Disclaimers: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter (*mutters something about her
getting away with blatant plagiarism and getting loaded as well, grr*)
Story Notes: Slash; I know stalking's not nice, but this piece of silliness just had to be written.
Reviews: Please, this is my first story in this fandom.
Two annoyed fifth years had been summoned to Dumbledore's office. They stood sullenly, occasionally giving each other sidelong glances through narrowed eyes.
"What is going on?"
"Malfoy is stalking me." The only reason that Harry had ended up in Dumbledore's offices was that his own efforts to put Malfoy off had failed; the repulsion charms, not washing for a week, snogging just about every girl in the school and finally in desperation spreading rumours about himself preferring the company of centaurs. Malfoy had not got the hint.
"As if I would demean myself by stalking a Griffindor."
"Come on Malfoy. The whole school knows you're doing it. You even started when we were in first year you sick bastard!"
"Language Mr. Potter!"
"Sorry Sir. But if you want to ask anyone, they can tell you, he follows me around! Its getting to the point where I can't concentrate."
"Alright. I admit that I have followed you on occasion. However, you keep breaking the school regulations; how do I know that you aren't in the services of Him?"
Harry couldn't believe he was being accused of being a servant of Voldemort by Malfoy of all people, but felt that this was not an observation he felt Dumbledore would appreciate. "And how exactly would I be serving the Dark Lord in the shower?"
Malfoy smirked. "I don't know. You tell me."
It was only their current situation and Harry's self control that stopped Malfoy getting a smack in the mouth.
"Sir, you have the evidence there in front of you."
"Ah, yes. A statement from a Griffindor Prefect, who caught you having broken in to their dorm, stealing some of Harry's underwear."
"A prank sir. The Pants Of The Boy Who Lived; we were going to put up an exhibit in our common room, sir." Dumbledore gave him a harsh look. "I'm sorry sir. It was immature, but hardly stalking."
"And this, a statement from assorted male Griffindors, that you appeared, apparently from nowhere, whenever Harry went into the bathroom, and in their words 'ogled'."
Harry winced with the recollection of the various kidney problems that had landed him in the Infirmary after he started trying to avoid visiting the bathroom when Malfoy was around.
"This is simply the Griffindors attempting to reduce the Slytherin lead! They haven't got a chance of catching up with us, so they're making up stories about me stalking Potter. This is unfair victimisation."
"Draco, you are aware that these reports come from members of other houses as well? I have here a report from a Hufflepuff prefect who caught you behaving suspiciously in the Griffindor changing room during a Quidditch match."
"I was doing a little espionage into their team tactics to try and give us a bit of an edge, sir."
"I also have report from a Ravenclaw of seeing you hovering about on your broomstick around the Griffindor dorm windows."
"They are merely misinterpreting my Quidditch practice."
Dumbledore sighed. "Mr. Malfoy, we conducted a search of your rooms today and found these."
With suitable drama Dumbledore emptied the contents of a sack over his desk. Pictures of Harry. Hundreds of pictures of Harry, all obviously taken when he was unaware. The pictures noticed Malfoy in the room and hundreds of Harry Potters as one hid behind things in their pictures.
"Do you have an explanation for this, Mr. Malfoy?"
"Ummmm. Research for defence against the dark arts….?"
Harry stared at Malfoy, who seemed to be at a loss for once. He blushed under the scrutiny, and Harry looked back at Dumbledore.
"Mr. Malfoy, I could tell you to desist from following Mr. Potter, but if you were susceptible to that kind of pressure you would have stopped some time ago. Therefore, I am left with only one option for punishment. Tonight, at dinner, you will declare your undying love for Harry." He passed to Malfoy a piece of parchment. "I have taken the liberty, with not a little aid from numerous pupils of the school, of preparing a speech for you."
Malfoy read through the parchment, becoming redder and redder. "But, but I can't say this! I can't! All this about his beautiful eyes, and, and, how his voice lights up my day! I'll never live it down."
"That, Mr. Malfoy, is the point. You may leave gentlemen." As Malfoy headed to the door Dumbledore added, "And I would not consider trying to enact any vengeance, Mr. Malfoy."
Malfoy left following Harry, beetroot red and muttering under his breath. Dumbledore waited until the door was shut, put a quick silence charm on the room then collapsed into a fit of hysterics. He was going to make sure that Malfoy's declaration was recorded. Fighting the forces of darkness rarely gave one the opportunity for this much amusement.
Story Notes: Slash; I know stalking's not nice, but this piece of silliness just had to be written.
Reviews: Please, this is my first story in this fandom.
Two annoyed fifth years had been summoned to Dumbledore's office. They stood sullenly, occasionally giving each other sidelong glances through narrowed eyes.
"What is going on?"
"Malfoy is stalking me." The only reason that Harry had ended up in Dumbledore's offices was that his own efforts to put Malfoy off had failed; the repulsion charms, not washing for a week, snogging just about every girl in the school and finally in desperation spreading rumours about himself preferring the company of centaurs. Malfoy had not got the hint.
"As if I would demean myself by stalking a Griffindor."
"Come on Malfoy. The whole school knows you're doing it. You even started when we were in first year you sick bastard!"
"Language Mr. Potter!"
"Sorry Sir. But if you want to ask anyone, they can tell you, he follows me around! Its getting to the point where I can't concentrate."
"Alright. I admit that I have followed you on occasion. However, you keep breaking the school regulations; how do I know that you aren't in the services of Him?"
Harry couldn't believe he was being accused of being a servant of Voldemort by Malfoy of all people, but felt that this was not an observation he felt Dumbledore would appreciate. "And how exactly would I be serving the Dark Lord in the shower?"
Malfoy smirked. "I don't know. You tell me."
It was only their current situation and Harry's self control that stopped Malfoy getting a smack in the mouth.
"Sir, you have the evidence there in front of you."
"Ah, yes. A statement from a Griffindor Prefect, who caught you having broken in to their dorm, stealing some of Harry's underwear."
"A prank sir. The Pants Of The Boy Who Lived; we were going to put up an exhibit in our common room, sir." Dumbledore gave him a harsh look. "I'm sorry sir. It was immature, but hardly stalking."
"And this, a statement from assorted male Griffindors, that you appeared, apparently from nowhere, whenever Harry went into the bathroom, and in their words 'ogled'."
Harry winced with the recollection of the various kidney problems that had landed him in the Infirmary after he started trying to avoid visiting the bathroom when Malfoy was around.
"This is simply the Griffindors attempting to reduce the Slytherin lead! They haven't got a chance of catching up with us, so they're making up stories about me stalking Potter. This is unfair victimisation."
"Draco, you are aware that these reports come from members of other houses as well? I have here a report from a Hufflepuff prefect who caught you behaving suspiciously in the Griffindor changing room during a Quidditch match."
"I was doing a little espionage into their team tactics to try and give us a bit of an edge, sir."
"I also have report from a Ravenclaw of seeing you hovering about on your broomstick around the Griffindor dorm windows."
"They are merely misinterpreting my Quidditch practice."
Dumbledore sighed. "Mr. Malfoy, we conducted a search of your rooms today and found these."
With suitable drama Dumbledore emptied the contents of a sack over his desk. Pictures of Harry. Hundreds of pictures of Harry, all obviously taken when he was unaware. The pictures noticed Malfoy in the room and hundreds of Harry Potters as one hid behind things in their pictures.
"Do you have an explanation for this, Mr. Malfoy?"
"Ummmm. Research for defence against the dark arts….?"
Harry stared at Malfoy, who seemed to be at a loss for once. He blushed under the scrutiny, and Harry looked back at Dumbledore.
"Mr. Malfoy, I could tell you to desist from following Mr. Potter, but if you were susceptible to that kind of pressure you would have stopped some time ago. Therefore, I am left with only one option for punishment. Tonight, at dinner, you will declare your undying love for Harry." He passed to Malfoy a piece of parchment. "I have taken the liberty, with not a little aid from numerous pupils of the school, of preparing a speech for you."
Malfoy read through the parchment, becoming redder and redder. "But, but I can't say this! I can't! All this about his beautiful eyes, and, and, how his voice lights up my day! I'll never live it down."
"That, Mr. Malfoy, is the point. You may leave gentlemen." As Malfoy headed to the door Dumbledore added, "And I would not consider trying to enact any vengeance, Mr. Malfoy."
Malfoy left following Harry, beetroot red and muttering under his breath. Dumbledore waited until the door was shut, put a quick silence charm on the room then collapsed into a fit of hysterics. He was going to make sure that Malfoy's declaration was recorded. Fighting the forces of darkness rarely gave one the opportunity for this much amusement.