A/N: Hey there, guys. Since we're all still waiting for news about the fate of our favorite show, I thought I could upload a little piece that I started last week after I saw the episode. I'm not sure if I like what I wrote but I'll give it to you anyway. It's definitely not my best text, but anyways... maybe I'll upload the next chapter later today (or rather tonight) or tomorrow, I'm not sure yet. :)

Please remember that I'm not a native speaker! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. (unfortunately)

Lisbon stared into the darkness for another while, a silent tear finding its way down her cheek. The bag from the Italian restaurant suddenly seemed heavy in her hands. He'd obviously intended to share it with her, not to bring it for her and Marcus. Maybe he'd even planned on telling her something different than what he'd said in the end. Maybe… it was stupid to even think about it. If he'd really wanted her to stay because he felt something for her he would have told her already, wouldn't he? Then again, she knew Jane. And she knew how hard it must be for him to admit something like that. Deep inside of her she knew that there was something. She could tell by the looks he gave her sometimes and by the way he looked at Marcus and how he talked about him.
She understood how hard it was for him, because it was hard for her too. Truth be told, all she wanted was that he'd tell her to stay because he wanted her to. Because he'd miss her. Because he… loved her. She desperately wanted to hear it.
Lisbon knew it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to Marcus, but she couldn't let him go just yet either. He was her safe choice. He was reliable and he would provide her with a good life. Not the happiest she could imagine… but a good one.
She closed her eyes for a few seconds before the turned around to go back inside. Pike would probably notice that she'd cried a bit, but she couldn't help it now. It was all too much to handle.
Noticing her miserable posture, Pike stood up from the couch when she came in.
„Hey, everything alright?" he asked her and came over to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear. That's when he noticed the shiny, little tear in the corner of her eye. She wiped it away hastily, but it was too late.
„What's wrong, Teresa? What did he want?"
Lisbon tried hard to sound stable.
„Uh, he brought us dinner."
„And that's all?"
She shrugged and looked down. Her throat hurt from retained tears.
„Yeah, that's all."
„Somehow it's hard to believe that."
Lisbon but down the food on the small table in front of her couch and said nothing. She couldn't. Instead she sat down on the couch and wrapped the arms around her legs, chin resting on top of her knees.
„Teresa, I need to ask you something."
Pike sat down next to her, one hand softly touching her arm. She looked over to him, a bit anxious about what it might be.
„Did you and Jane ever…? Were you ever involved?"
„What? No. No." she said, voice sounding slightly too high. Unfortunately not, she added in her head without even wanting to.
„Are you sure?"
„Yes, I am." she answered, a bit angry at the question.
„Did you ever want to be involved with him?"
There was a pause. She wondered if she should be honest with him. But in the end she owed him at least that much.
„Yes."
Pike took a deep breath. „So you were in love with him?"
„Yes."
„Are you still?"
Another pause.
„I… I'm… I don't know…" she stuttered. It was a lie. Obviously.
„Teresa, please. Do you love him?"
Lisbon closed her eyes. It was over, she knew it. She couldn't lie to him now, it just wouldn't work. And she knew he wouldn't accept it just like that. She would lose him.
„I do." she whispered. „I love him."
It was the first time she'd ever said it out loud and it was overwhelming. The undeniable truth washed over her and she wasn't able to push it back anymore. It was over. The realization was all over her brain and heart now.
„I wish I wouldn't. I… god, I hate it. He's such a dick head and a jerk and he's the most messed up man I ever met, but he's… he's wonderful. He makes me smile, he always did. He always knows what I want or need… and despite everything else I fell irreversibly in love with him at some point. I don't even know when anymore. It just happened."
„And he loves you back." Pike said with resignation.
„Mhm, I'm not sure about that."
„He does. It's obvious. You should tell him, Teresa. You deserve to be happy and I think he's the only one who can truly do that for you. You two know each other so well. 12 years is a lot of time. I could never compete with that."
„I'm so sorry." she said, now silently crying.
„Don't be. I just had the wrong timing and bad luck to chose a woman who's already found the love of her life. That's life, Teresa. Just promise me that you'll be happy. Stop holding back."
„I'll try my best." She tried to smile confidently, but it was hard. So hard.
Marcus stood up and leaned down do kiss her forehead.
„I wish you the best, Teresa."
„You, too." Marcus nodded sadly and went to gather his stuff.
Ten minutes later he was gone and Lisbon spent the night crying bitterly on her couch.

When she came into the office the next day she looked miserable. At some point she'd fallen asleep on her couch, but her dreams were unsettling and not resting at all. Her eyes were red from all the tears, contrasting the dark circles beneath them.
And of course she ran into Jane first thing that morning. He watched her closely, a concerned look on his face.
„12 years and I've never seen you like that. What happened?" he said while he prepared tea and coffee in the small office kitchen.
„You should know, you're the psychic in this room after all."
„You know I'm not. I have an idea, though."
Lisbon sighed and massaged her forehead with on hand.
„Marcus broke up with me."
Jane had had a foreboding, but knowing it for sure was still surprising. He almost dropped the box with coffee powder.
„Well, that came unexpected. It was obvious that he adored you. What happened?"
„What do you think what happened?"
„I have to admit that I have no clue." Lisbon couldn't even tell if he was lying. Could he really be so blind?
„Well, I think he didn't want to spend his life as second choice."
Lisbon looked him directly into the eyes. She was just sick and tired of the game he was playing, she didn't even care anymore to give away what she was thinking or feeling. It didn't matter anymore anyway, did it? She was too tired to keep up a facade.
„I'm sorry that he felt that way."
„Well, he had every right to."
Jane swallowed and turned away from her to continue making tea. He knew exactly what she was implying and he had a feeling that they had a serious talk coming up very soon. Problem was, he didn't really know if he was ready for that. At least she wouldn't leave to DC… one threat less hanging in the air. Taking a deep breath, he turned around and handed her a cup of coffee.
„I really am sorry. I meant what I said, I really want you to be happy."
Then he leaned down to leave a quick kiss on her forehead, one hand buried in her hair at the back of her head. Lisbon held her breath, truly stunned at his gesture. He'd never kissed her in any way before.
When he leaned back, he gave her an compassionate smile before he disappeared into the direction of his couch. Lisbon had to held on to the counter to keep herself from collapsing. Sometimes she just wished she could read his mind.
Fischer came in then, raising an eyebrow at her obviously miserable state.
„Don't ask." Lisbon said and Fischer just shrugged.
„People say that you and Pike broke up?"
„How fast can this even get around? Unbelievable."
„So it's true?"
Lisbon closed her eyes for a few seconds, massaging her temples.
„I take that as a yes." Fischer leaned next to her against the counter, a cup of steaming coffee in her hands.
„To be honest, I never really saw you with Agent Pike anyway. It just seemed to be wrong. I always thought you and Jane…"
„Me and Jane what?"
„Well, you said you two weren't involved and I believe you, but that doesn't mean that there's nothing between you, right?"
Lisbon just sighed. Was it really that obvious?
„You are in love with him." It wasn't a question.
Teresa gave her colleague an indignant look, then sighed again.
„Is it that obvious?"
„There's a bet going on about who of you two idiots will first say something."
„Really?"
„Yeah, and the pool is growing every day."
„Oh dear…"
„Cho said there's already been a bet at the CBI about the two of you."
Lisbon just shook her head in disbelief and took a sip from her coffee. That whole thing was so humiliating. And frustrating. And ridiculous.

Abbott already waited for Lisbon at her desk, a thick file in his hands. That could only mean work and she really wasn't in the mood. Sighing, she put her cup down on her desk and looked at him inquiringly.
„I need you and Jane to investigate this case." he put the file down in front of her. „We suspect a few couples to regularly smuggle various substances to Mexico. Two of them are based in Sacramento and since Jane and you lived there for a long time it's best if I give the job to you. Your flight is set for 2pm. You can leave to pack now and I'll brief the three of you via Webcam when you're there."
„Yes, sir." was all she said. That was probably the last thing she needed now. A long journey to the city that would not only bring up good memories. With Jane.
„Looks like we're going on vacation." Jane said right behind and she startled. She hadn't even realized that Abbott was gone.
„It's still a job, Jane."
„We can have some fun back home, I'd call it vacation. Just like old times."
„Mhm."

„See you at the airport." Jane squeezed her shoulder before he left the office. A shiver went down her spine and left goosebumps on her arms. At least she would have an opportunity to talk to him… if she was able to bring up the courage.