Rain poured outside as he was a crying mess in the mess of his room. He didn't know what to do or how to get out of his head. All he could think of was the life he had inside of him conceived by what he now remembered as a that dark blur in his memory he desperately wanted to forget.

"Honey, are you ok? You haven't come out of your room in 2 days."

"I'm ok mom, just a bit sick to my stomach." he brought his hands to his tummy.

"I made you some katsudon, your favorite."

He reached higher for his stomach and felt it growl, "I'm not hungry, mom." he heard some steps walk away and that's when he started crying again. It had been 2 days since he found out he was pregnant and fuck was he confused.

Why him? Why now? He was just a high school kid at the wrong place in the wrong time when it all happened. The moment he got home he told his childhood friend, Yuko, and she told his parents. Mom and Dad had been nothing more than supportive and caring. They cried with him, held him and promised to help him get through this, but Yuuri was terrified of telling them that their 15 year old boy was having a child from a random stranger that raped him just 4 weeks ago.

His parents had a few psychologists come over to talk to him since the incident and didn't talk about it until Yuuri felt like bringing it up. He had also stopped going to school and his mind couldn't be a greater mess. It all had happened so fast he thought it had been a nightmare. He wished he could just wake up, but he couldn't escape. This was his reality

Every time his eyes closed he could even feel that man's touch, that man's tongue in his mouth and him penetrating his body. He could see his face, he could smell that putrid breath as if it was still in him. On him. He felt disgusted with his own body for being contaminated by this man's seed. He felt violated. Used and thrown out like some piece of gum.

His once untouched body was forcefully claimed by a man walking by, and he hated himself for it. Not even a million baths could take away how repulsively disgusted he was at his own body. Not even the sweetest smelling soap could take off that rotten smell from him. Not even his love for katsudon could make him eat. Nothing could make him want to keep living this life.

He wanted to just die but there was something holding him back. What about this person inside of him? This everlasting reminder that he had been contaminated.

He laid down in bed and felt his stomach where he saw a fading dark spot and put his hand over it.

"You don't deserve this." his eyes filled with tears as he rubbed his abdomen.

He stared at the results of the lab tests, the second time he'd been asked so much questions in a hospital since it all happened. The first time was when his parents insisted in taking him and getting enough evidence to get to the bastard that dared to touch their son.

He was tired of crying, and took a deep breath. The tears wouldn't stop flowing out of his eyes but he still laid flat on his back and thought of what to do.

He knew that this life growing inside of him had not decided to be there itself, he knew it wasn't it's fault but he just couldn't bring himself to give it up. It wasn't its fault why would he have to pay for it?

He then looked at his stomach again and saw the dark spot. He then thought about himself. Not being able to go to school, having to give up his education to raise a child, what society would think, how the baby would not have a father, how much this creature's presence would haunt him, mark him and take away from him. He had to get rid of if and start again.

How would he tell his parents? His friends? How would he be able to live like this for the rest of his life?

He flinched when he heard the door open, It was Yuko. "Yuuri?" she walked in with a bowl of katsudon in her hands. "Your mom told me you haven't eaten anything besides snacks in days."

He wiped his tears and wrapped himself in a blanket, "no, i'm good. I just..I'm not that hungry."

The girl put the bowl down and sat by Yuri's side, "listen, If you want to stay home for some time that's totally okay, but please eat something."

Yuri felt a tear leave his eye and dried it before it reached his chin, "thanks, Yuko. you can leave it there. I'll eat later."

Yuko knew he was in pain, it was more than evident with the way he was looking at everything but her face during the whole encounter. "you look like you need some rest." She got up and picked up some shirts from the floor, "I'll fix your room and maybe even clean a little."

Yuuri remembered the location of the papers and his eyes widened as he got up and saw that the papers were not in his bed anymore. Yuko's eyes widened and a tear rolled down her cheek, "Yuuri..."

He sat back down and his swollen eyes filled with tears again, "please don't tell anybody." he whispered.

She put the papers down and turned to Yuuri who hung his head down in shame and cried. Yuko ran to him and hesitated but went ahead and hugged him, "you're not alone, you hear me? You have a family that loves you and a best friend that will always be here for you."

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Yuko asked as she let go of her friend.

"Can you..help me with something?" his voice cracked.

"Yeah. of course anything."

He wiped his tears and stood straight, "I gonna need you to help me with this baby."

"You're keeping it?"

"It wasn't mine or his fault, we're both victims and..." Yuuri stopped and almost went back on his decision when Yuko took his hand and looked at him in the eye.

"I respect your decision and I will be the best aunty that baby can ever have. Ok?"

Yuuri nodded and for the first time in weeks, he smiled back.