LOVE POTION
PART ONE
It's morning on Sailune, its residents wake up with the sun beating on their eyelids, but covered in part by the shadow created by the great tower of the royal palace, which houses Prince Phillionel and daughter Amelia, who for that day had invited all her friends ...
AMELIA: Hello Lina-san, well awake!
LINA: good morning Amelia, I'm a bit stunned ... what was all that noise last night?
A: ah I don't know, I haven't heard any noises, I was involved in a long and beneficial sleep!
L: ... with Zelgadis, so it was more than beneficial, isn't it?
A: B-but! What do you say, Lina-san? *she punches her back*
L: auch .. Okay, okay, anyway it was not you two... I was worried by noises from the room on the left... various explosions...
A: * does not pay attention to her words * Lina-san, don't say it again, it wasn't us, oh!
In that room, small explosions continued ...
MARTINA: muahahahahahhahahaha, and now my revenge begins! Lina Inverse will regret having challenged me! Muahahahahaha
ZANGLUSS: but dear, you're the one that...
MARTINA: Hush my dear, shut up, you're ruining the preparation of my death trap, mauahahahahahahahaha
Z: ok but...
M: With this potion I can finally drop down that foolish more than she could imagine!
Z: ... as long as you wouldn't be the one to fall down ...
*an explosion came from nowhere gets rid of him sending him to horizon *
Z: nuoooooooooooooooooo ...
M: Lina Inverse, you will tremble, tremble muahahahahaha!
Further on, in the park of the palace ...
SYLPHEEL: oooh Gourry-sama today I see you really well, as always!
GOURRY: oh really? Well thanks Sylpheel, at least there is someone who tells me nice things every now and then.
S: Do not worry Gourry-sama ... * clings to his arm *
G: ... Sylpheel? * Looks a bit worried*
S: Gourry-sama, I have to confess something important, I ... I ... I ... I'M IN LAAAAAAAAARGH!
* Zangluss rushes on Sylpheel which, tormented by the pain of her back more than her heart, makes circles on the ground and cries her sadness*
Z: oh, where the hell am I... AHA! Gourry! Finally we meet again! *pulls out his sword* I didn't forget about you! Come on, let's finish our fight once and for all!
G: * looking at the opponent, bends his head to the side * ... oh I understand!
Z: let me have doubts ... what do you understand...?
G: But no one had told me that it was already Halloween ...
Z: * falls to the ground, then gets up * What does Halloween have to do now?
G: you are dressed as a brown witch right? With this hat ... But do brown witches exist?
Z: WHAT KIND OF DOUBT DO YOU HAVE?! I am Zangluss, ZEE-A-N-G-L-U-DOUBLE S! Just remember it this time, and now...
G: Wait a minute!
Z: What is it now?
G: aha! * Beats his right fist into his left hand * you're the mad felon who later married the other crazy criminal, yeah, those two pathetics that went behind Zolmostro!
Z: Grrrrr, enough is enough! Our supreme master is ZoalmelGustav! And I'm not a criminal lunatic!
G: oh, sorry, I didn't remember ... why do you not defend your wife?
Z: I can't stand him more...
In the corridors of the building ...
NAGA: OHOHOHOYHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHHO!
Zelgadis: What did I do so bad to meet this woman?
N: Oh, young handsome, if you give me all your coins I will close one eye on your crime!
Z: What on Earth did I do to make you close one eye?
N: on YOUR eyes that glared my beautiful shapes, OHOHOHOHHO!
Z: of, if Amelia knew ...
N: * stops * you said ... Amelia?
Z: so why?
N: aha!
Z: I do not understand!
N: then my sister should stay around here ... well, come, young handsome, take me to her!
Z: *being took by his arm, flying in mid-air * sssstooooooopppp! Oh gods, what's wrong with her?!
N: * slow the race, Zell goes slammed against a column that nearly shatters * you are my trusted guide to find my sister and let me meet her, ohohohoho!
Z: * a bit dazed but immediately wakes up from a coma brain * SO-SO-SO-SISTER? * Zell imagines the unimaginable * Well, actually there are some similarity ...
N: really? Where?
Z: Well, in the face, in the features, in ... * blush * * zell is catapulted 10 feet away from a too powerful spray of blood from his nose*
N: OHOHOHOHOHOHOH!
Z: What is so funny now...?
Shortly after, at lunch, all are gathered in a large and majestic room, all sitting at the table; waiters bring continously dishes and, when they're tired, they rest against the columns, but do not have a real minute to rest because they're immediately called up to the reality because today's guest are bottoless pits.
LINA: I want another portion of roast turkey, then three servings of chicken omelette with herbs, yeah, the one with those chips that have that magical aftertaste of grilled peppers!
GOURRY: instead, for me another slice of wild boar with sauce! Indeed not! Give me all over the tray, so you'll save time!
Zelgadis: ... a-another cup of coffee, even a mug, please...
AMELIA: ... a-a glass of water ... Zell-san, don't you lose appetite just looking at them?
Z: what makes me most disgusted is the knowledge that they are at my own table ... sorry ... but how is your cook today?
A: I would say that it is depressed, but before lunch was fine, why?
Z: nothing, just that the food tastes strange...
From the kitchen strange noises come, pots falling to the ground, broken dishes, glasses flying. Shortly after, Naga, with some guinea fowls under her arm and chased by waiters armed with long wooden spoons, runs toward the crowd, jump on the table, dropping irretrievably everything down.
NAGA: OHOHOHOHHOHOH you thought you got rid of me, handsome young man! *indicates Zell*
A: * claps his hands on the table, turns to Zell* You did WHAT?
Z: Me?! I am nothing, nothing, nothing to do with this!
A: and then how do you explain her words?!
Z: Let me explain first, this one claimed to be your sister then I conducted her to the palace and... Amelia...?
A: *eyes reduced to two stars* ... you're my dear adorable big sister ... you... hey, that's the costume of our mother, isn't it? So it was you, you stole it!
N: hey, what, don't... oh, what happened to you? When I left, you were flat as a table, and now...
L: buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... *cries*
N: Hey Lina, I was not talking to you … Even if it's true, about you...
L: What the hell did you say... *an aura raised around the red headed girl*
N: hey, hey, what have I done now?
L: mainly, you've ruined my lunch...
From the kitchen, Martina arrives. Jumping on the table, she laughs out loud, worse than Naga, followed by her husband that attempts a poor imitation of his wife's laughter...
MARTINA: muahahahahhahaha there is no escape for you, Lina Inverse!
ZANGLUSS: yeah, sure, no escape!
G: aha! The mad hatter!
ZA: I'm not a mad hatter!
ZE: who married Martina gets crazy anyway...
ZA: oh, you do understand me.
MA: DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, MA' DEEEAAARRR?! *she throws to him a non identified object*
* Zangluss suddenly goes behind Zelgadis, who's a little disappointed *
MA: I was saying ... Lina Inverse, it's the end for you!
L: As you wish. *sipping wine* so you said last time, didn't you? That's a pity it isn't the last time for you...
MA: I assure you I'm not kidding this time, Lina Inverse...
L: oh, I see that you have learned something though: my name.
MA: Argh! You'll see the effects of the potion that I put in your dishes! Now you will literally fall at my feet, muahahahah!
ZA: uh, sweety ... * pulls her cloak *
MA: What do you want? Just now that I remembered all the speech that I had written.
ZA: my dear, it is really important ... see, that humm humm humming..
MA: WHAAAATTTT? DID I REALLY PUT THE POTION IN OTHERS' DISHES AND NOT IN HERS?
ZA: my love, I warned you that that was the wrong pot because: 1) Lina has her own pot 2) Lina has a pot smaller than the collective's one, since it is her personal one 3) Lina does not like too salty soup, and that one was tasteless ...
L: hey! How do you know?!
MA: all my perfect plan...
ZA: ...Martina, my love?
MA: I ... I ... I tasted the soup...
N: hey, so did I...
ZE, A, G, S: and we too...
L: Ooookay, calm down now... what was there in that soup? *grabs Martina by the collar, but after five minutes she leaves her because of her face being a bit purple*
MA: *coughing* it was a potion to make you literally fall at the feet of the woman who had created it, but since ...
S: ... I put a clove of garlic ...
L: superb...
A: ... I dropped an infusion of healing herbs...
L: wonderful...
N: … and I put a pinch of pepper ...
L: for refined palates ...
MA: and I have made the potion... but since you have not been drinking that soup, maybe... the book said *a books appears from nowhere* ... that we will be affected with the opposite effect ...
ZE: Wait a moment! I also drank that soup!
G: and I think I've drunk it too... maybe...
ZE: what will happen to us?
MA: nothing at all!
ZE: I really can't trust you.
MA: well, if you're a man it shoul-
G: Ah? *he looks in his pants* ah it's true, I'm a boy, never mind!
ALL: ...
MA: ...anyway, the effect is only on women.
WOMEN: WHAAAAA?
L: and you would have conceived such a thing? Let me take a look to that book ... *Martina gives her the book* … gods, Zelgadiss, did Rezo have some bouts of depression against women, since they didn't flirt with him?
ZE: why are you asking this?
L: Well, I do not think that the author, a certain Aka Houshi Rezo, is a namesake with your dear grandfather.
ZE: W-wha?!
S: Oh, Gourry-sama, I do not feel very well ... oh, please support me ...
N: even me, I don't feel so good, I feel something that hurts...
L: the brain?
N: N-no, I meant here, my chest... my heart...
MA: Zanglus, I can't see straight...
ZA: c-mon my dear, I'm here for you! * takes her hand, but she rejects him with a curt gesture*
MA: Aaaaah! A man! You suck!
ZA: B-but what...?!
S: Aaaargh! Gourry-sama, you're a man too, you suck!
N: Argh, men all around! Fireballs! * Zelgadis, Gourry and Zangluss are overwhelmed by the spell*
L: Girls, what is it happening to you? You're worrying me...
*All girls turn toward the source of the voice, with a sly smile, thin eyes, then giggle*
ALL WOMEN: ON HER!
L: Yeah, now I'm really worried.