Disclaimer- I don't own NCIS or the song.

Authors note – So I decided to go back to what I love and write pure Jibbs romance. This is basically me cutting out half of the OC's, and heavy depressing angst, and writing what I started off writing. I love the idea of Jenny loving music and singing so I hope you enjoy.

Also, the title means 'don't forget me please' and was kindly translated by Azniv, so I can take no credit.

The song is 'Let there be Lonely' by Jonathon Jackson.

Ne m'oublie pas s'il te plaît

It seemed as though no matter how hard she tried, no matter how many walls she re-built, or how many smiles she faked, there was no avoiding it. Five years had passed since her supposed 'death'. Five years since that day when she had stood in the old dinner in the middle of the desert with no one but Mike Franks to back her up. And as she looked back on that day now, she wondered how stupid she could possibly have been. As Director she had been so stuck up and in truth she hated the person that job had made her. Five years on, she'd changed. In some ways it was for the better; these days she was kinder, more down to earth. She treated people as though they were all equal. Yet in other ways, she didn't like parts of herself, the way she was always looking over her shoulder, the way that she was never fully happy.

However whilst Jenny was thankful for the fact she had been able to leave the person the job had made her behind, thankful that she had been allowed to begin to write and play music again. She also missed him like hell. Jen missed those piercing blue eyes, that smile that he so rarely showed. She missed his glare, his mistreating of her door (that was now Leon's), she missed the way he always knew what she was thinking and could read her like a book. Jenny missed Leroy Jethro Gibbs, and Tony, Tim, Abby, and Ducky. Each one of them had been part of her family; especially the old Doctor. He'd seen her grow from a young determined agent into the bull headed and ice cold Director, and now she wished that just once she could see him again, talk to him, listen to one of those rambling stories . . . do all of the things she had taken for granted.

Her life was different these days. She was in witness protection thanks to the CIA. It was only partly due to the fact that there were still people who had worked for Svetlana who wanted her dead, the other part was because it was believed among the arms dealing community that she had killed La Grenouille. Jenny had given up trying to imagine the number of people with a grudge against her who wanted her dead, and just gone with it. Now she moved to a different state every 9-10 months. She never settled down. However she still worked, these days she worked in small bars most of which played live music. Generally she was a waitress, but from time to time she would play as well. Loving the fact that for those few minutes she could slip away the mask and let her true feelings be shown and yet no one would know her story.

When she had been a teenager she'd loved music, after her mother's death it had been her that kept the family together. Her father was deployed most of the time and Noemi only worked when he was away. Jenny was the one who had looked after her younger sister Heather. She'd been seventeen when their mother had died; Jenny had had dreams of going to University and studying law. Her sister had only been thirteen though, young and naïve. Jenny had been the one who dressed her for school, helped her with homework and, when the time had come, gone prom dress shopping with her. It had been Jenny who had done all the things their mother should have done with Heather. In those days she had felt so alone, she knew it was not her father's fault, after all her mother had died in a car crash, but she partly blamed him. She felt lonely, and that was where music came in. Jenny had loved it. It distracted her from growing up too fast and acted as a sort of plug for that hole in her heart.

Her mother's death was the reason she chose FLET-C over Law school. Because in reality she had already outgrown being a student. That was something that she never wished she had not done though, because thinking about it now she could not actually see herself as being anything other than a cop. It was whilst she was at FLET-C that her father had been killed. He was the reason she chose NCIS over the FBI, CIA and Secret service. NCIS allowed her the access and opportunity she would need to be able to bring down her father's killer. But look where that had gotten her? Living a lie, away from every person she cared about and alone – more alone than she had ever even known that a person could be.

Currently Jenny was living in Philadelphia. She had an apartment that looked out over the city. It was only small, but easy to defend and protect for the security she always had and was unable to escape. Jenny was sat on the floor next to the big one way window looking out on the city, guitar on her knee and papers spread out around her as she tried to write. It was early evening in the city, and it was beginning to come alive. Over the last five years she had lived everywhere from Connecticut, to Miami, to Texas. But this was one of the closest places to DC she had lived.

Living a lie was getting hard and Jenny was not sure how much longer she would be able to go on. Every time they thought she would be safe to settle down there were whispers and she moved, never getting close anyone. That was what hurt, because every time she moved, her security changed. "Louise, it's time you left for your shift." One of the young men said. His dark hair lay flat to his face, and a quiet personality that strongly reminded her of McGee. She nodded and shuffled her papers into a pile before carrying them into her room and locking them away.

Louise.

Louise Walters was her name. No one knew Jenny, Jenny Shepard was buried in an empty grave in some corner of a cemetery, all remnants of her locked away in a box of some cool dark room at the back of NCIS. Sometimes she wondered if any of them went to her 'grave', she wondered if Heather knew what had truly happened to her. But Jenny guessed not. Jen grabbed a change of clothes and pulled on a black tube skirt and fitted white blouse with black heels. She looked in the mirror and smiled at her red hair, after five years this was the first state where she had not been forced to wear a wig when she went out. Her hair was long now, and she had a feathered fringe that framed her eyes. Jen applied a coat of red lipstick and tied the long locks back before grabbing her purple double breasted jacket and heading out into the dreary and grey October evening.

The streets were quiet, and the security walking behind her would go unnoticed by most, however Jenny noticed them. She noticed the two men behind of her, and the one over in a doorway reading the paper. The red head walked the couple of blocks until she got to the small back street bar. It was relatively quiet as it was only mid week. Walking in she hung up her jacket behind the bar, grabbed her apron and got to work.

Jenny's shift lasted until it was gone eleven in the evening and the crowd had nearly gone. She waited tables, collected orders, served drinks, wiped tables and worked until her feet felt like they were about to fall off. It was getting on and there were just a few customers left. Jenny sat down at the bar and took a deep breath. She did not know why but today was getting to her. "Go play for 'em." Lynne said. She was the owner of the bar, and older than Jenny as she was in her mid fifties. She had dyed brown hair that was cut into a wedge bob. Lynne was lovely, she near lived in skinny black jeans and had been a rebel back in her day. Now she settled for watching the younger ones have the fun. But she was getting to know Jenny, and she'd noticed that whenever she was down or upset, playing music seamed to lift her.

Lynne also knew that Jenny was not one to divulge much about her life, in fact she knew very little about her life. But she thought of her like a sister, or a niece, and felt almost protective of her. When she told Jenny to play the red head looked up. "Nah, they don't wanna listen to me." She said with a smile, resting her head on her hand.

"They sure do! Now go pick up that guitar and play!" She said before nodding to the old Gibson that was sat behind the bar. Lynne went to serve a customer and Jenny looked at the guitar hesitantly. Her confidence when it came to playing had gotten better as of lately, but that was by no means saying that she believed in herself. Deciding it would be the only chance that she would manage to say how she felt she picked up the guitar and walked over to the mike that stood in the corner. As she walked onto the stage she felt eyes on her.

"Lynne persuaded me to get up here, so if you don't like this then it's her you need to blame." There were a couple of laughs before Jenny sat the guitar on her knee and began to strum the strings for the first few chords before her fingers got accustomed and she got into the rhythm of things. "So this is a song called 'Let there be Lonely'

"Let there be lonely, I'm ready to grieve,
Love I've been holding on to,
I've tried so hard to keep saying you're mine,
Now it's time, now it's time.

"Let there be hurting I'm craving the tears,
That are appeared in my eyes for so long,
I want to feel every drop of the pain,
As I cry, as I cry.

"I'm gonna suffer the aching I've earned,
Won't this wound ever the lesson I've learned,
'Cause the only way out of here,
It's the only way out of here.

"Let there be daggers that take my skin,
Down to my heart will go holding,
Make me a new one and I'll love again,
Until then, until then.

"Let there be lonely.

"It's the only way out of here,
Oh it's the only way out of here.

"Let there be lonely I'm ready to grieve,
Love I've been holding on to,
I've tried so hard to keep saying you're mine,
Now it's time, now it's time."

She'd written the song months ago now, on the day that would have been Jethro's birthday. It was her way of admitting that she would never see him again, and her way of saying goodbye to their love. Now as she sung it she wanted to cry, and the look in Lynne's eyes made her know that her friend knew that. When she had started singing in bars her security had had a fit. They'd hated the idea of tonnes of eyes being on her, but Jenny had done what she had always done and stuck firmly to her guns.

Jenny smiled as she strummed the last bar and everyone clapped, she smiled and stepped down off of the stage, and walked over to the bar. "Better hon?" Lynne questioned.

"Much." Jenny said with a soft smile which was slightly bittersweet. "I'm gonna get off now. Keep the tips." The red head said before she grabbed her jacket and left. The cold air hit her face as she walked out and it took her breath away. She felt like she had just bared her soul up on the stage. Jenny walked the streets and took a short cut home, losing her detail in the process. She was so caught up in her thoughts that her agent skills were mutes for a while, so she didn't notice the fact she was being followed by someone who was not a member of the CIA.

Yet over in DC, Gibbs was sat in a small dinner with Doctor Ryan. He'd finished a case and met up with her. But as he sat there, trying to move on with his life, his hands wrapped around his cup, out of nowhere in particular his gut began to clench. For some unknown reason he all of a sudden felt a wave of guilt for being with another woman, and knew that something was wrong, but where and with whom he did not yet know.

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