INTRODUCTION:
I lay on the hard cold ground. Just moments before the darkness finally consumes me, I see glimpses of people passing, just passing by me, not even bothering themselves to look at poor little me or even calling for help. Even if there were instances that our eyes would meet, I could see in their eyes the way they look at me with outmost disgust and pity and would look away like there was nothing there. I don't blame them, after what I've done I too can't easily forgive myself. If I only done things differently I might not be in this pitiful state right now, if….huh? Just moments before my death the only thing I can do is regret. Regret the path that I took, regret the things I've done and regret the things that I couldn't do while there was still time. Maybe if I weren't so arrogant back then maybe things could have change. Maybe if I just didn't met on that faithful day maybe I couldn't have hurt him so much. Or even if I had just told him the truth before it was too late maybe he could have save me from this horrid faith of mine? Maybe he could have forgiven me even after what I've done? And maybe, just maybe he could love me back again and we could have a happy life together.
Forgiveness? Love? Happiness? I don't deserve any single one of those. My face feels wet? Tears? I am crying at how pitiful my current state is. If he can only see me now, he would be laughing at my pitiful state and he will say that I deserve this.
I think I could have died happy. If the world would let me see him one more time and ask forgiveness. But nooo….the world is just a little too cruel sometimes. The more I rethink what I said earlier the more I realize that I'm becoming my arrogant self again. I really do have a bad habit of blaming others for my own mistakes.
I don't know where you are right now but please hear me out for the last time
"I always have loved you, just you and only you. So could you please forgive me? And could you let me stay by your side one more time?"
Just before death calls me to repent for my sins, a man stood in front of me, I wanted to see his face even If I am about to die, after all he was the only one to bothered himself with little me. But before I was able to see his face darkness consumed my sight.
Regrets...So many regrets...Why did I let this all happen? One minute I had such a wonderful life (maybe not that wonderful) and in the next minute everything just went wrong