Oh my Thor everyone! I cannot tell you how exited I am to be writing this finally! So onward brothers! And may the force be ever in your favour.

Disclaimer: Hehehehe, not exactly XD

Our town is pretty isolated, there's nothing for about sixty miles in any direction. Well, except for the abandoned farm or so, and the 'Outcast,' hideout (a group of gangsta's).

We're unlike any other town on the map, so it's important for us to be a part of a family. To protect each other, and, of course, celebrate stupid things every once in a while, witch is just an excuse for everyone to get drunk.

This is the story of the time my family saved my ass when I had a little incident with the 'Outcasts', but before you go accusing me of being an idiot, I have to say, IT WASN'T MY FREAKING FAULT! *sigh,* okay let me start over.

"A little to the left!" Gobber said, as a few townspeople put up a banner that said 'Bork Week'. Bork Week is a week of the year… Uggg I'm so bad at remembering these things... Sometime in July I believe, but it's a week where we honer this guy that lived in Berk a few generations ago.

He was a dragon killer, I suppose we all were before I found Toothless. But he wrote everything he knew from studying dragons, down in a bunch of spiral notebooks and buried them under his house.

The my dad then spent two weeks transferring that into a Hard-drive that he keeps in Gobber's computer repair shop.

During Bork week, the schools all do like a celebratory all-night thing, where all the seniors all get drunk. Gobber usually puts on a movie he made on his computer of .gifs of everyone in school doing... things.

For example, last year he literally put on an hour long video of me trying to bench press fifty pounds.

But this year will be better, I hope. Now that we don't have little dragons burning down our houses.

You're probably wondering a lot of things right now. Like how I can't lift fifty pounds, why the dragons don't attack anymore, and what my name is.

To make things easier, I'll answer the last question first, my name's Hiccup. Yeah, you read that right, Hiccup. As in 'Hicc, Hicc, I'm drunk.' (Which I'm pretty sure my dad was when he named me).

Second question: The town used to be plagued by reptilian creatures about the size of an iPad mini, everyone would shoot them. And you were considered a 'man' once you did. I kinda missed, when aiming for one flying outside my bedroom window. I found it a few miles away, and it's tail was badly damaged. (Meaning a flap was completely blasted off), I'd worked at Gobber's computer/appliance story since I was littler, so I made it a tail out of the parts to a toy helicopter that I could control via remote. Gobber started teaching us target practice, and after befriending a dragon shooting the life out of them wasn't so appealing.

Toothless (I'd called my dragon because of it's retractable teeth) led me far off the outskirts of Berk, to a cave full of little dragons. It was then that I realized dragons were more than pesticide. And decided to stop my town from killing them.

Long story short, a queen dragon the size of a semi truck smashed my leg. So I also got a fake limb. Once I dragged myself back to town, bleeding like hell, my dad figured it out. And a few weeks later, we weren't shooting them anymore. Exept the one that smashed my leg, that one got hunted down by my dad.

And the first question: I'm not exactly would you would find in the dictionary next to the word 'Sexy.'

Then there's all my friends/family, Gobber is my dad's right hand man, literally cuz he only has a right hand, and a left foot. Or maybe vice versa, I don't really pay attention. He owns Berk's only computer repair shop, it's also an appliance/cellphone store. I've worked there to try to pay for a car, but considering there's still a Barbie-Girl bike that I spray painted black in my front yard, I should work there more.

My friend Astrid would be considered the female role-model for Berk, she's beautiful, tough, and a very good shot. She has a pet Deadly Naddar named Stormfly. She has really pretty blonde hair, and blue eyes, that match a streak in her bangs. Yes, I've had a crush on her for a while.

Fishlegs is probably the smartest person on Berk. I mean he built a fully operational, life sized pinball machine on Minecraft, in two hours. Although none of the adults on Berk think that's very cool. He has a pet Groncle named Meatlug.

There's the twins, Ruffnut and Tuffnut. The two of them are big time gamers, you name it: Skyrim, Minecraft, Halo, Slenderman, Modern Warefare, Flappy Bird. They are masters. Ruffnut is a big time tomboy, and Tuffnut is just sort of an idiot. But we love them for it. They share a two-headed Zippleback named Barf and Belch.

Then there's Snotlout. There's a song that played during Bork week last year, it goes like this: 'I'm to sexy for my shirt, I'm so sexy it hurts,' That song often comes to mind when thinking about him. He's one of those 'I'm to beautiful to die,' people. Plus he's a jerk sometimes. I mean it's cool that I can play Taylor Swift's 22 on gaiter right? He has a pet Monstrous Nightmare named Hookfang.

And then there's my dad. Others call him 'Stoick the Vast,' he's the mayor of Berk. He's also incredibly over protective. I mean he locked me in my room for a week when I was 13 after coming back from the mall with a leather jacket and fingerless gloves, thinking I was gong goth.

He eventually moved on, and I'm actually wearing a leather jacket right now.

I got on my iPhone and sent a group message to all my friends.

Me: Hey guys, meet me at the Dragon Nest at noon.

Astrid: Whutevs, C U then. ;)

Ruff: Can we make that 12:30? I've got a... Stuff.

Tuff: I second that.

Me: Alright, 12:30s fine.

Snotlout: You can't tell me what to do!

Me: -_-...

Snotlout: I hate u, but fine.

Fishlegs: What do u have planned for us this time Hicc?

Me: It's a surprise ;).

Bleh Bleh Bleh. Words words words. L-8-r peeps.