FrostIron Request from mcrdoctorwho
Warning(s) None really.
Of Minions and Men
"Stark...Staaaark...STARRRRRRRKKKKKKK!" Tony Stark groaned as swatted the hand away. It only came back more urgently. "Stark! Wake up!" Tony shook his head eyes stubbornly closed. "Stark I am currently naked." Tony sat up from the couch quickly from where he had fallen asleep watching T.V with Loki. Loki was currently sitting beside him, eyes glued on the screen, smacking Tony's arm. He was not naked.
"Loki you liar!" Tony snapped, while Loki's lips formed intoa smile. "I am the God of Lies, my love." He pointed out. Tony pouted. "Got me all excited for nothing." He mumbled, turning on his side to go back t sleep. Loki grabbed his shoulder stopping him.
"Wha-"
"Look." Loki ordered pointing at the T.V. Tony glanced over to see Despicable Me, playing. He looked back at Loki. "What about it?" He asked. Loki pointed at the yellow minion. "What is that?" He asked. "A minion." Tony replied. "I want one Anthony." Loki stated, his voice holding all the authority of a prince. "They don't exist sweet cheeks." Tony turned again. Only scowled. "Nonsense, Stark. Why would they be on the talking box?"
"The T.V?"
"That's what I said half wit."
"Entertainment sweetheart. The T.V is for entertainment. Not facts." Loki scowled again.
"Well then how do you explain the TARDIS and the Doctor?" He replied, his voice taking a sing song tone. Tony snickered. "Dr. Who's not real either." Loki blanched, looking horrified.
"You lie!"
"Seriously Loki, they aren't real."
"Harry Potter?"
"Nope."
"The Lord of the Rings?"
"Negative."
"Not Supernatural or Sherlock?" Loki's voice quivered. Tony shook his head. It was like telling a little kid Santa was not real. Loki bit his bottom lip thoughtfully. "Game of Thrones?"
"Also fake."
"You told me you were a descendant of Stark!"
"I lied." Tony grinned and Loki scowled. "They claim me to be the God of Lies, but you and your talking box-"
"T.V."
"Talking Box, are much crueler then even I!" Loki declared. Without another word he leapt to his feet and raced out of the room. "Loki? Loki, babe, come back!" Tony declared. He heard the bedroom door slam and the audible click of it locking. Well. It looked like he was sleeping on the couch tonight. And right on cue.
"Sir, shall you need an extra blanket for the couch?"
"Shut up Jarvis." Tony mumbled.
"Of course sir." Jarvis replied. Tony could sense a bit of an attitude in that voice of his. Tony went to sleep alone that night.
Tony knew something was off. He just knew it. The first thing he saw when he awoke was yellow. A bright in your face, fucking yellow.
"Uhhh...Loki?" Tony called sitting up. Loki who was at the table reading looked up with a smile. "Yes darling?" He called. "What the fuck is this!?" Tony asked motioning to the yellow creature before him. Loki's smile grew. "That, my love is a Minion." Loki commented. Tony noticed one of the Minions was sitting on Loki's lap, his large mouth happily open as Loki fed it a pretzel. Tony stoood slowly looking around. He could see four minions. Four was not too terrible...
"How many are there?" He asked as one of them latched onto his leg and screamed. "Thirty-Seven." Loki responded handing out another pretzel. "Thirt-thirty seven..." Tony breathed looking around and noticing more emerging. He turned back to Loki and motioned wildly at them. "Care to explain?" He asked. Loki stood and smiled watching as one of the Minions launched himself off the top of the fridge and landed face first on the floor.
"I told you I wanted them." He shrugged easily. "And besides, they'll be fun." Tony felt a tug on his pant leg and looked down to see a one eyed Minion grinning up at him. "Para tú" It cried out. It thrust out its arm and in its hand was a jar of peanut butter. Tony glared at the Minion. "I don't like being handed things." He mumbled. The Minion was not deterred however and thrust it at him happily screaming. Tony looked at Loki helplessly.
"Loki, make him stoooooop." He pleaded. Loki smiled and shook his head. "I am afraid I cannot do that darling." Loki blew Tony a mocking kiss and winked before vanishing, leaving Tony alone with Thirty Seven Minions. Well Shit.
They followed Tony everywhere. They painted on the walls and would walk in while Tony was having sex with Loki, and giggle loudly. Tony never understood what they were saying. It sounded part Spanish part Japanese. And worst of all was that Loki paid more attention to them than to him. Every evening Loki sat down with them at his feet as he read, a smug smile on his lips.
Damn Him.
"WAAAAAAA!" Tony looked up from his work to see three Minions standing at the glass door staring at him with a grin. Tony scowled. "Scram!" He snapped looking back at his project. One of them began banging on the door. Tony tossed his wrench aside. "Dammit Loki! Your Minions are freaking out again!" He shouted. No answer.
"Jarvis?"
"Yes, sir?" Jarvis's smooth voice rang out. "Where's Loki?" Tony asked picking his wrench back up. "Mr. Friggason is currently in the shower sir." Jarvis responded. Tony threw his wrench again. "God dammit..." He muttered. He reluctantly hit the button to let the Minions in. They raced in excitedly and Tony tensed as the approached his inventions.
"Hey! Don't-" He felt a tug on his pant leg and looked down to see a Minion holding out his wrench to him. Tony hesitated but slowly took it from the Minion.
"Thanks."
Loki hummed as he made his way down into Stark's lab. His hair was still wet and he was barefoot. When he entered Tony's lab he was surprised to see Tony working on one of his inventions with a group of Minions at his feet handing him tools and Ooooing and Ahhhing as he worked. Loki smiled. "What's this Anthony?" He asked approaching his lover who looked up and grinned at Loki putting his tools down to pull Loki against him as he read over his work.
"Just working sweetheart." He replied. Loki looked around at the Minions.
"The Minions?"
"I named them Loki!" Tony exclaimed. "Look! This is Pete, Norbert and Bilbo." He pointed a the three Minions grinning at them. "Then there is Timothy, Edwin and Ringo." He pointed at the other three. "I'm still working on the others, though." Loki sat on the counter taking one of the Minions to sit beside him.
"I'm assuming they are allowed to stay now?" He asked as Tony went back to work.
"Yeah, yeah sure. Just keep them out of our room during sex."