Title:Coming Back and Coming Home
Author: Xfileschik0805
Distribution: Gossamer, anywhere else ask first please!
Feedback: Please let me know how I'm doing! This is only my fourth story! I will beg if I need to...
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, I'm not getting paid for this...
Dedicated To: All my friends that have endured my crazy X-Files
osession. For Phillip who reads these and tells
me what he thinks; For Jody who doesn't read these,
but still allows me to go crazy about X-Files
around him; For Ruthie and Kayla who I lent some of
my favorite episodes on DVD and returned them spotless;
For Sandra who I put in this for always listening and
making me her great chi tea; and most of all for my
Dad- the one who showed me my first X-Files episode
and got me hooked forever! Thanks everyone!
Coming Back and Coming Home
Dana Scully quietly stepped into the hospital room in which the man she loved now laid, unconscious, in the hard bed. She had been doing this for days, foregoing food and sometimes even sleep to simply sit by his side and hold his hand. He had done the same for her, she knew, when she had been returned after her own abduction. She had felt him nearby, known he had been there, and had pulled through because of the strength he gave her. So she sat now by his side, willing him to come back to her.
She spoke to him. "Mulder. I'm here. I believe that you can hear me, no matter what the doctors say. I know you're in there, somewhere, deep down, trying to come back. Keep trying, Mulder. I…" Tears welled in her eyes. "I need you here. With me." She lightly touched the side of his face, silently cursing the men that had scarred and hurt him so badly.
A knock on the door caused her to look up. Agent Doggett opened the door and entered the room, holding a Styrofoam cup that had steam rising out of it. "I thought you could use a cup of coffee. Or can you have caffeine?" he asked, glancing at Scully's swelled tummy.
Reaching for the cup, she said, "I can, just not a lot at one time. Thanks." She had grown to like Agent Doggett: a long way from the day that she had first day she had met him and thrown water in his face. Since Mulder had been placed in the hospital, Doggett had often brought her food and drinks as she watched over Mulder He had even convinced the doctors to let her sleep in one of the empty rooms near Mulder's room after they had initially refused her. She was also thankful for his concern, but she had to put her foot down every time he tried to convince her to go home… like now, for instance.
"Agent Scully, you've only been home once in the past few days, and that was only to get a few pairs of clothes. Why don't you go home and get some sleep in your own bed? I'll call you if anything happens."
"Agent Doggett," she replied, "I appreciate your concern, but I'm staying here. My mother is coming by later to bring some fresh clothes and take the old ones back to my apartment. I'm not leaving," she finished defiantly. He looked at her for a moment, but he didn't argue back. Whether he didn't argue to simply avoid confrontation or because he didn't want to stir up her sensitive hormones, she wasn't sure. It was probably a little of both. When Doggett finally left her alone with Mulder, she sat for a long time, simply sipping the steaming liquid from the cup in her hands. Halfway through the coffee, she set it aside, unable to feel the effects of the caffeine. She had spent so many nights lying awake worrying about Mulder that the tiny bit of caffeine couldn't compete with her exhaustion. She leaned forward slightly, laying her head next to Mulder's hand, which she grasped tightly. She allowed herself to slip into sleep, knowing that she would be there if anything happened.
She jerked awake at the sound of a door closing. For a moment, she could not remember where she was, but her groggy thoughts soon cleared, and she looked toward the door to the hospital room. A nurse had come in with a large bowl of water and a soft rag. "Sorry, Miss, but I need to clean his face and arms. I won't be long. "Can I do it?" Scully asked quickly. The nurse studied her for a moment, and then nodded. Setting the bowl on a small table, she laid the rag next to it and silently left the room. Scully knew what the woman had been thinking: "How much longer is she going to stay?" Scully's answer: Until Mulder is able to leave the hospital with me. Scully dipped the cloth into the cool water, squeezed out the excess water, and began to gently move the damp rag up and down Mulder's right arm. She did the same with his left arm. As she moved around the bed, she realized that she was getting better at maneuvering her expanding tummy. When she had finished cleaning his left arm, she sank back into the chair at his right side, reaching up to clean his face. She was also realizing how quickly the smallest activities would use up so much of her energy. Dipping and squeezing the rag again, she caressed Mulder's face with it. She lingered for a moment at the scars on his cheeks. She pressed the cool rag to his forehead, which was slightly warm with a low fever. After his temperature had dropped so low and not affected his vitals, it had gone up to just slightly above normal. She imagined that the water in the rag was a cleansing agent, cleansing Mulder's mind of the terrible memories regarding his abduction, and of the coma he was now in. "Come back to me, Mulder," she whispered.
There was a soft knock on the door, and Scully looked up as the person on the other side let herself into the room. Scully gave her mother a weak and tired smile. Her mom smiled back; that is until she saw Mulder in the bed. She had not seen him yet, and Scully knew exactly how her mother felt. A feeling that your heart is sinking, refusing to admit what your mind knows is true: that he may never wake up. Scully's mother stared at Mulder for a long time, looking at the scars on the face of the man that her daughter loved. "He's no better, mom," Scully said, her voice breaking. Maggie Scully put her arms around her daughter, a difficult feat with Scull's growing tummy.
"He's no worse, either, Dana."
"But what if he…"
"Stop right there," her mother interrupted. "He's come out of bad situations before. You told me yourself that he came out of a coma when he was with that Navajo man… what was his name? Alvin something…"
"Albert, mom. Albert Holstein."
"Well, there you go." Scully's mother looked at her as if this were some big breakthrough, or something that should inspire relief. It didn't. In truth, Scully felt worse. She felt nauseous. Of course, that could be a byproduct of her pregnancy.
Scully's mother only stayed for a moment, having set a bag of clothes next to the chair in which Scully kept her vigil. She made sure that her daughter knew to call if she needed anything, and before she left she lightly put her hand on the side of Mulder's face. Then she left Scully alone with Mulder and her thoughts.
One specific thought was one that she had been pushing away for a long time, but one that she could no longer put off. How was she going to tell Mulder about her pregnancy if… no, when… when he woke up? She had given up thinking that she would ever see Mulder again; and when she did get him back, she, along with everyone else, believed him to be dead. When she had heard that he had been exhumed and found to be alive, her pregnancy was the farthest thing from her mind. Now, however, it was the only thing she thought about as she sat next to the hospital bed. What would she say? "Welcome back to life, Mulder. By the way, I'm pregnant with your kid…?" That might scare him back into the coma, she thought.
Scully rubbed her tired eyes and, realizing how dark it had become outside, decided to head toward the room where she slept in the hospital at night. She kissed Mulder lightly on the lips and stepped into the hallway… where she quite literally ran into Agent Doggett. He dropped the bag he had been holding in order to steady Scully, who had nearly fallen over when she had bumped into him. Apparently, the growing child in Scully's tummy did not like the sudden jostling, because he aimed a hard kick to the middle of his mother's stomach. With a surprised look on her face, Scully put her hand on her middle.
"Are you okay!?" exclaimed a very concerned Agent Doggett.
"I'm fine," Scully smiled, rubbing her tummy. "What's in the bag?"
"Oh, right," Doggett said as he leaned over to pick up the bag he had dropped. He had obviously forgotten it when Scully had almost fallen. "I, uh… I got you some food. The fries may be everywhere, but the burger is wrapped up, so it should be intact." He held the bag out to Scully.
How healthy, Scully thought. He was just trying to be nice, though, so she smiled and thanked him. Then she turned away and walked to her room. She knew it was rude, but she felt a 'mood' coming on, she was tired, and she didn't want to be even more rude by snapping at Agent Doggett for no reason. She sat on the hospital bed she would be sleeping in again and opened the fast-food bag. "A ninety-nine cent heart attack," she murmured. Scully ate a few of the fries, most of which had fallen to the bottom of the bag, and most of the chicken sandwich. Eventually she was even too tired to eat, so she threw away the left-over fries and sandwich. With frustration, she realized that she had left her bag of clothes in Mulder's room, so she just slept in her clothes she had worn that day. I feel like crap, so why not look it? she thought. She curled into a ball lying on her side, the only comfortable position these days. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep…
Scully woke up to sunlight streaming through the hospital room window. Looking at the clock on the wall, she was surprised to see that it was already 10:30 in the morning. She maneuvered out of bed and into the hallway, where nurses and doctors were carrying out their duties in full swing. Scully walked the short distance to Mulder's room, noticing that most of the hospital workers had gotten used to her being in the midst of them. Stepping into Mulder's room, she whispered, "Good morning," and kissed him on the cheek. Surprised at the cook feel of his skin, she checked a nearby monitor and saw that his temperature was finally back to normal- a good sign. In a better mood than the night before, Scully lifted the duffel bag, in which her mother had packed some of Scully's essentials, and placed it at the foot of the bed. Six months ago she may have been able to lean over and rummage through the bag while it was still on the floor… but these days? She was lucky if she put on two of the same shoes since she couldn't even see her own feet.
Digging through the now elevated bag, Scully pulled out the things she would need to freshen up. Toothbrush, toothpaste, hair brush, white blouse… Scully mentally checked off the items as she pulled them from within the bag. She was looking for a bottle of medicine she had left at home that her mother had promised to pack when Mulder's morning nurse entered the room. This nurse was much kinder than the night nurse, and Scully got along well with her.
"Good morning, Dana!" the nurse, Chelsea, said. Chelsea was always very cheerful, which made Scully's spirits lift.
"G'morning, Chelsea," Scully said, stifling a yawn.
"Not enough sleep?" Chelsea asked as she checked Mulder's monitors.
"I had plenty. That's what I don't get."
"Well, seeing as your youngin' takes up about half of your energy, you never really can get quite enough sleep. Oh, his fever is gone! That's a good sign. What's wrong?" Chelsea asked, noticing Scully's frantic searching through her bag.
"I was going to take a quick shower to freshen up, but I don't have a towel." Scully looked at Mulder, wondering if she should leave long enough to get a towel from either her apartment or a local store. His fever had broken, which meant he was doing better. But what if he woke up and she wasn't there? Or worse, what if he was getting better right before he became much worse?
Chelsea no doubt noticed Scully's inner turmoil because she said, "I'm sure I can find you an extra towel around here. Be right back!" Before Scully could say a word, Chelsea had shot out the door and was back in five minutes with a fluffy white towel. "Here you go," she said, holding the towel out to Scully.
"You're a lifesaver, Chelsea. Thanks."
"No problem. Oh, and I'm bringing you healthy lunch today. I heard about some of the stuff you ate yesterday, and I won't let you get away with that again today!"
"Chelsea, don't. It's okay. I'm sure Agent Doggett can…"
"Oh, no… Agent Doggett is the one that brought you the fast food and junk in the first place," interrupted Chelsea. "Nope, I'm taking over your lunch today." And with that, Chelsea left.
Scully finished getting together all of the items she needed to freshen up. She took a shower using her own soap and shampoo from home, put on clean clothes, and brushed her teeth and hair. By the time she was finished, it was a quarter 'till twelve. She was towel drying her hair as she sat next to Mulder. She stopped toweling her hair and stared at him for a long time. Scully wished that he would just make some movement, some small gesture to show that he was still in there, and that he was fighting his way back to her. At times she was sure that his eyelids had fluttered or his lips had twitched, but every time she found that she had only imagined it. Scully went back to drying her hair and just as she folded the wet towel to give back to Chelsea, the nurse came through the door carrying a covered tray.
"Soup's on! Literally!" Chelsea announced. She set the tray on the table next to Mulder's bed and uncovered the tray. Sitting on the tray was a bowl of hot chicken noodle soup, crackers, and a salad. "Now you eat while I give your date here his anti-viral treatments for the morning."
Scully did as she was told, enjoying the warmth that spread through her body as she ate the soup. While she ate, she watched the nurse give Mulder the anti-viral medicine through a small needle in his arm. Scully still couldn't believe that Skinner had basically saved Mulder's life by taking him off of life support. Now that she was sure that Mulder had escaped the fate of Billy Miles, Scully felt that little by little her partner was coming back to her. Of course, that was all she would let herself believe. She tried not to think about the possibility that Mulder may never leave the hospital by her side.
Chelsea interrupted Scully's thoughts, saying, "Anything I can bring you, Dana?" The nurse was smiling, but Scully noticed a worried look pass over Chelsea's face.
"I'm fine, Chelsea. Unless you know of a good way to tell someone that you're carrying his child without sending him back into a coma…?"
Chelsea grinned, "Sorry, Dana. I think you're gonna have to figure that out by yourself." She turned to leave, but turned back at the door. "But you know, Dana, if Fox loves you as much as you obviously love him, I think that he'll be as happy as you are about the baby." She gave Scully an encouraging smile and then left the room.
Scully's mind was going into overdrive. Every scenario she played out in her head about telling Mulder about her pregnancy had a flaw. The worst part was that she didn't know exactly how Mulder would react in each situation. There was always a possibility that he would be happy in each one. But she also knew that there was always the possibility that he wouldn't accept the truth, or he would accept it but be unhappy about it. This is giving me a headache, Scully thought. A knock on the door pulled Scully from her thoughts, and she looked towards the door as Agent Doggett walked into the room.
"Now don't give me that look, Agent Scully," he said as Scully began to look defensive. "I'm not here to try to convince you to leave. I just wanted to see if you needed anything. Have you eaten?" he asked, noticing the time. It was 1:30.
"Yes. Chelsea, the morning nurse, brought me some lunch earlier," Scully replied.
"Oh, ok. Good. So uh… how's he doing?" Doggett asked, motioning toward Mulder.
"His fever broke this morning… or during the night. Either way it's gone." Scully smiled in spite of herself.
"So he's getting better. Great. Just make sure you get enough rest yourself, Agent Scully."
"I'm fi…"
"Fine, I know. You always are. I only came by for a second. Sure you don't need anything?"
"I'm sure. Thanks Agent Doggett."
"See you later, Agent Scully," he said, leaving the room.
Scully woke from a light sleep. She glanced around, wondering how long she had been asleep. After Agent Doggett had left, Scully had tried to find something to do to keep her mind from running away with her. She had read a book for a while that her mother packed in the duffel bag, flipped through the channels on the small hospital room TV, and checked Mulder's monitors about ten times every five minutes. As different nurses came through to give Mulder his anti-viral treatments or check his vitals, they had given Scully reassuring smiles. Now, looking out the window, Scully knew that she must have been asleep for a while because it was dark outside and she remembered sunlight before she had fallen asleep. She rolled her neck left and right, trying to get rid of the stiffness.
Scully looked at Mulder, and then glanced at the monitors he was hooked to. No change. She breathed a frustrated sigh, and slipped her hand into Mulder's hand as she had done so many times over the past few days. However, something happened this time that had never happened before. Mulder's hand twitched in her own. Scully's eyes grew wide; she knew she hadn't imagined this movement. In a nervous, frantic whisper, she said, "Mulder?" Looking at Mulder's face, she saw his head turn in the direction of her voice and his eyelids flutter open. He looked at her. For the first time in nearly nine months she was looking into the green and gold eyes of the man that she loved. She wanted to say so many things to him: how much she loved him and had missed him, that she knew that he would come back to her, and, somehow, that she was pregnant with his child. All of the words that she had planned to say to him left her mind as excitement filled her. All she managed to get out was a lame, whispered, "Hi!"
Mulder seemed to study her for a moment then said hoarsely, "Who are you?"
Scully's smile faltered. The tears in her eyes that had been tears of joy turned into tears of frustration and sadness. She once again cursed the men that had done this to Mulder. Now what they had done to him had infected the life that she and Mulder once had, however messed up that lift may be. She opened and closed her mouth a few times trying to find the right words to say to him. She looked at him and noticed the small smile that played on his lips. He was joking. That strange sense of humor that usually made her angry or roll her eyes now made her realize that her Mulder was back.
"Oh my God," Scully half-cried, half-laughed, "don't do that to me." She saw his eyes sparkle like they always did when he teased her. She didn't want to upset him, but she had to know if he remembered anything that had happened to him. "Do you know…" she began, "…do you have any idea what you've been through?"
He searched her eyes for a moment, and answered, "Only what I see in your face."
Scully laid her head on Mulder's chest, listening to his heartbeat strong in his chest. She felt him turn his head toward her and nuzzle her hair. She knew what he was doing, for she had done the same thing when she had been returned after her own abduction. She had found familiar things to hold on to, to bring her back to the world she had been taken from. Now Mulder was doing the same thing. Taking in the feel of her hair and her specific scent, he helped her as much as he was helping himself. He was showing her that he was alive… that he had come back to her. "Anybody miss me?" he said into her hair. Scully laughed through her tears. Suddenly she realized that someone was standing at the door. She shot Agent Doggett a look, and he understood, as anyone would, that this was a private moment, and he had no place there. He left the room, closing the door behind him.
"Scully?" Mulder said. He sounded worried. Scully turned her head toward his face. She was close enough to see the worry in his eyes. "How long?" he asked.
"What?"
"How long have I been gone?"
"Mulder…" Scully was afraid of upsetting him too soon after he had come out of the coma.
"Scully… I have to know." The look in his eyes begged her to tell him the truth.
"It's been about…" she hesitated, but he looked at her expectantly. "Eight months," she finished. Mulder closed his eyes, and a painful look crossed his face.
"What about you?" he asked. She had no idea what he was talking about and gave him a confused look. "Before I… left… you were sick. Was it serious? Are you okay?"
Scully smiled. Even after Mulder had come out of a coma and found out that eight months of his life had been taken away he still worried about her. The bad thing was that she still had not figured out how she was going to tell him about her "condition."
"Scully?" Mulder's voice brought her back to reality.
"I'm… fine," she smiled at her choice of words, but this time she really meant them. "They did find something, but… um… it's… I don't want to put too much on you right after you've come out of a coma, Mulder."
"Just tell me, Scully. I need to know what I've missed."
"Well… I'm…" At that moment a nurse burst through the door. Scully narrowed her eyes, and Mulder smiled at the fiery personality he remembered so well.
"Well, Mr. Mulder," the nurse said, "welcome back to the land of the living."
She has no idea, thought Scully.
"I'll just take a quick blood sample and I'll be out. I need to get it out of his right arm, so if I can just get where you are for a moment Agent Scully?"
Oh, no. Scully thought. This was not how she had pictured Mulder finding out about her pregnancy.
"Agent Scully, please?" the nurse persisted. "I'm sorry, I know it's not easy this far along. Can I help you?"
"No, thanks. I've got it," Scully responded. Struggling slightly, she lifted herself out of the chair and moved to the other side of Mulder's bed. Mulder's eyes never left Scully's stomach. He watched her as she walked around the bed and settled his head back on the pillow, staring at Scully's tummy as the nurse did her job.
"So how are you feeling?" asked the nurse.
"Uh… good… fine," Mulder answered distractedly.
"Any nausea, trouble breathing, pain?"
"No. None."
"Okay, well if you need anything just press the call button on the bed remote control. But I'm sure she'll be at the nurses' station before you can even think about calling," the nurse smiled, gesturing toward Scully. "I don't think I've ever seen a pregnant woman move as fast as she did when anything seemed wrong these past few days." A smile flickered across Mulder's face at this comment, but it was soon replaced with the same blank expression as before. The nurse left the room, and Scully returned to the chair she had vacated earlier.
"Mulder? Look at me." Scully prodded. She waited until his eyes lifted from her tummy to her face. "It's not how I pictured telling you, but…" she sighed, not knowing exactly what to say. "What are you thinking?" she asked.
"I'm thinking…" he said slowly, "that someone is a very lucky man." His eyes went back to Scully's expanded middle.
His comment confused her for a moment. When she realized what he meant, her eyes grew wide. "You think that… You don't really believe that… How dare you!?" Scully stuttered.
"Scully, it's okay. You moved on… I understand."
"You obviously don't understand anything! I searched for you all these months. Nothing else has mattered to me more than finding you. And to think that I'd given up on you and run to someone else… I can't… I don't…" she stopped talking. She didn't know what else to say. Tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her face. "I love you, Mulder," she said finally.
"I'm sorry, Scully. I just… I've been gone for so long and I didn't want to assume… well, I wanted to… but I didn't think that would be fair to you. I don't remember anything about these lost months except that you are all I thought and dreamed about when I was… wherever I was. And I hoped that you were thinking about me, too"
"All the time." Scully replied. She noticed that Mulder's hand nearest her had gotten quite fidgety as he stared at her tummy. She smiled and, picking up Mulder's hand, placed it on her stomach. As Mulder splayed his hand across Scully's tummy, he smiled. She was surprised to find that when Mulder looked up at her there were tears in his eyes. His smile was gone.
"I missed it," he whispered. "I missed it all."
Scully didn't know what to say. She just put her own hand over Mulder's hand that lay on her stomach. Suddenly, the baby kicked. Scully had never seen the particular look on Mulder's face as he was wearing at that moment. A mixture of awe and surprise mingled in his eyes and a large smile broke out on his face. "Wow," he breathed. Then, possessively, he said, "Mine."
"Yours," Scully said. Then she noticed that Mulder's eyelids had begun to droop, and he was trying desperately to stay awake. She replaced his hand on the bed, but did not remove her hand from his. "Sleep, Mulder," she said.
"But I just woke up," he complained childlike.
Scully smiled. "And I'll be right here the next time you wake up, as well." She watched him as he searched her face, committing every aspect of her to memory. Then he closed his eyes and his breathing eventually evened out. He slept; he was not in a coma; he only slept.
A week later the doctors released Mulder from the hospital. The quickness of his recovery perplexed everyone, but Scully wasn't going to argue. He was coming home… well going home… but it felt like he was coming home to her. That's all that mattered to her: he was coming home. She had gone home the night before and gotten a good night's sleep. The next morning, she was showered, dressed, and at the hospital at 7:30 to take Mulder home at 8:00. She parked her car and took her duffel bag out of the trunk. The bag no longer contained her clothes, but Mulder's. As she got to Mulder's floor, she encountered Chelsea in the hallway.
"So your man's going home today," Chelsea stated.
Scully smiled. "Yes, he is. Thanks for everything, Chelsea."
"It's good to see you smiling, now. You didn't do that much when I first met you."
"I didn't have much of a reason to then."
"Oh, Dana, I never got the chance to ask you… how did you finally decide to tell Mulder about your little one?"
Scully began to laugh and told Chelsea that she hadn't really decided anything. She told the nurse what had happened for Mulder to find out, and Chelsea began to laugh, too. "Well, it wasn't the most romantic way to tell him," said Chelsea, "but I'm sure it was memorable."
"Yeah, that makes me feel better," Scully said sarcastically, but she was smiling. Scully and Chelsea both entered Mulder's room laughing.
"What did I do now?" Mulder asked with a confused look on his face. He was sitting on the side of his bed facing the door.
"Oh, the usual," Scully teased.
"Oh, okay. Just checking. Anything for me in there?" Mulder gestured toward the duffel bag.
"Yeah, all of it, actually. I brought you a change of clothes. Unless of course you want to walk out of here in your hospital gown and give some of the elderly ladies a shock."
"Nah, I had that dream last night."
"I hate to interrupt," Chelsea said, "but if you just sign here, Mr. Mulder, you can leave as soon as you're ready to go." She handed a clipboard to him. He signed on the line indicated, and the nurse left the room with one last "good luck" to Scully and a farewell hug.
Scully dropped the duffel bag that she was holding on the floor, causing Mulder to jump slightly as the loud sound. "Sorry," she apologized. "It's just easier to do that than make a fool of myself trying to lean over. The waddle is embarrassing enough."
"I think the waddle is cute," Mulder said, placing a hand on Scully's tummy as she stood in front of him. "Feeling okay today?"
"Nothing worse than a painful back and painful feet."
Mulder's hand lingered for a moment on Scully's tummy, the he removed his hand, saying, "I'm going to change as fast as I can, and then I'll be ready to go. I'm ready to go home." Scully stepped into the hallway, and, true to his word, Mulder changed into his clothes quickly. Carrying the duffel bag, he joined Scully outside of the room, and they entered the elevator that carried them down to the lobby.
When they walked out the front door of the hospital, Mulder stopped suddenly. Worried, Scully said, "Mulder? What's wrong? Are you dizzy? Nauseous? Are you in pain?"
"Scully, Scully, whoa," Mulder said, putting his hands on her shoulders to steady her. "I just forgot how nice it usually was outside. I guess once you've been in a coma, you appreciate things a little more."
"… Oh… sorry… doctor's instinct."
"Or mother's," Mulder smiled. He started to walk again, and Scully followed. When they reached the car, Mulder mock complained when Scully wouldn't let him drive. As Scully drove them to Mulder's apartment, Mulder rolled down the window, and Scully watched as Mulder delighted in the simple fact that the wind was blowing through his hair.
Mulder looked over at her once and said, "Your stomach is touching the steering wheel."
"Oh, stop it," Scully smiled. He returned the smile and turned to look out the window once again. She wondered what he thought about as he watched the trees go by. Was he simply enjoying the moment, or was he thinking deeper, looking beyond the trees? Was he seeing the clouds he stared at, or was his mind far away, thinking about what he may have missed during those lost eight months?
Scully parked in front of Mulder's apartment building, but she did not immediately get out of the car. She leaned her head back against the headrest, closed her eyes, and sighed. Now that she wasn't as worried about Mulder, since he was finally well enough to come home, all of her sleepless nights were catching up with her. "You okay, Scully?" A worried voice reached her ears. Opening her eyes and turning her head, she saw a face that matched the worry in the voice.
"I'm fine. I just get tired a lot easier these days."
"You're… you're still coming in, right? I mean… at least just until I get settled?" He seemed so afraid of entering his apartment alone. In truth she had had every intention of staying with him for a while, and she was surprised that he hadn't already figured that.
"Of course, Mulder. I'll stay as long as you want me to stay."
"Careful what you promise, Scully," he joked, but he really did seem a little calmer, and they both exited the car together. However, as they walked up to the building, Mulder stopped at the door. His eyes became unfocussed and he seemed far away.
"Mulder?" Scully touched his arm uncertainly.
"I remember… I remember thinking that I was never going to be able to come back here… and trying to think of all the times we went over cases here or… or just times that you were here for no other reason than to keep me company… I tried to remember all those times to keep from thinking about the tests they were doing on me." He closed his eyes and rubbed a hand across them as if he could rub away the memories that had begun to assault him.
Scully wanted to do or say something, anything, to take away all of the emotional pain that Mulder was feeling at that moment. All she could do was take his free hand in both of her own to let him know that she was there for him when he needed her. He looked down at her with sadness in his eyes.
"You ready?" Scully asked. Mulder nodded at her, and they entered the apartment building. Scully glanced at the door that led to the stairwell that was next to the elevator. "I'd take the stairs, but…" she trailed off, placing a hand on her stomach. Mulder smiled and, taking her hand, led her into the elevator. The elevator chimed and opened its doors at Mulder's floor, and they both walked to the door of his apartment. Scully pulled out her keys and used her own key to Mulder's apartment to unlock the door. However, she did not immediately enter. She stepped back, allowing Mulder to open the door when he was ready. After a short moment, he opened the door slowly and stepped into the apartment that he hadn't seen in so many months.
"It's not as… stuffy… as I thought it would be," he said.
"Yeah, well, it wasn't exactly empty while you were gone," Scully replied, looking at her shoes. Well, where her shoes would be if she could see them anymore.
Mulder turned to look at Scully where she stood in front of the door she had closed behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and said, "I missed you, too." Then he started to laugh. "It's not as easy to hug you anymore, is it?"
"Try being one of my nieces or nephews. They don't even really hug ME… they mostly hug my stomach," she said, hugging Mulder back. Mulder pulled away slightly and placed both hands on either side of her stomach. Looking at Scully's tummy, that same look of awe that he had on his face a week earlier in the hospital was on his face again. When he looked into her face again, he leaned in and kissed her gently.
"I can't believe that I missed all of this."
"Look on the bright side… you missed a lot of the morning sickness and mood swings."
"I still would have held your hair back and took your tears and yelling even when I didn't do anything."
"Yeah, and that would have been… what… once?"
Mulder gave Scully his patented puppy dog look and then began walking around his apartment, taking in his surroundings. "I guess my fish weren't as lucky as I was," he said, noting the empty aquarium.
"Yeah, well, for a while there it was either watch over you or watch over your fish," Scully replied, flopping down onto the couch. She propped her feet up on the coffee table. She leaned back and closed her eyes, but jerked upright at a loud banging noise behind her. Looking around, she saw Mulder with a guilty look on his face.
"Sorry," he said guiltily, holding his basketball. She smiled at him as she shook her head. "You wanna go for a walk later? When you're all rested up, I mean?" he asked.
"Mulder, you need to rest up, too. You just came home from the hospital."
"Exactly. Come on, Scully, you know me. When I get cooped up too long anywhere I go crazy… okay, crazier… but you get my point."
Scully was silent for a moment, then said, "Okay, fine. But as ling as you rest before then. Rest for a while and we can walk to the deli around the corner for lunch. Sound good?"
"Yeah, I guess," Mulder said in mock disappointment. He sat down on the couch as well. As soon as he sat down, there was a knock on the door. With a frustrated sigh, and a smile from Scully, he got right back up from the couch, walked to the door, and opened the apartment to whoever was on the other side. Scully began to laugh as three very exited Gunmen pushed past Mulder into the apartment.
"Mulder, man!" Langly exclaimed. "We wanted to have a second birthday for you since you died and came back and all." He was carrying a large plastic bag that was bursting with party supplies.
"Hey, an extra guest!" Frohike said, coming in behind Langly.
"Oh, hey Scully! How's mini-you?" Langly asked.
"Tiring," Scully stated simply. Langly and Frohike smiled.
The last to enter the apartment was Byers who was holding two packages in his hands. "Hey Scully!" he said. "We didn't know you were here… should have figured, though." The last part was directed at the other two Gunmen, both of whom nodded in agreement.
Mulder sat back down next to Scully on the couch, and both watched with amusement as the three Gunmen pulled out paper plates, cups, and napkins out of the plastic bag that Langly had set on a nearby chair. Each plate, cup, and napkin had a green alien head on it. They even hung a few bright green streamers. Scully smiled and laid her head on Mulder's shoulder as she waited for them to finish. Last to be brought out of the bag was a small cake with a spaceship crafted out of icing on it and the words "Welcome Back." Scully giggled and Mulder laughed out loud at this particular work of art.
"We brought cups… but we in such a hurry that we kinda forgot drinks," Langly said.
"Well I certainly don't have anything," Mulder replied.
"Yes you do," Scully said. "Check the fridge, guys." Langly left for the kitchen and came back with a two liter bottle of Cherry Coke. Mulder looked at Scully strangely. "What? I like Cherry Coke. There's milk and orange juice and bottled water if you'd rather have one of those. I told you already. Your apartment wasn't empty, and since nothing in your fridge was from the past two years, I had to get some fresh things for myself."
And so, the Cherry Coke was poured, the cake cut, and stories shared. The Gunmen told Mulder about some of the crazier articles in their magazines he had missed, and Scully told him about some of the cases she had worked on. The party was nearly over when Scully suddenly put her hands to her tummy and closed her eyes in pain.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Mulder asked, concerned.
"Ugh, Braxton Hicks contractions," Scully replied.
Alarmed, Mulder jumped up, nearly knocking over the coffee table. "Contractions!? Where are my car keys?" he cried.
"Mulder? Mulder! Braxton. Hicks," Scully emphasized the two words.
"Wha… oh," Mulder said, embarrassed.
"I think… I think I'm going to go lie down." Scully began the struggle to get up from the couch. Mulder rushed over to help her up. When this task was completed, she turned to the Gunmen. "Sorry to leave the party early, guys."
"No problem, Scully. Hope you feel better," Byers said. "Oh, before you go, here. We picked this out for you." He handed a package to her.
"Oh," Scully said, surprised. "Thank you." She opened the box and found a soft, stuffed rabbit that rattled when shaken.
"It's soft and makes noise so babies are supposed to like it," Langly stated.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Mulder quipped. \
"Don't hate," Langly retorted. "Feel better, Scully!" he called as Scully headed for the bedroom. She gave a small wave behind her and then closed the door to the bedroom behind her.
Scully gently lay down on the side of the bed nearest to the door. Her back was to the door and her knees drawn up to her stomach. She had had Braxton Hicks contractions before and knew that if she lay down and rode them out that they would go away soon. She heard the apartment door open and close and assumed that the Gunmen had left. She counted to five in her head and smiled when she heard the bedroom door open.
Mulder walked around the sides of the bed and sat down facing Scully. He tucked a strand of fiery red hair behind her ear. "Are they gone, yet?"
"Mostly. Just a little queasy now." She smiled up at him.
"So… do these come very often?" he asked, looking worried.
Scully laughed. "What's the matter, Mulder? Scared?"
"When you're in pain and there's nothing I can do about it? Yes, that scares me.
"Oh, yeah. I can see how extremely difficult this is for you," she said sarcastically.
Mulder flopped down on the bed, saying, "Oh, I know, I'm exhausted!"
Scully punched him playfully on the arm. "Hasn't anyone ever told you not to mess with hormonal pregnant women?"
Mulder smiled and placed a hand on Scully's stomach. "Sleepy?" he asked, noting her drooping eyelids.
"Slightly," she replied, stifling a yawn.
"I am too, actually. You would think I had enough sleep in that hospital room."
"You have been through a good bit, Mulder."
"Still, I can't believe I'm so tired."
"Good night, Mulder," Scully said, snuggling as close to him as she could.
Mulder laughed and kissed the top of her head. "G'night, Scully."
Mulder woke up alone in his bed and panicked for a moment. Then he heard the banging of a pot in the kitchen and calmed- she was still there. He saw her rumpled clothes lying where she had laid and also that one of his drawers was partially opened. He sat up groggily. Rubbing his eyes, he got out of bed, wishing that he had worn something more comfortable than jeans to sleep in. He left the bedroom and followed the sounds coming from the kitchen. What he saw when he entered that room almost made him laugh. Scully was wearing one of his T-shirts and a pair off his sweat pants. Although the sleeves hung to her elbows and the legs off the pants had been rolled up many times, the shirt and the pants both now fit around her middle.
"Good morning," she said when she saw him. "Well… afternoon… whatever." She was pouring a light brown liquid from a pot on the stove into two mugs.
Mulder cocked his head and asked, "What are you making?"
"Tea," she answered simply.
"Don't you make tea with a teapot? Hence the name…?"
Scully smirked at him. "When you make it this way, it's stronger and tastes better," she explained. "My friend Sandra taught me that when I first started drinking this kind of tea." She pulled a carton of milk out of the refrigerator and poured some of the milk into each of the cups.
Mulder approached her from behind, putting her arms around her middle. He rested his hands on top of the swell of her stomach and buried his face in her hair, His voice was muffled when he said, "Since when do you drink tea and not coffee?"
"Since tea is better for me and the baby than coffee. That's since when."
"Okay… but I don't drink tea."
"Yeah, well, you aren't supposed to have any coffee, either, according to your doctor."
"And since when do I listen to my doctor?"
"Since you have a hormonal woman enforcing what the doctor said… now stop arguing with me!" Scully exclaimed… though she was smiling.
"Fine," Mulder said in mock anger. Sighing, he rested his chin on the top of Scully's head. "Well, if I have to drink it, what kind of tea is it?"
"It's chi."
"Sorry?"
Scully smiled. "Chi. It's a black spice tea. Just give it a try. You might actually find that you like it, Mr. Picky." She turned in his arms and lifted the cup to his mouth.
Mulder took a careful sip from the mug Scully presented to him and smiled in surprise. "Wow, this is pretty good," he said when Scully had lowered the cup.
"See?" Scully said, "You just have to broaden your horizons."
"Most people say they are too broad," Mulder laughed.
Scully smiled and lifted her own steaming cup to her mouth. She closed her eyes in pleasure as the hot chi tea warmed her. When she opened her eyes, Mulder was staring at her with an amused look on his face. "What?" she said, self-consciously.
"I've just never been able to see you like this, Scully. I always see your professional side… never your Martha Stewart side." Scully simply quirked an eyebrow at him. They both continued drinking their tea in silence.
When Scully finished her chi, she asked Mulder, "Are you getting hungry?"
"A little. But you know, I don't think I'll ever be so hungry to eat any more of that disgustingly blue Jell-o that the hospital gives you. That color does not occur in nature," he said, sipping at the last bit of tea left in his cup.
"What about blueberries?"
"Blueberries are not neon blue."
"Okay, fine. So open an x-file on the neon blue Jell-o," Scully said sarcastically. "You have fun while I go eat." She didn't want to snap at him, but she knew her hormones weren't going to let her stay happy much longer without any food.
"Well, I'm not going to stand between a pregnant woman and food," Mulder smiled at her. She wrinkled her nose at him, which only made him smile bigger. "But I think I'll put off opening that file until after we eat." Scully raised her eyebrow at him once again. "Or never," he said. She smiled.
"Just let me change into some of my own clothes," Scully said, "and then we can go to that deli."
"I think you look great in what you're wearing now," Mulder said, tugging lightly at the shirt of his that she was wearing. His heart melted as he watched a blush slowly creep into Scully's cheeks.
"Sometimes… sometimes I don't feel like doing laundry, so I just wear some of your clothes instead of washing all of my dirty maternity clothes," she said, slightly embarrassed. She wouldn't meet Mulder's eyes. He kissed her on the top of her head, and then, when she lifted her head, on the lips. When they parted, she said, "Wearing your clothes always made feel closer to you." She shrugged and smiled up at him, then headed toward the bedroom to change her clothes.
While Scully changed into clothes mare suitable for a lunch outing, Mulder slowly walked around his small cluttered living room. Apart from the missing fish from the aquarium, everything seemed to have been left the same as before he had been taken. But still, something seemed different. Not missing… just… different. He saw the many books stacked next to his computer, all still where he had left them. His leather couch was the same, and his coffee table, before being moved for his "second birthday" party, was still in front of the same TV. It was still his apartment, but it was also different.
He was pondering the difference that he felt in his apartment when he heard a voice behind him say, "Okay, I'm ready if you are." Turning, he saw Scully standing in the doorway of his bedroom. She was wearing a pair of maternity jeans and a midnight blue cable-knit maternity sweater. The deep blue of her sweater made her light blue eyes stand out even more than usual. She smiled at him, and that's when it hit him. He realized what was different. The apartment he remembered was cold and lonely, and he had hated coming home to it every day. Now, with Scully in his apartment, the place was warm and inviting, no longer stiflingly silent. Even when she wasn't in the same room with him, her presence in the apartment was tangible.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" Scully's question broke through his thoughts and brought him back to reality. Her eyebrow was raised. When he didn't answer, she said, "Hello? Seriously, what is it?"
Mulder wasn't exactly sure what to tell her without sounding like a lame greeting card. "I'm just really glad you're here with me," he finally said. She looked at him questioningly, as if she knew that wasn't all there was to his thoughts, but she didn't press the matter. "Why are you staring at me like that?" he mocked her.
Scully smiled. "Don't mess with me, Mulder. I'm pregnant and I'm hungry."
Mulder threw up his hands in a surrendering gesture, and then opened his apartment door. "After you, then." They left the apartment together, walking hand in hand, so happy to be together once again.
THE END
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