I am going to write this then start writing another chapter for Her Angel, check it out if you haven't. This is something that hits close to home, so let me know what you think.
They have hit me. The have yelled at me. They have mentally, and physically abused me. All because I couldn't keep a secret from my best friend. Who just so happened to have a big mouth.
Here is how it happened.
"Hey Mitchie why have you been so quiet lately??" Tess asked me. I had just realized the problem with me. For ages I had been wondering why I felt this way. Now I knew.
"Can you keep a secret??" I ask her. I know she can't but I was hoping, in my ignorance, that maybe she would keep this secret. It had been haunting me since I realized and I needed to get it off of my chest.
"Of coarse I can." she tells me instantly. Now I know that she lied. But it was too late. I told her one of my biggest secrets... I hadn't even told my mum yet.
I knew that Shane would be very angry when he found out. But whatever I imagined was nothing compared to what he said to me.
"MITCHIE!!!!" he yelled as I walked towards my locker. I had stopped and was looking at him smiling, but that had soon changed when I saw the look on his face.
"Yeah Shane??" I said.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!!!! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THEM!!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING. YOUR NOTHIN BUT AN UGLY COW!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I EVEN SAW IN YOU!!" He screamed. Then he blurted it out for all to hear. Now everyone knew.
The way they looked at me.
Their faces looking towards me disgusted.
On the way home they ambushed me. They kicked me to the ground, yelling all sorts of insults. One of them even spat on me. I was so hurt. I managed to get home.
For a week this continued.
The insults.
The beatings.
The cold stares that I got from my so called friends.
But it just got too much. So one afternoon. After I had crawled home after the worst beating so far. My mum was away on catering business for two months, and my dad was away for a week for a hardware store convention. I needed some thing to relieve the pain.
I looked in the garage rummaging through dad's things. Then I saw it. The light from the setting sun was reflecting off it.
I picked it up and limped to my room.
When I got in there I sat on my bed. I looked at the razor, sitting in my hand, whispering to me. 'Use me. Use me. Use me' it was telling me. So did. I ran it across my skin. The pain felt so good. It felt like I was releasing all the pain. I kept on doing it, until I got dizzy and passed out.
I continued cutting.
After two days, I began to dig the razor in deeper. Enjoying the pain. Enjoying the blood that oozed out.
But still, it wasn't enough.
So two days before my Dad came home. I walked into the bathroom. In my hands, I had my razor, and my Mums sleeping pills. I turned the tap of the bath on.
I ran the razor across my skin once more. Even deeper than before. I hiss from the pain. There was black dots in my vision, but I grabbed the bottle of pills and dry mouthed them. I crawled into the bathtub, still dizzy from the pain. Then the world started spinning, and it went black.
By the time my Dad had come home, I was gone.
And all of this happened, because I told Tess that I was a lesbian.
My heart is torn
And all you do is smile
There was once I time when
My heart would jump half a mile
But then you went hurt me
And now my heart is lead
You turned everyone against me
And because of you I'm dead
Please review. Love tashie : )