(Inspired by Gray (a SnK EreMika Oneshot), by Pia_Okumura, 76626470-gray-a-snk-eremika-one-shot-gray/page/8)
Death, Mikasa concluded, wasn't that bad.
The final moments had been agonizing as hell, of course. The pain of her broken bones, her thoughts rushing like a panicking stampede - "I'm dying I'm actually dying what how could this happen where is Eren where is he Eren is he safe" - and an unpleasant coldness creeping into her body as she bled out.
But then there had been nothing. No pain, no fear, nothing. Nothing but the knowledge that she was, not as a human, but as a consciousness. For a while, she floated around in the darkness. It was… pleasant. She had nothing to worry about anymore, nothing to care about. And frankly, even she'd had anything that required her concern, Mikasa just wanted to sleep.
The next time she was conscious, she wasn't sure how long she had been out, or even if she even slept, or just ceased to be for a while. She should have worried about that, but Mikasa's thoughts were cloudy. She felt pleasantly warm, and her memories of her death were fuzzy and unclear. She fell asleep again.
The third time Mikasa awoke, she wasn't sure who she was anymore. She had vague memories of a life before the darkness. Memories of violence and blood, and a brown-haired boy with unusually clear, teal green eyes. He had a name, as well, a name that was etched into her memories like a scar.
Eren.
If she'd had a mouth, Mikasa would have said it out loud, tasted every single one of the few syllables. It was a strong name, or the person who answered to it was strong. Mikasa wasn't sure. Maybe it was both.
Eren.
He wraps the the red scarf, still warm, around her, almost as if he's trying to hide her from the unspeakable things that happened less than an hour ago. Her parents lifeless bodies on the floor. The blood gushing out of the first man's throat. The brown haired boy, screaming and stabbing the the second man again and again, until he stopped moving. The third man, lifting the brown haired boy from the floor, choking him. Her own moment or realization. The moment when she stopped trembling. The moment when her body moved inhumanly fast, and slew the man with one thrust of the knife.
Eren.
They are standing outside the house, and Mikasa is feeling cold. So cold. As if she's never going to feel warm again. She has to go home. She says so to the brown haired boy and his father, but instead of sending her on her way, the brown haired boy takes off his scarf, and wraps it around her. It's still warm, and when he gives her the promise of a home, and a family, in the shape of an outstretched hand, the cold is expelled - banished - from her body forever. The instant Mikasa's hand touches his, she knows that she will never truly be able to let go.
Eren.
They tell her that he's dead, and she has to repeat what they just said in her head to truly comprehend what they mean. In her world, he is the sun, and now that he's gone - his life extinguished - her little zone of comfort is freezing over. Her blood seems to be running cold, and Mikasa feels like her limbs are crackling with ice when she moves them.
She raises her blade above her head, attempting to rally the others with empty words. When she takes off from the roof, she can't care less if they follow her or not. She has no intention of reaching the headquarters. If she can take down a few of the monsters before she is killed and devoured, then she will be content. Nothing matters anymore.
Eren.
In her weakest moment, in the moment when she has given up - when she's welcoming the embrace of death, even - his voice comes to her, and reminds her of things she has almost forgotten. Things that returns meaning to her life, even though it will be mind-numbingly painful without him. Things that return to her her the will to fight, no more than that, the urge to survive. If she doesn't live to remember him, then who will?
Eren.
The strange, now armless titan falls over. The second it hits the ground, it begins to dissolve, and the familiar white vapors begin travelling towards the sky in an upward spiral. Mikasa sees something emerge from the titan's body, half hidden among the vapors. Her heart almost stops when she realizes that it's a human. A brown-haired male.
Eren.
Her body moves on its own, ignoring the distressed cries of the others. There is only one thing in her mind, and that thing - that person - is still far too many metres away for her to be comfortable. She lands badly, tripping over her feet in her eagerness to touch him, to confirm that this is real. That he's alive.
She puts her ear to his chest - please please please please - and when she hears the sound of his heartbeat, it feels like she's struck by lightning, almost as if she's shocked back to life. She was willing to fight for her life before, but now her life has regained true meaning again.
So Mikasa cries, for the first time since her parents were murdered. She cries in relief, in happiness, in fear of what would have happened if his heart wouldn't have been beating. She cries, because in this beautiful and cruel world, he's still alive.
Eren.
In the darkness, the consciousness that was Mikasa suddenly noticed another presence, the light of another soul. It floated before her like a teardrop - no, not a teardrop, a drop of pure sunlight - and next to its radiance, the darkness suddenly began to feel suffocating. She wondered if she could reach out to it somehow, more out of plain interest than anything else. But the voice of the other soul reached her before she could even try to do anything.
Mikasa.
It was his voice, Mikasa was certain. The brown haired boy with the teal green eyes. The name. The one that stirred all her memories of being alive. It was him.
Eren.