or its peculiar residents with a fatal sun allergy. "You must inform Myrnin of your departure."
My heart sank. That was certainly one job that no one wanted. I knew he would react violently to my abrupt leaving, demanding that I didn't leave and saying that he had the control to keep me here as long as he liked. I also knew that his initial anger and outburst would be met with a far unmatched guilt for one, scaring me and two, a fake one that he was the thing driving me out. This guilt would turn to tears and begging and sorrow and eventually after I was already gone and after days of starving and torturing himself and the hours of making strange and deadly inventions with twisted purposes it would turn to hate. First a self-hatred then a hate directed at me, a hate that would remain there until he proved his superiority to me. That was the Myrnin cycle.
I sighed out loud, showing Amelie how much I really did not want to be the one to tell him, but I knew I would have to. "Fine, but he's not going to be happy." My warning rang true, but Amelie already knew the Myrnin cycle even more acutely than I did and she usually prepared for his bizarre actions.
"I am expecting that to be the case," came her cool reply. The ice and utter calm and calculation in that voice showed me that she certainly was working at some master plan. I shuddered and left as quickly as possible, stopping to grab my ticket out of town on my way.
Thursday Afternoon
I walked as slowly as possible to Myrnin's lab, taking extra care to not slosh his favourite coffee around too much that I had picked up as a sort of a half-assed apology. Today I would be telling him that today was my last day for quite possible a good long time. Today was going to be a long day.
"Myrnin," I called out as I walked into the lab, flipping on lights that he always turned off. A quick search showed no sign of him. "Myrnin?" I called out again, more tentatively this time.
"I didn't ask you to bring coffee," came his voice from right behind me. I spun with a startled gasp, I really hated when vampires did this, and would have spilled the drinks had Myrnin not caught them. His voice was flat and wrong and his eyes were dark and sparkling. Not a good sign.
"Can't I just be nice and bring you some because I'm a sweet person?" I asked. He paused for a moment, sipping his caffeinated drink and then shook his head.
"No, you brought it because something's wrong. I can smell it on you. There's something you must do and you don't want to. What's wrong little one?" he surprised me with sudden concern, setting down his coffee and taking up both my hands in his. I looked away, ashamed. I didn't want to let him down. He trusted me.
"I'm leaving," I whispered, impulsively decided to go the blunt way. He froze, his grip tightening on my hands, that dark spark in eyes blazing into a full inferno.
"You mean for the day," it wasn't a question. I shook my head, looking at the ground. I felt his hands release mine and a soft breeze rushing past my right; him running away. "You're going to that useless dump you call a terrible excuse for a school aren't you?"
"Myrnin," I said softly, turning around. He was nervously pacing back and forth across an old, stained rug that already had a line of wear from previous sessions of this. He ignored me and just kept shaking his head, pacing and muttering. Suddenly his head snapped up, eyes begging and pleading with me, telling me that if I had one single scrap of mercy in me that I wouldn't leave him. It was him telling me that he needed me.
"You can't go. I won't let you!" he yelled, but it wasn't angry. It was desperate and frustrated and he began ripping at his hair with his hands and perhaps accidently, perhaps not, slashing himself across the face with his nails. I moved towards him, stilling his hands and begging him to regain control of myself. He just kept violently shaking his head, swinging it back and forth in madness. "No," he growled at me, "Just get out. Get out now. I never want to see you again."
"Myrnin!" I exclaimed, stepping back appalled.
"GET OUT!" It was a thunderous roar and with it he overturned a lab table and sent it and all its glass contents smashing against the bookcases, creating a rainfall of glass shards and damaged books.
I paused by the door where I had entered, frozen still by his outburst, but he then turned on me, eyes a brilliant red and razor sharp fangs bared. I grabbed my bookbag and ran as fast as I could up into the alley and kept jogging until I saw the sign for Lot Street, not even pausing for breath.
Myrnin's POV (Third Person) Thursday Evening
No, this couldn't be happening. It felt like drowning, like starving, like being stuck in a never ending nightmare. He would have rather watched her die than seen her leave Morganville, leave him.
That was him being selfish, his vampire self being selfish. If he couldn't have her no one could. It didn't seem fair that as soon as she dumped that stupid Collins boy she gets to go off and gallivant around with a bunch of fools. She belonged to him!
But she didn't. He knew that. He knew she had done far more than needed to prove herself his equal, to even prove herself the equal of any vampire. Claire was brilliant and daring and brave and very much ruthless when the situation was appropriate, but at the same time sweet and gentle and innocent and compassionate! So much passion locked inside someone so young. She put everything she could give into her work and her studies and simultaneously put the same amount into protecting almost everyone she came across. How the girl managed that was beyond any vampire's knowledge and her length of love and tolerance was shocking and even frightening to them. Claire's compassion made vampires nervous.
And here she was, the most beautiful raw diamond, not needing any polishing to shine so bright and reflect the most delicate of rainbows, all slipping through his fingers. This shouldn't be happening.
She was leaving me.
My little bird was growing up, leaving the nest, leaving, flying away.
I didn't want her to.
He knew she deserved a better life with a community of people to support and respect her for what she was. Claire was truly a natural born leader even though she made every attempt to hide it and blend in. She might have fooled the humans, but the vampires always noticed her. Always.
Myrnin sat in his favourite armchair, tears pouring down his cheeks and he sat and cried and cried and sat because nothing he could do could possible change her mind on staying. And without her, he was nothing. He loved her and loved her so much that he had become dependent upon her presence. Sure, he could survive a long distance relationship, even if only one of friendship, or even go years without seeing her just as long as he knew that before one of them died that they would meet again. He knew Claire never planned on coming back, never planned on keeping in touch. She was a ghost now, one of the many phantoms of Morganville that haunted his existence, leaving behind only a simple weak light in a place where she had once shown so brightly. Myrnin cried.
He loved her.
He loved her.
He cried.
He loved her.
He would die without her.
He loved her.
He had to say his very last and final goodbye.
He had to be honest.
He had to tell or he would spend every day of the rest of his very long life wishing he had.
He loved her.
Claire's POV 6:00, Friday Morning
I was completely packed and ready a full hour early, nervous beyond all doubt, my stomach doing flips over and over and over again.
Eve and Shane and Michael were just finishing up making a final breakfast before I left, but I wasn't very hungry and I didn't feel like facing them. I couldn't really because I lied. I told them I would come back this summer, come back every summer and stay here and work with Myrnin and take some courses and just be here.
I was never coming back.
I didn't have to after all. Amelie had stopped by last night and told me that she would give me a decade to return. After that time had passed and if I had not returned permanently or made immediate plans to do so than my memory of Morganville would be wiped and I was to stay in the outside world forever and never return to my hot, Texas home.
Perhaps after ten years I might have returned to see all my friends and stay and work with Myrnin and publish theories and write essays from here, occasionally travelling about to do seminars or teach a class or two. That I might have done, but that required me to be human.
Amelie had also in fact told me not only about the time limit, but also that within a month of my return then I was to be turned. Turned into a vampire. I really didn't want that. Guess I'm not returning.
I heard Eve's boots clomping up the steps and figured that I had been summoned to say goodbyes more real than they could imagine. I think that Shane knew or at the very least was speculating, but I also knew that Michael and Eve were completely clueless. It kind of broke my heart.
After the break-up Shane and I had found a way to remain close friends and still often talked late into the night; I just couldn't imagine my life without him. He knew me better than anyone else and losing such a big connection to someone was painful.
Breakfast went by much too fast and afterwards while I was helping clean up, Shane pulled me aside.
"You're not coming back are you?" he asked, tears forming in his eyes. I shook my head and whispered never. He immediately yanked me into a huge tight hug and placed a kiss on my forehead. "Be careful out there Claire. We'll miss you very much you know." I nodded.
"I love you, Shane. Make sure you tell them in a few days or so the truth; I don't want them getting all mad because you were hiding it from them. And take care of them alright? Even Michael. I love you guys..." I trailed off at the end and Shane understood; there simply were no words to say to someone you were never going to see again except I love you. We hugged one last time.
"I'm really glad you got out Claire, you deserve it," he said and I nodded my head, trying and failing to stop the tears from running down my cheeks. "Goodbye Claire and good luck. I love you."
Tears going into full mode I rushed through my goodbyes to Michael and Eve, telling them both that I loved them very much and thanking them for the friendship that I had needed so much when I had come here. I also made them swear to stay out of trouble as much as possible and to always protect each other.
After that terrible ordeal, I picked up my luggage (most I had shipped the night before) and opened a portal to city hall. I stepped into the shimmery glitter that only a doorway to another world could give off and after a moment of terrifying weightlessness landed in... Myrnin's lab.
How the hell had that happened?
Frustrated I turned around to try to open another one when strong arms closed around mine, forcing me to drop my stuff and led me over. I looked into Myrnin's eyes, wondering if he really was going to try and kidnap me, but he didn't look crazy at all, in fact quite the opposite. He looked extremely focused and not in the I'm-hungry-and-insane-so-I-will-eat-you-now way either.
"Myrnin I have to go," I said, still annoyed with him from yesterday.
"Wait a moment. There's something I must tell you," he began urgently.
"Well go on then," I shot back.
"Claire... I-I-I'm... I'm in love with you. Deeply and completely in love with you. And that's all," he added quickly, looking ashamed and began to back off. "I just needed to tell you that." I nodded, but something had rung inside me when he said those words and it wasn't anything like a bell. It was more like a fake mirror being shattered and my true self rising through the deep waters of the soul and fighting it's way free. I reached out and caught Myrnin's arm as he turned to leave.
"That's it?" I asked. He looked seriously confused. "No kiss in the rain, no romantic goodbye? I thought you came from a time of chivalry," My voice had a strange tone, teasing, flirting. A look of surprise caught his face and then a huge smile.
"Of course, Madame," he said, bowing low to the ground in a mocking way, his voice slipping into the thicker accent that he had been raised with, "Right this way to your graceful carriage." He took my hand and placed a gentle kiss on my fingers, so light I could barely feel it and winked at me, a wicked grin spreading across his face making him more adorable than usual.
He stood up and suddenly snapped into focus, dropping his casual act. "I'm serious Claire, I love you."
"I know," I said, and I truly did. Thinking back now, it had always been obvious that he had cared for me a great deal, constantly putting his life on line (something vampires rarely did) in order to save mine and always, always apologizing for every imaginable thing done wrong. Myrnin never even apologized to Amelie.
There were more subtle things too, like the way he stopped drinking his meals in front of me all the time, something I had hated oh, so much and how he moved slower when he was around me, acted more human, that feral glint being replaced with respect and affection. In fact, if I hadn't known he was a vampire I could have easily mistaken him for a human. He was just so nice around me, always on his very best behaviour. It was kind of cute really.
And at that moment I realized I was ready to accept him loving me. I didn't love him back, not quite, for it was much, much too soon for that, but I was definitely interested in him and not in a casual way. I too did care a great deal about him and only now did I realize that it was past the point of friendship. I loved him as a friend now and a bit more, but I certainly wasn't ready to admit to him that I loved him despite the fact that these feeling had been brewing for almost a year. I was a cautious sort and this was too much, too fast.
"Myrnin, I care about you, I need you. But I can't... I just-" He cut me off suddenly pressing a finger against my lips in a way that was rather hot. I felt my heart jump in my chest, my pulse racing from the small touch.
"You don't need to say anything Claire, you don't have to feel anything or say anything at all. I love you and I just needed you to know that, but you left me just like everyone else." He sounded so sad, so destroyed and so determined. His finger dropped from my lips and he stood in front of me, still and silent. Silent and hoping. Hoping and waiting.
"I can't say that I'm in love with you Myrnin because it wouldn't be the truth, but I still care, care about you as more than something so casual as friendship... Myrnin... I-" He cut me off again, but this time by pressing his cool lips against mine.
The kiss was hot and sweet and full of a bitter sorrow and unmasked a passion that had been forced into dormancy. I had never felt more alive than that single, sheer, perfect moment when our lips first met. It was bliss.
I pushed against him, wrapping my arms around his neck and twisting my fingers into his tangled, black curls, shivering with pleasure as hi hands gripped my waist, pulling me in tight. I moaned as his tongue slid into my mouth with such skill that I could never hope to match and explored there while his hands roamed relentlessly, wanting to push away that terrible fabric that covered me, but knowing they couldn't. Time stopped and somehow, by accident I managed to glance at the clock.
6:58 am.
Shit, I had to go. Sighing I pulled away, wanting nothing more than to stay in his arms for hours, days, months, years, centuries even. He tensed as I stepped away, and I nervously glanced to the ground. "I have to leave Myrnin, I still have to go," I mumbled.
He lifted my chin and forced me to stare deep into his intense, black gaze, "Promise me, Claire, promise me one thing. Promise me this and I can wait as long as I must. Don't and I'll wait anyways, wait until I die."
"Yes?" I asked, afraid and mesmerized at the same time. I knew that making and keeping his promise would surely be hard and it would most likely give me something I wanted very much while taking away something I needed. Rapture. Love is rapture.
"Promise me you'll come back."
"I will," I said in a very final way, with even a moment's hesitation. I knew I had come back even though those two words were literally my signature on my death sentence, but I was determined to not only abide my them but to thrive under them for I truly couldn't wait until the day I could come back and be with him. "I will, even if it takes me decades, I will come. I will come home." He stared at me for a moment longer, not quite believing that this was at any way possible and then joy came into focus and with it that adorable smile of his and he pulled me into one last kiss that was the seal, binding us to meet again.
"Go," he said, opening a portal for me, "Don't make Amelie mad or she won't let you leave." He paused, holing my face and staring at it a way that was very personal and very intimate a held a look of I true love, "I love you, Claire. Never forget me."
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, tears already forming at the corners of my eyes and stepped backwards through the portal, never breaking contact with my love and fell into all of space and time.
The blackness before the light.
I hope you all enjoyed that bit! Again it was requested by a review going under the name of NarutoRox! Thank them for the idea! If I get 10 review then I'll throw all the names into a far and choose one and that person gets to request a oneshot for themselves! Good luck!
Peace, love and Tacos with some Clyrnin right in there.
XXXX
Evey Claire!