Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX

A Private Thought

He was tired; nowadays, wasn't he always? It was hard for him now to even remember the days when he used to roll out of his lumpy bed at Duel Academy and rush out to meet with his many friends at a time when they were supposed to be attending class, full of energy and without a care in the world. Those memories were not lost, of course – he would forever hold onto and cherish them, no matter what, for they were, for the most part, happy memories. No, it was not that he had forgotten those times, merely that he barely recognised himself from such an era; he was still the same but completely different at the same time nowadays, five years after his graduation from that school.

The sighing brunette lifted his head to look out over the city from his apartment in the city. He was not here as often as he would have liked to be; although this was his home, his desire to travel and help people and his 'duties', as he called them, pulled him from this place all too often. If the days he was home – scattered through the months of the year – were all added up, he was home perhaps for two or three months a year. In actuality, he was home for three weeks at the one time at the very most; usually, he only stayed for five or seven days before running off somewhere again.

There were burdens on his shoulders that he had carried since midway through his final year at Duel Academy and that he would carry, with no regrets and with all the regrets in the world simultaneously, for more than the duration of a single lifetime; literally, forever.

When people said 'forever' – people who were not him – they did not mean it in the literal sense, they only meant their own personal forever; that is, their own entire lifetime. However, when the Supreme King said 'forever', he meant lifetimes and until the end of whatever time and life truly passed for; namely, until the Light of Ruin was nonexistent, and such an idea seemed impossible when he had witnessed its true potentials, not all in this particular lifetime.

Here, though, he had made some of the biggest decisions of his entire life. Firstly, he had fused his soul with the soul of his guardian, Yubel. They were together in every possible way now, and it was strange but welcome at first and, by now, completely natural. He loved Yubel; always had, ever since her sacrifice. The union of their souls had been unexpected but, when he really thought about it, such an act couldn't even be considered particularly extreme by their standards, and besides, they had long ago gained the complete love and trust of one another. To fuse their souls had been a monumental decision nonetheless, however, and was one of the two things which had forever changed the Supreme King.

The second was more inconspicuous to him: his relationship with the holder of the legendary Crystal Beast cards. It was undeniable that he loved Jesse Andersen, and this was what was so big a deal.

The Supreme King had never before known such love. Indeed, he had never truly had a need of it, because he had always had and loved Yubel – giving another his love had, until this lifetime, never crossed his mind. That wasn't to say that, over his lifetimes, he hadn't had bed partners and suchlike, but always to his guardian's knowledge and usually because he either felt like 'living on the wild side' or keeping up some form of appearances. It was not until he lived in this lifetime that he actually fell in love with someone.

At first, it had been terrifying. He had realised that he felt so strongly for Jesse and that his feelings, to that degree of care and affection, could be matched only by his love for Yubel – when he had recognised these feelings as being love, he had been afraid; mostly, he was unsure and apprehensive. Nobody was entirely sure what had caused him to act so strangely – and act strangely he did, what with the fast talking that was associated with love struck teenagers in his twenties, the occasional blush whenever he happened to be too close to Jesse, the distant sighs that seemed so out of character – except for Yubel. Her support that she knew he loved her too – that he always would – was what prompted him to confess his own feelings to Jesse, after almost an entire year of keeping them bottled up.

It was foolish of him to think that Yubel would be jealous. She herself had laughed when he'd told her this and asked, jokingly, if he thought so lowly of her; wasn't he hers forever? She was happy enough – more like content to know that Jaden was happy – to see him with Jesse, so long as their relationship was good and that Jaden was not unhappy with the circumstances, which he was not. There had never been any doubt in Yubel's mind that Jesse was in love with Jaden. It had been obvious for so long.

So his own confession, following Jaden's, was her expectation and all happened as predicted. The strong feeling of love was mutual.

Of course, it had taken some time for Jaden and Jesse to progress past hand holding and kisses on the cheek. Besides the natural wariness that came when two people who had never loved before came together, there were old wounds, healing but still visible, that marked Jesse because of past incidents involving Yubel, whom he knew was a part of Jaden and always watching. From the moment of their confessions, it had taken two months of 'dating' before they had managed to engage in a completely comfortable kiss; it had taken eight months before they had begun sleeping together; it had taken three full years before they had moved in together, in a reasonably spacious apartment in Domino City.

This apartment he stood in now was the same apartment. His relationship was with the same person. But his life was better.

Thanks to his own efforts, the Light of Ruin had calmed down somewhat; it was ever present and occasionally peaking, but less active than it had been during his school years, and all down to his own work. It was beneficial to him, naturally, because he now did not have to travel around to monitor it so much as he used to – although he did still have to, and of course he was still helping people, which required the will to travel long distances.

But still, less danger meant more time at home, and that was a key success for him.

The city he was presently looking out on had been an admiration of his since his childhood; how long ago that seemed, and yet, to him, those years weren't such a long time at all.

And yet, his time with Jesse seemed so long. It was mainly due to the fact that Jesse was the first lover he had had that he had genuinely loved with all his heart; whoever said that you could only love one person completely had not been inside his heart – his love for Jesse and his love for Yubel balanced where he had imagined they would clash. Perhaps because they were different kinds of love.

He had, he privately thought, everything. A home to return to when he chose to do so, a guardian that had his back through everything and anything, a deck of the best cards he could have wished for, friends worth dying for, the respect of all that he had helped, and the constant that was Jesse Andersen's love.

A gentle breeze ruffled his hair – longer now than it had been during his school years, resting on his shoulders – and he heard a faint chuckle from behind him. Smirking, he turned around and looked into the main room of the apartment he and his lover shared, leaning on the railing of the balcony as he folded his arms loosely.

"What're you laughing at?"

The other shook his head dismissively, grinning.

"You need a haircut" he murmured, busy already with re-arranging his deck in preparation for his upcoming duel. "Blair could do it for you."

Jaden gulped a little; Blair did hair styling as a hobby around her actual profession, but she had never developed the necessary skills and the last time he'd trusted her with his hair style he had ended up with it being a total mess – he had thanked her as genuinely as he could and went straight from her house to the hairdressers to get it done properly. Since then, he did not trust Blair to be within six feet of a pair of scissors.

"I like it this way" he said, winking at Jesse and then turning his attention back to the world going by around him. "Are you ready for this duel tomorrow?"

There was a shuffling of cards and then a reply: "Yeah, ready as I'll ever be. Pegasus says he's wanted to see this duel for a long time."

Jaden nodded – he understood that much, considering that this was a pro-league duel between Jesse Andersen and Aster Phoenix; their first match in all the years Jesse had been on the pro circuit. Privately he didn't have complete faith in either one of them to win – they were both brilliant, and although he loved Jesse with all his heart, Aster was a very good friend, and he knew that, no matter who won in the end, it would be a sweet match.

"I'm glad it was scheduled for tomorrow instead of next week after all" Jesse continued. "Zane and Syrus have a tag match the day after."

Jaden nodding in agreement; he already knew this.

"Sy's sure come a long way since school, huh?" Jesse said, joining his lover on the balcony.

"Yeah" Jaden answered simply, while privately he thought that they all had. "Chazz and Alexis will probably be there tomorrow by the way, Jess. Lexi said they would be."

"Are they bringing the kids?"

"Probably, unless Atticus is watching them."

Jesse nodded – Atticus was known to relish his time with his nephews, who adored him much to the dismay of their father. Jaden smirked as he thought that, after all her protests, Alexis truly had gone out with Chazz; he had always thought Chazz's love for Alexis was unrequited, and yet the two were now married with a toddler and a baby, both boys who were the spitting image of their father.

"Everyone's come a long way" Jaden breathed.

Not just them, or Syrus, or Chazz with his mutual love and Alexis with her teaching career. There was Hasselberry, with his army-style duelling training; Zane, who lived for the enjoyment of living and now without a wheelchair; Atticus, who had made the top of the charts more than once with his songs done through duelling; Aster who was getting married in three months; Jim whose wife had just three weeks ago given birth to their first child; Blair who was eager awaiting the next get-together to introduce her old friends to her new boyfriend.

Everyone had accomplished so much, including them.

Lost in their own private thoughts, Jesse absentmindedly wrapped one arm around Jaden's waist, instantaneously feeling his lover lean into his familiar touch. He knew that, soon enough, Jaden would find some reason or other to go dashing off again to play the hero; he may wish that Jaden wouldn't go, but deep down he knew that he was okay with it. Jaden's absence gave he himself a chance to pursue his own hopes and dreams, and there was always the wonderful thought that, soon enough, he'd come home to find Jaden there, unannounced and smiling.

Those moments were the best times of his life. He lived for them, not that he'd ever tell Jaden that, because he liked to keep just that little bit of himself a secret; after all, everything else was shared with his love.

Little did he know, those moments – when Jesse's face lit up with happiness and that spark of renewed love flashed in his eyes in that split second when he saw his lover – were Jaden's best times as well.

Please R&R