*gasp* I've finally done it. After months of nagging at myself and reading countless other fan fictions (and telling myself that one day, I will have one of the said fan fictions posted on my account), I have finally come out of my pathetic little poop bubble, and have created a little masterpiece. Listen, guys, this is OC. I'm terribly sorry...I, personally, do not care for OC's (because most of the time, they're cheesy; too Mary Sue), but I had no other choice than to use an OC as the main character. But, enough complaining for this one; let the Ninja tell you who this little turd is.
So, we have this little poop named Ava. She does not have a last name, because she's obviously too awesome to have one (*cough* I..couldn't think of a good last name...). Ava is 5'7, has long, layered, dark brown hair, poop-colored eyes, big twins, huge donk, the works. She has been with the Akatsuki for a good four to five years, and she is sixteen years old. She has not had sex with any of the beasties, and that's good (I know this author's note is taking forever, but you need to know who the stupid OC is to understand. Bear with me, guys..). How she joined the Akatsuki may be told either throughout the story, or in an entirely new story.
Now, for the readers who haven't clicked the back arrow to find a different, juicy little fan fiction, please enjoy my very first fan fiction, My Adventure Time~
-Ch. 1 Moody Weasels with KK's-
"We should go on an adventure," I said aloud, while drinking my coffee with Sasori, Kisame, Hidan, and Zetsu (Can you believe it? A plant drinking coffee. Ha!). Itachi was on the couch, falling asleep on Deidara's lap, causing the blonde to twirl his hair. Kakuzu and Pein left way early in the morning, so I had no idea where they were.
"Adventure?" Sasori mumbled, looking at me with his copper eyes curiously.
"Yeah! I mean, let's face it, June's almost over, and we've done nothing but hang out in the pool and watch TV. Ninja needs some adventure time!" Hidan scoffed, shaking his head.
"You're complaining about being bored when you've been hanging out with eight of the hottest fucking guys you'll ever meet?" Yes, all nine of them will be hot in this. How can they not be? Hidan shifted his body towards me, leaning into my space.
"Sounds like someone needs to get laid," he spoke softly, winking at me. I blushed, then punched his face, but of course, he just laughed about it and scooched back to where he was sitting before.
"Forward much, Hidan?" Zetsu said, rolling his eyes at the silver haired sexy. Hidan flew Zetsu a birdie, pissing him off. I laughed at Zetsu's anger, but went silent (Zetty mouthed, "I'll eat you," to me).
"Where would you want to go?" Kisame asked, sipping his coffee. I shrugged.
"No idea. I just don't want our visits to Wal-Mart to be the highlight of my summer," Sasori chuckled at this, putting his cup down.
"Well...There's always Nashville, I guess." You see, instead of creating some sort of mystical, imaginary place for me and the Akatsuki to live, I just decided to be a lazy ass and keep 'em stuffed in my house. No biggie on my part. It'll just be a little cramped, considering the fact that Nine guys plus me (and two kitties) are going to be stuffed in this teensy house.
"Nash Vegas is a no no," I bluntly stated. "Don't we have a shit load of money tucked away somewhere?" Kisame shook his spiky blue hair.
"Yeah, but it's tucked in Kakuzu's ass. No one's going to want to touch that." We all stared blankly at Hidan, since he's the one stuck with the stitchy guy. He crossed his arms, furrowing his brows together.
"Ain't no way in Hell am I getting sucked into this shit." We all dramatically sighed, causing the room to go a gloomy blue. Sasori suddenly shrieked, startling all of us.
"Agh! Kisame? Where'd you go? Quick! Someone get the room bright again before we lose him!" Sasori and Zetsu turned their heads to me, so I looked around frantically, searching for Spok and Noodle, the amazing Ninja sidekicks. Hidan just sipped at his coffee, ignoring us. Thankfully, Spok was waltzing around at the bottom of the table, so I grabbed him and tossed him towards the invisible Kisame.
"Tossing the cat this early in the morning..." A groggy, but sexy voice crawled its way into the kitchen room. Suddenly, Kisame appeared from where he used to be sitting, with Spok wide-eyed in his lap.
"Itachi!" I cheered. "You brought Kisame back to us!" Itachi ran his hand through his hair, looking at a pissed Kisame.
"...I really hate this room..," the tall blue man muttered. Itachi stumbled over towards the table in his purple boxers (time to start thinking of the Bieste), letting a hand plop down on my shoulder.
"Was it really necessary to throw Spokky..? You know he's scared of Kisame's sharky appearance," he said to me, his voice low.
"Kisame left us...There was no other way, man. It's not Akatsuki without him!" I said dramatically, with my hand stretched out towards Kisame. Itachi sighed.
"Plus," I added, "You would think that he would be attacking Kisame, rather than being a wuss about it." Ah yes, the cheesy joke about Kisame's fishy appearance. Well, it made Hidan snicker.
"Get up. I need a seat," Itachi commanded sternly, ignoring my lame ass joke. I did a stupid pout, then walked towards the coffee maker, flipping my hair. I already knew the routine: kick my fat ass outta the chair, then get the sexy some coffee.
"Don't forget the creamer and sugar," he called to me, putting his head down on the table. You forget he can read minds...
"Yes your majesty.." I mumbled, tossing the cream and sugar in. Sasori looked at me and somehow made his eyes twice the size they were before.
"What's for breakfast?" He asked, smiling widely. I frowned at him, walking towards the dark-haired beauty, his cup of coffee in my hands. Sasori looked amused at my expression, watching me place the coffee by Itachi's forearm.
"There you are, my good man," I said softly in a play British accent. Itachi poked his head up, then stretched his long arms until they reached Spok, whom perked his ears at his fingers, watching with sleepy eyes. Apparently he's not so scared of Kisame once he's in his huge lap! (awh3) In the corner of my eye, I saw Deidara get up from the couch, cracking his back. He strolled in the kitchen with his neon pink boxers, and to tell you the good ole truth, it was quite the sight. His tan skin made the boxers pop out, which was just awesome. He smiled at me, grabbing my sides from behind and pulling me into a tight embrace. This was our way of saying 'good morning,' I guess. But, it was always short, because Itachi or Sasori would push him away, even though we both knew it was no big deal. This time it was Itachi to pull us apart.
"For the love of Jashin, keep it in the pants, Deidara," he groaned, pulling my arm. "It's too early in the morning." Hidan and Zetsu both suddenly spoke with annoyed voices.
"Dude, it's eleven in the morning. It's almost fucking lunch time. It's only early for You, moron." They both looked at each other confused, then back at Itachi, who shooed them with his hand. I laughed at all of them, then turned to Deidara.
"Apparently it's my turn to cook breakfast. Want anything in particular?" He scratched his long blonde hair, thinking.
"Eh...what does Sasori want? I don't really care what I have." I sighed, turning to Sasori, whom was smiling deviously at me.
"What do you want then?" I asked, annoyed with this red haired sexy already. Just as he was about to answer, the door swung open, revealing the almighty Pein, followed by Kakuzu. They were each carrying two huge brown bags. Noodle always ran to the door when it opened, since she loved being outside. She met Pein and Kakuzu at the door, meowing her high pitched squeal of a meow. Pein smiled at Noodle. We all, except Itachi, watched them make their way towards the kitchen counter.
"Someone go shut the door. I don't want to waste any more money for the air conditioning in this little shit house," Kakuzu said darkly. I automatically ran towards the door, after waiting for them to pass, and quietly shut it.
"What's in the bags?" Deidara asked Pein, moving out of the way. Pein dropped the bag on the counter, opening its contents. He pulled out four boxes of Krispy Kreme's, all of them assorted.
"Breakfast." All the guys looked up then, even Itachi. Spok jumped out of Kisame's lap and ran towards my ankles, brushing against my silver anklet. He knew how Kisame got around food. After Kakuzu dropped the bag on the counter and pulled out four more boxes of KK's, he and Pein got their share and walked into the living room, turning the TV on. We all waited for the signal; Pein would give us a signal for it to be okay to get food. Yes, odd, but heisthe Leader. Suddenly, his hand went up, and the kitchen was attacked from all sides. I didn't even dare try to get any food until the mob scene was cleared. The only one that didn't get up was Itachi, who must have dozed off, again. How cute3
After everyone got their share of donuts, they all picked a spot in the living room and plopped down, munching away. I walked towards the donuts, seeing if there were any left. There were two chocolate glazed ones, one glazed, and one lemon filled powdered one. I tapped Itachi's head, but he just moved his head to the other side. Ugh...
"Itachi, get up, man." Suddenly, I saw Noodle sitting by me, looking up at me with her green eyes glistening. She knew exactly what she wanted to do. Y'see, she's got this crush on Itachi, which I find incredibly adorable. So, I picked up Noodle, even though she hates being picked up, and I placed her on Itachi's hair, a BIG no no in Itachi's book of rules.
"Noodle says get the Fuck up!" Hidan yelled to Itachi, who was watching over his shoulder. Noodle started meowing in Itachi's ear, doing that claw scratching thing on his hair. But Itachi just ignored her.
"Just leave him to starve man," Hidan said to me. I shrugged and grabbed the lemon donut and a chocolate one, then looked in the living room, and sighed. There's no way I'm going to get a seat. Pein looked up, which surprised me, and pushed Zetsu over, creating a small space on the couch. He patted the space, looking at me. I was honestly contemplating in my head whether or not I should go sit by him. He was somewhat intimidating to me; I've always been nervous around him, even though I've been in the Akatsuki for four years. But, the hormonal teenager spirit in me took control of my legs and brought me into the room, squeezing into the little space. Zetsu then put his arm around the couch, so that my head was resting on his huge muscly arm.
"So, Ava here said she wants an adventure this summer," Kisame said, looking at Pein, who then looked at me as I was stuffing my face with the chocolate donut. Thanks a lot, fish...
"Adventure, huh? How about to Boston? Kakuzu and I had some business up there," he said to me, but his eyebrow rose, looking at my mouth. I tried putting my hand over my mouth, but it was too late. I've been caught red handed! I froze when he reached his hand up to my face, rubbing some chocolate icing off the corner of my lip, causing my face to turn bright red. Then he licked his finger, looking as if it was nothing. What the fuh? Everyone in the room looked at Pein curiously, considering that they already were looking at him, since he was talking about something. The only one that kept eating was Kakuzu. He didn't care about anything, I swear.
"U-um, thanks..." I stuttered, embarrassed. The only ones that would even think of doing that to me are Sasori, Hidan, and Deidara. Pein smiled at me kindly, which of course made me blush even more. This is odd, man. Pein's been acting odd for a while now. Itachi must have heard my thinking, for he shot his head up, staring darkly at Pein. He was staring at him almost as if he knew what Pein's reasoning for this behavior was. Odd.
"So, does Boston sound like a good enough adventure for you, Ava?" Pein was saying all of this sarcastically, making me feel like I was only in the Akatsuki to be entertained by the sexy beasties. So, basically, he made me feel like shit.
"...If it's okay with you guys..." I said shyly, looking away from Pein's gaze and focusing on my donut, nibbling on the...well, you can't really call it the corner of the donut. Hm...Oh Shit. Who cares? The donut. Pein looked over to Kakuzu, whom was probably trying to ignore our talking. That made me realize: they turned the damn TV on, and we were talking through the show...Shit. But wait! Kisame was the one to start it. So it's his fault...Sweet, hopefully they'll blame the blue man for interrupting Chowder...
"Kakuzu, is it alright with you if Ava tags along with us to-,"
"I'm not paying for any of her expenses," The stitchy man said, glaring at me suddenly, as if I just ripped a dollar bill or something. I shook my hair in my face quickly. Hopefully he wouldn't be able to stare into my soul now. Pein was the one closer to him, so he moved his body so Kakuzu couldn't see me, and said, "Chill man. I'll take care of that." What!
"I think I'll be okay with paying for myself..." I protested, looking at the both of them. At this point, a few of the guys got up to put their plates in the sink, and strolled off to different places. The only ones in the room still were Deidara, Pein, Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Itachi, who was finally eating one of his donuts. Noodle was sitting right by his chair, looking up at him sweetly. Spok was probably on the counter, licking at the remaining icings in the Krispy boxes, which was probably not good for him. But then again, the fat cat's like a dog..or a goat. He'll eat anything. Pein shook his head.
"Nope. If you want an adventure, you'll get one. Which means you keep your damn money to yourself. Save it for the Anime stores there, or whatever," I found it pointless to argue with him, so I just nodded, and finished the chocolate donut. Kakuzu rose up from the love seat, taking his plate and, carefully, putting it in the sink.
"Someone needs to do the dishes," he called out to everyone. He looked at the calendar on the fridge. "Ava, your turn." Of course...I quickly rose up from the couch, startling Zetsu. You can't disturb the guy when it comes to Chowder, man. I glanced at Pein's plate, holding my hand out. He placed it in my hand, nodding his thanks, for now he was focused on Chowder. Ah jeez...I turned around and swiped Zetsu's plate from his lap, ignoring him look at my hand surprisingly. Deidara was already at the sink, so I just walked over towards him, and pushed him out of the way playfully. He smirked, but kept his stance, turning the water on for the sink.
"Dei, move it," I whispered. "You know Kakuzu hates it when people help each other with this shit." Dei gave me a dumb look, rolling his eyes.
"That guy needs to get that stick out of his ass then."
"Plus that wad of money," I added, smiling at the funny I made. We both giggled like little girls, until Kakuzu poked his head in-between us, staring at the dishes.
"Deidara, I think you dropped something," he said calmly. Dei shifted his head towards Stitchy, looking into his green irises.
"What is it?" Kakuzu smiled, which I knew instantly that this wouldn't be pretty. He then held up a huge, long stick, and stared at Deidara.
"I think you forgot this stick. Now, if I'm correct, you usually carry it in your Ass. Shall I put it there for you?" He asked darkly. Deidara was abnormally pale, his body frozen. I stifled a laugh at his expression.
"And you," Kakuzu looked at me, the dark ominous cloud swarming towards me. I gulped. Shit.
"Yes?" I squeaked. I thought he was going to get a big wad of money and say something about shoving it up my ass, but he just came up to my face, and whispered in my ear: "The dishes aren't getting cleaned..." Just that made me freeze. Now, it's not because he was somewhat gorgeous; his age was probably one of the reasons I thought he was hot (even though he's 91. Yep. I think a 91 year old's hot here. Utterly Fascinating what fan fiction and Anime do to you). The other reason was you don't, ever, Ever do or talk about Kakuzu in a bad way. Never. He can literally tear you apart. Or something. I don't know, man, the dude's just freaky. Like someone who can't take a hilarious joke. Or someone who Literally has a stick, or a wad of money, stuck up their ass. He's hard to get to laugh.
"I'm on it!" With that, I started scrubbing the closest plate to me, soap suds flying everywhere. Deidara was ushered out of the kitchen by Kakuzu, who looked satisfied with himself. Now Pein and Zetsu were departing the living room now that Chowder was over. Zetty took his leave to go hang outside. He took care of all the plants, etc.
"Noodle, you comin', kitty?" He asked the skinny little turd. He cracked the door open, and Noodle bolted towards the door, meowing like an idiot. As they both left, Pein walked downstairs silently, shutting the door. I sighed quietly, dropping the plates on the towel to dry. I suddenly felt someone wrap their arms around my waist, pulling me toward them, causing me to gasp.
"I thought they would never leave..," Itachi said quietly, rubbing his nose down my neck. I shivered by his touch, but tried focusing on the dishes, and not on Itachi being half naked and clinging onto me...in his purple boxers...with bed head..and his breath on my neck..
"It might be best if you finished the dishes after I'm done with you," Itachi said huskily, tightening his grasp on me. Damn his mind reading powers! And damn him for having enough confidence in himself to say that...Y'see? This is why I love fan fiction! I blushed, but shook my head.
"If I don't finish these, Kakuzu will probably stick the dishes down my throat, then complain that I broke them and make me go pay for more, like the cheap bastard he is." I felt Itachi's breath exhale sharply, as if he was cracking a quiet laugh. I smiled quietly. Finally, the sexy's in a good mood. He clung to me until I was finished putting the last dish on the towel, then I turned around so I was facing him, and smiled shyly.
"Looks like you could use a shower," I said, noticing his hair was actually a little greasy. You would think for a 21-year-old he would have good hygiene. He smiled a tiny smile, and then brought his face closer to mine, startling me. I moved back a bit, but my back dug into the counter. Shit. He smiled, most likely because he was reading my damn thoughts like some annoying Vampire (Hint HINT. Stupid Cullen, thing), and closed the gap between our lips. I immediately closed my eyes, then made a noise, and pushed Itachi's chest away. He looked at me confused, yet annoyed. I put my hand over my nose and mouth.
"Dude, brush your teeth. You reek." He looked at me like I shot a little cat-or SPOK! Like I shot Spok, yes. He loves Spok, you see. Anyway, he looked pathetic! I could have sworn I saw him blush in embarrassment. Ha, how's that for trying to hold up that "beautiful, sexy piece of meat," look? He looked pissed, and said, "Well damn...Looks like you're not getting anymore of me. Bastard." I shrugged.
"No biggie, man. I still have Deidara and Sasori," I teased, although that sounded quite whore-ish. He scoffed, then turned to go to the bathroom. Of course I would watch him turn around! How can I not when he has that tight ass hiding in those amazing boxers? Ah...teenage hormones. Love 'em and hate 'em. I walked towards the opposite counter to throw away the bags and boxes, then saw Spok looking all fat n' cute. I smiled at him, rubbing his fat head. He purred, delighted by being petted.
"Did Spok have a bad ass breakfast?" He meowed his rolling meow, swishing his tail once. I smiled, thumping his head, then tossed the bags away, but saw Itachi staring at me quietly. I looked at him curiously, then walked towards him.
"What?" He suddenly grabbed my wrist and rushed to the bathroom, and slammed the door shut, locking it. Grabbing my face and neck, he attacked my lips harshly, ignoring my protests. Well, at least he didn't taste bad now. Heh, minty freshness. I felt him lick my lower lip, and I gladly gave him the right of way to start a tongue war, causing me to moan softly. By now he had me pressed against the bathroom sink, so that my back was digging into anothercounter. Suddenly, he ground his hips into mine, and he was obviously thinking of something different than I was, given the fact that he was starting to breathe heavily. I pulled my face away from his, but he just moved to my neck, causing my face to turn red. His hands moved down to the hem of my black undershirt, pulling it up a bit. He moved away from me, making me think that he was satisfied, or whatever the right word was. That sounds terrible, no? I hate it...But hey, I'm not good with words. But he just crouched down a bit, spread my legs with his knee, and pulled/pushed me until I was sitting on the sink with my legs around him. He was occupying himself with devouring my neck when I decided this had gone far enough. I pushed on his shoulders, but he just pushed back harder, slamming my head into the wall.
"Ow!" I yelped, grabbing onto my head, even if it didn't hurt that bad. Itachi looked at me, annoyed, then sighed, letting go of his grasp on me, finally.
"Get out. I need to shower," he commanded again, this time more sternly. I looked at his face. Ah jeez. He glared at me, which was the cue that I canceled his "happy time." Um, oops. (sarcasm~)
"If you use my shampoo again, be sure to put the damn cap back on, please. It's rather annoying," I told him, getting off the sink and heading towards the door. I heard him say 'Fuck it," and then I felt myself being pushed in the shower, hard. I gasped, trying to figure out what he was doing, until he got in, this time not wearing his boxers. Oh Shit. I looked at his face, suddenly worried about what he was planning. He put both hands on either side of me, and looked me in the eye. Leaning in, he whispered in my ear:
"Be careful around Pein. He's planning on taking you some time during the trip to Boston. I don't want you to go...But I know how you are. You're in the stupid teenager stage, so you'll think this is no big deal. I'll talk with him sometime later, and hopefully I can get some sense into him so that he won't touch you." I was surprised at this.
"Is..is that why he's been all touchy lately..?" I asked, dumbfounded. He sighed.
"Yes, Ava...I know this doesn't sound like the protective, honest Leader, but he's confused himself. I mean, you're only sixteen. You're fresh meat to all of us Akatsuki. I'm just saying he's been thinking about how you're still a virgin after being with us for four years." I blushed at this. Sure I thought about the guys sexually, but I knew better than to do anything that rash. Itachi stepped out of the way, so I had room to leave the bathroom. He nodded his head, the cue to make me leave. I kept my head up, so I wouldn't see anything...unpleasant, and walked towards the door. As I opened the door, he said these last words: "Try to find someone you're close to other than me that could go with you to Boston. I don't want you leaving with that tight ass Kakuzu and Pein by yourself."
And so began my search to find a sexy to bring with me to Boston.
SO. Wh-what did you think? Ooh...I wish I could beg for a review, but I know many people find that irritating. *cough*
Ah, who am I kidding. Do what you may. Thank you so much for reading it...I really suck when it comes to actually doing things, so it means a lot to me. Yes, I'm pathetic; we all realize that. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, and for the ones who want seconds: there are two more complete chapters to this. But, I will only post them if I have at LEAST five reviews.
S-see what I did there? That's right, sonny; I'm grabbing the axe and going in for the kill. So...I actually am begging for reviews. Wow, way to contradict yourself, Ninja. *smacks Hermione*