To Pee Or Not To Pee
House walked into the hospital bathroom to find Wilson standing at the urinal. He briefly considered turning around and walking straight back out again, Wilson always defied men's room etiquette and tried to conduct a conversation with him whilst peeing. He stared momentarily at Wilson's broad shoulders and the fine baby hairs splayed over the nape of his neck, suddenly overwhelmed by the need to touch him.
"Are you going to stand there staring at me all day? Or are you going to pee?" Wilson inquired without turning around, amusement evident in his voice.
House moved over to the urinal, propped his cane up against the wall and unzipped his jeans. A few seconds passed during which House wondered exactly how much liquid Wilson had consumed to keep going for so long.
"How is your patient doing?" Wilson glanced at House.
"No, no, no. No talking whilst the ride is in motion. Did you never get a copy of the peeing rules?" House huffed in frustration then returned the glance and smiled at Wilson despite himself.
Wilson finished, flushed and walked over to the sinks to wash his hands while House tried to take advantage of the silence. He concentrated on relaxing, trying to ignore Wilson's presence, sighing with relief as he started to pee. Suddenly he felt soft lips kiss the sensitive skin behind his ear and Wilson's body plastered firmly to his back. "You know this could be why I have trouble peeing." House tried to shake Wilson off but only resulted in wetting his sneakers.
Wilson's laugh echoed around the bathroom, followed by a loud smack as he brought his palm down hard on House's denim covered ass, running before House could retaliate. "No more sex for you!" He shouted at Wilson's back as he left the room, then concentrated on images of waterfalls, babbling brooks and revenge.