Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters
A/N: A lot of people asked for a sequel for In Between so here it is. I don't think you need to read In Between before reading In The End but it might help.
I also want to point out that I have absolutely no medical experience so please forgive any errors; I did try my best at research.
A/N: I'd like to thank my Beta buttercupgalaxy for all her help on this one, she's been amazing as always.
SN
It had been two months since they had been in St. Louis, two months since Dean had learned about the attack on Sam while he had been at Stanford. This had led Dean to spending most of this time trying to think of a way to approach his brother about it and so far he had come up with absolutely nothing. So it was kind of ironic that it had now been taken out of his hands and forced to come to a head. Of course, Dean would have preferred if it hadn't taken his brother being hospitalised, for him to have the opportunity to have it out with him. Now all he had to do was wait for Sam to get well to finally talk to him.
God, the Universe must have something against them, like come on, how could a simple salt and burn lead to this? Dean found it hard to believe that it had only been a little over a week ago that he and Sam had been in the Cemetery digging up the late Shirley Rafter in order to stop her terrorising the family that currently resided in what was once here home. Sam had researched the job inside out and they had gone into it better prepared than they had on a lot of other jobs lately, so how the hell had it turned out so crappy? Simple, the one thing that even the best prepared Winchester couldn't control – the weather.
They had been in town for four days, and sun hadn't stopped shinning. It was so warm that at night, even with the air conditioning on, Sam had abandoned his usual night time ensemble and been sleeping in only a pair of shorts. So, at the time, heading out to the Cemetery in nothing more than a T-Shirt hadn't seemed like a bad idea, how could they have known that the warm front was about to be replaced by a down pour just as they started to dig up the grave?
If it hadn't been for the fact that the Cemetery was on a hill, meaning that Dean had to leave the Impala at the bottom, a good hour's walk away and if it hadn't been for the fact that Shirley Rafter had begun to up the ante and had almost killed the Hudson's four year old daughter the previous evening, Dean would have called it a night. He knew that there was no point in second guessing the decision to stay, it wouldn't help anybody, wouldn't make Sam get better any quicker but still if they hadn't been there that night then this wouldn't have happened.
The rain came on suddenly and heavy; so heavy that he found it hard to breath. He had looked to Sam and could see him having the same struggle. Without saying a word, they had both silently agreed to continue, after all that was the John Winchester way - put the safety of others ahead of themselves. The rain had made it slow going; but, they had almost finished when Shirley decided to make her grand entrance.
Appearing behind Sam as he got out of the hole, Dean could only watch as she flung his aside as if he were a rag doll. It looked to Dean that she didn't realise that he was even there, because he watched as she moved after his brother. Wanting to protect his brother, he ignored the urge to run to Sam, instead, scrambling out of the grave, he had grabbed the salt and lighter fluid and began pouring it as fast as he could. He turned his head in time to see the spirit, leaning over Sam.
"Hey bitch, what do I have to do to get in on the action?" He shouted as he dropped everything into the hole and lit two of the matches that he always kept in his pocket. Watching with relief as the spirit turned away from his brother, he saw her dissipate whilst the flames started to rise out of the grave.
Moving to Sam, he saw him struggling to sit up holding his wrist. As it turned out Sam had been lucky, just a sprained wrist and so Dean filled in most of the grave while his brother, as always, tried his best to help and with one hand, moving as much dirt as he could.
All in all, it was almost dawn when they arrived back motel, both wet and cold to the core. He had insisted that Sam shower first, a little worried about how pale his brother was. Seeing Sam come out he began to feel a bit better; the colour had returned to his face, and he seemed to be in good form, insisting that Dean take his own shower before wrapping up his swellingwrist.
It wasn't until the next morning that the sneezing started. It was funny at first, making fun of his little brother and his little cold. Teasing him about how if he ate proper food, like his big and supremely handsome brother did, instead of the rabbit food that Sam lived on then he wouldn't have caught a cold from a little bit of water.
Of course, it wasn't quite so funny the following night; when Dean spent most of it awake, unable to sleep as he listened to his brothers constant coughing. He had gone out the next day and loaded up on cold medicine and cough syrup in order to stop Sam's cold getting a better hold on his little brother. Even so, the rattle that had made itself known in Sam's breathing had caught him off guard, and then there was the fact that he had started to get a fever. It was at this point that Dean realised that they might be in trouble and tried to get his brother to go to see a doctor; but, Sam was having none of it. Yet, when the shortness of breath and pains in his chest came along, Dean led Sam straight to the Impala. That was two days ago, and Sam had been in and out of it ever since then.
Apparently his brother had gotten pneumonia. At first he couldn't understand how the hell someone of Sam's age and physical well-being could end up with pneumonia? But then the kind doctor (who talked so calmly that Dean was left fighting the urge to strangle him) explained that because his brother had had a splenectomy he was more susceptible to infections as, apparently, the spleen had a role to play in the immune system.
Sam was being loaded full of antibiotics and the doctors were pleased with his progress and although he was relieved that his brother was going to be ok, he couldn't get past the frustration that he felt when he thought about why it had happened in the first place. How some random act of violence, which, as far as Sam knew, Dean did not know about, was still affecting his brother's life, and from what the doctors had told him, would for the rest of his life.
Dean had always believed that having your spleen removed was the same as having your appendix taken out; it was something that you could easily live without, well that's the way they make it look on T.V. So instead of spending the past two months researching for any side affects to the injuries that Sam had sustained when he was attacked at Stanford, Dean had been trying to find away to bring up the subject with Sam. Trying to come up with a way to have his own questions answered, instead of doing his job and taking care of his brother.
The only good thing that had come out of it was that it had finally brought the situation to a head and now he was more aware of what needed to be done to ensure that they were never put in this position again.
It was a struggle for Dean to keep his emotions under control as he waited for Sam to be well enough that he felt comfortable bringing up the issue of his brother's missing spleen.
"So dude, I think you owe me an explanation?" Dean asked, knowing that his opening could have been better, especially considering the amount of time he had to prepare, but then again, he had always believed in the direct approach. He watched his brother put on his best "I don't know what you are talking about" face.
"Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about Sam, you know as well as I do that the reason this got on top of you so quickly is because you don't have a spleen anymore. Which is funny cause I remember when you had to get your tonsils out, but I don't remember the operation where you had your spleen yanked out." Ok, so he knew it was a cheap trick, not telling Sam that he already knew what had happened, but he wanted to see what Sam would do.
"I'm sorry Dean, it's not like I didn't tell you on purpose, it's just with everything that has happened, I mean Jess and Dad still missing, I just never thought of it." Sam said, giving Dean his best puppy dog eyes, and it was in this moment that he almost caved. But his head told him that he needed to ignore his heart for the moment. He needed to know that Sam would tell him something like this in the future, not hide it away when it could come back and bite them both in the ass at a later date.
"Well, now I know, you going to tell what the hell happened?" Dean asked, keeping his voice calm. Getting Sam riled at the moment was not an option, for one thing he would only bring up the walls and shut Dean out, and, for another, he didn't think that his little brother had the physical strength to take him on.
"I fell and it ruptured so they had to take it out." At this Dean felt something snap inside of him and he had to force himself to turn away from Sam and take a deep breath. He couldn't believe that Sam could be so blasé about it, look at him and leave out most of what happened. He knew now that if he left it to Sam, he would never tell him, so there was only one thing for it, he had to tackle his brother head on.
"Oh you fell, so it had nothing to do with the fact that a group of guys kicked the crap out of you one night while you were at Stanford?" If this hadn't been so serious, the look on Sam's face would have had Dean reaching his phone to take a picture.
"How did you know?" Sam successfully asked, after opening and closing his mouth a couple of times.
"I doesn't matter how I know Sam, what matters is you were in hospital after getting the crap kicked out of you, you lost your spleen and you didn't call. I mean come on Sam, did you think we wouldn't find out? Dad always told us that you can't hide injuries on a hunt, cause if you do, you'll get yourself or someone else killed." Dean shouted. Ok, so obviously the deep breathing wasn't working, itwasn't keeping him calm and now this was going in the opposite direction of how he planned it.
"I said I was sorry Dean, what more do you want?" Sam asked.
"I want to know what the hell happened, and how I have only found out about it now?" Dean said.
"What's the point, you seem to know everything anyway?" Sam shouted. Dean watched as his brother got caught in a coughing fit. Moving forward he began to try and elevate Sam in order to make it easier for his brother to breath. He was shocked to feel Sam push him away.
"Sam, stop being a stubborn jerk and let me help ya!" As the coughing fit continued, Sam's resistance lessened.
"Just take it easy Sammy, don't fight it." Dean said as he watched his brother try to gain control.
Dean waited until the coughing subsided and moved the pillows behind Sam's head in order to make his brother more comfortable.
"You know Sam, I'm not giving out to you here….." Dean began.
"Well it sounds like you are." Sam cut in.
"I swear Sam, I'm not. I just want to know what happened." Dean knew that if Sam thought that he was having a go at him, like his father would, he would shut himself off from Dean and he wouldn't get anything out of him. He needed to ensure that Sam remembered that it was his brother that was asking and not his father.
"Why Dean, I mean from the sounds of it you already know?" Sam asked. He really didn't want to go over this. Talking about the attack wasn't what bothered him; it was what he knew would come after it. Dean would want to know why he hadn't called him and Sam knew that his brother wouldn't like the answer.
"Because I want to hear it from you." Dean said as he sat on the side of Sam's bed.
He watched as Sam gave him that look, the one where he was trying to tell if he waited it out a bit longer would Dean let it go. He saw a look of resignation on Sam's face and knew that his little brother had realised that there was no way out of this one.
"I really don't know what you want Dean. I mean, I was stupid, I made a mistake and I paid for it. It was just a usual night out with the Jess, Zach and Rebecca. The girls and me decided it was time to go home leaving Zach, who was otherwise disposed. On our way out Jess said she needed the bathroom. Rebecca went with her and as I waited outside I heard a girl screaming, went to see what was going on and came across a couple of guys harassing her. I managed to get her away but the numbers were against me. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital minus a spleen." Sam finished by looking up at his brother, shrugging his shoulders and smiling.
He was mentally crossing his fingers, hoping that Dean would leave it alone, that he had given enough information to satisfy his brother but deep down he knew that there was no way that that was going to happen.
"God Sam, what were you doing taking on five guys on your own? Dad would kick your ass for doing that, you never go in unprepared, and you know that, you were told enough times." Dean said trying to keep himself under control. There was a part of him that was terrified that Sam would be so willing to sacrifice his own safety.
"I couldn't just leave her; there was no-one else around. Don't give me that crap about going in unprepared, if it was you there instead of me, you would have done the same thing and we both know it." Sam said, not willing to back down on this. He watched as Dean looked away briefly and knew that he was right.
"Fair enough, I probably would have done the same thing but that doesn't tell me how come you didn't tell me this until now. I mean seriously Sam, you end up in hospital and you don't think to call?" Dean asked, needing to hear the explanation directly from Sam. Rebecca had told him that he didn't want to put Dean in the awkward position of telling their Dad or not telling their Dad, but Dean wasn't quite sure if he believed that this was the only reason that Sam hadn't called.
Sam sighed and looked away from Dean. There it was, the question that he had been dreading since this whole thing had started. Funnily enough, knowing it was coming hadn't made it any easier. He was snapped out of his thoughts as Dean continued.
"Look Sam, I'm not here to judge you or give out to you, I just want to know why you didn't feel like you could call us. I mean after everything Sam you are still my brother, Dads son, his youngest. How could you possibly think that we wouldn't want to know?" Dean prompted.
"You walk out that door and turn your back on your brother and me, don't bother coming back." Sam spat, and then paused before looking up and continuing. "I know you say that he didn't mean it, but I remember that night as clear as anything and I remember the look on his face when he said it and it left no room for second chances." Sam replied, and Dean couldn't help but notice the tears that were forming in his little brothers eyes.
"You can't take something that was said in the heat of the moment and let it replace the previous twenty years of being part of a family. You walking out that door didn't make our feelings stop Sam, just because you had left didn't mean we didn't care what happened to you. That we wouldn't want you to be safe." Dean pleaded, needing Sam to understand.
"I know that Dean, but Dad gave me a choice and I left. I knew walking out the door that I was on my own and that meant taking the good with the bad. How hypocritical would it be for me not to contact you when everything is going well and as soon as something bad happens I'm straight on the phone looking for ya to bail me out?" Sam asked, struggling to continue looking at his brother.
This was getting very uncomfortable for Dean, he really did not want to relive one of the worst nights of his life, and especially not from Sam's point of view. To hear his brother say that he knew walking out the door meantthat he was on his own, upset him more than he would admit to anyone. He spent his whole life looking out for his brother, yet when it really mattered, he had let Sam go out into a dangerous world, feeling cut off and isolated from his family. Getting up from his position on the bed, he moved to the end of the bed and looked at his brother.
"Something bad Sam is when you run out of money and can't buy books, something bad is when you have ran out of rent money and have to kip on someone else's floor. You could have died Sammy, and we didn't know, wouldn't have known cause you didn't even have us listed as your emergency contact with the college." Dean responded, pleading with his brother to understand where he was coming from.
"I couldn't call you Dean, if I had you would have either had to lie to Dad about where you were going or you would have told him; and I know you Dean, you would have told him. I couldn't deal with that Dean, I couldn't have Dad coming to Stanford and saying "I told you so". Ok, I know it's stupid but I just couldn't face him and have him think that he was right, that I was too incompetent to look after myself." Sam sighed, again turning his eyes away from his brother.
"God, Sam he wouldn't have thought that, he would have just been concerned……" Dean tried to reason with his brother, but was cut off as Sam's head snapped back around to face him.
"Yes he would Dean, we both know it. Can you honestly say that at some point he wouldn't have had a dig at me about it; some little comment about how I couldn't look after myself, how he had told me that I wouldn't be able to last on my own? I know Dad cares Dean, and I know that he would have wanted to come but we both know that once he knew I was ok he would have taken the opportunity to say that it was time that I went back with you guys. Dean, I didn't think I would have been strong enough to say no to him then." Sam sighed and Dean realised that there was something else going on.
"Sam, why wouldn't you have been able to say no, I mean you had settled in Stanford, you had Jess and your friends, you had a lot more waiting on you then than you did the first time you left?" Dean asked, unsure where this was going.
"I missed you, alright. I missed both of you. When I told Dad about Stanford I never thought that he would make me choose between my family and my dream. I made my decision that night mainly because I was too stubborn to back down, I just couldn't let him win, couldn't let him dictate how I was going to live my life. But Dean, have you any idea what it is like to be on your own with nobody to talk to. I went to Stanford and I didn't know anybody, I had no one to talk to until I met Zach. I had spent my entire life with you and Dad and then all of a sudden I hadn't got either of you." Sam replied.
"I thought you were happy Sam." Dean was regretting starting this. To see Sam bare his soul like this was upsetting; but he realised that Sam needed this, in order for their relationship to get back on track and get over the stumbling block that was Stanford; this needed to be said in order for both of them to move on.
"I was happy Dean and I loved Stanford; it was everything that I imagined and more. But there was always a black cloud hanging over me because it was like you and Dad had died. I know that sounds dramatic, but I was cut off from the two most important people in my life, I couldn't talk to you and I couldn't go back. I knew that if Dad came, he would order me to leave Stanford and get back in the hunt and I honestly didn't know if I was offered a chance to be part of your lives again that I could say no." Sam seemed to slouch further in the bed as he said this.
"I don't know what to say Sam." Dean had been totally blindsided by his brother's revelation. How could he not have realised that Sam could have felt that way. He had always believed that Sam had gotten what he wanted all along when he went to Stanford, never recognising that Sam had actually made a sacrifice.
"There's nothing to say, I mean it doesn't matter now does it. Seems like yellow eyes decided to take things out of our hands. I am sorry that I didn't tell you though, but don't think I didn't want you there, you and Dad both, cause I did, I just wasn't ready." Sam said.
"It's ok Sam, the most important thing now is that we get you back fighting fit and we find Dad. Although I have to say when we do find him, you are on your own cause I am so not telling him about this. In fact when you do tell him, give me a heads up so I can be in a different state!!" Dean said, his trademark smirk making a comeback.
"Sure you will Dean, I know you won't let me face the wrath of John Winchester on my own, I mean you never did before." Sam replied, a smile coming to his face.
"Oh, don't try to sweeten me up know Sam, and don't even think about playing the puppy dog eyes, I think you need to save that for when you are telling Dad."
Dean watched as Sam's laugh turned into a yawn.
"Anyway dude, I'm going to go and get something to eat, give you a chance to rest and if you are a really good boy I might even bring you back a treat!"
"Bite me!" Sam said as his eyes began to close.
"Bite you, why would I bite you when there is a cute little nurse waiting for me down the hall? Catch ya later Sammy." Dean said as he walked out the door to the sound of his brother laughing.
SN
Two days later Sam was released from hospital with strict instructions that he needed to rest for at least another two weeks. Knowing Sam's drive to find their Dad and find the demon that killed Jessica, Dean made the decision to head to Bobby's, knowing that between the two of them they should be able to confine Sam long enough to get him fighting fit again. It was on the way there that Dean pulled out a few photos he had gotten from Rebecca from Sam's time at Stanford and threw them to his brother.
"Now I was just wondering if you could explain those to me? I have to say that I am especially interested in your explanation of why you are asleep in the middle of a field in nothing but your boxers and a very bored looking cow to keep you company!?"
Dean couldn't help but laugh at the look of horror on his brother's face. This was going to be good.
The End
Please Please Please read and review. I hope this is what people were looking for.