Authors note: Hey. I'm kellyisbeast123. Thanks for checking out my story. Please take nothing I say seriously, because I'm usually joking. Thanks.
Chapter 1:
Out in the forest, a young girl strolled innocently by, followed by her minion, Flynn Rider. He stared in awe at her huge ghetto booty as it rippled when she took a step. He wanted to reach out and grab the huge piece of meat, but his hands stayed where they were, next to his pulsating member. He needed to protect his next batch of tadpoles from dripping down his leg when he ran to the front of her.
"Flynn, why is there a lump in your trousers? Is that normal?" asked Rapunzel inquisitively.
"Why yes! Yes it is! Every man gets it when he is defending someone as beautiful as you Blondie."
"But…. But…. What use is it if it can't be shown to the world? Can I see?" she asked innocently.
"Well, to be completely honest, I don't think the world is ready for something as spectacular as this, and neither are you. For that reason, you aren't allowed to see it!" replied Flynn sternly.
"There is no need to be snappy with me Eugene!"
Rapunzel went off in a strop, as Flynn sat there, head in his hands, wondering why he didn't just pounce on her and do it right there and then. He knows she liked him, and both of them knew he liked her. Hell! Half the kingdom knew that they were the perfect couple for each other. Even if he was a dirty thief that probably had genital warts or some other disease he caught off of the women that lived in the gutter. Somewhere deep down inside of her, she had a distant feeling that he was the one for her.
Sometime later, they were up and walking again, deeper and deeper into the darkness of the forest. Black closed in around them, and they felt isolated and scared.
"Flynn, I'm scared. I don't like it! The tower wasn't this dark. Plus, I'm cold…."
"I'll keep you warm Blondie, don't you worry!"
He seized his chance, and cuddled up to her.
"I'm feeling hot in this shirt, do you want to wear it?" whispered Flynn.
"Yes please, anything that can get me warmer, but are you completely sure?"
"Yeah, don't worry, I'll be alright, I had to survive out here almost every night. I'll be okay."
She allowed him to take his shirt off behind her and slip it on and around her body like a huge blanket. She thought to herself, 'Any excuse to take his shirt off in front of me… dirty scoundrel!'
All of a sudden, both of them woke up to a sudden noise. Either, there was someone else in the forest, or one of them made a weird noise in their sleep, but a noise came from somewhere in the area. Without a second to think about it, an Asian in a wheelchair wheeled himself out of the bushes.
"Yo, ma homie, get ya white un-Asian lanky, bony fingers and thumbs off ma gal!"
Flynn and Rapunzel jumped up in shock.
"WHHHAAAATTTTTT! This is not 'your girl'. She doesn't belong to anyone…. Except me."
"Are you joking? I don't belong to either of you dirty tramps. I belong to myself… And my bike."
"Why ya bike bitch?" shrieked the Asian wheelchair guy.
"Well…. It started when I was 5. I was riding my bike around my tower and BAM! I fell off the bugger. I suddenly had this mind-boggling sensation that ran through my body. I realised I had lost my virginity to my bike. I regularly fall off my bike, even though I can't possibly ride it anymore. It is hard times while having sex. I can't picture anything else except my yellow bike."
The men's faces turned red, and once again, Flynn's, and now the Asian have upright members.
Suddenly, Flynn grabbed hold of the Asian's wrist and dragged him over to him, leaving the wheelchair free. Flynn ordered the Asian to do what he wanted, and he obeyed politely, without a struggle. Momentarily, Rapunzel looked over to see what the fuss was about, and saw the Asian guy, on the floor, in a dog's position, while Flynn was fucking him crazy. She then stared at the wheelchair, mesmerised by the beauty it besieged. She galloped over to it quietly. She sat on it, and slowly rocked herself back and forth, as she sang and her hair lit up. In the distance, against a tree, Flynn had been at work so hard on the Asian, that he had ripped his arse crack a little. As the hair of Rapunzel lightened up, Flynn remembered what she had told him earlier; "My hair lights up when I sing. It also has healing properties."
He whispered something silently in the Asians ear. They advanced towards Rapunzel, throwing her off the wheelchair and onto the floor. As Flynn pinned her down, the Asian wiped his sweaty, man fucked arse on her hair. As usual, the arse crack healed up in magical time.
"Thank you so much Flynn!"
"Why?" said Flynn, confused.
"I have found the meaning of life once more."
As she lay on the floor, the broken metal of the wheel penetrating her vagina, Flynn threw the Asian over his shoulders, and skipped off into the woods.
They lived happily ever after.
Except for Rapunzel. She died because passer-bys thought it was too vile to pull a girl with metal in her vagina out of the wreckage. Nevertheless, when she was alive, she sang all the time, and people from all over the world would come to her to heal their breakages and cuts, saying they would help her if she sang for them and helped them. They never did. No-body returned the favour, because, I'm sorry kids, but life is a bitch.
Alas, Flynn and the Asian (whose name we found out; Bum Ing Fun), died happily, they both died while trying to penetrate each other at the same time.
The End!
P.S, we hope you enjoyed this. You probably didn't, but we don't really care what you think. Gutted for you, you wasted about 10 minutes of your life reading this, while me and my friend had bundles of fun! By the way, I'm kidding. HOPE YOU HAD LOADS OF FUN! THANKS FOR READING !.