Well, there you have it ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the most celebrated book since Katniss Everdeen's memoirs, as long-awaited as the downfall of President Snow and his tyrannical regime, the Hunger Games, blah blah see Mockingjay for more details.
Anyway, back to me.
Over my fascinatingly heart-stopping career I have been asked many many questions on an almost daily basis: questions like, "do you ever look in the mirror in the morning?" (I do actually I have four) and "how did your passion for mahogany start?" (Now isn't that fascinating, darlings!) And, "what is your relationship with Katniss Everdeen?" (Oh, don't ask darlings, it's a long story.) Also, "What is your relationship with Haymitch Abernathy?" (DON'T ASK. But for entirely different reasons. At least not until I've had a stiff gin- and not one from Haymitch's bottle either, he spits in it to make sure I don't. Trust me, I learned the hard way. ) And the real clincher, "just how old are you?"
So, over the course of this I will divulge some answers, (except to the last one. Because that's classified Capitol information.) Haymitch (see above) asked me, when I told him of my conviction that I was destined to write about me, he asked "Why?" So I'll tell you. Actually, to put it in full, he said "Why? Just why? Why would you do such a thing?"
Master of wit, Haymitch Abernathy.
Naturally, the world has been dying to hear my side of the story (who wouldn't?) and perhaps, well, I've been eager to tell it. And also, I receive the questions so many times per day that, due to my calculations (only District 13 has been more organized than I!) I spend far too much time answering questions and not enough time powdering my wig, my nose and my powder.
So, on with the show!
Effie xoxoxoxo