Heart
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harukanaru Toki no Naka de or its characters, they are the property of Mizuno Tooko and Koei. If I did own it, I'd have Yasuaki and Eisen fall in love.
This is the sequel to Trust. It can be read as a stand alone.
He put his hand on his chest and hunched over. This pain was familiar, but why was he experiencing it? And why was it stronger than last time? Yasuaki closed his eyes and thought about it, hand rested over his heart. Could it be that he was sensing someone's sorrow? Or maybe he was feeling it? He couldn't tell. He decided he should try to speak with his partner. Ever since Akane, Tenma and Shimon had left their world, Yasuaki had formed a stronger bond with Eisen, even to the point that he no longer used mondai nai to answer Eisen's questions concerning his wellbeing. Heck, he was even more open with the monk, he felt he could tell him anything and not be judged for it...like the time he confessed to Eisen about his origin. He'd even told Eisen that he lacked a heart.
"Yasuaki-dono, you say you lack a heart, but I can hear yours beating strong," was how Eisen replied as he rested his head against Yasuaki's chest.
That was when Yasuaki knew he could trust Eisen with whatever it was he had to say.
Eisen took one last glance at the monestary before advancing in his steps. He had a feeling what he had to ask of the head monk would result in his having to leave. But, it was either that or dispel his thoughts. He couldn't do that, it would be like he was dispeling his own heart. I only asked if it was improper for a monk to keep his mind and heart on someone other than Buddha...but, then again, a lot of the time I had been mentioning him aloud. I suppose it was inevitable if my feelings took that road. But, I do not regret it, and I know Aniue would not cast me away because of my heart. He stopped in his tracks and noticed a certain someone approaching. "Yasuaki-dono?"
The two of them were seated on a log, Yasuaki telling Eisen everything that had been bothering him as of late. Eisen paid close attention to what it was his Hachiyo partner had to say, he knew he was the only one Yasuaki could speak to so openly, it was an honor to know he was trusted so much.
"Just earlier, I felt the pain in my chest. However, it was even more intense than in the past."
Eisen could tell it had confused the onmyouji. "It was your heart that was aching, was it not?"
"Yes, it was. I started to consider that either someone I know or myself was experiencing sorrow. However, I do not know if I am, so if not then it must be another person."
"Then, you may be right. Do you have a feeling you know who that person could be?"
Yasuaki shook his head. "The pain was too intense to be any of the Hachiyo that are still in this world, and despite the bond between Hachiyo and Miko, I am afraid the bond isn't strong enough to surpass the distance between worlds."
"How intense was the pain?"
Yasuaki opened his mouth to explain when he hunched over, his hand over his heart as if to ease the pain.
Eisen quickly moved closer to Yasuaki and rested both of his hands on Yasuaki's shoulders. "Are you alright?"
Yasuaki nodded. "This is the same pain I experienced earlier, but now it has become a bit more intense."
"Do you feel ill?"
"No."
Eisen sighed in relief that his friend wasn't unwell. He'd heard that there were illnesses that could affect the heart, those illnesses could lead to death.
Yasuaki was about to sit up straight when the feeling returned.
"Are you certain you are alright?"
Yasuaki nodded. "I'm alright." He then turned to Eisen. "But, you are not. I now know whose sorrow I am detecting."
Eisen's eyes widened. He didn't even realise. "I am sorry."
Yasuaki shook his head. "Do not be sorry, Eisen, feeling sorrow proves you are alive."
"Yasuaki-dono..."
The pain eased slightly. "Share your troubles with me, Eisen. I may not be able to help, but I will try."
"I appreciate that very much."
Eisen finished explaining about earlier that day. "And I think my sorrow started to affect you when I had upsetting thoughts."
"Upsetting thoughts? Concerning what?"
"You. When you were in pain, I became concerned. Negative thoughts filled my mind as I recalled illnesses of the heart."
"Why is that?"
"Those illnesses can lead to death. The thought of losing you started to upset me."
"I am sorry I worried you."
This time, Eisen shook his head and smiled gently. "Do not be. I was worried because I care about you a lot."
"Eisen..." Without thinking, Yasuaki suddenly wrapped his arms around Eisen loosely. "I thank you. You have shown many times that you care about me, and have made me feel human, something Miko was also able to do. However, when it's you, it feels different."
"Different?"
"I think the word would be special. I do not fully understand why, but I figure it may be because we are partners."
"What if it's more than that, Yasuaki-dono?"
"More than being partners?"
"Yes. There is something that makes my caring about you special."
"I do not understand."
"I won't ask you to understand right away. It is something you need to learn on your own. That is all I can say."
A slight pain returned. "Eisen, you are feeling sorrowful again?"
"A little, but I'll be alright."
"Is it concerning myself? Or because of what happened earlier?"
"A little of both, to be honest. I didn't tell you the exact reason why I left the monestary. I was told to leave because of the path my heart chose."
"You were cast out because of your heart?"
"Yes. While it is one thing for me to love a woman, it's another for me to love a man. Unfortunately, because I am in love with another man, I was no longer welcome at the monestary and was asked to leave. However, I do not feel regret for what I feel in my heart, because it is said the heart never lies."
"Eisen..."
"And that other man I love..."
Yasuaki didn't understand why, but his heart skipped a beat as Eisen trailed off.
"I...I must be leaving now..."
Yasuaki nodded and released Eisen from his embrace reluctantly. Why was I so reluctant?
"I cannot tell you who it is my heart has chosen just yet. I need to know that you understand why it is that when I show I care for you it feels special before I can tell you. Please understand."
"I do understand."
"I thank you. I am sorry to leave like this, Yasuaki-dono."
"Stay safe, Eisen."
"I will. Thank you." Eisen bowed to his partner and left before he could say anything more that could either lead to a happy ending or tragedy.
Yasuaki still sat on that log, thinking hard about why it was that Eisen's caring for him was special. It's more than just being partners...what is it? Unfortunately, he was struggling to understand. He thought about each time Eisen showed how much he cared for him, how he always felt warmth in his heart in the end. He thought about when the same thing happened to those around him...but it was hard because those times it happened when he had little understanding of matters of the heart.
Days passed. Eisen hadn't received an answer from Yasuaki and frankly, he was starting to become upset. "Maybe he doesn't understand what it means to love someone. He understands platonic love, he understands familial love...but what about romantic love? If that is so then...maybe he is unable to feel that sort of love for anybody...for me..." Tears filled his expressive eyes and started to stream down his cheeks. He suddenly hid his face in his hands, hoping to stifle the sobs that came from his mouth. His shoulders shook with each sob. It was at that moment, he felt arms wrap around his torso from behind him.
"Please do not cry, Eisen, it hurts to see you cry..." Yasuaki whispered as he nestled his chin in Eisen's hair.
His sobs came harder and louder.
"Eisen..." He closed his eyes. "If you feel the need to cry, then cry. I will hold you and stay with you until your tears have ceased falling."
Those words...the sobs eased up a little as those words repeated through his mind. "Y-Yasuaki-dono..."
"Why are you weeping? Please tell me."
"I...I can't...it's not that I don't trust you, it's just that..."
Yasuaki tightened his hold. "This is also something you cannot tell me until I tell you that I understand why your caring for me is special. I have come to tell you that I finally understand. It was when I arrived that I saw you were crying. I felt I wanted to try to comfort you. I care about you too, Eisen, I couldn't leave you alone while you were in pain."
Eisen moved his hands from his face. "You...you understand? Truly?"
"Yes. It was all I had thought about for the last few days. I finally understand. It is special because you are someone very important in my life, not because you are my partner, but because you are a very dear friend to me. However, the depth of the friendship I hold for you is much, much deeper than what I hold for Miko and the other Hachiyo. It's so deep that it's beyond the point of just friendship."
"Yasuaki-dono..."
"Is that the answer?"
"Yes. That is why we feel the amount of someone's caring for us to be special. You really do understand. I am glad." Eisen turned in Yasuaki's hold and rested his head against the onmyouji's chest. "I can now tell you who my heart has chosen." He glanced up and looked into the mismatched eyes of his partner. "Yasuaki-dono, the one my heart has chosen...is you."
The mismatched eyes widened and then softened. "Then I now understand why it is that you could not tell me. You didn't want your feelings to be known as of yet because it might confuse me in understanding the truth of my own heart."
"Yes, that is exactly right. I didn't want to confuse your heart." He reached a hand up and brushed aside Yasuaki's bangs. "It was something you had to understand yourself, something I couldn't help with because it would mean I was interfering."
"I understand." Yasuaki leaned down a little. "My heart has chosen you, Eisen."
"Yasuaki-dono..."
"I love you." He leaned down a little further.
"I love you as well."
After another couple of inches, Yasuaki's lips met with Eisen's in a tender kiss.
After a few seconds, they parted. Eisen wrapped his arms around Yasuaki's torso and felt himself being pulled closer. He rested his head against the onmyouji's chest and heard his heart beating as strong as ever, however, it seemed a little lighter.
Yasuaki smiled gently as he rested a cheek on top of Eisen's head, the violet hair tickling his skin. He had never felt as peaceful as he did when he had the monk he loved in his arms.
The End