Author's Note

Disclaimer: Maximum Ride belongs to James Patterson. A lot of these questions and answers are from the actual series (FANG, book six) I added new ones and changed some minor stuff. Don't yell at me for copying, I'm explaining it all to you now.

I had so much fun making this, guys. Made me smile.

If I have time, I plan to do another chapter with Max commenting on each question answer.

Enjoy reading!

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Chilling at home in Colorado O'clock

Yo,
Fang here. Just had to reply to these comments, they were too freaking funny. Never underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains.

From Jess:
FANG.
I've commented on your blog since THE FIRST FREAKING DAY YOU MADE IT. You answer other people's STUPID questions but not MINE.
YOU REALLY ASKED FOR IT, BUDDY.
I'm just gonna comment with this until you answer at least one of my questions.

DO YOU HAVE A JAMAICAN ACCENT?
No, mon.

DO YOU MOLT?
Gross.

WHAT'S YOUR STAR SIGN?
Dunno. "Angel, what's my star sign?" She says Scorpio.

HAVE YOU TOLD JEB I LOVE HIM YET?
No.

DOES NOT HAVING AN EXTRA POWER MAKE YOU ANGRY?
Well, that's not, technically speaking, true…

CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
No.

CAN IGGY DO THE MOONWALK?
Yeah, and it's beast. So can Gazzy.

DO YOU USE HAIR GEL OR ANY OTHER HAIR PRODUCTS TO MAKE YOUR HAIR SEXY?
No. My hair is sexy?

DO YOU SHAMPOO YOUR WINGS WHEN YOU TAKE A SHOWER?
No. I'd rather not be kicking someone's butt with fruity smells coming from my back. No one would take me seriously.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?
There are a lot. I enjoyed Inception, though. And the Matrix. Badassery at its finest.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF MUSIC?
Rock.

WHAT'S THE FLOCK'S FAVORITE MUSICAL GROUP?
A couple of mine are Three Days Grace, Greenday, Breaking Benjamin, etc. Max likes rock too, along with some chick named Sara Bareilles, and Nudge likes Miley Cyrus (gag!) Iggy and Gazzy love rap.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SONG?
Don't have one.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
Max, when she's not covered in blood and/or dirt.

DO THESE QUESTIONS MAKE YOU ANGRY?
No, not really. More like mildly irritated, amused.

IF I WALKED UP TO YOU RANDOMLY AND HUGGED YOU, WOULD YOU KILL ME?
You'd probably get kicked. When you reveal who you are, you'd probably just get kicked again.

DO YOU SECRETLY WANT TO BE HUGGED?
Only by certain people.

ARE YOU GOING EMO BECAUSE YOU'RE FAILING AT SAVING THE WORLD?
Not the emo thing again.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?
Anything served to me fresh and hot by Iggy.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR LUNCH TODAY?
Four turkey sandwiches. Lemonade. Two pieces of apple pie.

DID YOU EVEN HAVE LUNCH TODAY?
See above.

DID YOU DIE INSIDE WHEN MAX CHOSE ARI OVER YOU?
I was still alive, so I think not.

DO YOU LIKE MAX? A LOT?
Yes.

DO YOU LOVE MAX? A LOT?
See above.

DO YOU LIKE ME?
I think you're funny, even if you are a little off-kilter.

DOES IGGY LIKE ME?
Iggy doesn't know who you are.

DO YOU WRITE DEPRESSING POETRY?
No. Ick.

IS IT ABOUT MAX?
Ahh. No.

IS IT ABOUT ARI?
Don't bring up Ari. And no.

IS IT ABOUT JEB?
Why do you assume I write depressing poetry?

ARE YOU GOING TO BLOCK MY COMMENTS?
Clearly not.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
A Perfect Circle t-shirt. Jeans, black Vans.

DO YOU WEAR BOXERS OR BRIEFS?
No freaking comment.

DOES MAX KNOW IF YOU WEAR BOXERS OR BRIEFS?
Again, no freaking comment.

HAS MAX SEEN YOU IN BOXERS OR BRIEFS?
I'm not answering this question.

WHAT BRAND ARE YOUR BOXERS OR BRIEFS?
Why are you obsessed with my underpants?

DID YOU FIND THOSE QUESTIONS PERSONAL?
Personal is an understatement. More like stalkerish.

DO YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES?
Sometimes. Cheap ones.

DO YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT?
Seeing would be tough if I did that.

DO YOU SMOKE COCONUTS LIKE WE DO?
Huh?

DO YOU PREFER BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Max is blonde. You take it from there.

DO YOU LIKE VAMPIRES OR WEREWOLVES?
All fanged creatures rock.

ARE YOU GAY AND JUST PRETENDED TO BE STRAIGHT BY KISSING LISSA? AND BY KISSING MAX?
No.

DO YOU THINK IGGY IS HOT?
I don't play for that team. Ask Ella, she'll tell you.

WOULD YOU TELL US IF YOU WERE GAY?
Yes.

DO YOU LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT?
She's okay, I guess.

DO YOU LIKE BEING CALLED EMO?
No.

ARE YOU EMO?
Do you see me slitting my wrists?

ARE YOU GOTH?
Whatever.

DO YOU LIKE BACON?
Yes. I had bacon for breakfast.

DO YOU LIKE EATING?
Who doesn't love eating? It's a hobby of mine.

HEY, HEY! YOU, YOU! I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! NO WAY, NO WAY! CAN I BE YOUR NEW ONE?
No.

DO YOU SECRETLY THINK YOU'RE THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD?
Are you suggesting that you secretly think I'm the sexiest person in the world?

DOES MAX SECRETLY THINK YOU'RE THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD?
You'd have to ask her.

DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT MAX?
That is classified information I do not disclose to the common public.

HAS ANGEL EVER READ YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WERE HAVING DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT MAX AND GONE "EWW"?
Hahahaha. No. If she did, though, she probably wouldn't say 'eww'. Angel's a creepy kid.

DO YOU LIKE SPONGEBOB?
SpongeBob is a freaking God.

DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT SPONGEBOB?
Oh, yeah, of course.

ARE YOU A GOOD COOK?
Iggy cooks.

DO YOU LIKE COOKING?
I like eating.

IS MAX A GOOD COOK?
You know the answer to that.

DO YOU SECRETLY HAVE INNER TURMOIL?
I thought it was obvious.

DO YOU WANT TO NEVER GROW UP?
I probably won't have the chance to anyway, considering the apocalypse.

DO YOU NOT CARE WHAT EVERYBODY THINKS AS LONG AS IT'S ABOUT YOU?
Whatever.

WHERE DID YOU LEARN HOW TO PLAY POKER?
Online.

DO YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE?
Totally.

OF COURSE YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE. DOES IGGY HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE?
Yeah, but mine's better.

IS IGGY GOOD AT POKER?
He beats me sometimes.

WHICH FLOCK MEMBER IS THE BEST AT POKER?
Angel, hands down.

DO YOU WANT TO BE A BILLIONARE, SO FREAKING BAD?
Sure.

DOES MAX PRETEND AIRPLANES IN THE NIGHT SKY ARE LIKE SHOOTING STARS?
Doubt it. What's the point in doing that anyway?

DOES MAX LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE?
What?

WHY DOES NUDGE TALK SO MUCH?
I don't know. But don't ask her. She'd ramble on for all eternity.

DOES NUDGE HAVE AN OFF BUTTON?
I wish.

DOES GAZZY ALWAYS EAT BEANS AND MEAT? IS THAT WHY HE HAS SO MUCH GAS?
No, he can make a fart storm after eating a bowl of steamed vegetables.

DO YOU LOVE MAX MORE OR THE REST OF THE FLOCK MORE?
They're all my family.

HOW TALL ARE YOU?
Taller than Max.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT MAX?
Everything.

ARE YOU FANGALICIOUS?
I could never be as Fangalicious as you'd want me to be.

Fly on,
Fang