Destined to Lose

*WARNING: if you actively

take part in the playing of

The Game, reading this could

be hazardous to your health*

Now while I don't in any way claim to be Rowling, nor do I take claim for these characters and their original actions, this is a scene that I'm sure she would have included.

Scene: Harry and Ron are sitting in Divination and Hermione has just left for good. After calming the class down from Hermione's dramatic exit, Professor Trelawney has them go back to the noble art of crystal gazing and returns to Harry and Ron's table.

"So my dear boy, what do we see here?"

"Er, well… uh there's sort of a shape?"

"Oh? Really? Well…"

"I… er… why don't you look, Ron?"

"Oh… I…well… lots of fog?"

Professor Trelawney tried not to roll her eyes as she sighed at Ron and looked over his shoulder at the crystal ball. She gasped. "Oh no my dear boy. It's The Game. You're going to lose. It's going to spread like a disease throughout the school."

Both Harry and Ron stared at her, bewildered. "Game? What game? Do you mean Quidditch?" But he had time to ask no more for the class had ended and they had to make their way down to Potions. Harry and Ron mulled over it through the halls down to the dungeons for their least favorite class. "You don't think this 'game' thing's real do you?"

"I dunno Ron; she could've been putting up a show to cover up Hermione's disruption."

"Why don't we ask Hermione about it and see if she thinks it was a show."

"You know she will, but we can ask anyway."

As they neared the looming doors of the Potions classroom, they saw Professor Snape standing by the door watching them approach with loathing written all over his greasy face. He sneered at them, "Sit down quietly and get to work. Instructions are on the board."

Harry and Ron walked in and spotted Hermione sitting at their usual table in the back of the room, already brewing her potion. They sat down next to her and bean unpacking the ingredients they would need. Ron mouthed, "Ask now"

Harry turned towards Hermione, "Hermione."

"Hmm?"

"In Divination, after you—"

"Got up, rudely interrupted the class, and stormed out."

"—Left, Professor Trelawney… erm… made a prediction."

"You mean you actually listen, actually believe the old fraud."

"That's what we want your opinion for. She said something about losing a game…"

"Dang it, Harry! I lose now. I've gone so long without losing."

"Losing what?"

"The Game."

"The Game?"

"Shh. Get to work, Snape's coming." Snape walked past their table glaring at Harry. Hermione continued in a whisper after he had passed. "Yes, it's a stupid Muggle thing. Someone taught it to me ages ago. The entirety of The Game is that if you think about The Game you lose, and you have to say you lose, no matter where you are or what you're doing. It's rather pointless really, but now, as you both know of it, you too are playing. So you lose."

"That's it?" Ron demanded, "That's what Trelawney was talking about? A stupid Muggle thing?"

Snape turned around and glared at their table again. "I thought I told you to work quietly Weasley. Five points from Gryffindor."

Harry and Ron glared at Snape and waited until he turned around again, "Ron, wait. Remember what else she said. 'It will spread like a disease throughout the school.'"

"Oh please, Harry. You have to tell people about The Game (dang it! I lose again!) for it to spread. And I don't plan on telling anyone, do you?"

The three of them silently went back to brewing their potions. About ten minutes later, while Snape was well out of earshot, Harry heard someone hiss at him from across the room. "Potter, hey Potter." It was none other than Draco Malfoy. "I heard you lost The Game."

"Oh shut up Malfoy." Ron had turned around to glare at Malfoy. "How do you know about The Game anyway?"

"My father has connections at the Ministry."

"But what does that have to do with The Game?"

"Nothing, of course, except maybe you lose now."

Ron could not control himself, "You son of a banshee, Malfoy!" Unfortunately for him, Snape heard this and wheeled around to glare at Ron again.

"This is the third time I am telling you to sit down and work quietly. Detention, Mr. Weasley, and ten more points from Gryffindor for disobeying again and your obscene use of language. Now get to work before I make it fifty!"

Luckily for Harry and Ron, Malfoy kept to himself for the remainder of the class and, much to Malfoy's dismay, Snape found no other reason to dock points from Gryffindor. Malfoy did not drop the subject, however. Whenever he could, in hallways, during classes, during meals in the Great Hall etc., he always had to mention The Game.

"Just ignore him." Hermione would always tell them. "He's just trying to egg you on and get you into trouble." But Ron couldn't take it, and neither could Harry sometimes. And it wasn't just Malfoy anymore. He told anyone and everyone who would listen about The Game, and made up special buttons for himself and his friends that alternated between 'The Game' and 'I Lose'. It wasn't just Harry and Ron who were annoyed with Malfoy's Game losing, either. Professor McGonagall noticed Malfoy randomly saying "I lose" during classes.

"Mr. Malfoy, is it really necessary to keep interrupting the class like this?"

"Well, you see, Professor, I keep losing The Game and every time you lose you have to say you lose."

"And what game is this?"

"Just The Game, Professor. And if you really must know, you are now playing and every time you think of The Game you lose."

"Is that all?"

"Yes Professor."

"Good. Now if you disrupt my class again I will give you a detention. Is that clear?"

"Yes Professor."

"AND WILL YOU TAKE THAT RIDICULOUS BUTTON OFF, MR. MALFOY! YOU'RE MAKING ME LOSE THE GAME!"

"Yes Professor," Malfoy smirked.

The rest of the class was quite uneventful as Professor McGonagall had threatened anyone who mentioned losing or The Game with a week's worth of detentions.

Within three days, everybody— staff, student, and ghost— knew about The Game. It really had spread like a disease throughout the school. Peeves had given up scaring first years and throwing things at people, but instead took to making up songs about The Game to make people lose. Not only was Peeves infuriating everyone, Fred and George were doing all they could to make everybody lose. They bewitched everything they possibly could to say "I lose" and with the combined efforts of Peeves and the Weasley twins, Filch could be heard cursing more than ever before. So was everyone else, actually. A variety of wizard swears were mixed in with everyone's vocabulary, waiting to curse the next person who mentioned The Game. Some were literally cursed as well. Teachers were constantly needing to perform counter-curses on those who'd been jinxed. The only way teachers were able to maintain order in their classrooms was by following Professor McGonagall's lead and threatening anyone who mentioned The Game with a week's worth of detentions. Snape was the only one able to have the class completely silent, though, for he'd been even more threatening than usual and taking fifty points away from anyone who said anything that could be at all linked to The Game, and paced through the rows of tables menacingly, black eyes watching everyone like a hawk, daring them to say something. The only person who was not bothered by The Game was Hermione. ("Oh honestly, how could anyone get riled up over a silly Muggle thing like that, especially with exams coming up soon.")

Dumbledore and the other teachers seemed to agree. It came to a point where the teachers and even some of the students were so fed up with The Game, and like Hermione, were more worried about the end-of-term exams. Dumbledore had been noticing all of this and finally decided to take action. The next evening during dinner he stood up to make an announcement, "As I'm sure you all know, exams are coming up rather soon. And in order to do well on your exams you need to keep your mind focused on your studies rather than trivial Muggle things like The Game." At this point, he paused, as there were groans from some people, under-the-breath swears from others, and an audible "I lose" all around. Dumbledore continued, "That is exactly my point. The amount of detentions given in the last few weeks has been greater than ever due to the amount of profanity used along with hexes used on other students. This behavior is highly inappropriate and is quickly wearing out the patience of my staff. Now I suggest you all put The Game out of your minds and get to your studies if you wish to go farther in the wizarding community. If this nonsense doesn't end, I will be left with no choice but to expel any students continuing to disrupt the learning environment here at Hogwarts. Now, off to bed, all of you, and keep in mind your true priorities. I really don't want to have to expel anybody."

Everyone filed out of the Great Hall and made their way back to the common rooms, an unintelligible murmur going with them.

The next few weeks were quite uneventful— well, except for the insignificant little side plot that had something to do with mass-murderer Sirius Black and the fact that one of the teachers turned out to be a werewolf— and, too everyone's relief, Gameless.