Hey friends! I wrote one fic and I guess I couldn't stay away, so I'm back. I basically got the idea from writing the first drabble, and instead of trying to fit it into a whole story, thought it could be cool to showcase a bunch of smaller, but cohesive chronological moments. They're all written in order EXCEPT for the Nick drabble closer to the bottom (and the Jess/Cece/facetiming one can kind of be seen as a whenever type thing). The general consensus is about it being "firsts," but unconventional ones. May potentially expand if I get more ideas!

Disclaimer: I don't own New Girl. Also joke's on y'all because I don't own the story title either- it's based on lyrics by Vance Joy. I chose them after much debate over that or Sheryl Crow, but ultimately decided to stay culturally relevant with the rest of 2016 (though I have no doubt that Jess is still a serious Sheryl Crow fan).

The first time Winston tells them, the whole loft brushes it off, barely even sparing a passing glance his way when the words came out of his mouth. He has to admit, he couldn't blame them. Even he thought he- Prankmaster Flash himself- was being one-upped when he first heard the news. It takes him a few more tries and countless rolled eyes from Aly until reality finally sets in among their crew.

"Aly's pregnant."

Winston has been telling Jess, Schmidt and Cece daily for the past five days, adding more bombastic detail each time to try and seem more convincing, but only leading them to think it was just more icing on the cake of his typical hijinks. After all, this was the man who was still married- as a prank.

It's actually taken more work from Aly than himself.

"Okay, guys, honestly. I know Winston has a rep around the loft. And the police department. And the closest Whole Foods. But please- just listen to him this one time. Put reality aside, if not for him, then for me," Aly pleaded, though she wasn't angry or upset, just hormonal and tired of hearing Winston rehearsing his updated news announcement that he'd deliver the following day, only to be brushed off once again.

Sighing, the three finally abandoned their respective tasks and slowly, cautiously approached the central area of the living room, perching lazily on the couch, not yet choosing to actually commit to taking a real seat.

"C'mon, make yourselves at home…in your own home," she sighed, trying to lure them to get more comfortable.

They hardly budged, still glancing at the two with skepticism. Jess looked like she was waiting for something unexpected to pop out at any moment. For a second she imagined if the surprise would possibly be Nick- she would consider it Winston's best prank yet. Not to mention what she imagined going on afterwards behind closed doors. Yep, all a total 100% prank.

"Jeeze, how much pranking do you do when I'm not around that they literally have zero trust in you?!" Aly grumbled under her breath in astonishment, which was met simply with a knowing smirk and sideways glance from Winston.

"Anyway, look- for literally the tenth time this week, the news is true- Aly's pregnant!" Despite having said it handfuls of times already, he didn't have to fake his enthusiasm, as a genuine giddiness bubbled up inside him each time he was forced to try again.

The rest of the gang looked at them blankly.

"Aly- the reinforcements," Winston said authoritatively, his tone changing to cop mode.

With that, Aly was also all business, whipping out a manila envelope and pulling out Exhibit A- the sonogram photo.

Jess and Cece both immediately softened, small cheers escaping their mouths as they hopped up to surround Aly and coo over the photo. Schmidt moved closer as well, but maintained a few feet worth of distance.

"They do sell those things on the black market y'know!" He protested slightly, but his tone changed nearly immediately and he approached Winston, pulling him into a hug.

"Congrats, man, didn't know you had it in ya."

"What? The skills to make a baby?" Winston pulled back, slightly incredulous.

"No, the resolve to not just have a prank baby," Schmidt shook his head, then stepped over to congratulate Aly.

"At least now we know all that raucous lovemaking had a purpose," Jess rolls her eyes, looking up from the sonogram.

"Damn right it did!" Winston pumps his first proudly. "That ish wasn't just raucous lovemaking, it was raucous babymaking!"

They all groan but Aly follows hers with a small smile of pride and affection, locking eyes with Winston as their friends continue poring over the barely-there photo of their eventually-human-looking baby.

The first time Cece publicly feels her envy is when they go to the bar to celebrate a few hours afterwards. She could've sworn up and down she'd be the first to be pregnant- after all, she and Schmidt just got married, for Christ's sake.

But then they're all 'cheers'-ing and Jess slips her an additional shot on the sly because thanks to their overwhelmingly empathetic best friend connection she could sense Cece's slight unease the moment the news came out and suddenly she's glad she's allowed alcohol during a time like this and reminds herself that it's not a competition. She also acknowledges that yes, Winston and Aly do truly love each other (besides Winston's pesky other marriage) and, even bigger yes, it is so completely par for the course of their gang for Winston to get fake married then real pregnant with a completely different woman, rather than the two who just got married or- let's face it- the two stubborn ones who are destined to get married eventually.

The first time Jess calls him since he's been gone is a few days after Winston and Aly's news. They've texted here and there, mainly random thoughts and jokes peppered with a few non-committal "miss you"s and "hope everything's great!"s. Then again he's only been gone for a little under a month. But a call is different.

It's 2am here and 4am there, and regardless of the time difference she knows there's no way he's awake. But still, she dials and he picks up after two rings. But she doesn't say anything. Big news has hit their crew and normally the two of them would talk about it. It feels wrong not to. But she doesn't really know what to say, so she just sits there while he calls her name and says hello a few times, telling her that he knows she's there. Sighing and disappointed with herself, not to mention a bit embarrassed, she hangs up soon after.

It takes him an excruciating two minutes to return the call, which she answers immediately, finally ready to talk.

"Hey," she says breezily.

"Hey," his voice is gruff, a little quiet, and Jess is assuming that's because Reagan is asleep not too far away.

"Sorry if I woke you," she apologizes quietly.

"Nah, couldn't really sleep." Jess can imagine him shrugging.

"Crazy, huh? The loft's first baby," she chuckles.

Nick laughs, too. "I can't believe, of all of us."

"I KNOW," Jess squeals, and suddenly the conversation slips back into a comfortable groove. "I mean, lapping the newlyweds, that's just poor etiquette."

"Y'know, when he told me at first, I thought it was a prank."

"Nick, trust me- Winston tried to tell us ten times," Jess explains. "It wasn't until we got the real photo evidence that we believed."

"I mean, they do sell those things on Craigslist. And used pregnancy tests," Nick jokes.

Jess rolls her eyes. "Schmidt said the same thing."

"I could literally feel you rolling your eyes through the phone, Jess," he chuckles.

A blush creeps up her cheeks. "Guilty."

A few seconds of comfortable silence pass.

"So how is it over there?" Jess isn't sure if she's referring to New Orleans or Reagan or the weather or anything else.

"Well, right now- dark," he deadpans. "But good. I'm having a good time. Feeling a little off the grid."

A sharp momentary pain shoots through Jess's chest, but she quickly recovers, laughing slightly. "You're in a densely populated modern city, not backpacking in the Himalayas."

"Anything that's not Los Angeles or Chicago feels like another planet. Hell, even the Whole Foods down the block from the loft…but that's probably because Winston got banned," Nick admits. "But really, you have to see this place- it's awesome. I think you'd like it. You should visit."

A weak "umm, maybe" is all she has to offer before a momentary silence falls between them once more, this time more awkward than the last.

"Nick do you ever…think about having kids?" She asks a little shakily, fully acknowledging the potential weirdness that could ensue.

"I don't really- …I mean, yeah. Realistically I don't even think about tomorrow's breakfast, but yeah I think I do…want kids, I mean," he sighs.

"Yeah," Jess says quietly, not having any follow-up to that question. "Well, I should go to bed. It's parents' day tomorrow which means Feelings Farm 2.0."

"Yeesh. Good luck," Nick grimaces, but laughs weakly, still reeling over her previous question.

"Um, 'night, Nick," Jess smiles slightly.

"Goodnight, Jess."

They both hang up their phones with a deep exhale, wondering how they'd ended up in this mess. Well Jess knew exactly how. Cece brings it up once in a while, but often shies away from the subject, trying to protect Jess's feelings. Just as Jess knows about Cece's jealousy over the Winston and Aly pregnancy, Cece is well aware of nearly just how much of Jess's day and brain is already dedicated to a certain traveling roommate (and she's not talking about Coach). It's second nature for them both.

The first time Winston gets to Skype with Rhonda about the pregnancy, Aly's next to him as always. Rhonda, too, initially replies with a "Damn, that's a good one," until she realizes that it's actually not a prank and he's actually going to have a baby. In true Winston fashion, they've been having these Skype sessions since about a week after he and Aly got together, first explaining the situation and, after Rhonda's approval and congratulations, giving each other weekly updates on their lives. Aly finds it more or less exhausting, yet every time she ends up marveling over how she got so damn lucky, somehow. Rhonda insists on retelling her marriage prank with Winston and explaining in painstaking detail how he "got Rhonda'd" while laughing boisterously, though it's a story that Aly's heard about…thirty times by now. She then turns her excitement back to their bun in the oven.

"I can not wait to be that little guy or girl's godmother!" She gushes, while Winston and Aly both glance at one another with slight panic in their eyes, though still trying to play along.

They eventually both have to go, and once the screen goes black, Aly pats her stomach and promises their growing baby that that would never happen. Winston agrees, leaning over and kissing Aly while laying a hand on her abdomen, but then swiftly is off in his own world, musing about what'll be "Baby's First Prank."

The first time Cece and Schmidt really talk about it is in the loft about a week after the news breaks and the initial shock has worn off- or so they think. The pair is casually grocery shopping and next thing they know all they can see are cinnamon buns and hamburger buns and ciabatta buns. They turn to each other with matching horrified looks as if on cue.

"We gotta get the hell outta here," Cece declares.

With that, they abandon their cart and bolt out of the store.

"I don't even know how that happened!" Schmidt remarks as they're still running. "I can't even remember the last time I ate a carb!"

They're slightly out of breath when they get back to the car and drive in silence to the loft, Cece just staring out the window.

Their rush to get back upstairs is still frenzied and upon realizing nobody else is home, she just plops on the couch, face-first.

"Tequila," They both agree simultaneously, Cece's response slightly muffled by the couch cushion.

Schmidt soon joins her on the couch and suddenly they're passing the bottle back and forth taking swigs. This happens three times before they finally slow down and decide to actually emote.

"I didn't think it was gonna hit me like that," she admits, a little abashedly.

"I think I've just been trying to distract myself with work and nearly anything else," Schmidt shakes his head.

"It's not that I'm not happy for them, y'know- I am. I mean, it's Winston and Aly, for Christ's sake. How can you not be?" Cece sighs. "But then again, we're the ones who just got married."

"Girl," he says in his way that's only really affectionate between the two of them, for nostalgia's sake. "Trust me, I know. I mean I'm the one who's spreading the Schmidt seed after all."

Cece chooses to ignore the somewhat douchiness of that statement by taking another swig.

"But think about it this way- if we were having a baby right now, you would not be able to do this," Schmidt reasons by taking the bottle from her and taking his own drink from it.

"Y'know, not the first time that point has been made to me," she laughs.

"I guess the real thing I'm trying to say is- there was a point in my life when I wasn't even sure if I'd ever get you back, and now that I did, forever- never mind those pesky divorce rates- I'm not in any rush. When we finally do have a baby it's gonna be the happiest day of my life solely because it's with you, regardless of the timing."

Cece feels her eyes welling up as she throws her arms around Schmidt's neck and kisses him tenderly. They spend the rest of the afternoon brainstorming baby names and drinking tequila. Needless to say, Jess, Winston and Aly are all confused to come home and find them sleeping- and snoring- on the couch in a heap later that evening.

The first time Jess walks in on Cece facetiming Reagan is a random Saturday when she's back early from running errands. The realization hits her with a dull pain she can't quite put her finger on and Cece turns around, startled for a second like a child who's been caught.

There's a pain in her eyes but she quickly brushes it off, calling out an "Oh sorry!" and rushing to her room.

She sits on her bed and chides herself for being silly. She also supposes she should've said hello. She can hear Cece's voice rising a bit with a pinch of annoyance as she says "Well it's not like we all don't know what's going to happen, anyway- everyone knows how and where he's meant to end up by now!"

A few moments later Cece opens her door a crack, furtively sticking her head in until the rest of her body follows. She perches on the edge of Jess's bed tentatively.

"Hey. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" she begins.

"No, Ceec, don't be crazy. This isn't a contest," Jess rolls her eyes.

"I know, but I mean I know you're hurt. I know you tried to do what you thought was right and that Nick made a big boy choice but also Reagan played a part in it, obviously," Cece responds apologetically, patting Jess on the knee.

"Honestly- I'm fine. It's fine," Jess insists.

"Ya sure? Because your eyes are doing that crazy thing..." Cece is clearly not convinced.

"What crazy thing?!"

"Oh, just the thing they do when you're hangry or jealous or ESPECIALLY whenever Nick gets brought up. And they've been in overdrive lately."

"They do not!"

"Whatever you say, sista. So, since I still feel like a bad friend- froyo?" Cece extends a proverbial olive branch.

"You are not a bad friend. But yes."

The first time Jess hears from Sam since the breakup is in the form of a 'save the date' to his fall wedding with Diane. It comes, somewhat ironically, on the heel of her arrival home after both a bad day at work and a dud date. She just stares at the calligraphied card stock in her hand as she only faintly hears the rants and disparaging remarks about it from Schmidt and Cece.

Suddenly the living room has become the Comedy Central Roast of Dr Sam Sweeney and she escapes the madness, slipping into her room quietly and pulling out her phone. She clicks away at a snarky, passive aggressive and even slightly vitriolic (well, for Jess) response to Sam's invite. She sets the phone down on her desk as the blue line blinks at the end of her text, prompting her to either write more or send. Contemplating for a few minutes, she sighs and deletes the whole thing, then goes back and deletes his entire contact from her phone. She instead opens a new message to Nick, sending nothing but a photo of the save the date in her hand.

Little more than 5 minutes later, her phone rings.

"Seriously?" Nick's voice flatly comes through as he forgoes any type of greeting.

"Yes sir," Jess groans.

"What a dick," he scoffs, and if Jess were an angrier person she'd remark that he wasn't much better right now.

"Tell me about it. Matchmaker extraordinaire, am I right?" She jokes weakly and can practically hear Nick grimace through the phone.

"I'm sorry he did that to ya. I'm trying to come up scenarios in which he'd think that's a good idea and when even Nick Miller can't create logic behind an idea, you know it's a truly stupid one."

Jess hears a lot of noise behind him that resembles that of a crowded restaurant, remembering their time difference once again, she sighs.

"Nick, you're out at dinner, aren't you?" Despite being secretly elated that he chose to interrupt his dinner plans to take the call, she can't help but feel her teacher pangs of disappointment over his improper manners taking over.

"So?"

Boys. "Hang up the phone, enjoy your food, have fun with Reagan."

"But you need me."

The line tugs at her heartstrings and almost keeps her from saying what she says next.

"Only a little bit," she isn't sure why her voice sounds more like a squeaky whisper now. "But I'll still be here later. Don't worry about me."

"Ya know you can't ask me to do that, Jess! But okay, I will go now. But text me!"

"You got it, dude."

They say their semi-awkward goodbyes (why is that part always SO WEIRD?) and hang up, Jess suddenly feeling a bit better.

But she still was NOT going to that wedding.

The first time Nick thinks he might've made a mistake is not long after he boards the plane, to be honest. Reagan's job upgraded her to first class, but didn't account for a companion, so he's making himself comfortable in coach (not to be confused with Coach, the person, who he missed dearly), being thankful for the window seat, but less thankful for the woman next to him with a toddler on her lap.

Nick has never been crazy about flying. And now he's preparing for takeoff with the rest of the cabin and desperately wishes someone was there to grab his shaking hand but it probably wouldn't be acceptable to force it upon his flight neighbor, though she isn't wearing a wedding or engagement ring. He knows that if Jess was there she'd do it. Hell, she wouldn't have even accepted the first class invite if he couldn't go too. But he's not mad at Reagan, not really.

In need of a distraction, he starts playing some mindless game on his phone that Winston made him download, and even though the crew has told them multiple times to make sure their phones are on airplane mode, his still isn't and a text slips through. He looks around guiltily, hoping that the small "ping!" noise didn't put a target on his back. Nobody seems to notice or care except the small child to his left. It's from Jess.

Deep breaths, Miller- you got this! Good luck xo J :-)

He chuckles at her dumb emoticon usage (why did she always insist on the hyphen nose?), but overall feels his body relax. Next thing he knows, the plane is rising into the air and he hasn't gotten a chance to respond, but suddenly he's wondering just how much trouble one can get in for opening a window or emergency exit or if it's really like in the movies and all the air will get sucked out. But then the seatbelt sign is off and Reagan's snuck out of first class. Before he can ask her what she's doing she passes his row and subtly nods her head towards the bathroom with a raised eyebrow. He glances back at his phone, feeling conflicted for a second, then sighs, stuffing it in his bag and getting up, leaving a few moments of distance between himself and Reagan to avoid suspicion (everyone still knows anyway).

I know I teased Jess and Nick a shit ton with no real action, because I'm an evil human being. I have a few more up my sleeve for the next "chapter" and will be posting them soon after some editing. Anyway, reviews are always welcome and encouraged and wholly appreciated! Thanks SO much for reading!