"Love Me Like You Do"
Chapter One
by darthelwig
*** I own nothing. I'm just having fun. ***
A/N: I'm rating this Mature for later chapters, because I know how I am.
More than anything, she missed the peacefulness of Vision's mind. When she began to feel overwhelmed, she could brush her mind against his, insert herself among his smooth and calming thought processes, and be centered again. He was gentle and welcoming, always, knowing how much she needed a place to retreat to.
Pietro had been that for her, until Ultron had ripped him away.
The loss of her brother still pained her, and always would. Even the comfort of Vision's mind couldn't compare to the sense of utter belonging she had felt with Pietro's thoughts. She had been learning to cope with that loss, though, with Vision's help, and she missed him now, so badly.
Her teammates wondered why she isolated herself at times. She had never discussed this part of her powers with them before, and had no intention of doing so now if she could help it. She would not expose her weakness unnecessarily. None of them could help her, so they didn't need to know. None of them could act as a shelter for her. Sometimes, though, she just couldn't take the press of minds anymore, or the chaos of her own disturbed thoughts, and so she isolated herself in an attempt to reign herself in.
It worked, for the most part, but she could feel her control slipping a little more each time. She feared that one day her shaky control wouldn't be enough. Her powers only seemed to be growing, and she was feeling the strain.
She needed Vision. She missed him, and she needed him, and she was seriously debating returning to America just to find him. Would it be better to brave being caught and arrested and possibly find some peace, or hide herself away and slowly lose her mind?
Vision knew how much she depended on him. If only he would find her, everything would be okay. She wondered if he even wanted to, or if things between them had changed forever. That was the thought that gave her pause, made her truly reconsider the act of returning to a country that hated her. It would all be in vain if he had stopped caring, and she didn't know how to tell.
He had apologized at the airport, and so did she, but he hadn't sought her out since, and she had thought he would have. He understood her need. Didn't he want to help her?
More than that, didn't he want to be with her?
Their closeness of minds had bred a closeness of hearts, and somewhere along the line their friendship had morphed into something more. Neither had acted on it, not really, only innocent flirtation and kind acts, like making paprikash to lift her spirits. They didn't acknowledge it openly, but they both felt it. It was impossible to hide, as often as their minds touched. They were very good at pretending that they hadn't glimpsed the other's most private thoughts, though, and so they danced around the subject and settled for long looks and subtle touches.
She thought their feelings for each other would've meant enough to Vision for him to seek her out. Easier for him to do so than for her, but she had yet to hear from him, had not had any news about him at all. The frustration wasn't helping her maintain her fragile hold on her sanity.
She would give anything to have him back, to feel his strong arms around her as he offered her comfort from her nightmares, to hear his smooth voice once more, to be able to feel his calming presence next to her. She wanted her friend back. She ached for what they could have been.
Vision could find her if he wanted to. He could do anything. She believed that with all her heart. It's not even like they were trying very hard to hide, staying here in Wakanda for this long, so now her heart was breaking, a little more with every passing day. The day was coming very soon when they would need to leave the relative safety of Wakanda and scatter to the winds, which would make it even harder for Vision if he eventually decided he wanted to look for her. She couldn't help but hope he was looking.
Soon enough she was going to be on the run again, alone, and she wanted Vision back, but all she had right now were memories, and an empty place at her side where he should be.