Inferno.
Author: Invader Johnny.
Summary: The only place in the known universe that is a literal inferno is the sun, the Tallest were about to find that out, the hard, crispy way.
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Invader Zim, the show belongs to Jhonen Vasquez.
Author Notes: After writing a fic in which Gaz defeated the Irken Empire single handed, I began thinking what if Zim doomed Red and Purple like he did with Miyuki and Spork?
The previous Tallest deaths wouldn't have been so detrimental to the Empire at the time since Operation Impending Doom II was not exactly in the works but now it would most likely turn things around for the Irken Empire for the worse, but that's just my opinion.
Now technically speaking Zim almost did killed them off during "Backseat Drivers From Beyond The Stars" which is my favorite episode and after finding out that Wally Wingert wanted the Tallest to actually die but Jhonen flat out refused (which surprised me), I decided go ahead and make my own version of the Tallest (accidental and horrible) demise at the Zim hands of Zim!
"Dib!" The Irken said his nemesis name with utter contempt "Get out of my computers! You'll ruin everything!"
Much to Zim's irritation, he saw the human boy disregard his immediate order, adding insult to injury he had the galls to yawned right in his face.
"Nobody yawns at my amazing presence!" He thought arrogantly "And he sure won't stop me from bringing my Tallest to witness this planet's doom!"
Zim was not going to let the big headed get between him and his goal, "not this time!"
The Invader quickly held onto the joystick, temporarily releasing The Massive from the annoying human's control.
Meanwhile in space the Massive made some very insane movements, much to the confusion of the Resisty (Who were wondering if the drivers were under some sort of substance) and the terror of the Irkens within the magenta vessel.
Had there been life in the passing asteroids, comets and debris, they would be perplexed at the high pitched screams coming out of the Armada's flag ship, considering that in space no one could hear you scream but the Irkens managed to prove that theory wrong.
Particularly Red and Purple who were watching the bride's monitor in sheer horror.
"WOAH!"
Suddenly, the Massive was filled with another set of screams, including the Navigators, who joined the Tallest once they witness their trajectory.
"Cold Unfeeling Robot Arm!" Tallest Purple bellowed in tears "This is it! It's the end! What did we ever do to deserve this?!"
Everyone in the bridge gave him looks of "Are you serious?"
"Oh, right."
The aliens resumed screaming for their lives, some navigator looked at the guy next to him, almost as if he wanted to say his final goodbyes or maybe even some dignified last words like "It was an honor working with you."
Instead he poked the eyes of the person next to them.
"OW!"
"I always hated you!"
Some followed suit and actually began insulting each other since nothing else mattered by this point in time.
"I stole your doughnuts!"
"You will fry for that!"
"Hold me Red!" Purple whimpers pathetically.
"Get off me!" His co-ruler scowls, "If we are going to die, let's go with dignity!"
They were all too close to do anything about it, even if they could have done something. The manual diagnostic Red was in the middle of performing wasn't complete, so they would never know what exactly went wrong with the Massive.
"Long live the Irken Empire!" Red exclaimed proudly.
"I don't want to die!" Purple still held onto Red for sheer life "There are still so many doughnuts I haven't eaten yet!"
Unfortunately and ironically his fear brought upon a new type of doom as a loud CRACK was heard all over the bridge.
Much to the surprise of the technicians in the room they stare wide eyed in utter shock as they witness the lower part of the smarter half of their ruler breaking down, the robe hitting the floor or rather it would have had the gravity hadn't been turn off.
Everyone could see the exposed short legs of their supposed Tallest, which were comically wiggling.
"Oops."
"Hey, he isn't tall!" A random Navigatior yelled out. "He's small! Very small!"
"We been lied to!"
"Does that mean that Tallest Purple isn't Tall either?"
"Traitors!"
"Get those jerks!"
So Red and Purple were doomed anyway, even if the sun didn't kill them, their angry, vengeful crew would.
Before the twins could get any form of retaliation from the crew the Massive entered the star, intense heat from it made them start growing weaker, and one by one, the navigators collapsed, followed by the "Tallest" since their PAKS couldn't handle such intense temperatures of the inferno that consumed them.
Leaving behind crispy corpses.
"I REGRET NOTHING!" Red bellowed out as his body was consumed with fire.
The Resisty, who watched this from the transmission that the Irken leaders forgot to cut, were in absolute bewilderment. They never thought their plan would have worked, considering Spleenk who by all accounts was a moron was the one who came up with this suicide mission.
So everyone on board chalked it up as good old "dumb luck."
Even Shloonktapooxis was in shock, and fell over, as he began to laugh uncontrollably "Ultra Mega Win for the pirate monkeys!"
"We'll…that was unexpected." Lard Nar managed to say, ignoring his second in command's unwanted name for their resistance movement.
The ship suddenly erupted with cheers, saying how the Irken Empire has just lost both their tyrannical rulers, and as an added bonus found quite the impressive piece of blackmail, it would only be a matter of time till their common enemy felled like a house of cards.
But many questions still remained.
"What if Irk gets another leader?" Lard Nar thought, "One that is actually tall and far more productive than these hooligans? What if they seek reprisals on the innocent?"
Many, many more dark questions invaded the Vortian's mind which overwhelmed the fact that this was a major victory in their war and that some very vengeful Irkens would go after them.
A plan of action was needed.
"Ok listen up!" Lard Nar roars "Now it's not the time to celebrate!"
"Huh?" Shloonktapooxis Said confused "Why not? I'm hungry!"
"Why reminds me that we didn't actually steal any snacks." Spleenk pointed out.
"Aw man!"
"Forget the snacks!" Lard Nar said "Because tonight my fellow freedom fighters we have something greater!"
"And that is?" Ixane asked.
"Hope... Hope for not just ourselves ... But the universe."
"I much rather have snacks." The floating cone moaned "I'm still hungry."
Zim who was oblivious to his leaders horrible demise simply continued to fight Dib for the control of the Massive, they were both unaware that the rest of the Armada finally caught of the capital ship.
After so much argument, interruptions and name calling, Zim finally got the upper hand, watching in awe at the screen. The Massive has just entered Earth's Atmosphere.
"VICTORY!" The Irken yelled out excitedly "Victory for Zim!"
"NOOOO!" Dib yelled out in defeat?
"Be quiet you pig-weasel thing!"
Zim cut the transmission and ran out of his base, not caring that he was out of disguise as he was just in time to witness the amazing presence that only the Irken flag shio could bestow upon him as it landed in front of his base.
"My TALLEST!" Zim cried out as soon as was about to open the main door.
Only for the Massive to explode, lightning the night sky in a show of fireworks (which the neighbors thought they were."
"Ohhhh pretty lights." Da Cone grinned in awe "Such pretty lights.
They were all so transfixed on the 'night show' that they failed to take notice of the undisguised alien walking among them.
"NOOO! MY TALLEST!... TALLEST!"
Zim could only watch in horror as the huge vessel lowered to the ground in flames, in his despair he could only think of doing one thing.
... Pin the blame on someone other than himself.
"Dib" He hissed "I don't know how but I know the Human Stink-Beast is responsible for this, He will pay if it's the last thing I do!"
The vengeful Invader went back to his base, seeds of revenge deep within his squeedly Spooch, walking away from the fire the explosion left behind, houses crumbling down, devoid of any possible life.
Dib saw everything from the holographic screen on Tak's ship, he felt... Victorious somehow, yes there was some destruction on the streets, but he also knew that the Massive was destroyed and with it, any future plans the Irkens had for universal conquest.
He then began laughing obnoxiously.
Zim heard it...
And he wasn't pleased, not in the slightest.
"You will pay."
Back in space, in Earth's orbit, several Irken ships were circling the planet.
"Did we really need to destroy the Massive" A soldier asked his companion.
"It was a fail safe plan" Another replied back "No vessel, the Massive included should be left behind in any planet that isn't under Irken Control or the enemy could use our technology against us.
"And that would be... Bad?"
"Yes, that would be bad!"
"So... Now what?"
"I think it's safe to say that Operation Impending Doom II is going to be on hold for some time."
"But... What about our world?!" A green eyed pilot asked in fear "Without the Massive, Irk is defenseless!"
"Then we fight till the last man!" A red eyed Irken hissed "For the Irken Empire!"
"FOR THE IRKEN EMPIRE!"
The Armada flew away from the blue planet.
Back on Earth, Zim didn't care if he was out of disguise, the humans were too clueless anyway.
He was in on a mission of honor as he saw it, his spider legs swiftly moving sneakily towards his enemy's window.
"Dib may have felt like he won." He sneered mentally "But there is no safety to you stink-weasel... Not when you're responsible for the dead of my Tallest!"
The Invader quietly opened the window, noticing the young paranormal investigator sleeping with a smug smile on his face.
It disgusted the defective who showed nothing but anger in those red orbs.
"I hate you... You... You... Hippo head!"
Zim slithered closer to the bed, glaring down at the child, who not only ruined his plan but killed his leaders.
"I'm through playing games with you Dib." The Invader growled "You crossed a line... This ends tonight."
Unfortunately, the alien didn't know the meaning of "speaking quietly" since he awakened Dib.
"Huh? Wha...?" He muttered disoriented until he noticed a shadowy figure above him, recognizing the silhouette right on the spot.
"ZIM!"
But that was all he got to say as the Invader outstretched his hand to silence the boy, all the while grinning menacingly.
"This ends tonight you miserable human."
Next thing Dib knew, his enemy had him pinned to the wall with his mechanical spider legs, he gasped in pain as the cold metal penetrated his shoulder.
"As you inferior monkeys say." Zim mocked evilly "Night, night, don't let the pitiful Earth bug bite."
The young boy felt a sudden pain, it was no surprise seeing as the Irken bad sucker punched him, Dib warily looked up, trying to stay away.
"You won't get... Away... With... This... Zim." Dib says drowsily.
"Idiotic Human." The Alien sneered "I already have."
Darkness soon followed.
A few hours later Dib woke up.
Strapped to an operating table.
"Are you comfortable Earth monkey?" Zim's voice asked mockingly. "No? Good!"
"Zim! You jerk!" Dib said hatefully trying to break free "What are you doing?!"
"Setting the score." The Irken said evilly "You killed my leaders... I'm just returning the favor."
Next thing Dib knew, a window materialised right in front of him and to his shock, he saw Presidentman obliviously sitting in a rather comfortable chair, moving his arms around.
"Am I still getting some chocolate ninja star cookies?"
"Run Mr President Run!" The young paranormal investigator tried to get the man's attention, but he didn't even seem to know he was being warned.
"Don't waste your breath Dib-Pig." Zim sneered "Your pitiful leader can't hear you, but you." He chuckles evilly "You can hear him just fine."
The Invader pressed a button and both he and Dib heard some hissing that was unlikely anything from this world.
Dib soon knew was as the ceiling above Presidentman opened to reveal huge leech like creature.
"Enjoy the show Dib." Zim hissed "Because after your pitiful leader, you're next!"
The boy could only watch in terror as the brain parasite attached itself to the president's head, sucking the life out of him, all the while screams of agony filling the underground labs mixed with the Irken's cruel was the thing that nightmares are made off.
Once the brain parasite had suck Presidentman's brain, the body unceremoniously dropped to the floor.
The glass window went down, the parasite set his many eyes on the trapped human.
"Bye bye Stink beast!" Zim said gleefully "I suppose I should say you were a worthy adversary but the truth of the matter is... I hate you... So your death will be my greatest victory..."
Dib however tried to set himself free, which deep down he knew was in vain.
"Any last words pig weasel?"
"Gaz was right, you really are a Whiner."
Zim screamed "WHY YOU LITTLE... EAT HIS BRAIN MEATS NOW NOW NOW!"
The brain parasite jumped right into Dib's gargantuan head.
And then...
Silence.
Wow... Just wow, I originally planned on only killing the Tallest but this soon turned into something much, much bigger than I originally had in mind.
Right after I wrote the part when the Massive exploded I thought that Red and Purple are probably the onlay Irkens he respects and that their deaths would probably affect Zim so deep and it would be the one thing that actually would motivate him to destroy the Earth out of revenge, obviously ignoring the fact that he is responsible for their demise because that's how Zim works.
Needless to say that there is no happy ending for any Dib fans, Tallest Fans or supporters of the Irken Empire here but I just felt like writing a bit of an AU, after all Wally Wingert wanted the Tallest to be killed off so I wrote his wish!
Also, I heard an interview with him long ago claiming that Jhonen Vasquez had plans for a future episode where it was discovered that Red and Purple weren't actually tall, at all just two regular size Irkens using robotic suits to fool the population of Irk into worshiping them, which it sort of explains their superiority complex.
It also explains how Tallest Purple was able to break the suit, since he held onto Red a bit too hard when fear took ahold of him, I mean I'm assuming that genetic engineering boost the Irkens strength.
Anyways, what are your thoughts on this?
Constructive criticism is always accepted.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.