I Have Made Myself Pretty

by Hikikomori

I am feeling a bit depressed and this is the result! Wrote this when having Ryou writing it in mind, although the things that are mentioned in this fic has happened in real life. [Selfhurting themes.]

NINGEN - Human

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Disclaimer: The opinions in this fic is my own, but the song What's Up People?! by Maximun The Hormone isn't. Meaning I don't own it.

You Are To Be Warned: Self-mutilation (Self-hurting) themes.
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"I've made myself pretty".

I can't see what is so wrong with it.

I do it for my own happiness.

I'm making myself pretty.

Carving letters, words, lyrics, symbols into my skin, a permanent artwork.

NINGEN FUCKER!

Some say, self-mutilation is wrong.

I refuse to take their side. Because they are wrong, they are bad people who does nothing all day but telling how ugly others are, only to make themselves feel better.

I hate humanity.

HEY, WILL YOU SHOCKINGLY ANGER ME?!

It's so stupid.

The human ideal is to be thin.

Thin, beautiful and flawless.

If one single spot is find on my face, humanity will call me ugly.

It's how they work.

Trying to be dominant to others, in order to think of themselves as Gods.

I am God.

HEY HEY, NINGEN SUCKER, AH, NINGEN NINGEN FUCKER!

I am the God that decides over myself. I will not obey what others tell me.

But can I really say that without getting a slight feeling of worry in my heart, that those words will betray me, I will have to listen to others orders, I can't be my own person.

Why?

Because, again, Humanity is stupid.

I carve into my leg, makes a slice there and maybe even there, and reflects on what I've just done.

Words that is so true shines red against my pale skin.

NINGEN FUCKER

I make myself pretty, by carving letters, words from lyrics, words from my own mind, symbols that means something to me, I carve them deep into the skin, because I know they will stay there.

They won't fade, maybe just a little, but I will always remember those times when I laid with a scalpell in my hand, to draw into my flesh, I will remember, I will be able to see those faded scars, to see why I think humanity is so damn stupid.

Does any of this making any sense?

No, thought so.

But no matter what, they will stay in my skin forever, telling the world what I think of it.

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Wrote this when I felt reeeally down and I do not tell people to carve NINGEN FUCKER into their leg… Hurts bad… No, not really, if you're determined, like me, to make it look beautiful…

Ah, screw me, this is getting so damn depressing. Self-mutilation Sucks, that's what it does.

Don't cut ya'll.. StupidstupidstupidstupidIshouldn'thavedoneitinthefirstplaceI'msuchAFUCKER.

This isn't me looking for attention, I just had to write it down somewhere… Can't stand having everything inside to long, if I had, I'd be so dead by now.