Why? It was an endless thought, why the last letter, why their last chapter? Fate destined many to end, but why theirs; there was something special about him, something more warm. He was like the sunlight in the winter air, or the moon to light the darkness; he was her pathway in life and this is what it had come to. A l a s tletter.
Dear John,
I don't know how to word this, should I begin by apologizing like I've seen them do it in the films, over and over again? Or should I just say it without reasoning? It's a constant in my head; you're my constant in my head and this is why it's an issue for me to place this on paper. I'd rather have you here in front of me, have me in the comfort of your warmth and possibly talk this out beneath the stars like we've always done, have our issues restored to goodness by the gleam of the stars.
But I doubt even the stars could fix this. I miss you, John. It's painful to go to college because each corner holds some form of love between the pupils and I cannot go home because you're not there anymore, it's like an entirety of my heart was taken when you left on that plane. It's killing me, John, not having you here to tickle me awake in the morning or to have you here to take me to see your dad and his collection. You're just not here and it's not the same. I want you to be here to hold me like you used to and make me feel special.
Having these letters delivered between us as a regular as though this is what a relationship is meant to be is driving me insane, it's insanity to not have you by my side; it's like taking the cold from the snow, it's not the same. You're rightful place is by my side, not somewhere dangerous and the worst part is me not knowing where you are. I'm not sure if it's foreign for me not to be by your side at night, John, but I hope it it because I feel like I'm alone on this one. You have your friends out there and I have no one but the sweetest kid and adults. I can't talk to them the way I talked to you, you'd surprise me with little trinkets and flowers and everything I wanted, it's like you read my mind; the best thing I get now is a macaroni necklace and a movie.
Please don't hate me for this, John, just promise me in your heart that you'll never hate me for doing this to you, to us. This is the hardest thing I've had to do in my life and the guilt weighing on my shoulders is tipping me over to the point I can't stand; but this has to be done for us to feel whole again, for us to feel like we can bare to live another day rather then lay down in the dirt for someone to live for us, most importantly, I'm doing this for you, I haven't seen you and emotionally, I don't know where you are, I just don't want you to be falling apart because of me.
This, us, we have to part, John, for the health and sanity for me and you.
Don't do anything reckless with the following of this letter, John, and keep that promise in heart that you won't hate me for it. Fight for what's right in life, live your career, I'll be here taking care of your dad, he's doing brilliantly, I thought you should know. Oh, and promise me another thing, John?
Love again.
All my love,
Savannah. x
No hate please guys.