A/N: If you like nice, happy endings, TURN AROUND and stop reading this story at chapter 27. Thank you all for reading and if you like my writing, you may wish to look up the SVULadies group on Yahoo or check out where most of my work, but not all is located. BTW, the title comes from a line of "Hurt" as sung by Johnny Cash: And you can have it all, my empire of dirt…."
Olivia bundled Gillery up and walked beside the wheel chair carrying Alex. They had been alerted that a small crew of news photographers was camped outside the hospital waiting for the first pictures of their daughter.
Mason had arrived to help them get home and to navigate the press that awaited them. He smiled down at Alex as they waited to be wheeled out to the loading area of the hospital. Alex grabbed Olivia's hand and pulled her down for a kiss.
"I love you with all my heart Olivia." She pulled back Gillery's blanket and kissed their daughter's perfect head. "And I adore her."
"And we love and adore you Alex. I've never been happier." She adjusted the bundle of baby, holding her in closer to her chest. "We're a family."
They exited the hospital, stopping to give everyone a chance to photograph the new family. Mason moved behind Olivia to open the car door, and leaned inside to make sure everything was perfectly situated with the car seat.
Olivia turned away from Alex with the baby bundled close while she waited on Mason to finish with the car seat. She was smiling at the crowd and gave a little wave as the first shot rang out, quickly followed by a second and third.
The first shot sliced through Gillery's body before continuing through Olivia's heart. The second shot hit Olivia in the shoulder and the third shot clipped Mason's shoulder.
The bullets propelled Olivia backwards onto Alex. Blood was spewing everywhere, covering Alex who was screaming and trying to staunch the endless flow of blood from both her wife and daughter.
Olivia, who had blood coming out of her mouth, was trying desperately to hold onto their daughter. As medical personnel came rushing out of the hospital, they took first Gillery and then Olivia, who refused to let go of Alex's hand. As she pulled the blonde down to her she managed to whisper, "I love you Alex…."
Her security detail whisked her back inside the hospital as Mason was hurried through the doors of the ER with blood pouring out of his shoulder. His eyes met Alex's and he gave her a slight nod, letting her know he was ok, and would take care of her wife and child.
As agonizing minutes ticked by, Alex had began to pace and was grateful when first Pierre and then her sister arrived. They sat with Alex who hadn't said two words in the last two hours.
A weary looking doctor in scrubs made his way to where they were sitting. Alex looked up.
"Where's Olivia? Where's my wife and child?"
He shook his head. "I'm sorry Gov. Cabot, but your daughter, Gillery, passed away. An organ donor team is waiting to talk with you about harvesting her organs. As for your wife, I don't know how she's doing, but I'll go try and find out." Before she could stop him, he turned and walked away from her.
"S-She's dead? G-Gillery's dead? My baby is dead?" Alex began to shake and scream for Olivia. Caroline and Pierre tried to console her to no avail.
Walking toward them was Mason, his arm in a sling. He welcomed Pierre into his arms and held her for a moment before whispering to her. She looked stricken and then glanced at Caroline who started shaking her head.
"Alex?" The use of her first name coupled by the gentle sound of his voice drew Alex's scared, shocked eyes to his. "Alex…."
"No! No Mason. Don't say it. Please don't say it!"
He gathered her to him as best he could and held her. "I'm sorry but there was just too much damage."
"I want to see her!"
Mason nodded his head and went to arrange the visit. When he came back, he took Alex's hand and helped her to the ER exam room where they'd worked on Olivia. Her body was pale and marred by betadine and angry wounds that had been hurriedly stitched up to allow her to see her wife.
Alex crawled up onto the gurney with Olivia and held her wife. Alex stayed that way for the next hour, ignoring first her sister's request and then Mason's request that she leave Olivia.
She eventually demanded that Gillery be brought to her so they could be together one last time as a family. Mason had strongly objected, but Alex wouldn't back down. The hospital staff tried to be accommodating, but after three hours, they needed the room and Mason had to practically force Alex to leave.
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3 Days Later
Alex was going through the memorial service on autopilot with lots of help from drugs and her sister. She had decided to have both Olivia and Gillery cremated as the thought of having them in the cold ground made her sick.
Elliot was now speaking about Olivia and Alex knew her turn was next. She'd written a heartfelt eulogy to her wife and daughter, but she knew she'd never get through it. Not in her current state. When it was finally her time, she stood up, took three steps and then collapsed. When she next came to, it was night and she was in her bed in the Governor's Mansion. Her sister was sitting in bed next to her, writing thank you notes to those who'd sent flowers.
"They're really dead, aren't they?"
"Yes sweetie, they are."
"Will you take me home?"
"Alex, you are home."
"No, I mean my home in the city. I can't stay here. And please be sure to bring them with us."
"Alex?"
"Gillery and Olivia."
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2 Days later
Mason, Caroline and Alex were all at Alex's old apartment in the city. Alex had signed over executive powers to her Lt. Governor just before they'd left for the city and was now in her bedroom with the urns containing her wife and daughter in bed with her.
Alex had, for the most part, stayed sedated since the memorial service. Huang, Olivet and everybody from her old squad had been by to see her, but she'd refused their visits, citing the need for sleep.
Both Mason and Caroline were so worried about Alex that they took shifts keeping an eye on her.
And so it went for the next 4 days.
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Elliot and Agent Hammond made a visit to see Alex with news about the shooting. Both Mason and Caroline tried to discourage the visit, as Alex had finally left her bedroom for the first time in days.
Alex had heard the buzzer and went to investigate, finding both men having a heated conversation with her sister and Mason.
"If you have news about who did this, please, tell me."
"Alex, it was an inside job. A member of your security detail fixated on you sexually. He found that video tape Robert had of you and Liv, realized you were a lesbian and went ballistic. He set out to destroy you. And he fired the shots that killed Olivia and Gillery. I'm sorry."
Alex turned as though she'd never heard a word he said and went back into the bedroom. They all exchanged worried glances and then Caroline went in search of her sister. She found Alex curled on the bed babbling non-sense and shaking.
She called Huang and he came by and gave her a sedative, letting her know Alex would be out for a good long while.
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When Alex awoke the next morning, she was smiling. Caroline looked at her curiously and asked if she was ok. Alex startled her with her reply.
"Silly, I just had a baby. I'm fine! I'm waiting on Liv to come and get us."
Caroline's heart sank. "Alex, Olivia and Gillery are…dead. They were killed at the hospital."
Alex shook her head. "No they're not."
Caroline tried to reason with her sister who became agitated and started swearing at her. She eventually called both Huang and Olivet who came to examine Alex.
Both agreed that Alex had suffered a break with reality and should be hospitalized immediately.
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6 Months later
Mason made his weekly visit to Alex, who had small bouts of lucidity but for the most part remained locked in her own little world. Today she was rocking back and forth, holding a baby doll and singing.
"Hi Mason! Look at my baby!"
He gave her an indulgent smile. "Yes, she's very pretty."
"She looks like Olivia." She kissed the doll on the forehead. "She's coming to get us."
"That's good Alex. Have you seen your doctor's today?"
Alex frowned. "No. They keep trying to tell me that Olivia and Gillery are gone. They aren't." She held the doll up. "See? Gillery is right here."
Mason did as he'd done every week for the last 6 months; he smiled and nodded his head. Then he made sure Alex had fresh flowers and was clean and well taken care of. He spent most of the day with her and then said his good-bye.
He and Caroline had faithfully visited Alex every week for the last 6 months, finding very little if any progress. The doctor's said the knowledge of what had happened to Olivia and Gillery was too much for her mind to handle.
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1 Year Post Shooting
Alex Cabot was sitting in her private room at the most expensive mental health facility she could be in and she felt like shit. She hated these times, when her mind seemed to work and she knew that Olivia and Gillery were really dead. She muc preferred her world where they were still alive and a happy family. And she could curl up to her doll and pretend it was Gillery.
She didn't like remembering. It made her sad and unhappy. And it made her want to do things to herself, which is why she'd been storing her sleeping meds. And why she pretended to be getting better. As long as they thought she was getting better, they kept her meds coming. When she was out of it, it took less to help her sleep, so they didn't give her as much.
She knew Mason would be visiting today and she knew it would be the last time she would see him. She had enough meds saved up to do the trick, but wanted to say good-bye to Mason and her sister first. She'd already seen her sister and said good-bye.
Now it was Mason's turn.
"Alex! You look so good!"
She hugged him and managed to smile for him.
"I feel good."
They visited for a while and then as he was about to leave, Alex grabbed him and hugged him.
"Mason, you have been like a father to me. My best friend, confidant and keeper of my secrets. I love you and you have served me well." She kissed his cheek. "Thank you."
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Alex Cabot watched him leave and then she watched the sun set as she wrote her good-bye note. She gathered the urns of both her daughter and her wife and placed one on each side of her in the bed. Then she took out the bottle of pills from it's hiding place and took all of them, washing them down with water.
She shut her eyes and let a genuine smile grace her face as she realized that soon, very soon, she would join her family.
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Alexandra Cabot was found dead in her bed the next morning by her nurse. The instruction in her note were for her to be cremated and then for all of their ashes to be sprinkled in Central Park.
The faintest of smiles could be seen on her features.