Edited on April 23, 2015: So I went to post this on A03 because I saw there was a decently sized Warrior community there too, so why not? When I posted it I saw the red-squiggles and thought, oh silly me, must of missed it while editing.
It was not just one. Dear god, how did you all read it with all the spelling errors there were? I'm surprised my inbox and reviews weren't flooded berating me for my awful spelling. I didn't even attempt to change the prose...that's a task even I'm not going to try taking on XD
So please enjoy this edited and hopefully error-free version. I will be going in to all my others chapters and fixing them too.
My name is Honeypaw. I'm a loyal cat of ThunderClan. I going to be a warrior soon, and I'm in love.
Everyone said that the tom I liked wasn't worth padding after. But I didn't listen, nor did I care. Because I knew differently. I knew Berrynose was a tom worth padding after.
In my mind, I had always imagined falling in love with someone different. Someone clan born, maybe? But no one can change the paws of fate when their already leading you somewhere. I remember that I had a small crush on Lionpaw. Who didn't? Maybe that's why I stopped liking him, because it seemed every she-apprentice mooned over him. They don't anymore, but I remember I used to be transfixed with him in a way that I brought as true love. But then again, that's what they all say now.
They all moved on...I think. Well, at least I knew my sisters did. I wasn't sure about Hazeltail though. Cinderpaw- Cinderheart now- seemed to decide not to skip to far. It was easy to see that she liked Jayfeather, even if she rejects the idea. Sometimes I wonder who's really blind. How my sister could love that grumpy tom, I didn't know.
Poppyfrost seems to have taken a liking for Foxpaw, although he's way younger. But age is but a number, I remember my mother telling us once when we asked how her and our father could be so far apart in age. I was lucky my tom was nearly my age.
I couldn't stop thinking about Berrypaw...his creamy fur and bright green eyes burned into my brain. In my opinion, he was the best cat in ThunderClan! But would anyone listen when I tried telling them that? No. Instead they looked at me like I was crazy. So I tried not to talk about him. And I tried actually talking to him more.
He treated me like a little kit sometimes, but I didn't care. If this is what it would take to make him notice me, I was fine. I think that Brambleclaw got annoyed with me talking about him so much that he just started putting us on patrols together.
But then Berrypaw became Berrynose. I yowled his name the loudest. I couldn't believe MY Berrynose was a warrior. I couldn't wait for my day to come. I couldn't wait until we could be warriors together...that's when we would really be able to become mates.
Berrynose stopped talking to me after he became a warrior. It hurt. But I never stopped loving him. I could see that Mousewhisker started taking to me more often, but just talking to him made me feel like I was betraying Berrynose. So I tried to stay away from his brother as much as possible...until I noticed something.
For a long time I lay in my nest awake while all the other apprentices were dreaming, just thinking. Wondering when it would be the day that Berrynose would notice me. I prayed to StarClan many times. I had forgotten all about my kit fantasy now, and it didn't matter one bit he was born a loner. Because he's a true ThunderClan cat now, loyal to his clan.
I just wished he was loyal to me as well.
After I became Honeyfern and I noticed the pained look in Berrynose's expression when I started talking to his brother Mousewhisker more. I had a flicker of hope that the day of my warrior ceremony was the day that StarClan had answered my prayers.
And I was right, sort of.
The day after a bunch of cats left to go save the Tribe, Berrynose talked to me. I had been sleeping, dreaming about the beautiful kits he and I would have. That was all I ever dreamed about. There had been a sharp prod in my side and I had snapped my head up irritably.
"Who do you think you are!" I had snapped, my eyes groggy with sleep, "It's not even dawn yet!" That's when I realized Berrynose was the cat who had woken me.
"Berrynose!" I squeaked Berrynose nodded.
"Shh..." He whispered, his half-tail flicking toward my sleeping clanmates.
I nodded, and got up, giving my stomach fur a few self-conscious licks.
"Can I talk to you?" He whispered to me, and indicated for me to follow him. I got up numbly, wondering if I was still sleeping. He led me to the entrance of the camp, nodding to Spiderleg as he passed.
"You two are up late." Spiderleg commented.
"We couldn't sleep." Berrynose lied, "We decided to do a bit of hunting." Spiderleg nodded, letting us pass without another word.
"Where are we going?" I whispered to the warrior.
"We're almost there." Berrynose meowed, turning around and slowing his pace until he was padding just a few steps in front of me. He brought me to the Sky Tree, settling down in between the roots of the high tree. Above me the stars of SilverPelt shone brightly.
"Honeyfern," Berrynose started slowly, his green eyes glowing in the darkness.
"Yes?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level.
"I'm asking you this for a request from Mousewhisker." Berrynose started uneasily, his paws scuffling on the dirt. My heart dropped to the end of my tail.
"Mousewhisker?" I felt my throat tighten, and my mouth go dry.
"Yes-"
"What's so important you had to drag me all the way out here for?" I snapped at him, in no mood to hear whatever love message Berrynose's brother had sent.
"I didn't want anyone to hear this," Berrynose answered and I saw a plead in his eyes, "Please just listen to what I have to say!" I hadn't realized I had been standing up but I sat back down, bringing my tail over my feet.
"Go on." I asked warily.
"Mousewhisker wants to know if...you like him?" His question made my heart beat fast. I didn't answer. I saw the pain in Berrynose's eyes, like a fire slowly dimming down to ashes.
"Oh..." Berrynose blinked, turning his head away as if to hide the hurt.
"Oh what?" I asked quietly.
"Mousewhisker will be pleased." Berrynose answered, his voice so low I had to strain to hear it, "That's all...I guess you can go back to sleep now." He mumbled and got up, and started walking away.
Watching him leave, his ears low and face dropped, it felt like my heart was being torn into a million parts and being scattered all over the forest.
"Did you want a different answer?" I called out to Berrynose. I saw his ear twitch and he stopped, looking back. His eyes were a bit misty.
"Yes." He whispered, his eyes blank with pain. Then he turned around. I was left stunned. I couldn't force myself to get up and pad after him, I could only let him go. I watched as my salty tears hit the ground beneath me.
After that night, I tried to talk to Berrynose and tell him my real answer, but he stayed a distance away from me, purposely avoiding me. It hurt me. He must have told his brother though, because Mousewhisker had been a lot more affectionate with me. I tried to like Mousewhisker but I couldn't. He was the wrong sibling.
It had been a moon before I got a chance to talk to him. Right before the battle where the sun disappeared. I caught him hunting alone, and I jumped at the moment.
"Berrynose!" I hissed, and he jumped as I padded from the fronds and ferns.
"Honeyfern." His voice was a low growl, "What are you doing here?" He asked.
"It's ThunderClan territory," I pointed out, "I have a right to be here."
"I guess." He hissed, turning away from me. I raced up beside him.
"What do you want? Here to tell me that you and Mousewhisker are having kits or something?" He hissed scornfully.
"Where'd you get that idea?" I asked, completely taken off guard.
He shrugged, "You seem to be so close now, the whole clan's expecting it." He answered, and I picked up the sour tang of jealousy.
"No...not at all!" I shook my head, "I wanted to talk to you for something else."
"Get on with it!" He spat looking at me, "I have hunting to do."
I braced myself but Berrynose cut me off, "Let me guess- you in your perfect little world is sad about something, so you think that because we were friends before I can help you." Berrynose asked, his shoulders shaking as he talked, "But your wrong. I'm not your friend...I wouldn't want to be anyways." He hissed and I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I felt tears.
"Is that how you feel?" I whispered, and Berrynose nodded.
"Fine...then you'll never hear my real answer!" I hissed, turning on my heels. I didn't wait around for Berrynose to ask what I had meant. He do what he wanted now, I didn't care.
On the way back to camp, I nearly collided with Mousewhisker.
"Honeyfern!" He sounded pleased to see me. I looked at him, and his eyes suddenly became concerned, "Are you okay?" He asked. I sat down and he sat down beside me. I pushed my muzzle into his fur. I wanted to forget all about Berrynose. I wanted to forget ever liking him, I wanted to forget that he ever existed.
"I'm fine." I assured him gently, and pushed my quivering body against his. Mousewhisker curled his tail around my body, purring as he gently licked my fur.
"I love you, Honeyfern." He rasped in between licks. I wanted to say it back to him, with my whole body and soul. But the words caught in my throat and I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I felt stupid. Mousewhisker obviously didn't need any words in return, but suddenly it felt like the weight of the world was crashing down on me.
My whole body shook as I fought back tears.
"Honeyfern?" Mousewhisker had stopped grooming me, and I couldn't look him in the eye. I got up, stepping away.
"I can do this anymore.." I whispered quietly, and then I looked up, "I'm s-sorry M-mousewhisker...but I can't live a lie." I stuttered. Mousewhisker looked confused but then understanding spread across his face.
"You love Berrynose..." It was not a question, but more of a statement as he looked at me. I nodded feebly, and he hung his head, "I was hoping...never mind. I'm just sorry." Mousewhisker started back to camp, before licking me on the ear once, "I hope you and Berrynose work out." He mewed sincerely. And then he left, without a complaint or whine.
It was awkward been me and Mouswhisker after that, but he never seemed to have any jealousy that i was in love with his brother. But his brother didn't love me. It was even worse between me and Berrynose. I avoided him this time, and every time I saw him my neck fur rose and my lips curled back in disgust. Bu yet, the little voice inside my head was yowling whenever I saw him. I couldn't just pretend I never loved him, and saying I didn't love him now would be a lie. And I hated lying. Almost as much as I tried to convince myself I hated Berrynose.
A little later, Berrynose approached me in the forest, his face revealing nothing. He carried a mouse, and dropped it at my paws. I nudged the mouse carefully, prodding it with a claw. It was nice and plump- especially plump with leaf-bare on the way.
"What's this?" I asked.
Berrynose blinked, and swallowed nervously, "A peace offering?" He murmured hoarsely. I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain.
"Explain." I prodded when he didn't say anything. He looked up at me, love swirling in his green eyes.
"Mouswhisker told me...everything. I'm sorry...I didn't understand..." He hung his head, "Please give me a second chance." He begged, "What was your answer?"
I paused, pressing my lips together. Did I want to tell him? Did I trust him? More imporantly, did I still love him?
"Let me decide if I want to tell you...after I finish this mouse." I mewed, a glimmer of amusement in my eyes. Berrynose nodded, his eyes full of regret. I tucked into the mouse, enjoying it. I was fully aware of Berrynose the whole time. He sat down a bout a fox length away from me, staring at his paws, his face twisted in pain.
"I never meant to hurt you, Honeyfern." He whispered, although i wasn't sure he was talking to me, "I mean it." I finished the mouse, swiping my tongue over my whiskers.
"Berrynose?" I asked cautiously, and he looked up.
"Before you say anything Honeyfern...I just have to tell you that-" He cut himself off, looking away and shaking his head before he looked back, "That I love you."
I felt tears, not of sadness, but of joy welling in my eyes. I padded over to him, curling my tail with his half of one, pressing against him fondly. I licked his ear tenderly.
"I love you too." I answered back.
Things seemed to go right for me after that. Berrynose and I were happily in love, and the end of leaf-fall seemed to bring lots of plump prey. And plump she-cats as well.
There were a lot of queens in the nursery, and ThunderClan seemed to be full of new life. I dreamed about Berrynose's and mine kits more often now, but I had a reason to. I was having Berrynose's kits. I hadn't told him. I wanted to wait for the perfect moment. It was one of the last sunny days when I decided today was the day to tell him. I was in a happy mood, and everything seemed to go right. But that's the day things went wrong.
Berrynose, Lionblaze and I were over by the sun rocks, waiting our turn. Purdy was there with the other two elders. I didn't hear much of what Lionblaze told them, but what I did hear is that we got to go on the rocks if she got a nice mouse.
"I'll do that!" I offered immediately, and without another word went and found the best mouse for her. The sun rocks would be the perfect place to tell Berrynose about our kits! I laid the mouse at Mousefur's paws and she took it, and the three elders padded away.
I was so caught up in thinking of a way to tell them, I hadn't noticed the two toms were already up there. I scurried after them, and laid down by Berrynose. He licked my fur and I purred tilting my head back against him. I opened my eyes to see Millie's three kits bouncing below us. Berrynose stopped licking and leaned down to whisper something in my ear.
"We'll have kits like that one day." He purred. I blinked up at him, wondering if he knew. But when I opened my mouth, all I could murmur was,
"I'd like that."
"You'll make a wonderful mother." My mate replied, licking my shoulder. I smiled, and looked down at Millie's kits. They were jumping and playing, their paws clumsy as the skidded around the clearing. I watched Briarkit in particular. There was something about that little kit that made my stomach clench. The little brown kit fell next to a crack in the stone and dawdled getting up.
Just as she picked herself up, I saw a smooth shape appear into the sunlight. My fur came on end. It was snake. It's jaws opened right near Brairkit. I saw Lionblaze jumping up, but I was closer and faster.
Jumping off the rock, I pushed the kit aside and swerved around, intending to kill the snake. But then I was hit with a lightning bolt of pain in my shoulder and I saw the snake's fangs sunk into my fur. I leapt backward with a screech of pain.
"Help!"
Berrynose was at my side, and swatted the snake away. It quickly retreated back into the hole, and the world swayed beneath my feet. I fell to the ground, feeling spams of pain rocket through my body.
"Honeyfern!" Berrynose was at my side, nudging me, nosing me, anxiously. I screamed in pain and in fear for my unborn kits, praying for StarClan for the pain to ease. Everyone blurred...except Berrynose. Soon another nose was poking me, or a few. My sister Cinderheart and mother Sorreltail were there. My father stood back and I caught Poppyfrost's scent but then came Leafpool's and Jayfeather's.
Suddenly it felt like fire coursing through me, roaring over my body and taking me over.
"My blood's on fire!" I managed to stutter, my breath coming out short and raw.
"Do something!" I heard Berrynose scream to Leafpool...but she just sat there. Doing nothing. I wanted her to something so the pain would ease. but then I heard her quiet mew as she looked at my sister...
"There is nothing I can do once the venom has taken over her body." She mewed. Berrynose looked about ready to kill her, but he frowned and stayed by my side.
I could feel the pain and myself ebbing away, and I was afraid. Everything was replaced by a black wave of darkness, and I could hear the whispering voices of StarClan clearly now, welcoming me to their ranks.
No! I fought against StarClan's hold, trying to claw my way back down to Berrynose, I need to stay with Berrynose and my unborn kits!
But nothing worked. I fought the strength to open my lips one last time...
"I love you, Berrynose. I'll wait for you in StarClan..." And then I let go. But I heard Berrynose's answer.
"I'll never love another...I love you to." My eyes filled with tears and I bit my lip.
Berrynose was worth padding after.
~*****BerryxHoney*****~
I couldn't believe it when she was dead...I wished it was a dream I would wake up from. I loved her, more than her kin loved her. We had so much more to do in life, I just wish we had realized our love for each other sooner. Than maybe we wouldn't be here...
I could hear the whispers around me after she died, but I refused to listen. How could I? My mind was filled with my mate's last words. I couldn't bear it...I needed to see her! But looking down on her body wasn't enough.
"Berrynose." There was a whisper at my side. I jumped, seeing her father Brackenfur at my side. His eyes were gentle, "Come this way." He murmured, pulling me aside. I wanted to protest...I didn't want to leave her, but I could almost do nothing about it.
He led me to a shadowy part of the camp. I felt numb with pain- almost like I could feel Honeyfern's.
"Did you love her." Brackenfur asked me. I nodded.
"I loved her with my whole body and soul." I answered, feeling hollow on the inside.
"Then I guess I should tell you that Honeyfern was carrying your kits." Brackenfur mewed. A sharp stab in my rib came.
"K...k...kits?" I stuttered. He nodded.
"Yes, Leafpool confirmed it for her and she told me." Brackenfur's eyes became misty, "Jayfeather said there was four...just like when Sorreltail had her kits."
I could do nothing but hang my head in sorrow. Kits? Oh Honeyfern, why didn't you tell me? I would have fought Leafpool to keep you alive.
After that Brackenfur left me in my sorrow, and I was left wondering what to do. I took a nap before I was to keep vigil for her, because I was going to stay up all night.
In my dream I was in a starry forest, and I heard whispers.
"Who's there?" I whispered. The ferns shook and a oh-so- familiar cat padded out from the bushes.
"Honeyfern!" I cried, leaping up and rubbing against her. Her fur was dotted with stars.
"Oh, Berrynose...I never got to tell you but-" I cut her off.
"You were having my kits."
She blinked, dipping her head.
"They are here now, in StarClan." She murmured and four kits came forward.
Two were miniature copies of me and Honeyfern, one was a cream striped tabby, and one was a little tortoiseshell. I felt tears of joy. My kits couldn't be more beautiful!
"You must go now, Berrynose." Honeyfern mewed and I was caught off guard.
"What? Why!"
"Because your clan mates will miss you." There was genuine regret in her voice. I shook my head wildly.
"I don't care!" I declared loudly, "I would rather be here with you than there."
"Oh Berrynose..." Honeyfern murmured, running her tail over my flank, "It's not your time yet."
"When is it?" I persisted.
"I don't know...but please...don't waste your life because of me."
"You are my life."I answered, feeling my throat clench painfully.
Honeyfern blinked, and licked my ear tenderly, "Good-bye, my sweet."
Then she started to fade and I dove to grab her, to bring her back down. But she was gone.
"Berrynose?" There was a pain in my nose and I blinked rapidly to see myself in a thorn bush. I reeled back, feeling a sharp pain in my nose. I licked my tongue over it, only to feel the stubby end of a thorn.
"Let me help you with that." A voice crooned. I blinked, swinging my head around to see Poppyfrost beside me. She gave my nose a few licks before locking her teeth around the thorn. She pulled it out, and a gush of warm blood followed.
"Are you okay?" She asked. I felt faint...not because of the blood, but she seemed to very far away. The pain in my nose throbbed, but I realized what hurt the most is waking up to find that Honeyfern was still dead.
"You should go and get some herbs for that." Poppyfrost mewed and looked up.
"The vigil's starting." I mewed, not as a question but a fact. Poppyfrost dipped her head.
"Yes, but really- you should at least get some cobwebs." Her voice sounded a bit worried.
"No way!" I objected, running my tongue over my nose, relived to feel that the bleeding had ceased, "I wouldn't miss a second of Honeyfern's vigil." Poppyfrost smiled slightly before padding away. I followed obediently, taking my place around her.
Everything was tuned out that night. Sorreltail's sobs, Cinderheart's wails, and Poppyfrost's whimperings...the only sound that I could hear was my own steadily beating heart. I should have heard two...mine and Honeyfern's.
As dawn peeked it's way over the horizon, the elders came out to bury Honeyfern. I almost wanted to snatch her limp body away, just to keep her sweet scent with me. But I turned to Poppyfern instead, and she buried her nose in my fur, crying salty tears. I blinked rapidly to clear away the ones that were already forming in my eyes.
Life seemed a blur to me after that. Life went on, even if Honeyfern's didn't. But I did. I never loved anyone as much as I loved Honeyfern...she was on my mind every second. Things changed...seasons, cats around me...the world kept going. Kits turned to apprentices, to warriors...cats fell in love, and every time I saw them it was a bitter reminder of the life that was gone. Dissolved like cobewebs in the rain and cats gradually forgot.
"Berrynose?" My apprentice asked me on the day she became a warrior.
"Yes, Briarpaw?"
"Did you love Honeyfern." I blinked down at the cat. Yes, Bramblestar had given me Brairpaw- the same kit that Honeyfern had saved. It seemed right- in a way. I had taught her to value the life of everything around her, and most importantly to value her own life- and to value the death of the cat who saved her.
"Yes," I answered quietly, "More than anything." I answered quietly. She blinked at me, nodding. I could feel Honeyfern's pelt against me, and I felt a sickness creep over me. Honeyfern hadn't walked in my dreams since the night she died.
"Come one now, you'll be late for your ceremony!" I told Briarpaw and the little brown she-cat purred.
"Then why are we standing around?" And then she darted off. I followed slowly, looking at her paw prints in the dust. When I reached camp, Bramblestar nearly done.
"I do..." I caught the last bit of Briarpaw's words.
"Then from this day forth you will be known as-" Bramblestar was cut off by Brairpaw.
"C...can I choose my own name?" She asked quietly. Bramblestar blinked, "I would like to be Brairfern- in honor of Honeyfern- the cat that died so I can be here."
"A nobel request...yes. You are now, Brairfern."
I felt my heart swell with pride, as I watched Brairfern leap down to as her clan-mates greeted her by her new name.
Are you watching this, Honeyfern? I asked silently.
Things seemed to go by rather quickly after that. And it wasn't long until I found myself in the elders den. I lay there now, the others surrounding me- Poppyfrost, Rosefeather, Jayfeather, and Bumbleclaw. Five kits bounced around us, asking us questions.
"Poppyfrost- did you ever have a mate?" A little ginger kit named Leafkit purred.
"Why, yes I did. His name was Mousewhisker." She answered, shooting a glance to me.
"What happened to him?" A adventure loving kit named Shadowkit asked.
"He...sadly died in a battle against WindClan."
"WindClan is evil." Leafkit hissed, her claws sliding out.
"Now, don't be so judging." Jayfeather argued, his blind gaze sweeping the kits, "My father was the best warrior in the forest and he was a WindClan warrior."
"He was?" A dusty black tom gaped.
"Yes, Crowkit...in fact you were named after him..."
A brown tabby kitten and a white kitten approached Berrynose.
"Did you ever have a mate?" They asked.
"Yes," I purred, and exchanged a sad glance at the cats around me, "Yes, Beaverkit and Coldkit- I did."
"Did'ja love her?" Shadowkit asked.
"Of course!" I asked, licking the little black tom, "Why whould't I?"
"Can you tell us about her?" Leafkit pestered. Poppyfrost came over and laid her graying muzzle on my shoulder.
"She was my sister." Poppyfrost started for me, "Her name was Honeyfern." I felt the familiar clench of my stomach and I felt sick.
"Why don't you tell it, Poppyfrost?" I whispered hoarsely, and she nodded in understanding.
"Of course, she was a beautiful golden brown she-cat..." I didn't hear much else as she continued. Lately, I'd been missing her more than ever.
"Wait!" Deerkit squeaked, "She saved Brairstar from an adder? Our leader Brairstar?"
"The very same." I mewed, "You might hear more from her about Honeyfern if you go and ask nicely." I suggested.
The kits bounced out of the den in a hurry.
"I'm going to ask her!" I heard Crowkit cry.
"No I am.." And then their voices faded away.
"It hurts to hear that story." I commented lightly. Poppyfrost sighed.
"I know what you mean." She agreed quietly. Soon night fell and I slipped off to sleep. I found myself in a star studded forest. I padded into a clearing, and blinked when I saw who was sitting in the middle.
Honeyfern.
"Berrynose!" She cried, embracing me in furious licks and I returned them, purring loudly.
"I've missed you." I whispered and she blinked fondly at me.
"Same here." SHe whispered and intertwined our tails, "I'm here to take you to StarClan." She murmured. I blinked, following her into the darkness.
I knew what I was leaving behind...but Honeyfern was at my side and that's all I cared about. In the morning I knew my clan mates would find me dead in my sleep...and they would be sad. But I was with Honeyfern, and I was in a better place.
Before the darkness took me over, I remembered when I first started liking Honeyfern. Mousewhisker had told me that she was shifty, jumpy, and weird. He had told me Honeyfern wasn't worth padding after. But they were wrong.
Honeyfern is a cat worth padding after.
(Original end writing): So, how was it? HoneyBerry is like my new favorite parring...i cried when she died in the books.
Okay, I'm going to make this a multi-chapter of oneshots. You can either send me your favorite cannon warrior parring or a crack parring (No slash!) I'll do as many as I can. It can be a real or a made up one- you choose! Just tell me in a review!
(new Notes): Still like Berry/Honey. Sigh...I really do miss the old warriors though. The new books just don't have the same feelings...maybe it's because I'm reading them when I'm 20 hmmm...