Here for all great A.R. fans. its a small story of Sabinas thoughts and what happened after she went to self destruct the missiles in the fourth book Eagle strike. R & R

Enjoy!

Blind

Sabina was in shock, the plane had skidded and lurched violently throwing her into a seat somewhere behind her. She remained sitting there her mind spinning and everything seemed in disorder. Finally she shook her head and looked around, clinging desperately to her consciousness. She gulped uncertain as to what to do; she felt herself go into shock and was close to going hysteric. But a hoarse whisper to her left brought her back.

"Sab." Alex Rider's voice wasn't loud, but the determination in it had a soothing effect on Sabina's heart and she felt herself calm. Standing up shakily she looked around, searching the interior that was now in disorder with things flown around everywhere and paper going in whirlwinds as the plane continued on its journey.

Alex was crumbled up against a wall that he had been flung against when the plane had jerked from the blown engine. Blood was trickling down his face from various cuts and bruises and Sabina found herself shuddering at the thought of how his body looked under those cloths. She was afraid to see black and blue, afraid to see broken bones. She was once again moving closer to shock, but Alex voice continued keeping her where she was.

"Control Room." Control room? She wondered, what had that to do with the situ… "Self Destruct button, press it Sab, press it… Have to destroy the missiles." Her mind reeled back and she remembered what had happened, she barely through one more glance at Alex as she flung herself up the stairs, steadying herself on the rail as not to fall as the plane continued on its dangerous journey. In so much hurry that her mind didn't registrant the metallic scent of blood that lingered in the air.

She was no longer thinking, simply acting, and letting her body move her while her mind had gone into automatic. The door to the Control Room was open and as she entered she froze in shock, staring at all the buttons and levers that filled the room. How was she supposed to find the right button, but a big red one caught her attention. It was the one made to launch the missiles and right next to it was another smaller button with neat printed words of 'Self Destruct' on it. She didn't hesitate to slam her hand down on it forcefully and then remained there standing, confusion over whelming her. Had it worked? Nothing had popped up on the screen; nothing existed to tell her that she had completed her task. Her task for Alex…

Alex.

She spun around and her movement made her dizzy as she sank slowly to her knees. Her stomach rumbled and her throat scratched. She felt sick. The day with Cray was finally catching up with her and she couldn't help herself but shudder and hurl up the small remains of tea in her stomach. She felt empty as she recalled the image of men dropping; the way Cray had killed the innocent to get onto the plane. She remembered the despair and fear she felt as the gun was pointed at her and she stared up into eyes that told her she would die. But what she remembered the most was Alex.

The way he had stood there, his face a complete mask showing no emotions. When he had faced Cray and Yassen with the disc to rescue her, he hadn't so much as flinched when the gun was pointed at him. He was calm, only the enraged eyes and the show of defeat in them when Cray told him he would still kill her had shown. She was unsure of what to do when they had been locked away; she watched his every move when he had moved around the room searching for who knows what, the way his eyes where cold and emotionless. They reminded her of the way Yassen looked. The thought that they where alike scared her and she strayed her mind from thinking about it. Instead she tried remembering when she first met Alex, how he had told her of what he did and she hadn't believed him. She leaned forward curling herself into a tight ball as tears spilled down her face.

"Stupid. Stupid. So stupid." If she had only believed in him. If she had listened, then maybe they would never have to be in this situation. If she had listened to her parents, never to follow strangers. If she just hadn't been so stupid. Missiles might or might not be on there way to destroy towns and cities, the plane she was currently occupying wouldn't be on a death trip and Alex… O god Alex. He was laying there dying know.

Dying.

She snapped out of her mind and raced down stairs, fear filling her as she was flung ruthlessly about the plane.

"Alex!" But he wasn't where he had last been, he wasn't curled up by the wall. She swallowed her eyes moving to the opening of the plane. "O God. NO please tell me he didn't… NO NO NO." Once again she found herself sunken to the knees, her brain hurt from the thinking, from the back and forth motion of the plane and the thought that she had lost someone important, the thought that she had failed.

Alex was a spy, he was more important than her. She knew that, the way he dealt with the situation, the way he planned, and the way he never forgot what his job was. When Sabina had been going into shock, Alex had only been thinking of one thing and that was to save all the millions of people that would die. No for Sabina that hadn't even crossed her mind; she had only thought about herself, how she was gone die, how sorry she felt that she had to be the one here and not someone else.

For her Alex was to pure to die, even when she was struck with horror when she had seen a small sanguinary smile upon his lips when he fought against Cray, the way he didn't even so much as flinch when a man fell and his last breath stolen. The way he seemed too acquainted and accepted of the principal of death. No even then, Alex was pure, innocent, he was to nice to be in this business she realized, but she also realized that he was to good not to be in it.

A small sigh to her right had her head turning and her eyes fell upon Yassen Gregerovich. But it wasn't he who had made the sound; no she could tell from here that he was dead. But she frowned confused as to why the man would be smiling. Her eyes travel down his form, erasing the fact from her mind that there was blood everywhere. She gaped as she saw Alex; he was curled up on the side of Yassen, his head in the assassins lap. What had happened? And why was Yassens hand over Alex's?

She realized it then as she looked upon them, one dead and the other in a deep slumber, that as much as she hated it Alex and Yassen were very alike. But she couldn't quite but her finger to it, she just knew, that they where meant to have met and that maybe fate had a funny way of showing itself to people.

But for now she was just glad that Alex was alive and had not been flung out of the airplane. She dismissed the fact that Yassen seemed to take comfort in Alex's presence and that he seemed pleased with himself or whether it was Alex when he had died. And she very much put it out of her mind that Alex seemed as much in comfort and at peace sleeping next to the assassin, even if the assassin was now dead, the picture of them side by side was still weird. But she guessed it was acceptable, everyone held their secrets and whatever theirs where, it seemed to have put both of them out with peacefully.

She just sat there, her mind wandering far off as she listened to the engines lowering in volume as the plane was slowing down. She smiled at Alex, it wasn't time yet, no for right know, she wasn't strong enough to be with Alex. But she promised herself that one day, she would have the strength and courage to be able to be with Alex. To be able to accept facts that she didn't want to know, to open her eyes to the truth. But right know she wasn't ready for that, no she would much rather remain blind for just a tiny bit longer and then when she was ready, she would come back to him.

Well i just finished reading the fourth book, i am so going out of order, but o well. At least know i'm finshed with the series and it rocked. This story i came up with at work, i've never writen anything about Sabina so i thought this might be a great time to do so.

Please review and tell me what you think.