It's been six years. Six solid years of loving Lily Evans, six years of arguing and fighting and having to watch you be with other guys. Other guys who aren't me.

Every time I would ask you out, and every time a little part of me would pray that you would just say 'yes'. It would've been the best gift I could ever have asked for, and all it was was one word.

I don't know why why I put myself through all that pain. You would say 'no' like you always did. And arrogant James Potter would laugh it off with his best mates, but he'd be crying inside. I'd be crying inside.

It was a pitiful hope, a desperate wish that maybe things would change. Of course they wouldn't.

Remus tells me to be patient, but he doesn't understand. I have been patient. I've been patient for the last six years! I don't have any patience left.

I don't know what to do. We've been talking lately. I suppose with us being Head Boy and Girl, we have too. That desperate hope that something would change was still there. I couldn't change the fact that I was in love with Lily Evans. In love with you. No matter how much I wanted to, I didn't know how much more pain I could take from your rejections.

I don't know if anybody has ever told you this, but you, Lily Marie Evans, are beautiful. I don't think you quite understand just how appealing to guys you are, you don't see the way they lust after you, you don't hear the way they talk about you behind your back. I can't take seeing you being kissed, or touched, or looked at by them anymore.

I have to get over you. But I can't, and I think somewhere, deep down, you know that I won't ever get over you.

Give me a chance and I'll show you just how great we can be together. All you have to say is one word - 'yes' - and I'll be the happiest man alive. I'd pick you up and spin you around and I'd listen to your laugh and I'd feel warm and fuzzy inside. I'd probably do some stupid little happy dance involving jumping up and down and grinning until my cheeks hurt. I'd fool around all night, we'd have a ball. I won't give up on you, Lily Evans. Ever.

We come back from patrol. I made you laugh with some ridiculous joke that wasn't even that funny and you look at me and you smile. A proper, genuine smile. The candle relights. There is hope again.

We say goodnight and we part ways, but I know it isn't forever. The best thing was, you called me 'James', not 'Potter' or 'arrogant-toe-rag' You called me James.

The rush I got from seeing you blush faintly as you kissed my cheek goodnight was incredible.

I don't care what Sirius says. He thinks I should move on.

"There is more than one fish in the sea, so take your pick."

That's what he says. He knows, and so do I, that I could get any girl in the world. But the thing is, I don't want just any girl. I want you. I want you because I love you, and life without Lily is like life with no colour.

It's bleak, and grey, there's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, only hopeless mud washed out by the constant rain. Life without you sucks. Even if I spend the rest of my life with you hating me, at least you're there.

I smile back and whisper, "Goodnight Lily," and your smile gets wider.

Your sister sent you a letter today. You got it in the Great Hall. I watched you pale and bite your lip like you do when you're upset or nervous. I couldn't help but think how adorable you are when you do that.

Your friends told me to follow you. They said only I could help. I wasn't sure what that meant.

I got up and followed you back to the Head's dormitory where I found you against the wall, sobbing. I slid down next to you and I took your pretty little face in my hands and with my thumbs I wiped away your tears.

You came closer and put your head on my shoulder. It was the first time I'd ever seem you cry. I wrapped my arm around you, noting how small your waist was and how perfectly we fitted together.

Almost like we were made for each other.

Later you approached me after our rounds and you shuffled from foot to foot wringing your hands, as if you wanted to say something but you weren't quite sure how. I looked you over: your pale skin glowed and you had priceless jewels for eyes. You were so natural, so open and nervous I couldn't help but fall for you all over again. It brought a smile to my face. I think me smiling must've reassured you slightly because you started speaking very rapidly.

I understood you, I always do. I probably know you better than you know yourself, so I recognized your 'apology' face and even though I think it's silly for you to be apologizing because of your sister, I knew you would have been embarrassed.

I told you you were being silly and that you didn't need to apologize, and you looked up at me, so hopeful and innocent and there was something else in your eyes that I couldn't place at the time. I couldn't resist. I stared down into your eyes, which kept dropping to my lips and back to my eyes again.

I bent my head down slowly and tilted your chin up with my hand. I kissed you softly and sweetly and to my surprise you kissed me back.

I was in heaven.

Then you pulled back, and I couldn't tell what you were feeling because you ran, muttering excuses the entire way.

The pain was unbearable. It was like I'd set myself up for failure and you were just playing along.

I can't help you choose your feelings, Lily. If it was up to me, you'd be mine forever. But it's not up to me. Is it?

Sometimes I wish I had never met you, never fallen for you. That way I would have spared myself a whole lot of pain.

Out of nowhere you come flying at me. I open my arms and you don't hesitate to kiss me again.

I cupped your face and whispered, "Are you sure?" and you nodded. You were mine at last. The smile on my face had to be brighter than all the stars and the moon and even the sun put together.

Now I know that all that pain you put me through was worth it.

Written for the Maroon 5 Competition and the Canon Couples Challenge on HPFC.

EDIT NOVEMBER 9th: There was song lyrics, but I removed them due to the fact that song fics aren't allowed. Everytime there's aline, imagine a verse there.

Inspired song: Must get out - Maroon 5.

I own neither the song nor the Characters used in this fic. All rights go to their respective owners.

Thanks to my new Beta - Being A Wallflower = She's a life saver.