A/N: Hello :D I did this before, but last time I had chapters with one
person in each. Also, Before I had to take it off because I numbered it as
a list, and fanfiction took it off. I took out a lot of stupid things, and
added more funny stuff. So, this is a new and improved version!!! By the
way, My 2 friends helped me with some of these! ( thanks u guys!!!
Summary: This is a story based on what would never happen. yea, you know, that's why it is called *Never Happening*. lol. It says what the characters in HP would never do, or say. If you like it or don't, just review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter related things. J.K. Rowling does. Also, I don't own the quote used in 'A Night at the Roxbury'. It belongs to whoever owns it!
Harry: "I'm glad my parents died."
Draco: "Daddy! I want a scar just like Harry's!"*runs off crying*
Ginny: *grows up to be a homeless hobo living in Harry's tree talking him*
Hermione: *gets high off smoking raisins*
Hermione: "Gosh Mr. Weasley! Did u build this wooden house all by your self?! Its so retarded and crappy!"
Dumbledore: *grabs raggedy Ann out of beard* "Raggedy Ann, would you like a lemon drop?
Ginny: *rapes Pigwidgeon*
Draco: *toenails are cracked and bleeding*
~Harry and Mrs. Weasley:~
Mrs. Weasley: Harry?! What are you doing in my house?
Harry: Oh, I'm just raping Ginny.
Fred and George: *run into a store and steal a free sample* "Mwahaha! the perfect crime!"
Dumbledore: *flies away on a pink balloon singing: 'somewhere over the rainbow'*
Harry: "Snape, if I show you my nipples would you give Gryffindor 50 points?"
Molly Weasley: *starts a rock band called: 'I wanna be Potter so I can be rich'*
Fred and George: *become the Rambo twins*
Harry: "Ron, can I borrow your nasty, old, torn clothes? I wanna make people feel even sorrier for me. I want everyone to think of me as: The poor boy-who-lived."
Hermione: * has bald spots on her head with little hairs and ribbons tied to it*
Draco*sprays nail polish remover in people's eyes*
Harry: "Oh my gosh Ron! you must come with me! I'm going to have a tea party with the Dark Lord!"
Hermione: *takes off clothes in front of Harry, and spanks her ass* "Harry, you know you wanna spank it!"
Ron: *poses for playboy*
Harry: *suddenly appears on the cover of Cosmopolitan, winning the sexiest troll*
Ginny: *singing* "Harry's got a gun, run away!"
Dobby: *breaths loudly looking at Harry Potter's sock*
~Ron and Harry telling Hermione about their summer~
Harry: So anyways, im standing there waiting to use the payphone.
Ron: Yea, he was, seriously
Harry: And this guy who's on the phone turns around and tips his hat, like this
( pretend to tip hat downward)
Ron: and who do you think that guy was?
Harry: Emilio Esteves
Ron: the mighty duckman(a/n I didn't understand what it said),I swear to god! I was there!
Harry: of course you were there! you were the one who yelled his name!
Ron: I was like EMILIO!!!
A/N: Well, that's it! I hope u liked it, if u did or didn't please review and tell me ( by the way, next chapter will be filled with more or less of this stuff 2. Maybe by then I can have more funny stuff.
Summary: This is a story based on what would never happen. yea, you know, that's why it is called *Never Happening*. lol. It says what the characters in HP would never do, or say. If you like it or don't, just review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter related things. J.K. Rowling does. Also, I don't own the quote used in 'A Night at the Roxbury'. It belongs to whoever owns it!
Harry: "I'm glad my parents died."
Draco: "Daddy! I want a scar just like Harry's!"*runs off crying*
Ginny: *grows up to be a homeless hobo living in Harry's tree talking him*
Hermione: *gets high off smoking raisins*
Hermione: "Gosh Mr. Weasley! Did u build this wooden house all by your self?! Its so retarded and crappy!"
Dumbledore: *grabs raggedy Ann out of beard* "Raggedy Ann, would you like a lemon drop?
Ginny: *rapes Pigwidgeon*
Draco: *toenails are cracked and bleeding*
~Harry and Mrs. Weasley:~
Mrs. Weasley: Harry?! What are you doing in my house?
Harry: Oh, I'm just raping Ginny.
Fred and George: *run into a store and steal a free sample* "Mwahaha! the perfect crime!"
Dumbledore: *flies away on a pink balloon singing: 'somewhere over the rainbow'*
Harry: "Snape, if I show you my nipples would you give Gryffindor 50 points?"
Molly Weasley: *starts a rock band called: 'I wanna be Potter so I can be rich'*
Fred and George: *become the Rambo twins*
Harry: "Ron, can I borrow your nasty, old, torn clothes? I wanna make people feel even sorrier for me. I want everyone to think of me as: The poor boy-who-lived."
Hermione: * has bald spots on her head with little hairs and ribbons tied to it*
Draco*sprays nail polish remover in people's eyes*
Harry: "Oh my gosh Ron! you must come with me! I'm going to have a tea party with the Dark Lord!"
Hermione: *takes off clothes in front of Harry, and spanks her ass* "Harry, you know you wanna spank it!"
Ron: *poses for playboy*
Harry: *suddenly appears on the cover of Cosmopolitan, winning the sexiest troll*
Ginny: *singing* "Harry's got a gun, run away!"
Dobby: *breaths loudly looking at Harry Potter's sock*
~Ron and Harry telling Hermione about their summer~
Harry: So anyways, im standing there waiting to use the payphone.
Ron: Yea, he was, seriously
Harry: And this guy who's on the phone turns around and tips his hat, like this
( pretend to tip hat downward)
Ron: and who do you think that guy was?
Harry: Emilio Esteves
Ron: the mighty duckman(a/n I didn't understand what it said),I swear to god! I was there!
Harry: of course you were there! you were the one who yelled his name!
Ron: I was like EMILIO!!!
A/N: Well, that's it! I hope u liked it, if u did or didn't please review and tell me ( by the way, next chapter will be filled with more or less of this stuff 2. Maybe by then I can have more funny stuff.