He left, simple as that. He left. That….that goddamn Naruto left! I blinked a couple times to stop the wave of tears climbing up my throat and choking me. I clenched my hands and my nails dug into my sweating palms, pain taking place. I would rather feel a tiny, insignificant sting than the sadness that he left. I looked at Tsunade, who stared me down with her hands folded and near her mouth,

"Sakura…we are who we are. This is the life of a shinobi."

She was right, this was the oath we took, and this was the responsibility placed upon our shoulders, the weight bearing down on us ever since we first stepped into the grounds of the academy. We may owe our lives to this village, and protect it with all of our strength and love, but couldn't just once we step outside of that? Think not of the village as a whole, but the people you love individually? Couldn't Naruto just see that? He may have a damn suicide mission, but all I could ever want is one last kiss, one more chance to tell him I love him! Couldn't Naruto see that? I shook my head but stopped myself,

"I know."

Tsunade closed her eyes, knowing what it felt like, having known it all too well herself, "I'm sorry."

I became interested in the medical poster on her office wall to stop another wave; I couldn't look at her when she said that. She said it not to say sorry about him leaving without telling me but to say sorry that he was never coming back, he wasn't going to stay. Chances were slim, very slim. And I only could pray and hope. That was all I could do. I felt weak thinking that fact, I was here and he was there. I couldn't help him.

I backed up, "Excuse me."

Before she could ask me of anything else or give any more heart wrenching news I slipped out of her office and ran out of the Hokage's building. I met the cold outside and stopped abruptly staring into the blinding white sky as snow fell around me. One touched my nose and I flinched slightly, a breath of hot air coming out in a puff.

I looked away and wrapped my green scarf around my neck for warmth, shoving my bare hands into my pockets and walking towards my apartment, ours really. And his stuff was still in there. His clothes that smelled of him, his presence was still lingering. I stared at my dark wooden door, unable to turn the handle and feel him there. I sighed.

Instead I took a short cut to the edge of the woods, snow covering the stone path way until it disappeared as the tall evergreens came into view. Snow covered them like sugar, icicles hung dangerously and I walked deeper into the woods until I couldn't see the village and I hid under a large evergreen as the sun set. The branches smelled strong of pine and some tickled my shoulders, but I brought my knees to my chest hugging them as if my life depended on it and my head buried in my lap.

Coldness sunk into my skin and through my bones that night and my tears froze, but I wouldn't let anybody see me like this. I wasn't going to be weak ever again, not like I was in the past, I was Sakura Haruno. Medical ninja, apprentice of the strong Tsunade, disturbing strength, and Naruto's love. I knew him better than anyone. He had to come back, he just had to.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

It's nearing the end of winter now; it's been a couple months after that day. I don't know how, but I seemed to live through the days and weeks even though they were mountains for me. I was almost thankful I worked in a hospital with harsh hours and sometimes extra shifts. This way I could focus on everyone, anyone but me. I regretted coming home, because then I had time to think, and let my thoughts flow, as much as I tried not to.

I tried not to think about him anymore, at all, I tried but I often failed. One day I couldn't take it and I shoved everything he owned into an unused closet of mine and it's been shut ever since. I washed my sheets of his smell and erased anything of him. But I couldn't from my mind. As much as I locked that closet door or washed my bed, I still loved him. I felt ashamed of myself. I hid him from myself.

I sat at my small dining room table, books scattered around me and only the chandelier overhead on. It was dark out, even if it wasn't that late, but it felt late to me. Exhaustion filled my body from the work day and I sat wrapped in a blanket on a chair slowly slumping over the table.

My eyes closed for a second before my head hit the heavy medical book and sleep took over…

My eyes snapped open as I felt someone carrying me, their arms tightly holding me to them. My instincts kicked in and I snapped my arm at their neck causing a brief second of both surprise and loss of breath. They dropped me and I backed up, grabbing a kunai from my back pocket, crouching low and ready to strike, but I stopped.

I was still in my dining room, the light still on and books' toppling over each other on the table…except someone was standing there, rubbing their neck in pain. I stood up straighter letting my arms drop, I squinted to see who it was,

"….Naruto," I breathed it in disbelief.

He stood there, plain as day in the middle of my dining room, as if he never left. He had scratches on his face, but his clothes were in order, and clean too. I shook my head slightly,

"I…I...Don't..." I had no words, I felt like I was choking like the day when he left. And I felt the same as he stood in front of me.

He took a step near me, "I didn't mean to wake you. I was going to put you to bed," he said so simply, like the months he was gone never occurred.

Then as if everything I had held and built inside a perfect wall broke, I broke. I covered my face with my hands and my legs gave out. I bent over hiding my face and sobbed, I felt him over me hugging me and shushing me, "I'm so sorry Sakura."

I shook my head and he lifted me slightly so my head leaned against his chest and his arms wrapped around me, "I never meant to hurt you, but I had to, you know that."

I looked up with wet eyes, "But you just left! You never said goodbye!"

Naruto looked down in guilt, "I know."

I shook my head, "I don't care, I don't care, you're alive!"

I flung my arms around his neck and clung to him my fingers digging into his shirt, his hands holding my waist, "I love you," he whispered into my hair, "I love you," he repeated.

I nodded, "I love you too, Naruto."

He put his hands under my legs and lifted me up, my face still in the crook of his neck and carried me to the bedroom. He crawled in beside me and took my wet face in his hands, wiping my tears with his sleeve, and just like that he kissed me. Our lips were like a puzzle piece fitting perfectly with each other's, my heart fluttered and I wept for a second into his mouth. He brushed my hair,

"It's okay, I'm here this time."

I nodded and I fell asleep in his arms, feeling safer knowing that when I would wake up this time, he would be there. This time he would be there. As a shinobi, you don't always win, people die, and we are surrounded by death. Whether you see your friends die, their lovers die, the people you love die, we are surrounded. It is a never ending war.

But maybe this time I could win. Maybe I could have my happy ending for now, even if it was just for now, maybe just this time, I could win.