A/N: Another prompt fic by yourself truly; the dumbass who suggested the idea without thinking! Well, I never had a brain to begin with… so… Crack fic. Your brain is bound to melt after you read this. It's a Nirianne guarantee.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summary: Prompt: CHOCOLATES ARE EVIL! Bryan is going to make sure nothing gets in his way of conquering this box of chocolates even if it meant going to extraordinary measures to do so!
CHOCOLATES ARE EVIL!
It was only a glass box that separated Bryan from his chocolates. Inside the glass box was the most expensive, mouth watering chocolate in existence and outside the glass box was Bryan, the hardcore local sweet tooth, chocolate addict. This was an evil, evil prank set up by Ian, the evil mastermind. He always wanted to know what lengths Bryan would go to if he confined a box of chocolates behind impenetrable glass. The audience sat there waiting for Bryan to make the first move.
Bryan approached the box tapping it on all sides. He concluded there wasn't a weak spot so he went to faze two of the plan.
"DIE!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, slamming his fist directly onto the glass. The glass didn't budge but Bryan's fist did; it slid off the side of the glass box and into the ground. "MOTHER OF—OW!"
He quickly scrambled up cradling his throbbing fist. Okay, so the glass box could not be destroyed by a single punch. Maybe punching it several times would weaken the glass? It was a possibility. So he did just that, raining his fists onto the glass box. Whatever he did, the glass remained intact. What did break was Bryan's patience. He turned around, storming to a set of chairs; he picked it up and dragged it to the glass box.
"There goes our expensive furniture," Spencer said moving a chess piece. "Who's going to cover the damage?"
Ian and Tala pointed to Bryan.
"Fine,"
Lifting the chair over his head like a maniac, Bryan released a war cry and slammed the steel chair over the glass box but the chair had other ideas; it bounced off the top of the glass box, sending Bryan backwards landing on his behind. Bruised and humiliated, Bryan crawled to the box cursing at the top of his lungs in both in Russian and English. Of course, realistically it was no use but swearing made the situation somewhat better… somewhat. Once he was out of breath, he sat there with his arms and legs crossed devising another plan. If force didn't work, what…would?
VIOLENCE!
Scurrying to his feet, he ran into the house for 'supplies'. Bryan emerged with an arsenal of I-kid-you-not weaponry ranging from grenades to machine guns to just any solid object he found. He was going to win! The trio paused their chess match glancing up at their clearly insane teammate.
"I suggest we move to the underground bunker, don't you agree?" Tala suggested.
The trio removed themselves in what was going to be an 'explosive' situation. Once they were underground and resuming their chess match, Bryan went all out! Above ground the sound of explosions, gunfire and Bryan's war cry echoed around while in the safety of the bunker, Ian moved another chess piece in a Zen-like manner.
"Checkmate,"
He glanced to his wristwatch counting down…
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The boys emerged from the bunker an hour later to witness their backyard completely annihilated with the exception of the glass box which was still in one piece, Bryan still alive and thankfully the mansion still intact. Bryan was on his back panting; he didn't even know what else to do! He thought surely bombs would be the problem solver but apparently not! All he wanted was the chocolates… Snapping his head to the right, he locked eyes with Ian. The younger teen approached him waiting for Bryan to beg.
"Pleaaaaaase, Ian!" Bryan begged, now on his knees. "Please give me the chocolates! I can't live without them!"
Taking pity on his teammate, Ian agreed. Pulling out a key, Ian gave it to Bryan. The older teen snatched the key and scrambled to the glass box. Upon closer examination there was a keyhole! Quickly inserting the key, Bryan's face lit up the moment he heard a distinctive clicking sound. Oh this was one of those moments when lights from Heaven shone down upon him, gracing him with delicious, sweet chocolate! Oh… he could even hear the angels sing!
The moment of truth arrived; Bryan wiped his hands on his trousers then stuck his hand into the glass box, pulling out the tray of delicious, mouth watering chocolates. Popping a piece into his mouth, Ian grinned. It was only a matter of seconds Bryan swallowed the chocolate and found out something was off.
"This is… this is…" he shook.
And it was time for Ian to exit!
Snapping his head around Bryan roared, "IAN YOU LITTLE TROLL! THIS IS DARK CHOCOLATE! I HATE DARK CHOCOLATE!"
So, all in all what did we learn today? No. Chocolates are evil… especially when Ian buys them knowing full well Bryan hates dark chocolate more than anything in this world.