So, I had this sitting on my computer for a while now and it was originally going to be a one-shot but then I thought what the heck and now there will be more chapters. Hotsuma got Shusei back from Ashley and now he wants a kiss (for now). It's not an easy task LOL

Hotsuma slumped himself on the big bed in Shusei's bedroom, inhaling the scent of his older partner deeply. Shusei had been called to the police headquarters directly after school, one of Takashiro-san's drivers had picked him up which had left Hotsuma all by himself on his way back to the mansion. Already missing his brunette partner, the only place he could think of to be near him was his room. More precisely, Shusei's bed.

The need to be with his partner and friend had amplified since he had rescued him from Ashley's claws. Hotsuma couldn't rationalize this part of his feelings quite fully and it frustrated him to no end sometimes but that didn't make the cold knot in his belly go away when Shusei wasn't with him. Too fresh the memories of when he had found his beloved hanging from the wall in the amusement park where the opts had held him. Too real the fear of something like that happening again.

He hadn't wanted to go home from school with Yuki and Luka-kun since he found it almost physically painful to watch those two together. Yuki was oblivious to a degree that was close to stupidity while Luka was suffering in silence and being near those two made him inwardly cringe. At best, Hotsuma simply wanted to knock their heads together and yell at them to just KISS, for heaven's sake. Which would most likely make him puke but he was willing to hazard the consequences.

But he was one to talk. Shusei and he had shared one intimate moment since he had brought him back from the Ashley ordeal.

One freaking moment and as always, Hotsuma had all but screwed up by letting his temper flare. He hadn't been able to help it. When Shusei had said those words -

I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do it anymore.

…

So it would be better if I just disappeared.

cold, naked fear to loose his only partner for eternity had gripped his heart and blacked out everything else. He hadn't known what to do other than grab Shusei's collar and shake some sense into his thick skull. He had felt so helpless at hearing those words that giving way to his anger had seemed to be the best option to cope with this crippling fear.

In the end, however, they shared a long embrace and he remembered how good it had felt to hold his partner so close. In fact, it had felt so incredibly wonderful that he had wanted to never let go of Shusei again. The moment he had wrapped his arms around his partner's fragile frame had opened his eyes. There would never ever be another person for him to fill that special place in his heart.

He still wanted to slap himself for not having had tried more then. But he had been so overwhelmed with all the different emotions, scents and feelings that he hadn't even thought about to shift his head a little to the side and kiss Shusei. Happy beyond words and relieved that his partner, his friend, had come back from the dead to him had dominated his thoughts. Even though it had scared him to no end that Shusei had wanted to die, leaving him all alone in this world forever, the joy of holding his friend had outweighed the pain and worry he had felt in that moment.

Ever since, the thought had been planted in his head. He wanted to have that kiss. And much, much more than that to be honest. More of this closeness, more of the physical contact, simply more of HIM. To Hotsuma, Shusei was simply irresistible. That didn't even convey the kind of need he had for him.

And for that stupid death wish, he would beat it out of his thick skull if necessary. Or love it away. Whatever was more applicable. Maybe he would beat him first and then love him?

Hotsuma gasped audibly at the thought of making love to Shusei and shook his head. They hadn't even kissed, how could he possibly think of doing that? But the gates had been opened and images with Shusei in various states of undressedness kept invading his mind.

So much for the theory though. Despite of knowing exactly what he wanted, he had no clue how to get it.

Because even though he had all the words lined up in his head, they wouldn't come out when he was with Shusei. The brunette either rendered him speechless or reduced him to a mumbling idiot on pretty much every occasion he had tried to breach the topic. Instead of just spitting it out, Hotsuma hid behind his loud mouth and bad temper to cover up the way he truly felt.

And never mention the way Shusei looked at him. These amber eyes saw right through him, outright deflated him, blowing all the so carefully prepared sentences out of the window. Which usually made him angry. Not so much at Shusei (well, maybe a little) but more at himself because he just couldn't seem to get it right. That always was the point when his temper took over and things went downhill.

All the while, his partner wouldn't be making it easier for him. Oh no, the opposite was the case. Shusei would simply stand there, in silence, with a small smile on oh these gorgeous lips, and watch him cursing and yelling at him. From time to time, he would even offer some advise or smart ass comment which, of course, didn't help at all. Other than pouring only more fuel into the fire, that was.

At this rate, he would never get what he wanted. Why was it so difficult anyway? They had been together as lovers before, they knew each other inside and out but so why the awkwardness?

Hotsuma sighed heavily, ready to bang his head against the dark wooden headboard of Shusei's bed just to ease some of his frustration -

"It is rude to lay down on somebody else's bed without taking one's school uniform off first."

- and almost fell off the bed at the sound of Shusei's softly admonishing voice. Hotsuma scrambled, trying to rise to a stand but failing miserably because of those godforsaken sheets that had decided to get tangled inseparably with his legs.

"Fucking christ, do you have to sneak up on me like this?" He turned to face the brunette, ready to unleash a spate of curses when the double meaning of Shusei's words suddenly hit him. Whatever it was that had just been on his mind was flying out of the window with a single strike, leaving him frantically searching for words to cover up his rapidly growing embarrassment.

And the fact that his face was turning into the proverbial tomato wasn't so not helping.

"This is my room." Of course, Shusei stated the obvious. He came closer, casually dropping his jacket and his bag in the armchair along the way. Finally, Hotsuma had turned around enough to face him, cheeks still flaming red. The sight of the young man in front of him blew his breath away - as always. There wasn't a single time when he looked at Shusei that he hadn't marveled about the fact how beautiful he was.

"Looks like you need some help with the sheets." Shusei pointed out with a level voice but Hotsuma could hear the subtle smile in Shusei's words which made him curse silently. This was just going to be another moment of failure for him. How could the other be so calm and collected when he himself was so, well, not.

It made him want to pull his hair out. Why was it so difficult for him to just say the words he had been keeping for so long inside his heart?

He already knew the answer to his question. As skilled as he was in combat, his conversational talents if there were any simply sucked big time. Not that he hadn't thought about this over and over again - he actually thought a lot, more than people would actually give him credit for - the talking part was where he screwed up royally each time.

"I don't need any help." He managed to free himself rather clumsily and stood. "It's just a freaking SHEET!" The last word came out louder than he had planned and he slammed his fist that was still clenched around the stupid fabric into the mattress.

See? There it was happening again and there was nothing he could do from stop himself and his loud mouth.

"Now look what you have done to my bed." Shusei, seemingly completely unfazed by this outburst, had closed the remaining distance between them and took the sheet out of his hand, prying each single finger away from the silky sheet.

"You should help me at least to straighten everything." Shusei went on, looking at him ever so calmly. His partner's flaring temper didn't seem to unnerve him in the slightest. That smug look on the brunette's face all but sent Hotsuma into overload.

"What's the point in making the bed now?" He huffed gruffly. "It's almost dark outside." The touch of Shusei's fingers was distracting him considerably.

Said fingers trailed up across the back of his hand a bit, the feathery touch doing wondrous things to Hotsuma's stomach. However, the moment was over before it had really begun and Shusei brushed past him to pull the sheet straight, leaving him staring at the brunette's slim back.

Hotsuma didn't get why his friend kept insisting of making the fucking bed.

"Geez, Shusei. Leave the bed alone. It's not like you're getting a visitor tonight."

The figure in front of him stilled for a second before he resumed his task. When the response failed to come, Hotsuma shrugged to himself.

"Fine." He snapped halfheartedly and got to the other side of the bed to pull the comforter back over the bed.

They worked in silence, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Did he say anything inappropriate? It wasn't as if Shusei would ever bring anybody from the outside to the mansion and the only person that slept in that bed beside his brunette friend was him.

He stopped dead in his thoughts right there. Fact was that he hadn't slept in that bed since… yes, since their talk after Ashley. Granted, he would come here often when Shusei wasn't there or they would sit on the bench near the window and talk or just watch the stars but each of them had been sleeping in their own bed.

Which was nothing they had chosen to do consciously, it just arose from the situation but now that he came to think of it he found it odd. It was supposed to be the other way around.

Damned, they were supposed to be closer toward each other not farther away, he thought angrily to himself. He glanced over to Shusei who was done with his side of the bed as well. His slender frame looked even more fragile in the rays of the setting sun that shone through the window, creating a halo like light around him. He almost looked like an angel, so unearthly beautiful that Hotsuma was afraid the person in front of him would dissolve into thin air at any second.

The sight knocked the air right out of his lungs and he swallowed thickly.

"It's almost dinner time. You shouldn't let Tachibana-san wait." That brought Hotsuma back into the present. The resolve came instantly and hit him with a clarity that was unprecedented.

"Ah, yeah? And what's it with the you? Shouldn't you have said we?" He pointed a finger at the brunette. "And don't tell me you're not hungry. Nobody can live from that little."

Shusei was about to respond but Hotsuma cut him off. He was sure that his friend was going to say something very smart and undoubtedly logical but he didn't give a crap. What he had to say was much more important.

"Oh no, you are not going to smart ass your skinny butt out of this!" He made his way around the bed to where Shusei was while he kept talking as if his life depended on it. And in a way that was even true. If he hesitated now the words would stop flowing and he would never say what he needed to say.

"We are going to eat together." He grabbed Shusei's hand, pulling him with him out of the room. "And tonight, I am going to sleep here. It would be a shame to let all the work go to waste, wouldn't it?" The words all but poured out of his mouth, heart hammering in his chest from the sudden excitement.

Very proud with himself - even though he had missed the mark a little - he stomped out of the room, Shusei trailing behind him, his hand firmly holding on to the person that he wanted to be closer to than anybody else in the entire world. He had made the first step. No matter what it would cost, he would get that kiss.

What he didn't see was the small smile on his partner's face.

So, chapter 1 is out. I am not sure yet how much I will let Hotsuma suffer before he gets what he wants but if you have ideas that can pose as obstacles, I will gladly consider them as plot ideas :-) But I promise that in the end there will be that kiss, yeah :-)